[Copypasta] Bad at video games. Get good.

twitchquotes: Hello Streamer. I would like to tell you a story. I am a 44 year old women from Colombia. My babby is 14 yaer old and has ligma so he cannot play vidya games. Everi day he must roll his wheelchair to school where he is bullied because of his condition. When he comes home he has no friends to play with, so the only thing he can do is to watch your stream. Because at least then he will feel good about his life since you are so fucking bad at video games. Fucking loser. Get good.
twitch chat
August 2019
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More Copypastas

Think again next time you call our chatroom yours

twitchquotes: You banned someone for posting something in "your chatroom"? I'll have you know that we, CHAT, rule this chatroom. We MAKE you, we OWN you, we pay your bills, we pay for your food, we pay for the small trojan box of condoms you bought last night, this isn't your chatroom bud. This is our chatroom . Think again next time you call our chatroom yours, it's ours.
twitch chat
June 2017

pepegaClown

⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⣀⠠⠒⠄⣰⣾⣿⣿⣿⠉⠐⠠⠤⢄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⣠⠔⠊⡽⠄⠄⠄⠄⢸⣿⣿⣿⣿⠃⠄⠄⠄⠄⣷⣦⡄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⡤⠊⠄⠄⠄⡇⠄⠄⠄⠄⠻⣿⣿⣿⣿⡇⠄⠄⠄⠄⣹⣿⣿⡀⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⣠⣾⡦⠄⠄⠄⠄⢳⠄⠄⠄⠄⣰⣿⣿⣿⡋⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠹⣿⣿⡃⠄⠄ ⠄⢀⣹⣿⣷⠄⠄⠄⠄⠘⢆⣀⠄⠄⢋⣭⣭⠭⣶⣬⡛⢋⣴⠟⣣⣬⣍⠃⠄⠄ ⠄⣿⣿⣿⣿⣆⡀⠄⠄⠄⣀⣨⣭⣶⢋⣩⣶⣿⣶⠶⣦⡈⠁⣾⣿⠄⠄⠱⡄⠄ ⠠⣾⣿⣿⣿⡿⢟⣠⣼⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣮⡹⣿⣿⠁⢀⢸⣿⡄⢻⣿⣇⠄⢃⡿⠄ ⠄⠈⢋⣉⣵⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⢸⡇⣿⡇⠄⠋⣸⠋⠄⠄⠈⠉⢉⠥⠖⠁ ⣠⣾⣿⣿⠟⣫⣔⣒⠻⣿⣿⣿⠹⣿⡘⠷⣭⣭⣭⡭⣥⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢰⣵⣾⡧ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⢸⡟⣍⠻⣷⣜⡻⠿⣿⣶⣤⣤⣤⣤⣴⣾⣿⣦⣀⠄⢀⣠⡿⢟⣋⠄ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⠸⣧⡹⢿⣮⣙⡻⠷⢦⣭⣛⣛⣛⣛⣛⣛⣛⣛⣛⣫⠭⢖⣚⡍⠁⠄ ⢿⣿⣿⣿⣧⡻⢷⣤⣀⠄⠙⠛⠷⣦⣬⣭⣭⣭⣭⡍⠉⠁⠄⠄⢀⠰⠛⠄⠄⠄ ⣦⡙⢿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣮⣝⡻⠷⠶⢤⣤⣬⣭⣭⡭⠥⢤⣤⡤⠶⣊⠁⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⣿⣿⣦⣭⣛⠻⠿⠿⢟⡻⠐⢃⠒⢥⣤⣄⢤⠠⢈⠂⣵⣶⣾⣿⣆⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠐⠂⠴⢞⠒⠒⡸⠐⢬⢀⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⡄⠄⠄⠄
October 2021

Pepe

Complexities behind classical music

twitchquotes: Chat doesnt understand the complexities behind classical music. While most of chat spends their days spamming "Kappas" and such, I study music theory and the works of Bach and Mozart. Musical masterpieces such as these are not easy for the average person to comprehend, and certainly above those that chat.
twitch chat
July 2018

I hate Twitch Chat

Infinite poop

twitchquotes: Infinite poop. You sit on the toilet to poop, but the poop never stops coming out of your butt. You have to start flushing the toilet every two minutes to keep up. You try to pinch your butt closed but that makes your insides hurt. The poop accelerates. You call 911. The paramedics call for doctors. The doctors call for specialists. The story trends on Twitter. You turn down talk show appearances. Your septic tank fails. People form a cult. Your toilet is finished. Volunteers arrive with buckets and shovels. You are completely used to the smell. The poop accelerates. You are moved to a stepladder with a hole in the top step. The poop accelerates. The shovelers abandon the buckets and shovel directly out the window. The poop accelerates. A candlelight vigil forms around your house. One of the workers falls over and can't free himself. The poop accelerates. A priest knocks over the stepladder and tackles you out the window. You land in the pile. The poop accelerates. The force now propels you forward and upward. Vigil goers grab at your legs. The poop ignites from their candles. The Facebook live event hits 1 million viewers. The poop accelerates. You are 30 feet in the air. The fire engulfs the vigil and your house. 60 feet. The poop accelerates. The torrent underneath you is deafening. 5 million Facebook live viewers. You try to close up shop but your butthole disintegrated long ago. 120 feet up. Your house explodes. The poop accelerates. 1000 feet. You are now tracked on radar. You try to change your angle of ascent but you should have thought of that way earlier. The poop accelerates. 4,000 feet. NORAD upgrades to DEFCON 3. Concentric circles of fire engulf your city. The poop accelerates. You have broken the sound barrier. 30,000 feet. You no longer take in enough oxygen to sustain consciousness. 60,000 feet. CNN is reporting on all the world records you've broken. 200,000 feet. You are no longer alive. The poop accelerates. Your body disintegrates but your poop contrail remains. NASA can no longer track you. You break the light-speed barrier and we can no longer bear witness. The poop accelerates. Forever.
twitch chat
June 2019

Classic

Competitive Super Smash Bros Melee has reached its zenith

twitchquotes: The year is 20XX. Competitive Super Smash Bros Melee has reached its zenith. No longer are matches decided through complex inputs and tactics. It began when some questioned the idea of matchups against characters. The community realized that gameplay no longer mattered, and only the character. Tournaments became complex games of rock-paper-scissors, and eventually another epiphany was had. Why bother with deciding afterwards and wasting time when the match could be decided before it began? Thus, referees decided who won and who lost automatically using a combination of facial recognition AI, mandatory reflex tests, and standardized quizzes and tests on military tactics and stratagem. With time, tests weren't even needed. Judges became so acute at deciding who won and who lost that tournaments happened in seconds, and results uploaded in less. The final destination was reached. Babies were bred and engineered to become the most desirable "players", if one could call it that. Soon, humanity ceased to think, and became mindless slaves to the autonomous ones and zeroes that decided their worth, ironically becoming the machines they once played with.
twitch chat
May 2020

Super Smash Bros

Text-to-Speech Playing