[Copypasta] BALDING not MALDING

twitchquotes: Look at all of these non-intellectuals in chat. They struggle so hard to spell simple words such as "bald". They always type "mald" in chat instead. The pure stupidity in chat makes me lose hair in a way in which my hairline recedes aka "BALDING" not "MALDING".
twitch chat
July 2019
I used to be a real ad
More Copypastas

"Based"? Are "Based"? Are you fucking kidding me?

"Based"? Are you fucking kidding me? I spent a decent portion of my life writing all of that and your response to me is "Based"? Are you so mentally handicapped that the only word you can comprehend is "Based" - or are you just some fucking asshole who thinks that with such a short response, he can make a statement about how meaningless what was written was? Well, I'll have you know that what I wrote was NOT meaningless, in fact, I even had my written work proof-read by several professors of literature. Don't believe me? I doubt you would, and your response to this will probably be "Based" once again. Do I give a fuck? No, does it look like I give even the slightest fuck about five fucking letters? I bet you took the time to type those five letters too, I bet you sat there and chuckled to yourself for 20 hearty seconds before pressing "send". You're so fucking pathetic. I'm honestly considering directing you to a psychiatrist, but I'm simply far too nice to do something like that. You, however, will go out of your way to make a fool out of someone by responding to a well-thought-out, intelligent, or humorous statement that probably took longer to write than you can last in bed with a chimpanzee. What do I have to say to you? Absolutely nothing. I couldn't be bothered to respond to such a worthless attempt at a response. Do you want "Based" on your gravestone?
August 2021

Based

Classic

Vaporeon

Hey guys, did you know that in terms of male human and female PokΓ©mon breeding, Vaporeon is the most compatible PokΓ©mon for humans? Not only are they in the field egg group, which is mostly comprised of mammals, Vaporeon are an average of 3”03’ tall and 63.9 pounds, this means they’re large enough to be able handle human dicks, and with their impressive Base Stats for HP and access to Acid Armor, you can be rough with one. Due to their mostly water based biology, there’s no doubt in my mind that an aroused Vaporeon would be incredibly wet, so wet that you could easily have sex with one for hours without getting sore. They can also learn the moves Attract, Baby-Doll Eyes, Captivate, Charm, and Tail Whip, along with not having fur to hide nipples, so it’d be incredibly easy for one to get you in the mood. With their abilities Water Absorb and Hydration, they can easily recover from fatigue with enough water. No other PokΓ©mon comes close to this level of compatibility. Also, fun fact, if you pull out enough, you can make your Vaporeon turn white. Vaporeon is literally built for human dick. Ungodly defense stat+high HP pool+Acid Armor means it can take cock all day, all shapes and sizes and still come for more
November 2020

Pokemon

Stack 4 cans

Check out these 4 cans dude PogChamp / DrinkPurple So neatly stacked Check out these 4 cans PogChamp / DrinkPurple So neatly stacked Check out these 4 cans PogChamp / DrinkPurple So neatly stacked Check out these 4 cans PogChamp / DrinkPurple
twitch chat
August 2016

Headphones

───────────────── β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–„β–„β–„β–„β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘ β–‘β–‘β–Ÿβ–€β–€β–‘β–‘β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–€β–€β–„β–‘β–‘β–‘ ░▐░░░▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓░░▐░░ ░▐░░▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓░░░░░▓▓░░▐░░ β–‘β–β–‘β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–“β–ˆβ–‘β–ˆβ–‘β–‘ β–‘β–β–‘β–ˆβ–“β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–“β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–‘β–‘ β–‘β–β–ˆβ–ˆβ–“β–‘β–‘β–„β–„β–„β–‘β–‘β–‘β–€β–€β–€β–‘β–‘β–“β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–‘β–‘ β–‘β–β–ˆβ–ˆβ–“β–‘β–‘Β Β Β Β Β β–ˆΒ Β β–‘β–‘Β Β Β Β β–ˆΒ Β β–‘β–‘β–“β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–‘β–‘ β–‘β–β–ˆβ–ˆβ–“β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–“β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–‘ β–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–ˆβ–“β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–“β–ˆβ–ˆβ–‘β–ˆβ–‘ β–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–ˆβ–“β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–“β–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–‘ β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–“β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–—β–Ÿβ–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–“β–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–‘ β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–“β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–“β–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–‘β–‘ β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–“β–‘β–‘β–‘β–€β–€β–€β–€β–€β–‘β–‘β–‘β–“β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘ β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–“β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–“β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘ β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–“β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–“β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘ β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘
August 2018

Marginally optimizing a children's game!

twitchquotes: Hey Kripp, loyal fan chiming in here (for once). I think your stream is great! I would have spent my time working towards a cure for cancer, or how to automate food production in the 3rd world, but luckily i stumbled onto your stream and now I can waste my time watching you marginally optimize a children's game! What a career you have made!
twitch chat
October 2014
Kripp
Text-to-Speech Playing