[Copypasta] My name is Maximus Decimus Meridius

twitchquotes: My name is Maximus Decimus Meridius, commander of the Armies of the North, General of the Felix Legions and loyal servant to the true emperor, Marcus Aurelius. Father to a murdered son, husband to a murdered wife. And I will have my vengeance, in this life or the next
twitch chat
June 2019
What happened to this ad? :(
More Copypastas

Trolling My Office With Among Us

There was a meme of a person trolling their school with Among Us. I am doing that to my office.My coworkers were working at their desks and I went up behind one of them. I yelled "When the imposter is sus!" and did the grin (from the meme) and hoped he would get it. He told me to go away so I slapped him and said "SUS! EJECT HIM!" Everybody was looking at me from throughout the office. I said "You're all impostors!" If they don't get the reference they are imposters! I ran over to the douchebag Jerry and smacked him, but he pushed me away and started calling the office. He got on the call but I got on the phone and said "HAHAHA YOU'RE A BIT SUSSY! DUN DUN DUN DUN DUN DUN DUN DUN" like the Among Drip theme song I ran out the door because I don't want to work with a bunch of LOSERS.
March 2021

Among Us / Amogus

Trolling with Among Us

Who is this salt vegan casual - Rania's cat

twitchquotes: Here i was, minding my own business, when suddenly this potato headed idiot just waltzes right into my life alwasy yelling 'topdeck this' and 'insane that'. who the *** is this salty vegan casual? i just want to eat and sleep all day, not listen to this oj guzzling nerd. Rania pls. -- sincerely, cat
twitch chat
April 2014
Kripp

I’m a simple guy

I’m a simple guy. I don’t know about all these fancy β€œfinancial instruments” or β€œmarket dynamics” or β€œwhere the clit is.” I like the stock, I buy the stock.
January 2021

WallStreetBets

Faceful Void

β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘ β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–„β–„β–„β–€β–€β–€β–€β–€β–„β–„β–„β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘ β–‘β–„β–„β–€β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–€β–€β–€β–„β–„β–‘β–‘ β–„β–€β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–€β–€β–„β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–„β–€β–‘β–‘β–‘β–€β–„β–‘ β–Œβ–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–„β–„β–„β–‘β–‘β–„β–‘β–„β–„β–‘β–‘β–‘β–„β–€β–‘ β–β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–€β–β–Œβ–‘β–‘β–’β–β–‘β–β–Œβ–€β–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–‘β–‘ β–‘β–€β–€β–„β–„β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–€β–€β–‘β–‘β–‘β–„β–„β–€β–„β–‘β–‘ β–‘β–„β–€β–‘β–ˆβ–€β–„β–‘β–„β–€β–ˆβ–€β–€β–„β–β–„β–„β–„β–‘β–Œβ–‘ β–β–Œβ–„β–€β–‘β–‘β–β–β–€β–ˆβ–€β–ˆβ–€β–Œβ–Œβ–‘β–‘β–β–‘β–β–‘ β–‘β–Œβ–β–Œβ–‘β–‘β–‘β–Œβ–€β–€β–€β–€β–€β–β–‘β–‘β–‘β–„β–Œβ–β–€ β–‘β–β–„β–€β–‘β–‘β–β–ˆβ–€β–€β–€β–€β–ˆβ–ˆβ–‘β–€β–„β–€β–€β–€β–‘ β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–Œβ–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–Œβ–‘β–€β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘ β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–β–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–β–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘ β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–€β–€β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–€β–€β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘
June 2015

Dota 2

Tiffany's chandelier

twitchquotes: I break into Tiffany's at midnight. Do I go for the vault? No. I go for the chandelier; it's priceless. As I'm taking it down, a woman catches me. She tells me to stop. It's her father's business. She's Tiffany. I say no. We make love all night. In the morning the cops come and I escape in one of their uniforms. I tell her to meet me in Mexico but I go to Canada. I don't trust her. Besides, I love the cold. Thirty years later I get a postcard. I have a son. And he's the Chief of Police. This is where the story gets interesting: I tell Tiffany to meet me in Paris by the Trocadero. She's been waiting for me all these years. She's never taken another lover. I don't care. I don't show up. I go to Berlin. That's where I stashed the chandelier.
twitch chat
November 2018
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