[Copypasta] This guy's pasta is CRAZY!

twitchquotes: ☑ This guy's pasta is CRAZY!” ☑ “My rigatoni can't win against a linguini like that” ☑ "He NEEDED that alfredo to win" ☑ “He meatballed the only marinara that could beat me” ☑ "He had the perfect fettucini ☑ “There was nothing I could cook” ☑ “I cooked that al dente”
twitch chat
August 2014
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Forsen how DARE you miss lethal

twitchquotes: Forsen how DARE you miss lethal. You are a pro gamer. I look up to you as my hearthstone mentor, perhaps even as a father figure. My dad wouldn't miss lethal, and neither should you...
twitch chat
November 2014
Forsen

Oh my gourd, I am financially ruined (agricultural futures)

I have lost everything, and I'm not sure how to continue. This summer I invested $17,500 (six months salary and my entire life savings) into ornamental gourd futures, hoping to capitalize on this lucrative emerging industry. After watching a video about Vincent Kosuga and his monopoly on onions, I decided I'd try to do something similar with another vegetable. I did some research and found out many agricultural forecasters expected this year's gourd yield would be far smaller than the past, due to deteriorating soil conditions in central Mexico and a warmer-than-average spring. At first, demand soared around Halloween and prices skyrocketed, but the gourd bubble burst on November 12th. Unfortunately, the coronavirus caused a massive drop-off in demand due to fewer families decorating their tables for thanksgiving, and prices plummeted. I had invested early enough that I thought I would still be fine, but then on the morning of December 2nd, a new email in my inbox caused my stomach to turn into a pretzel. The massive gourd shipment from Argentina, scheduled for early March, had arrived. I was planning on selling off my futures right before this, in February, but this ruined everything. To top it off, the gourds in this shipment were absolutely gargantuan, some topping 4 pounds each, causing the price-per-pound to drop like an anchor into the range of 6 cents per pound. I am ruined.
January 2021

Classic

WallStreetBets

xqcWar (emote)

⣿⣿⡿⠛⣉⣭⣤⣴⣶⣶⣶⣶⣶⣤⣭⣉⡛⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⠟⣩⡖⢿⣿⡟⢿⣿⡿⠛⠛⣿⣿⣿⣟⣉⠉⣶⡙⣛⣛⣛⠛⠿⠿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⢸⣿⡇⢸⣦⠀⠠⣾⣷⡞⢁⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣴⣿⣧⢹⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣦⣍⡻⣿⣿ ⣆⠻⡷⢾⣷⣦⣴⣬⣿⣤⣤⡴⠛⠛⠻⣿⣼⣿⢇⡞⠟⠻⢿⠏⠹⠃⠛⣿⣆⢹ ⣿⠗⣨⡿⠿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠿⣛⣁⣨⡿⠀⠐⢿⡂⢈⡁⣈⣿⡿⢰ ⣁⣈⣥⣴⣶⣦⣤⣭⣉⣉⠩⣭⣭⣴⣾⣶⣤⣤⣾⣿⣷⣿⣾⣷⣾⣷⣿⠟⣡⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠟⠁⠀⠀⠀⠙⠛⠿⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠿⠿⠛⠛⠷⣌⠻⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠟⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⢻⣶⣦⣤⣬ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⠏⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠹⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠶⣶⠶⢶⠰⢶⡆⢿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⡟⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢠⡏⢀⡿⠀⣼⠁⠈⠿⣿ ⣿⣿⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⠀⠀⠁⠀⠉⠀⠀⠀⠉ ⢋⣉⣀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢤⣤⣤⣤⣴⣶⣶⠶⠖⠒⠂⠀⠐⠂⠲⣶ ⢠⣶⢀⢸⣿⣦⠶⠶⢶⣶⣶⡶⠶⠒⠾⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠦⢠⠤⠶⠀⣰⣶⣶⣸ ⣼⣿⡆⠘⠟⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢠⡶⠀⠀⠈⣿⣿⣿⡟⠙⢰⡟⠀⠀⠀⡀⢙⣿⢯
ascii art
June 2021
xQcOW

A man orders bat at his favorite restaurant

A man orders bat at his favorite restaurant. 3 years later, NFLX fucking tanks 20% after earnings.
January 2022

WallStreetBets

Ricardo

⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢴⡶⣶⣶⣶⡒⣶⣶⣖⠢⡄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢠⣿⣋⣿⣿⣉⣿⣿⣯⣧⡰⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⣿⣿⣹⣿⣿⣏⣿⣿⡗⣿⣿⠁⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠟⡛⣉⣭⣭⣭⠌⠛⡻⢿⣿⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⣤⡌⣿⣷⣯⣭⣿⡆⣈⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⢛⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢻⣷⣽⣿⣿⣿⢿⠃⣼⣧⣀⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⣛⣻⣿⠟⣀⡜⣻⢿⣿⣿⣶⣤⡀⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢠⣤⣀⣨⣥⣾⢟⣧⣿⠸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣤⡀⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢟⣫⣯⡻⣋⣵⣟⡼⣛⠴⣫⣭⣽⣿⣷⣭⡻⣦⡀⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢰⣿⣿⣿⢏⣽⣿⢋⣾⡟⢺⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⢹⣷⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⣿⣿⣿⢣⣿⣿⣿⢸⣿⡇⣾⣿⠏⠉⣿⣿⣿⡇⣿⣿⡆ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⣿⣿⣿⢸⣿⣿⣿⠸⣿⡇⣿⣿⡆⣼⣿⣿⣿⡇⣿⣿⡇ ⠇⢀⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠘⣿⣿⡘⣿⣿⣷⢀⣿⣷⣿⣿⡿⠿⢿⣿⣿⡇⣩⣿⡇ ⣿⣿⠃⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢻⣷⠙⠛⠋⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣶⣿⣿⣿⡇⣿⣿⡇
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May 2019
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