[Copypasta] without throwing your cat across the room

twitchquotes: Hello this is Twitch staff. Unfortunately we have been notified that you have now reached 24 hours of stream time without throwing your cat across the room. As stated in our TOS, we require that all streamers must throw at least one pet a distance of 3 metres on camera in order to maintain the ability to stream. Failure to do so will result in your stream being disabled permanently. We will now unfortunately have to terminate your account. Thank you for your cooperation.
twitch chat
November 2019
Waiting for adblock to be disabled
More Copypastas

Catarrian hungry

twitchquotes: Hey Kripp, Catarrian here. Far too long have I meowed and you've ignored my plea for food. Here you are bragging to everybody about the militant "vegan" that you are, yet you neglect animals. It's time everybody knows the truth meow so we can report your sorry Romanian *** to PETA.ᕙ໒(˵ ̄ᴥ ̄˵)७ᕗ
twitch chat
November 2014
Kripp

I answer all of qt's questions he is asking himself

twitchquotes: my mom always asks me who I am skyping with, cause I answer all of qt's questions he is asking himself, am I weird?
twitch chat
August 2014
imaqtpie

Hello, trump supporter

Hello, OP. I've searched through your account history and see that you agreed with trump once back in 2017. As a redditor, and a good human, i have downvoted every post and comment on your account as far back as december 7th, 2013, on 5 different alternate accounts. I have reported every single post you have ever made. I hacked into reddit's serverbase and found out your IP address, real home address, and have constructed several bombs which are shipping there as we speak. I await your death, nazi.
August 2021

Donald Trump

Your league knowledge is insane Jack and LS fanfic

"Your league knowledge is insane." Jack said, as he slipped his feminine hand into LS's pants and smirked. "Are you trying to mate me?" protests LS, as Jack blushes, the boyish figure undressed before LS. "Weak gank attempt, Jack." The two kissed, deeply and passionately, and afterwards LS places his Renekton into Jack's bottom lane.
April 2022
imls

League of Legends

I hate Stuart Little

twitchquotes: I fucking hate Stuart Little. I know what you're thinking, this is some kind of funny joke, but no, Stuart Little is a piece of shit. A god damn rat got picked over actual children at an orphanage and he's supposed to be a hero? And I can't even tell you how many damn times I've seen a great parking space only to turn the corner and realise Stuart Little is already parked there in his stupid little fucking convertible.
twitch chat
May 2019
Text-to-Speech Playing