[Copypasta] BALDING not MALDING

twitchquotes: Look at all of these non-intellectuals in chat. They struggle so hard to spell simple words such as "bald". They always type "mald" in chat instead. The pure stupidity in chat makes me lose hair in a way in which my hairline recedes aka "BALDING" not "MALDING".
twitch chat
July 2019
What happened to this ad? :(
More Copypastas

AITA for not going to my friend’s funeral home if he isn’t coming to mine?

So me (69m) and my friend (69m) were at waffle house (7300 Innerplan Dr, North Little Rock, Arkansas 72113-7645, US) and were discussing funerals (6-9k). I mentioned that since I will be attending his funeral (approx. 2032) that it would be impudent for him not to turn up to mine (approx. 2036). Long story short, this lead for him to swing a naughty haymaker (right) directly aiming for my jaw when I rapidly dodged and gave the cheeky cunt a swift uppercut (broken nose). He is now hospitalized (critical condition) and I am now currently evading law enforcement (on foot). My family (69f wife, 54m son, 69f wife) have been trying to contact me but I keep telling them if I ever see that punk again, I will give him a little combo (right hook, left hook, headbutt then roundhouse kick). If he is still moving I will stomp on his head until he is a little red smear on the bottom of my boot (black timberlands). I know I’m right but I feel as if I may have overreacted a tiny bit (not too much) AITA?
November 2019

Am I The Asshole?

Sneaky play more aggressive

twitchquotes: Im fUcKiNg tIrEd oF SnEaKy nOt pLaYiNg mOrE AgGrEsSiVe aNd tRy tO CaRrY GaMeS, hE SuPpOsEd tO StEp tHe fUcK Up, He iS AdC AnD BeEn pLaYiNg gAmE OvEr 7 yEaRs, LeT'S FuCkInG Go, AtLeAsT TrY To cArRy aNd mAkE PlAyS LiKe dOuBlElIfT AnD WiLdTuRtLe, If yOu fUcK Up tHeN U FuCk uP, bUt dOnT PlAy tHeSe sHiT AdC'S AnD ShIt pOsItIoNiNg iN FiGhTs aNd jUsT LeT ThE GaMe cOmE To yOu, TaKe fUcKiNg oVeR AnD OwN YoUr rOlE AnD CuRrEnT GaMe, He's tUrNiNg iNtO JuSt aNoThEr aVeRaGe aDc aGaIn. My rAnT Is oVeR
twitch chat
June 2017
Sneaky

League of Legends

I feel bad for cumming on my turtle

March 2021

NSFW

Anime girl

β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–„β–„β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘ β–‘β–‘β–‘β–„β–€β–ˆβ–“β–“β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–“β–“β–“β–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘ β–‘β–‘β–‘β–„β–ˆβ–“β–“β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–“β–“β–ˆβ–Œβ–‘β–‘β–‘ β–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–“β–“β–ˆβ–ˆβ–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–“β–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–‘ β–‘β–β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–“β–“β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–“β–ˆβ–‘β–‘ β–‘β–β–Œβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–€β–β–€β–β–€β–β–ˆβ–Œβ–€β–Œβ–β–€β–ˆβ–“β–ˆβ–ˆβ–‘β–‘ β–‘β–β–‘β–ˆβ–ˆβ–‘β–„β–€β–€β–„β–‘β–‘β–„β–€β–€β–„β–’β–ˆβ–“β–ˆβ–Œβ–‘β–‘ β–‘β–‘β–‘β–β–Œβ–Œβ–‘β–β–“β–Œβ–‘β–‘β–‘β–β–“β–Œβ–’β–ˆβ–“β–ˆβ–Œβ–‘β–‘ β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–Œβ–‘β–‘β–€β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–€β–‘β–’β–ˆβ–“β–ˆβ–Œβ–‘β–‘ β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–β–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–Œβ–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–β–ˆβ–“β–ˆβ–Œβ–‘β–‘ β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–‘β–„β–„β–‘β–‘β–‘β–’β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–“β–Œβ–‘β–‘ β–‘β–‘β–‘β–β–“β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–’β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–’β–“β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–“β–ˆβ–‘β–‘ β–‘β–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–“β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–’β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–“β–ˆβ–‘ β–‘β–‘β–β–“β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–“β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–“β–ˆβ–Œ β–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–“β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–’β–’β–‘β–‘β–‘β–’β–’β–“β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–“β–“β–ˆβ–Œ
November 2014

Weebs

Which one of you got reddit to send me this

Which one of you fucks got reddit to send me this shit "Hi there, A concerned redditor reached out to us about you. When you're in the middle of something painful, it may feel like you don't have a lot of options."
December 2020

WallStreetBets

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