[Copypasta] Logan Paul Apology but I replace "apologize" with "cum"

I've made a severe and continuous lapse in my judgement and I don't expect to be forgiven. I'm simply here to cum. So what we came across that day on the woods was obviously unplanned and the reactions you saw on tape were raw, they were unfiltered. None of us knew how to react or how to feel. I should have never posted the video. I should have put the cameras down, and stopped recording what we were going through. There's a lot of things I should have done differently, but I didn't, and for that from the bottom of my heart, I am sorry. I want to cum to the internet, I want to cum to anyone who's seen the video, I want to cum to anyone who has been affected or touched by mental illness, or depression, or suicide. But, most importantly, I want to cum to the victim and his family. For, my fans, who are defending my actions, please don't, they do not deserve to be defended. The goal of my content is always to entertain, to push the boundaries, to be all inclusive and in the world I live in I share almost everything I do. The intent is never to be heartless, cruel, or malicious. Like I said, I made a huge mistake, I don't expect to be forgiven, I'm just here to cum. I'm ashamed of myself. I'm disappointed in myself, and I promise to be better. I will be better, thank you.
May 2022
I used to be a real ad
More Copypastas

Apparently I "ruined" Thanksgiving dinner

twitchquotes: Apparently I "ruined" Thanksgiving dinner by bringing my girlfriend Asuka. My mum didn't care that she was a giat robot pilot, tasked with protecting the world after the Second Impact. She insisted that Asuka isn't real and now we're banned from the local country club. Anyways, my mum says if I don't bring a "real" girl to our Christmas dinner I'm going to get kicked out of the house!!! Asuka sets the bar pretty high but if you think you can compete with her please message me :)
twitch chat
May 2019

Weebs

Gitraktmaet motherships descend upon the Earth

twitchquotes: High in orbit, the Gitraktmaet motherships descend upon the Earth. They prepare to enslave the world and mine it for all its salt, but the scanners detect an abnormally high concentration inside a tiny shack in Greece. The invasion won't be necessary. "Lock onto him with the RNG disruptor," says the captain, greedily. "Soon we shall have all the salt we need."
twitch chat
February 2015
Kripp

Classic

salty

I put my cursor over Kripp's and pretend we're holding hands

twitchquotes: (◕‿◕✿) sometimes... when i have a bad day.... I put my cursor over Kripp's and pretend that we're holding hands (◕‿◕✿)
twitch chat
August 2015
Kripp

Classic

Babbling book is quickly becoming one of my favorite cards

twitchquotes: Babbling book is quickly becoming one of my favorite cards. It's just so positive and generous. Practically costs nothing at all at one mana you drop him on the board and that chill ass mofo gives you a spell to use later in the game. And you also get this adorable little 1/1 can ping things but usually is too harmless to be removed. But more than the BB is just so positive. It comes on the board like "do you want to cast a spell?" and I'm like "yeah BB i do want to cast a spell let's do this shit" and when he attacks he's like "SPELLS ARE FUN" and I'm like "yeah they are SO FUN." He doesn't say some bullshit macho shit like "I will destroy you" he's just like "nah spells are fun." And it looks so happy. I mean this is an inanimate object literally brought to life by magic. It understands it's life is a temporary magical gift and the dude is just fucking loving it. I mean look at his face he's just so happy. I am literally never sad when babbling book is on board. IDK if he's gonna make it into the metagame or not but for now he (or she) a pretty chill card
twitch chat
December 2016

Classic

Hearthstone

i’ll have you know that i make over 6 figures

twitchquotes: sorry bud, i don’t have time to be in a little fictional world like you do. i’ll have you know that i make over 6 figures a year and live in a house with 4 bathrooms....and that’s not even including my investments....
twitch chat
April 2019
Text-to-Speech Playing