[Copypasta] I hate it when people type "xD"

twitchquotes: I hate it when people type "xD" :\
twitch chat
September 2019
I used to be a real ad
More Copypastas

Can I get my dick sucked by a tornado?

If you get pulled by a tornado, would the intense winds and stuff on your cock make you cum? And what would happen if that cum get thrown on something like a public park or near a school? Would you get registered if they found out it's your cum?
February 2021

Kripp's kidney stone surgery

twitchquotes: There was a heated discussion among the medical experts gathered around an operating table, on which laid an unconscious Romanian man in his 30s. "The salt levels are off the charts!" exclaimed a cardiologist. The head surgeon sighs, "I guess this is what you get when you combine a vegan diet and a sedentary lifestyle playing a children's card game." Upon those words the body suddenly stirs, from which a muted voice barely croaks, "Tell...Rania...not to press...the button".
twitch chat
September 2016
Kripp

Zamn She's 12?

⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣠⣶⣶⣶⢶⣲⣦⣀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣠⣶⣿⣿⡿⠿⠾⠿⠿⢿⣿⣶⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣾⣷⠟⠉⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠉⠳⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣼⣿⠇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠘⣼⡄⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣿⠏⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠨⣷⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢻⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣀⣀⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢛⣀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣀⠺⠏⠀⠀⠀⢁⠀⣀⠉⡣⣤⠤⢤⣶⠔⡋⢉⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⠄⢃⣄⠀⠀⠐⠁⣀⣘⠽⠁⠀⠸⡗⡁⠛⡽⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠄⠄⠈⣃⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⡀⠀⠀⠀⠘⢮⠉⠙⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠠⠄⡠⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣀⠎⠐⠦⣀⣀⣤⣴⣆⣤⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣤⣶⠏⡆⣿⣄⠀⠀⠀⣾⠏⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⠩⢼⣿⠇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⣀⣠⣴⣾⣿⣿⣿⠁⠆⢻⣿⣄⡀⢰⡿⣡⣦⣉⣉⠉⢉⣹⣿⠏⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡏⢀⠀⠀⠻⣿⣟⢿⡏⠏⠈⠉⠉⠉⠘⢸⣳⣿⣷⣄⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⣿⡟⢻⣿⣻⣿⡇⢘⡀⠀⠘⣿⡇⠘⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠰⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣦⡀⠀ ⣿⡅⢸⣿⡿⣟⣥⠀⢷⣤⣴⣿⣿⣆⠀⠰⡆⠀⢀⠀⠀⠀⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡇ ⣿⡇⣸⡥⡇⣿⣿⣷⡈⠻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣦⣤⣶⣀⣀⡠⠈⣱⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡇ ⣻⡇⣿⣿⡇⣿⢏⣻⣿⣦⡠⠙⠿⢿⣿⣿⠿⠟⣉⣪⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡏ ⣿⠃⣿⣿⣿⣿⠉⢿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣦⣤⣤⡰⠷⢶⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⣇ ⣿⢸⣿⣿⡇⣿⣾⣿⣿⣿⠟⠉⡿⣏⠏⠁⢠⣜⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⢿⣿⡇ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⢧⣿⣿⣿⣛⣚⣒⣀⣧⣿⠀⠀⠘⣧⠾⠶⠶⠶⠾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣏ ⣿⣿⡿⡟⠛⠛⠉⠉⠉⠉⠉⠉⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡗ ⣿⣇⣿⠀⠀⣀⡀⠀⣠⠀⢠⡀⣠⠀⣄⠀⣆⠀⣄⡢⠐⣴⠆⠀⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡷ ⣿⣷⢻⠀⠀⣀⠉⢸⠒⢣⢸⠈⠈⡆⠇⠑⠻⠀⠀⢤⣤⠄⠀⠀⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡷ ⣾⣿⢸⠀⠀⠉⠉⠈⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣀⣀⣰⣾⣿⣿⣿⣯⡗ ⣿⣿⣾⣐⢠⣤⣤⠤⠤⠶⠶⣶⣖⣒⣚⣛⣻⣿⣿⣭⣭⣭⣽⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡟ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣾⣿⣛⣋⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣟
November 2021

Fired for masturbating on a Zoom call

So this just happened an hour ago and I am still shaking. I’m a staff in public accounting and was in the middle of a 3-hour training on Zoom. Usually when we have these types of calls I just keep the video running in the background and I walk around the room doing things to pass the time and distract myself from the monotone presenters. Well today I forgot that I left the camera on (I usually always have it off but earlier today I had a call with the partner to discuss my upcoming promotion, so I had to have it on). I had no clue I had left the camera on and in the middle of walking around and muttering to myself as I was zoning out, I flipped it out and started to rub one out. I did so with complete confidence, openly and ferociously, stroking faster and faster until I heard the presenter stop and kindly asked me to turn my camera off. Mortified, I lifted my pants up and rushed over to turn the camera off. Soon after the training was over I had a call with HR and they let me know that I was being terminated. I hated the job anyway so not so bummed about that, but I’m not sure what to say in interviews now if I’m asked why I left this job. Any advice?
June 2021

Plebs spam 1 if you guys have feelings too

twitchquotes: Plebs spam 1 if you guys have feelings too..... oh wait EleGiggle
twitch chat
March 2016
Kibler

plebs vs subs

Text-to-Speech Playing