[Copypasta] My name is Maximus Decimus Meridius

twitchquotes: My name is Maximus Decimus Meridius, commander of the Armies of the North, General of the Felix Legions and loyal servant to the true emperor, Marcus Aurelius. Father to a murdered son, husband to a murdered wife. And I will have my vengeance, in this life or the next
twitch chat
June 2019
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More Copypastas

Hi Toast, this is Volibear's son

twitchquotes: Hi Toast, this is Volibear's son. Please Toast, could you give my dad some time off? I never get to play with him anymore ever since patch 9.14. I remember all the fun we used to have before he was so busy, he used to teach me chain attacks and always said "I never say no to a good ol cursed blade!". Whenever he comes home he seems too tired to play, his attack speed is 15% less! Since he left my mom's not been the same and she hits me, she'd never do this if my dad was here. Please Mr Toast.
twitch chat
July 2019
DisguisedToast

Teamfight Tactics

Chess is dead

Chess hasn't been updated in almost 200 years and it's obvious the devs have abandoned it. The greedy creators took your money and laughed all the way to the bank. I remember back in 705 AD when chess was fun. Then they started adding stupid features no one wanted like "Castling" and "En Passant" instead of listening to player feedback and fixing game-breaking bugs. I've been complaining for YEARS about the collision-detection glitch with the horsey. The "clipping-thru-pieces" bug has been abused to death and the lazy devs refuse to fix it. Don't support this awful behaviour and boycott this company.
February 2020

Chess

eat hot chip and lie

twitchquotes: any female born after 1993 can’t cook… all they know is mcdonald’s , charge they phone, twerk, be bisexual , eat hot chip & lie
twitch chat
November 2020

4D mindgames Kripp is playing with his opponent

twitchquotes: What chat is glossing over with this "misplay" is the 4D mindgames Kripp is playing with his opponent. He's making the opponent think he's a terrible player, and therefore more likely to make bad choices, when in reality he's playing against Kripparian the master of salt, and salty plays. He's a real wiz at juking people in a children's card game.
twitch chat
April 2018
Kripp

Hearthstone

Yoda and his RNG wisdom

twitchquotes: <(-_-)> greed leads to the bad rng, the bad rng leads to the frustration, frustration leads to the mistake, and the mistake leads to the dark side <(-_-)>
twitch chat
March 2016
Kripp

Hearthstone

Text-to-Speech Playing