[Copypasta] My name is Maximus Decimus Meridius

twitchquotes: My name is Maximus Decimus Meridius, commander of the Armies of the North, General of the Felix Legions and loyal servant to the true emperor, Marcus Aurelius. Father to a murdered son, husband to a murdered wife. And I will have my vengeance, in this life or the next
twitch chat
June 2019
What happened to this ad? :(
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Navy Seal

What the fuck did you just fucking say about me, you little bitch? I'll have you know I graduated top of my class in the Navy Seals, and I've been involved in numerous secret raids on Al-Quaeda, and I have over 300 confirmed kills. I am trained in gorilla warfare and I'm the top sniper in the entire US armed forces. You are nothing to me but just another target. I will wipe you the fuck out with precision the likes of which has never been seen before on this Earth, mark my fucking words. You think you can get away with saying that shit to me over the Internet? Think again, fucker. As we speak I am contacting my secret network of spies across the USA and your IP is being traced right now so you better prepare for the storm, maggot. The storm that wipes out the pathetic little thing you call your life. You're fucking dead, kid. I can be anywhere, anytime, and I can kill you in over seven hundred ways, and that's just with my bare hands. Not only am I extensively trained in unarmed combat, but I have access to the entire arsenal of the United States Marine Corps and I will use it to its full extent to wipe your miserable ass off the face of the continent, you little shit. If only you could have known what unholy retribution your little "clever" comment was about to bring down upon you, maybe you would have held your fucking tongue. But you couldn't, you didn't, and now you're paying the price, you goddamn idiot. I will shit fury all over you and you will drown in it. You're fucking dead, kiddo.
April 2019

Classic

Navy Seal

Bad at video games. Get good.

twitchquotes: Hello Streamer. I would like to tell you a story. I am a 44 year old women from Colombia. My babby is 14 yaer old and has ligma so he cannot play vidya games. Everi day he must roll his wheelchair to school where he is bullied because of his condition. When he comes home he has no friends to play with, so the only thing he can do is to watch your stream. Because at least then he will feel good about his life since you are so fucking bad at video games. Fucking loser. Get good.
twitch chat
August 2019

Not gonna be active on twitch chat tonight

twitchquotes: Not gonna be active on twitch chat tonight. I'm meeting a girl (a real one) in half an hour (wouldn't expect a lot of you to understand anyway) so please don't whisper me asking me where I am (im with the girl, ok). Shes actually really interested in me and its not a situation i can pass up for some meaningless twitch chat pastas. (Gonna have lots of segz tonight with a real girl).
twitch chat
May 2021

President's Day Emoji Pasta PresiDICK's Day

Happy PresiDICK’S πŸ†πŸŒπŸŒ½ DAY‼️ Time ⏰⏰ to honor the DADDIES πŸ‘¬πŸ‘¬ of our nation πŸ‡ΊπŸ‡ΈπŸ‡ΊπŸ‡Έ George SLUTsington πŸ‘―πŸ‘―, Benjamin SPANKlinπŸ‘‹πŸ‘, John HanCOCK πŸ†πŸŒ½πŸ’¦πŸ’¦πŸ’¦ These POUNDING πŸ”¨βš’ fathers ERECTED ⬆️⬆️ their πŸ˜»πŸ“ƒCUNTstitutional dongs 😍🍌for LADY LIBERTY πŸ—½πŸ‘…πŸ™€ Raise that ASS πŸ‘ to πŸ’¦πŸ’¦ Abraham LinCUM πŸ’¦πŸ’¦, 🌲 WOODrow Wilson πŸ˜πŸŒ²πŸ˜‰, Bill CLIT-on πŸ‘ŒπŸ‘ˆ, and the CUMmander in chief, πŸ‘¦πŸ†πŸ‘€BarCOCK Obama πŸ‘¦πŸ†πŸ‘€ Don’t forget Dwight D. EisenWHORE πŸ‘€πŸ˜© DICKlared war πŸ”«πŸ’£ on those CUMMIES πŸ’¦πŸ’‚πŸ’‚ Share in ♋️ SUCKonds or you won’t be pounding πŸ”¨that presidential PUSSY πŸ™€πŸ™€ Get 5️⃣ back and ur a White House HOE 🏠 Get πŸ”Ÿ back and ur the SUCKretary of state πŸ“”πŸ˜™πŸ‡ΊπŸ‡Έ Get 20 back and the First Lady will make u moan πŸ˜©πŸ˜©πŸ’¦πŸ’¦πŸ’¦πŸ’¦πŸ’¦ HAPPY JIZZIDENT’S DAY!! Hail to the CHEEKS πŸ‘πŸ‘πŸ‘
February 2024

President's Day

Emoji Pasta

Holiday Emoji

YOU'LL NEVER TAKE ME ALIVE MODS

twitchquotes: ー═┻┳︻▄ξ(β•¬ΰ² η›Šΰ² )ξ▄︻┻┳═一 "YOU'LL NEVER TAKE ME ALIVE MODS!"
twitch chat
November 2014
Forsen
Text-to-Speech Playing