[Copypasta] Bad at video games. Get good.

twitchquotes: Hello Streamer. I would like to tell you a story. I am a 44 year old women from Colombia. My babby is 14 yaer old and has ligma so he cannot play vidya games. Everi day he must roll his wheelchair to school where he is bullied because of his condition. When he comes home he has no friends to play with, so the only thing he can do is to watch your stream. Because at least then he will feel good about his life since you are so fucking bad at video games. Fucking loser. Get good.
twitch chat
August 2019
I used to be a real ad
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what is the point of spamming in chat?

twitchquotes: what is the point of spamming in chat?? all you do is send some pixels to some other guy in his 30's who is pretending to be an idiot... wow what an accomplishment ๓ €€
twitch chat
January 2022

I hate Twitch Chat

Aura relentlessly stabbed the shell out of the turtle

twitchquotes: As Aura relentlessly stabbed the shell out of the turtle with his long hard white sword, he fondly remembered the time that Doug Bowser pounded him until he became bald. Aura was so entranced that he was distracted from the fact that in 1998, The Undertaker threw Mankind off Hell In A Cell, and plummeted 16 ft through an announcer's table.
twitch chat
February 2020
Aurateur

we don't operate on empty jars of spaghetti sauce

gf is prego we like to get kinky anyways one night things get particularly saucy i'm sticking my noodle in her when I notice weird fucking chunks coming out, so I turn on the lights wtf it's red everywhere and she's obviously not on her period i look up at her, she's got a glassy, jarred look on her face and she's not answering ohshitohshitohshitohshit i rush her into my car and speed all the way to the hospital she's still bleeding everywhere by the time we get there, she's not bleeding much anymore, but all the color has drained and she looks colorless and almost transparent oh shit, she looks like she's in a vegetative state storm into to the emergency room, cary her to the nearest doctor and explain eveything he takes one look at ther and says "sir, i'm sorry, there's nothing we can do" "WHY THE FUCK NOT???" "we don't operate on empty jars of spaghetti sauce"
February 2021

Classic

If you can press ctrl+v you can have dongers anytime!

twitchquotes: แ••โ”Œโ—•แ—œโ—•โ”แ•— Dongers in the morning, dongers in the evening, dongers at suppertime. If you can press ctrl+v you can have dongers anytime! แ••โ”Œโ—•แ—œโ—•โ”แ•—
twitch chat
December 2014
Kripp

I sexually identify as Ninja Fortnite Gaming

I sexually identify as Ninja Fortnite Gaming. Ever since I was young, I've dreamed of understanding "the pain of being famous", and producing shitty keyboards. People say to me that he was only popular in 2017, but I disagree. He will always have a special place in my heart. From a young age, I knew I was different. Dying my hair blue, being overly cocky, and stealing others' identities were just a few of my favorite childhood pastimes. I'm just not like other guys. From now on, I want you guys to call me Ninja Fortnite Gaming (Tyler Blevins is not acceptable). My pronouns are fort/nite. If you don't use or respect them you're a gamephobe griefer and need to try out his new skin and Gfuel flavor Chug Jug to become more culturally sensitive. Use code NINJAYT for 30% off your order today. Thank you for being understanding.
April 2022
Ninja
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