twitchquotes:
Copypaste this within the next ten seconds to prove you aren't a mobile user 
twitch chat
I used to be a real ad
More Copypastas
So that was a bruh moment
twitchquotes:
She said she was “pregnant,” but I wasn’t buying that. I knew she had gas, and a lot of it. I knew that, if properly coaxed out, she had to potential for the greatest fart *EVER*. So one night I walked into her room and slowly approached her belly, and with my entire weight, I performed the greatest pile driver I have ever done. But instead of the thunderous sound expected, I heard a squish sound. Turns out she was pregnant. So that was a bruh moment.
twitch chat
My name is Van, I'm an artist
twitchquotes:
My name is Van, I'm an artist, I'm a performance artist. I'm hired to people to fulfill their fantasies, their deep dark fantasies. I was gonna be a movie star y'know, modeling and acting. After a hundred and two additions and small parts I decided y'know I had enough, Then I got in to Escort world. The client requests contain a lot of fetishes, so I just decided to go y'know... full ♂Master♂ and change my entire house into a dungeon... ♂Dungeon♂Master♂ now with a full dungeon in my house and It's going really well. Fisting is 300 bucks and usually the guy is pretty much hard on pop to get really relaxed y'know and I have this long latex glove that goes all the way up to my armpit and then I put on a surgical latex glove up to my wrist and just lube it up and it's a long process y'know to get your whole arm up there but it's an intense feeling for the other person I think for myself too, you go in places that even though it's physical with your hand but for some reason it's also more emotional it's more psychological too and we both get you know to the same place it's really strange at the same time and I find sessions like that really exhausting. I don't know I feel kinda naked because I am looking at myself for the first time, well not myself but this aspect of my life for the first time and it's been harsh... three to five years already? I never thought about it... Kinda sad I feel kinda sad right now, I don't know why
twitch chat
Biden's America
The year is 2021. You look at the television. SIlver fox President Biden announces a vaccine mandate for employees. You clutch your limited edition Trump Funko Pop. It has begun. You gather up all your belongings, and jump into your truck, hitting the highway for the airport. Out of your rearview mirror you can make out a sleek black Prius pursuing you. You make out the numbers “1” “9” “8” and 4” on their license plate. You are able to lose the Prius and arrive at the airport. You are almost free. At airport security You see a young man being dragged away screaming. The guards yell something about him having more than 3.4 oz of liquid. Thankfully you only have an AR 15 on you. The guard inspects it.
“It’s for hunting,” you say.
They hand it back to you and wave for you to move along. You breathe a sigh of relief.
“One more thing.”
You turn to see a Guard staring down at you with their beady soulless eyes.
“I need to see your vaccination card”
It is too late. You try to run away, but you feel someone press a cloth against your face. Reality fades away. You wake up in some kind of lab, chained down to an operation table and gagged. The room is undecorated except for a single poster of Harry Styles in a dress on the wall. A single figure stands in the corner shrouded in shadow, fiddling with a syringe. As they step out of the shadow, you can make out their face, the roguishly handsome Gavin Newsom. He positions a large surgical headlight above you and turns it on. He holds up the large syringe to the light and chuckles, staring into your pleading eyes.
“Don't worry, it will all be over soon”
He removes his mask to reveal his serpent's tongue, flickering in amusement. He plunges the syringe straight through your “socialism is for figs” shirt into your arm.
“Nighty night”
Your world fades to black once more.
Joe Biden
Politics
VoHiYo
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⠤⠒⠈⠉⠉⠉⠉⠒⠀⠀⠤⣀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣰⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣄⠀⠀⠀⠀⠑⡄⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠰⠿⠿⠿⠣⣶⣿⡏⣶⣿⣿⠷⠶⠆⠀⠀⠘⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠠⠴⡅⠀⠀⠠⢶⣿⣿⣷⡄⣀⡀⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⡇⠀⠀⠀⠀
⠀⣰⡶⣦⠀⠀⠀⡰⠀⠀⠸⠟⢸⣿⣿⣷⡆⠢⣉⢀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
⠀⢹⣧⣿⣇⠀⠀⡇⠀⢠⣷⣲⣺⣿⣿⣇⠤⣤⣿⣿⠀⢸⠀⣤⣶⠦⠀⠀⠀⠀
⠀⠀⠙⢿⣿⣦⡀⢇⠀⠸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠇⠀⡜⣾⣿⡃⠇⢀⣤⡀⠀
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠙⢿⣿⣮⡆⠀⠙⠿⣿⣿⣾⣿⡿⡿⠋⢀⠞⢀⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡟⠁⠀
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠛⢿⠇⣶⣤⣄⢀⣰⣷⣶⣿⠁⡰⢃⣴⣿⡿⢋⠏⠉⠁⠀⠀⠀
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠠⢾⣿⣿⣿⣞⠿⣿⣿⢿⢸⣷⣌⠛⠋⠀⠘⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠙⠙⣿⣿⣿⣶⣶⣿⣯⣿⣿⣿⣆⠀⠇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣯⡙⢿⣿⣿⠟⡁⠰⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡟⠈⢩⣥⣾⣷⠐⡌⠙⠃⠀
Weebs
Caught you in 8K UHD surround sound
🤨📸 Caught you in 8K UHD surround sound 32 Gigs ram, HDR GEFORCE RTX, TI-80 texas insturments, Triple A duracell battery ultrapower100 Cargador Compatible iPhone 1A 5 W 1400 + Cable 100% 1 Metro Blanco Compatible iPhone 5 5 C 5S 6 SE 6S 7 8 X XR XS XS MAX GoPro hero 1 2 terrabyte xbox series x Dell UltraSharp 49 Curved Monitor - U4919DW Sony HDC-3300R 2/3" CCD HD Super Motion Color Camera, 1080p Resolution Toshiba EM131A5C-SS Microwave Oven with Smart Sensor, Easy Clean Interior, ECO Mode and Sound On/Off, 1.2 Cu. ft, Stainless Steel HP LaserJet Pro M404n Monochrome Laser Printer with Built-in Ethernet (W1A52A) GE Voluson E10 Ultrasound Machine LG 23 Cu. Ft. Smart Wi-Fi Enabled InstaView Door-in-Door Counter-Depth Refrigerator with Craft Ice Maker GFW850SPNRS GE 28" Front Load Steam Washer 5.0 Cu. Ft. with SmartDispense, WiFi, OdorBlock and Sanitize and Allergen - Royal Sapphire Kohler K-3589 Cimarron Comfort Height Two-Piece Elongated 1.6 GPF Toilet with AquaPiston Flush Technology