[Copypasta] Xi Jinping isn't so great?

twitchquotes: Xi Jinping isn't so great? Are you kidding me? When was the last time you saw a dictator with so much power over a country? Xi Jinping brings the world economy to another level, and we will be blessed if we see another dictator with his skill and passion for human rights again. Mao Zedong breaks records, Stalin breaks records, Xi Jinping breaks the rules. You can keep your free speech, I prefer my social credit score
twitch chat
November 2019
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I wore a mask at Target today

I wore a mask at Target today. Three of my lungs collapsed as I got carbon monoxide poisoning from breathing in my own bacteria. A brave patriot wearing an Affliction shirt, a MAGA hat, and sweet wrap around sunglasses saved me by giving me CPR. I thanked him and asked if he was a doctor and he said "who needs doctors when we have our fellow Americans, the ones who are here legally I mean." I hugged him and threw my mask on the ground. The Star Spangled Banner played on the speaker system as everyone in the store ripped off their masks and threw them on the ground, chanting "down with communism!" God, Jesus, and all the angels looked down upon us from Heaven and clapped.
June 2020

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Kripp at Blizzcon

twitchquotes: Hey Kripp, not sure if you remember me. I sat 3 rows behind you at Blizzcon 2014. I know I will never be a front row pro like you, but I want to let you know that your big head ruined me and my boyfriends experience. I know $200 might not be a lot to you, but I didn't spend $200 to watch the back of your head absorb the front part of your hairline, so next time, scoot over, k?
twitch chat
September 2018
Kripp

You've seen Miku on stage, but what about your wrist?

Youโ€™ve ๐Ÿ“ก๐Ÿ‘จ seen ๐Ÿ‘€๐Ÿ‘ค๐ŸŽ…๐Ÿป Miku on ๐Ÿ”› stage, 4๏ธโƒฃ๐Ÿ’– but ๐Ÿ˜  what ๐Ÿ‘๐Ÿผ about ๐Ÿฅด your ๐Ÿ‘‰ wrist? โŒš๐Ÿ’ฏ Wrist โŒš๐Ÿ’ฏ World ๐ŸŒ is an AR game ๐ŸŽฏ using ๐Ÿ˜ wristbands, now ๐Ÿซ‚ featuring Hatsune Miku! Collect songs, dances, and even โœ‹ save ๐ŸฆŽ the world! ๐ŸŒ Do ๐Ÿ‘€ You ๐Ÿ‘€๐Ÿ‘ฆ Wrist โŒš๐Ÿ’ฏ World? ๐ŸŒŽ wrist โŒš๐Ÿ’ฏ world ๐ŸŒ๐ŸŒŽ๐ŸŒ
June 2021

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Today is the day I copypasta

twitchquotes: (เธ‡ อ ยฐ อŸู„อœ อกยฐ)เธ‡ I have been training since before I was born, and today is the day. Today is the day I spam. (เธ‡ อ ยฐ อŸู„อœ อกยฐ)เธ‡
twitch chat
November 2014
Kripp

I hate gaming laptops

Today when I walked into my economics class I saw something I dread every time I close my eyes. Someone had brought their new gaming laptop to class. The Forklift he used to bring it was still running idle at the back. I started sweating as I sat down and gazed over at the 700lb beast that was his laptop. He had already reinforced his desk with steel support beams and was in the process of finding an outlet for a power cable thicker than Amy Schumer's thigh. I start shaking. I keep telling myself I'm going to be alright and that there's nothing to worry about. He somehow finds a fucking outlet. Tears are running down my cheeks as I send my last texts to my family saying I love them. The teacher starts the lecture, and the student turns his laptop on. The colored lights on his RGB Backlit keyboard flare to life like a nuclear flash, and a deep humming fills my ears and shakes my very soul. The entire city power grid goes dark. The classroom begins to shake as the massive fans begin to spin. In mere seconds my world has gone from vibrant life, to a dark, earth shattering void where my body is getting torn apart by the 150mph gale force winds and the 500 decibel groan of the cooling fans. As my body finally surrenders, I weep, as my school and my city go under. I fucking hate gaming laptops.
December 2020
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