[Copypasta] This guy's pasta is CRAZY!

twitchquotes: ☑ This guy's pasta is CRAZY!” ☑ “My rigatoni can't win against a linguini like that” ☑ "He NEEDED that alfredo to win" ☑ “He meatballed the only marinara that could beat me” ☑ "He had the perfect fettucini ☑ “There was nothing I could cook” ☑ “I cooked that al dente”
twitch chat
August 2014
What happened to this ad? :(
More Copypastas

Hello Kripp, Cattarian here

twitchquotes: CoolCat Hello Kripp, Cattarian here. Since I'm dead, my new family bought me sunglasses and propped me up like in that movie Weekend At Bernie's. How you doing in Canadaland? Playing Grindstone? Been lucky? Not dead like me? Say hello to Rania from me. CoolCat
twitch chat
July 2015
Kripp

HOW TO GET SPAGHETTI OUT OF NINTENDO SWITCH urgent !!!!!

hi guys long story short i tried asking my friends and everything and nobody is helping i got mad at smash bros so out of anger i threw a bowl of spaghetti on my dock and i think a noodle got stuck in the top because it got pushed in and so i came here because everybody else is ignoring me so i thought maybe somebody out there that did the same thing has some advice please help my last resort is having to send this to nintendo because that cost money and is scary to mail it out
June 2021

Hello Kripp, Deathgarden developer here

twitchquotes: Hello Kripp, Deathgarden developer here. I finally see that you got your vegan bitch ass to work. Remember, you're forced by contract to show off this game in all its splendor. And not only I'm paying you with a fuckton of money, but you also might get your wife back soon enough. So you better start getting some kills and play decently, or you will have to say goodbye to your midget dog. Happy gaming.
twitch chat
June 2019
Kripp

sellout

It's already priced in

twitchquotes: Don't even ask the question. The answer is yes, it's priced in. Think Amazon will beat the next earnings? That's already been priced in. You work at the drive thru for Mickey D's and found out that the burgers are made of human meat? Priced in. You think insiders don't already know that? The market is an all powerful, all encompassing being that knows the very inner workings of your subconscious before you were even born. Your very existence was priced in decades ago when the market was valuing Standard Oil's expected future earnings based on population growth that would lead to your birth, what age you would get a car, how many times you would drive your car every week, how many times you take the bus/train, etc. Anything you can think of has already been priced in, even the things you aren't thinking of. You have no original thoughts. Your consciousness is just an illusion, a product of the omniscent market. Free will is a myth. The market sees all, knows all and will be there from the beginning of time until the end of the universe (the market has already priced in the heat death of the universe). So please, before you make a post on wsb asking whether AAPL has priced in earpods 11 sales or whatever, know that it has already been priced in and don't ask such a dumb fucking question again.
twitch chat
April 2020

Leifman talk the mumble automatically go to awkward

twitchquotes: Ｗｈｅｎ ｌｅｉｆｍａｎ ｔａｌｋ ｔｈｅ ｍｕｍｂｌｅ ａｕｔｏｍａｔｉｃａｌｌｙ ｇｏ ｔｏ ａｗｋｗａｒｄ． Ｌｅｉｆｍａｎ ｇｅｔ ｒｅｋｔ ｂｙ ｔｈｅ ｋｒｉｐｐ ａｎｄ ｆｅｅｌ ａｔ ｏｎｅ ｗｉｔｈ ｔｈｅ ｃｒｉｎｇｅ． ａｌｌ ｂｅｃｏｍｉｎｇ ｕｎｍｏｄ ｌｅｉｆｍａｎ
twitch chat
March 2014
Kripp
More Copypastas
Text-to-Speech Playing