[Copypasta] Scraggly vegan is the only one left

twitchquotes: BOB “You’re doing GREAT out there!” I exclaim with as much enthusiasm as I can this late in the day. The scraggly vegan is the only one left in the tavern, his attention focused entirely on the card game we put out to entertain children and toddlers. “I don’t wanna talk about it guys” cries the man, knocking his cup of vegan water over. I try to reassure him that everyone has bad luck now and then, but he just ignores me, as always. This tavern attracts some strange types indeed.
twitch chat
December 2019
Kripp

Hearthstone

I used to be a real ad
More Kripp Copypastas

Misogynist Pig Kripp

twitchquotes: you have an "!imgay" response but don't have an "!imbi", "!imtrans*", "!imfurry", "!imreallyacat", or "!imfeminist" response? misogynist pig kripp
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October 2014
Kripp

Do you know who else didn't pet cats?

twitchquotes: Hi Kripp, do you know who else didn't pet cats? Hitler. Hitler didn't pet cats. Do you want to be a Nazi too?
twitch chat
November 2014
Kripp

Kripp, this is your psychiatrist

twitchquotes: ᴋʀɪᴘᴘ, ᴛʜɪs ɪs ʏᴏᴜʀ ᴘsʏᴄʜɪᴀᴛʀɪsᴛ. ɪ'ᴅ ʟɪᴋᴇ ᴛᴏ sᴇᴛ ᴜᴘ ᴀɴᴏᴛʜᴇʀ sᴇssɪᴏɴ ᴡʜᴇʀᴇ ᴡᴇ ᴇʟᴀʙᴏʀᴀᴛᴇ ᴜᴘᴏɴ ʟᴀsᴛ ᴛɪᴍᴇ, ʏᴏᴜ sᴀɪᴅ ʏᴏᴜ ᴡᴇʀᴇ ғᴇᴇʟɪɴɢ ᴅᴇᴘʀᴇssᴇᴅ ʙᴇᴄᴀᴜsᴇ ʏᴏᴜ ʟᴏᴏᴋ ʟɪᴋᴇ ᴀ 40 ʏᴇᴀʀ ᴏʟᴅ ᴍɪᴅᴅʟᴇ ᴀɢᴇ ᴍᴀɴ ᴡʜᴇɴ ʏᴏᴜ'ʀᴇ ʀᴇᴀʟʟʏ ɪɴ ʏᴏᴜʀ ᴛᴡᴇɴᴛɪᴇs, ᴀɴᴅ ʏᴏᴜʀ ᴇxᴘʟᴏsɪᴠᴇ ʙʀᴇᴀᴋᴜᴘ ᴡɪᴛʜ ʏᴏᴜʀ ɢɪʀʟғʀɪᴇɴᴅ, ʜᴀғᴜ. sᴇᴇ ʏᴏᴜ sᴏᴏɴ ᴏᴄᴛᴀᴠɪᴀɴ.
twitch chat
October 2014
Kripp

Petition to fly Kripp down to Houston

twitchquotes: I am starting a petition to fly Kripp down to Houston to aid in the Hurricane Harvey relief effort. The unprecedented levels of PJSalt that spew from his mouth will reduce the water levels by at least 75%. One copy pasterino = 1 prayer BlessRNG
twitch chat
September 2017
Kripp

Kripp will never, ever click the button

twitchquotes: Kripp will never, ever click the button. The expansions will release at a faster rate than he can collect dust. Much like the contents of the briefcase in Pulp Fiction, the button is merely a carrot Kripp dangles in front of his viewers without any intention of actually delivering. This is blatantly obvious - he even admits he doesn't bother to calculate because he knows he'll never click it. We will spam this pasta until the button has been clicked.
twitch chat
September 2016
Kripp

Hearthstone

Text-to-Speech Playing