[Copypasta] Prove you aren't a mobile user

twitchquotes: Copypaste this within the next ten seconds to prove you aren't a mobile user LUL LUL LUL LUL
twitch chat
August 2019
I used to be a real ad
More Copypastas

DrDisrespect shungite

Anyways, um... I bought a whole bunch of shungite rocks, do you know what shungite is? Anybody know what shungite is? No, not Suge Knight, I think he's locked up in prison. I'm talkin' shungite. Anyways, it's a two billion year-old like, rock stone that protects against frequencies and unwanted frequencies that may be traveling in the air. That's my story, I bought a whole bunch of stuff. Put 'em around the la casa. Little pyramids, stuff like that.
May 2020
DrDisRespectLIVE

Classic

Shungite

I don’t know what Overwatch is

twitchquotes: I don’t know what Overwatch is. There’s a gorilla and some lesbians and guns but yall never play the gorilla I don’t know. And then sometimes if that wasn’t bad enough sometimes you go and just invent new Overwatches. Like just when I’m getting a handle on what β€œJunkrat kin discourse” is yall show up with β€œThis is my new OC her name is Grandma Sniper” and then SHE’S part of the Overwatchers. β€œThis is Swedish Beefcake” could yall? not?? I still don’t know what a Hanzo is.
twitch chat
April 2021

Overwatch

AITA for slapping a stand-up comedian who dissed my wife?

AITA for slapping a stand-up comedian who dissed my wife? Okay, little background. My (53M) wife (50F) has a medical condition called Alopeca Areata, which basically means she has excessive hair loss, and is currently bald. My relationship with my wife wasn't stable over the years, and I've caught her cheating on me multiple times, but we've pulled through. Anyway, we went to an awards show and usually there is a comedian who hosts the show and makes jokes at everybody (in a good way). The comedian was a guy we know (and he knew us), and we had a really good time. At one point, he mentioned me and my wife and I was happy he acknowledged us. But then, he took a jab at my wife about her condition, which I thought was way out of line, but I laughed out of embarrassment. My wife, on the other hand, was not laughing at all and rolled her eyes. At that moment I knew I had to stand up for her. I got up on stage, smacked the sh*t out of the guy, and went back to my seat. The comedian was shocked and really wasn't expecting my reaction. He wanted to keep talking about my wife but I shouted at him to stop. Usually I don't curse, but I was really pissed about the whole situation. My friends could see I was upset and during the break they came to comfort me, but other people think I'm the asshole. What do you think?
April 2022

Am I The Asshole?

Will Smith Slap

Hippo

β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–“β–ˆβ–ˆβ–“β–“β–ˆβ–ˆβ–“β–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–‘ β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–“β–ˆβ–“β–ˆβ–“β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–“β–ˆβ–ˆβ–‘β–‘ β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–“β–“β–’β€ƒβ€ƒβ–’β–’β–’β€ƒβ€ƒβ–ˆβ–‘β–‘ β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–“β–“β–“β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘ β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β€ƒβ€ƒβ–’β–’β€ƒβ€ƒβ–’β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘ β–ˆβ–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–“β–ˆβ–ˆβ–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–’β–’β–’β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘ β–ˆβ–ˆβ–“β–“β–“β–ˆ(◐)β–ˆβ–“β–“β–ˆβ–’β–’β–’β–’β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘ β–ˆβ–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–ˆβ–ˆβ–“β–“β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘ β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–ˆβ–“β–’β–’β€ƒβ–’β–’β–’β–’β–‘β€ƒβ–‘β–‘β–‘ β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–ˆβ–“β–“β–’β€ƒβ–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β€ƒβ–“β–‘β–‘β–‘ β–“β–ˆβ–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–ˆβ–“β–’β–ˆβ–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–‘ β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–’β–’β–’β–’β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘
November 2014

Ghiaccio: You know Paris, France?

You know Paris, France? In English, it's pronounced "Paris" but everyone else pronounces it without the "s" sound, like the French do. But with Venezia, everyone pronouces it the English way: "Venice". Like 'The Merchant of Venice' or 'Death in Venice'. WHY, THOUGH!? WHY ISN'T THE TITLE DEATH IN VENEZIA!? ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME!? IT TAKES PLACE IN ITALY, SO USE THE ITALIAN WORD, DAMMIT! THAT SHIT PISSES ME OFF! BUNCH OF DUMBASSES!
January 2021

JoJo's Bizarre Adventure

Text-to-Speech Playing