twitchquotes:
i peed white 
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I used to be a real ad
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Ben Shapiro sings the South Park theme song
So lets say, hypothetically, that I was going down to South Park to have myself a 'time'. In this hypothetical situation, there are friendly folks who are completely devoid of temptation. Now, because I am going down to South Park, it is safe to assume that I would be leaving my woes behind. Now, hypothetically, when I arrive, there is ample parking during both the hours of the day and the night, and the media would be saying "howdy neighbor." OK liberal, now that we've established that, lets say next that I was to head up to South Park. I would then, hypothetically, be testing to see if I would be able to unwind in South Park. I would also like to mention that, as a conservative white male, I find large female genitalia to be very attractive. So, I will finish off my argument by stating that the liberal media should come on down to South Park and meet some acquaintances of mine, including my wife (who is a doctor).
Ben Shapiro
I hate April Fool's Day
I鈥檓 fucking shaking and crying right now y鈥檃ll, and people aren鈥檛 taking me seriously. This is a DUMB FUCKING HOLIDAY, where people say shit that ISN鈥橳 FUCKING REAL for NO REASON. I鈥檝e cut off 8 family members already for falling for this shriveled up, half-assed ANNUAL CORPORATE FIG LEAF like the NPC SHEEP THEY ARE. Maybe if they listened to REAL COMEDY like Bill Maher or political satire that validates what I already believe in, they鈥檇 be WORTHY OF INTERACTING WITH. BUT NO, I have to scroll through my timeline, seething, wailing and gnashing my teeth as I鈥檓 BOMBARDED BY LOW EFFORT CORNY CAPITALIST PROPOGANDA. THIS IS A SERIOUS DAY. I鈥檓 allowed to be this pressed about ha-ha corny joke day because IT鈥橲 SERIOUS FOR ME AND THEREFORE SHOULD BE FOR EVERYONE. My great uncle was tragically flattened while trying to rob a coca-cola vending machine on this date, and PEOPLE ARE STILL MAKING CORNU FUKUNG JOKES. I鈥檝e had enough
I couldn鈥檛 tell you what half of the companies in my portfolio do
I couldn鈥檛 tell you what half of the companies in my portfolio do or even what the ticker stands for...but you better believe I鈥檓 jacked to the mf鈥檌ng tits in every single meme stonk that you crayon eaters have been pumping. CHOO CHOO MF鈥橢R.
WallStreetBets
Response to "go fuck yourself"
What if I'm already fucking myself? Behind this simple insult hides a universal paradox that may put your sexuality in question. Let's do a simple thought experiment: imagine us two standing in front of each other. I, of course, am wearing a pair of jeans, that are covering my genitals and my butt. You then command me to "go fuck myself". I may be fucking myself already. I may as well not be fucking myself already. Until my dick and its position relative to my ass is observed, it is simultaneously in my ass, but also outside of it - thus, it stays in superposition. The moment you lay eyes on my penis, both states collide with each other and become either one. You may have already guessed what the problem here is. As soon as a single photon reflected by my dick enters either one of your eyes, you become gay. The only way to avoid this is to not observe my penis. But if you don't look at it, then you will never know if your insult had any effect, thus rendering it meaningless. Since you have already made the insult, you are now, too, in superposition - you're either wrong, or gay. It's unfortunate, really - you dug a hole for yourself without even knowing it. All you can do now is accept it, and learn from your mistakes.
Classic
When drums play, my hands automatically type Kreygasm
twitchquotes:
銉洁技嗪堎勍溹簣嗉斤緣 when drums play, my hands automatically type 
, i live for the moment and when Kripp comes i feel i have sex with the stream, all becoming well met. 銉洁技嗪堎勍溹簣嗉斤緣
, i live for the moment and when Kripp comes i feel i have sex with the stream, all becoming well met. 銉洁技嗪堎勍溹簣嗉斤緣
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Kripp