[Copypasta] without throwing your cat across the room

twitchquotes: Hello this is Twitch staff. Unfortunately we have been notified that you have now reached 24 hours of stream time without throwing your cat across the room. As stated in our TOS, we require that all streamers must throw at least one pet a distance of 3 metres on camera in order to maintain the ability to stream. Failure to do so will result in your stream being disabled permanently. We will now unfortunately have to terminate your account. Thank you for your cooperation.
twitch chat
November 2019
What happened to this ad? :(
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Hypnosis Spiral AlienPls

⣾⡟⠀⢰⡿⠁⢠⣿⡏⠁⣰⣾⠟⠉⠉⠉⠛⣿⣶⠈⢻⣷⡀⠈⣿⣧⠈⣿⣧⠀ ⣿⡇⠀⣿⡇⠀⣿⣿⠀⢸⣿⡇⢰⣿ AlienPls ⢸⣿⠀⢸⣿⡇⠀⣿⣿⠀⣿⣿⠀ ⣿⡇⠀⢿⡇⠀⢻⣿⡀⠘⣿⣇⠘⠻⢷⣶⣶⠿⠛⣠⣾⡟⠀⣠⣿⡏⢠⣿⡏
July 2022

The focus of a champion

twitchquotes: Sometimes I think the stream froze, but nope. Its just Michael Santana staring into the monitor and mouth breathing while remaining perfectly still. The focus of a champion.
twitch chat
July 2017
imaqtpie

League of Legends

Chairarrian's message to Kripp

twitchquotes: Hᴇʏ Kʀɪᴘᴘ, ɪᴛs Cʜᴀɪʀᴀʀʀɪᴀɴ. I ᴄᴀɴᴛ ᴛᴀᴋᴇ ᴛʜɪs ᴀɴʏᴍᴏʀᴇ, ʏᴏᴜ ɴᴇᴇᴅ ᴛᴏ sᴛᴏᴘ ᴜsɪɴɢ ᴍᴇ ᴀs ʏᴏᴜʀ ʀᴀʟʟʏ ᴠᴇʜɪᴄʟᴇ,ɪ ᴄᴀɴᴛ sᴛᴀɴᴅ ɢᴇᴛᴛɪɴɢ ᴅɪʀᴛɪᴇʀ.
twitch chat
August 2014
Kripp

My son won't stop using "TwitchSpeak?

My son (14) watches a lot of video game streamers on Twitch.tv. I personally don't find them entertaining but I can understand why some people (like my son) do. Over the past month he's starting using terms like "pog", "jabaited", and "Kappa" which I guess are terms that are used in the scope of Twitch. I don't have an issue with my son using these terms but it's gotten to the point where every sentence is Twitchspeak. We were having dinner and my daughter (age 12) was talking about how she got accepted for a summer program with the local animal shelter, and my son said "Pog you, easy clap". I told him that it was getting out of hand and that he would have to communicate normally to his parents and family. To that he said "Weird champ, feels weird man, normies omega LOL." Until he learns to communicate like a normal human being I've blacklisted Twitch from the internet for the time being. He's hysterical now but I told him that I would unblacklist it if he stopped using twitchspeak, but he's refusing to stop so for now it's banned. AITA?
May 2019

Classic

Am I The Asshole?

Hey Sing_sing why did you say you can't kick allies when Envy kicked you from Cloud9

twitchquotes: HEY SING_SING WHY DID YOU SAY YOU CANT KICK ALLIES WHEN ENVY KICKED YOU FROM CLOUD9
twitch chat
May 2015
SingSing
Text-to-Speech Playing