[Copypasta] My kids were listening to Lil Nas X

My kids were listening to old town road by Lil Nas X and one of my kids asked me doesn’t he worship satan? Thinking face I said yes son sadly he does. I had to turn on No role modelz by J Cole to cheer him up My kids idolize someone better now! Thank you J Cole you’re a life saver!
April 2021
https://knowyourmeme.com/memes/events/lil-nas-xs-montero-satan-shoes
(▀̿Ĺ̯├┬┴┬┴ Psst... kid, you wanna disable adblock?
More Copypastas

monkaS

⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠛⠋⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠙⠛⠿⠟⠋⠉⠁⠀⠈⠙⠻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⡿⠋⠀⠸⠄⢀⣀⠠⠤⠤⣀⡀⠐⡄⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠾⠂⠈⠻⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⡟⠀⠀⠀⠠⠋⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠉⠙⠻⠒⠚⠛⠛⠛⠛⠒⠒⠦⠘⢿⣿⣿ ⣿⠟⠀⠀⡆⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣤⣴⣶⣶⣶⣶⣶⣧⣄⢀⣠⣤⣤⣶⣶⣶⣤⣤⣙⢿ ⠁⢸⠀⠸⠅⠀⠀⣴⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡏⡉⠙⣿⣿⣼⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⢋⡉⢻⣿⡆ ⣀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢉⠛⠿⢿⣿⣿⣷⣧⣶⡿⠟⠸⠿⠿⣿⡿⠿⠶⠬⠾⠿⢃ ⠓⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⠙⠒⠤⠤⠬⠭⠁⣤⠤⠖⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣠⣾ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⠠⠔⠊⠁⠀⠀⠀⠑⠢⡄⠒⠒⠂⠰⣿⣿⣿ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠘⢿⣿ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣀⣤⣤⣤⣀⣀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⡈⣿ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣼⣿⣧⣭⣭⣍⣛⣛⣛⡶⠶⠶⢦⣤⣤⣤⣤⣤⣴⣶⠿⠛⣡⣿ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠰⢄⠈⠉⠉⠉⠉⠉⠉⠙⠛⠛⠿⠿⠿⠷⠶⠶⣶⣶⣶⡶⢟⣸⣿⣿ ⣄⣀⡀⠀⠀⠀⠉⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣀⣴⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⠀⠀⠈⠉⠓⠒⠢⠤⠤⠤⠤⣤⣤⣤⣤⠤⠄⠀⠀⠀⢴⣶⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠉⢻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿
ascii art
September 2020

Pepe

Jacked off in the shower while laying down in the tub

Jacked off in the shower while laying down in the tub -- shower water raining down from above. It was very nice and ended nicely. Later that day, I went to take a shit. Shit wouldn't come out, and I felt an odd tugging sensation between my ass cheeks. Thought I was dying and started freaking out while I tried to pinch my shit off to investigate. Turns out my jizz had found its way into my ass cheeks while laying down in the tub, mingled with all my ass hair, and solidified into a gelatinous plaster. Upon shitting, the hair was so fucked together that my cheeks couldn't separate for the shit to emerge (felt like that playdoh hair salon toy). I ended up having such a massacre of shitcum on my ass and hands that I had to get back in the shower just to clean off.
December 2020

your streams lately have really helped me

twitchquotes: hey [streamer], your streams lately have really helped me with my depression, bleakness, dejection, distress, sorrow, my car trouble, my 401k, my grades, my slimp dick, my underperforming AMD driver, the armenian genocide, the galloping campaign, the war in the vietnamese, oh god they are in the trees, the battle of antietam, the housing crisis of 2008, the bankruptcy of greece in 2015, the explosion of chernobyl, my late grandma denise
twitch chat
December 2020

A chef explaining why air fryers are a scam on r/unpopularopinion

As a chef, it’s an insult to hear “air fryers are as good as frying”. Air fryers are fucking bullshit scams and are just convection ovens with an extra fan added. Seriously, pan searing or regular baking will always be better. I swear to shit Jared if I hear you compare fried chicken to air fried chicken one more time I’m gonna smack the gob out of you. Edit: I’m in danger, I never realized how deep the air fryer fandom goes. I will die on this hill Edit2: I’ll never stop upvoting and loving you all but… but I’m just gonna go cry about something totally different.. Edit3: i think id be a lot less upset if it was called an “extra air oven” as its a convection oven with extra fans. Edit4: if I had a dollar for every comment “you clearly don’t own an air fryer” I’d be able to put it towards a new toaster oven. Edit5: the chances of getting doxxed over kitchen appliances isn’t high.. but never zero. Edit6: apparently air fryers are taking my job? Sorry boys and girls, no more foi gras for the rich.
November 2021

Happy poop

⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠋⣵⣶⣬⣉⡻⠿⠿⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠿⠿⠛⣃⣸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣦⢸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⢡⣶⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣦⣭⣙⠿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠿⠘⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣧⢸⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⠋⣴⣾⣿⣿⣿⡟⠁⠄⠙⣿⣿⣿⣿⠁⠄⠈⣿⣿⣿⣿⣈⠛⢿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣇⢸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣦⣤⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣦⣤⣴⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⡄⢿⣿ ⣿⠟⣋⣠⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⢸⣿ ⢁⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡉⠉⠉⠉⠉⠉⠉⠉⠉⠉⠉⠉⠉⠉⠉⠉⣹⣿⣿⣿⣦⠙ ⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣦⣄⣤⣶⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣦⣄⣤⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣧ ⠘⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠏ ⣷⣦⣙⠛⠿⢿⣿⣿⡿⠿⠿⠟⢛⣛⣛⡛⠻⠿⠿⠿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠿⠟⢛⣡⣾
ascii art
April 2021
More Copypastas
Text-to-Speech Playing