[Copypasta] Logan Paul Apology but I replace "apologize" with "cum"

I've made a severe and continuous lapse in my judgement and I don't expect to be forgiven. I'm simply here to cum. So what we came across that day on the woods was obviously unplanned and the reactions you saw on tape were raw, they were unfiltered. None of us knew how to react or how to feel. I should have never posted the video. I should have put the cameras down, and stopped recording what we were going through. There's a lot of things I should have done differently, but I didn't, and for that from the bottom of my heart, I am sorry. I want to cum to the internet, I want to cum to anyone who's seen the video, I want to cum to anyone who has been affected or touched by mental illness, or depression, or suicide. But, most importantly, I want to cum to the victim and his family. For, my fans, who are defending my actions, please don't, they do not deserve to be defended. The goal of my content is always to entertain, to push the boundaries, to be all inclusive and in the world I live in I share almost everything I do. The intent is never to be heartless, cruel, or malicious. Like I said, I made a huge mistake, I don't expect to be forgiven, I'm just here to cum. I'm ashamed of myself. I'm disappointed in myself, and I promise to be better. I will be better, thank you.
May 2022
I used to be a real ad
More Copypastas

AITA for not going to my friend’s funeral home if he isn’t coming to mine?

So me (69m) and my friend (69m) were at waffle house (7300 Innerplan Dr, North Little Rock, Arkansas 72113-7645, US) and were discussing funerals (6-9k). I mentioned that since I will be attending his funeral (approx. 2032) that it would be impudent for him not to turn up to mine (approx. 2036). Long story short, this lead for him to swing a naughty haymaker (right) directly aiming for my jaw when I rapidly dodged and gave the cheeky cunt a swift uppercut (broken nose). He is now hospitalized (critical condition) and I am now currently evading law enforcement (on foot). My family (69f wife, 54m son, 69f wife) have been trying to contact me but I keep telling them if I ever see that punk again, I will give him a little combo (right hook, left hook, headbutt then roundhouse kick). If he is still moving I will stomp on his head until he is a little red smear on the bottom of my boot (black timberlands). I know I’m right but I feel as if I may have overreacted a tiny bit (not too much) AITA?
November 2019

Am I The Asshole?

AITA For banning my sister from my wedding since she won't follow the dress code?

Hello Reddit UWU my name is fox chan nya~ 🦊 and this September I'm getting married (wiggles tail in excitement) πŸ˜πŸˆπŸ‡·πŸ‡Ί I'm getting married next week to my alpha horse wolf Shadow Senpai 🐴🐺πŸ₯°. The dress code is animal themed but my sister won't do it. She's Vagen😳 and thinks it's bad (cries cutely while Mozart's Symphony No. 40 in G minor plays)πŸŽΆπŸŽΌβ™«πŸŽ€ (eyes turn red like demon, but not like demon) I want to not invite her 😑😀🀬😈 AITA?
September 2021

Am I The Asshole?

this game is actually one of the best I've seen

twitchquotes: (Sponsored Viewer) βœ… : Okay guys enough with the BS this game is actually one of the best I've seen in quite a while. I understand kripp may be "selling out" but that doesn't mean he isn't enjoying the game. After playing for a couple of minutes I got hooked, line and sinker. I suggest you fellow chat dwellers do the same. So much Fun! (5$ has been transferred to your PayPal account.)
twitch chat
July 2017
Kripp

sellout

Dennis

twitchquotes: ο½—ο½ˆο½…ο½Ž ο½„ο½…ο½Žο½Žο½‰ο½“ ο½“ο½ο½‰ο½”ο½…οΌŒ my ο½…ο½™ο½… ο½ο½•ο½”ο½ο½ο½ο½”ο½‰ο½ƒο½ο½Œο½Œο½™ go to ο½”ο½ˆο½… ο½ˆο½…ο½’ο½ ο½ˆο½…ο½ο½Œο½”ο½ˆοΌŽ i ο½—ο½ο½”ο½ƒο½ˆ ο½”ο½ˆο½… ο½ˆο½…ο½’ο½ ο½ˆο½…ο½ο½Œο½”ο½ˆ ο½ο½Žο½„ ο½†ο½…ο½…ο½Œ i ο½ˆο½ο½–ο½… ο½“ο½…ο½˜ ο½—ο½‰ο½”ο½ˆ ο½”ο½ˆο½… οΌ’ skipped ο½”ο½•ο½’ο½ŽοΌŽ all ο½‚ο½…ο½ƒο½ο½ο½‰ο½Žο½‡ sudoku
twitch chat
March 2014
Kripp

There's no reason to have a Dad Bod when push ups exist

There's no reason to have a Dad Bod when push ups exist. I'm always finding time to crank out a few p-ups. Ahh yep, I do maybe a thousand p-ups a day and I'm a father of two. Those nerds coloring with crayons? Time to squeeze in a few p-ups. Little dorks eating mac and cheese? It's p-up time. I'm like a leathered marble statue of a really muscular guy, my muscles are so tight and rugged. Hell, I took a p-up break while typing this comment. The ladies at work, these little work ladies, love when I crank out p-ups right there in front of them and come up off the floor red faced and with a sizeable bulge in my slacks. That bulge is unrelated to the p-ups, by the way, I'm just a guy who's always one hard nipple poking through a shirt away from a full meat platter. Hell, I'd cheat on my wife with one of these little work ladies if she wasn't one of the little work ladies I work with. We bone in the bathroom. I get jacked on p-ups and then we bone in the bathroom and there's nothing my boss can do about it because my vascularity is way too intimidating. I tell him he should do some p-ups if he wants to fuck my wife. It's the only way she gets that slizz juiced and loosed. She wants to see multitudinous p-ups and she wants to see those p-ups now! Whoops! Haha, okay, looks like she's watching me type this over my shoulder. Uh oh. See ya later, nerdbags. I'm gonna p-ups myself up to a full plumper and pump that honey ham rump of my little work lady wife.
April 2021
Text-to-Speech Playing