[Copypasta] My name is Maximus Decimus Meridius

twitchquotes: My name is Maximus Decimus Meridius, commander of the Armies of the North, General of the Felix Legions and loyal servant to the true emperor, Marcus Aurelius. Father to a murdered son, husband to a murdered wife. And I will have my vengeance, in this life or the next
twitch chat
June 2019
Famous line from the 2000 Gladiator film.
Waiting for adblock to be disabled
More Copypastas

How to kill a geologist

Disclaimer: my hatred of geologists is purely theatrical, but if I did have to kill one for some reason, it would be very easy. I’d brandish my obsidian knife at them and they’d be compelled to approach. β€œThat’s very cool,” they’d say, confident in their superior strength and endurance from all the rocks they carry around at all times. They’d shower me with very interesting facts about obsidian and hover just out of range of the cutting edge, waiting for me to exhaust myself. β€œBut as it is volcanic glass, it’s very fragile, you see, and isn’t well-suited for use as a weap—” and then I’d hit them with the wooden baseball bat in my other hand, which they would not have noticed because geologists can only see rocks and minerals.
January 2022

Red was not An Impostor

twitchquotes: . 　。　　　　‒　 γ€€οΎŸγ€€γ€€γ€‚ γ€€γ€€.γ€€γ€€γ€€.γ€€γ€€γ€€ γ€€γ€€.　　　　　。　　 。　. γ€€.γ€€γ€€ 。　 ࢞ 。　 . β€’ . Red was not An Imposter. . . 2 Impostor remains γ€€ 。　. γ€€ γ€€γ€€γ€‚γ€€γ€€γ€€γ€€γ€€γ€€οΎŸγ€€γ€€γ€€.γ€€γ€€γ€€γ€€γ€€. ,γ€€γ€€γ€€γ€€.γ€€ .γ€€γ€€ .
twitch chat
September 2020

Among Us / Amogus

Derpo Spamu-desu

twitchquotes: Hello my name is Derpo Spamu-desu, I am the last spamurai ........... if you wanna be part of this ancient japanese tradition spam your ascii and troll texts all over twitch. May the spam be with you! ▬▬ι═══════ﺀ
twitch chat
January 2015
imaqtpie

I met a man named madlife

twitchquotes: Back when I was in korea, I met a man named madlife, and he came up to me and said "this is how you play thresh you young wippersnapper" and I stood up out of my chair and said "okay" and that, is how the american madlife, machinegunnerusmc was made.
twitch chat
November 2014
machinegunnerusmc

My boss caught me watching a hottub streamer

Hey, quandale Pringle here, My boss caught me watching a hottub streamer during work and he squeezed my hog so hard and wouldn't even stop after I banned him. My brother Cornelius Bartholomew Anderson ringle got caught in an alberian twitch prime and bits scam and got sent to the gulag, but we've snuck him a Nokia 3310 in his ass with a spoon that he'll be using to plan a breakout with my cousin longsdale dimmsdimone slingle.
July 2022
More Copypastas
Text-to-Speech Playing