[Copypasta] My son is learning Twitch speak

twitchquotes: Kripp I need advice. My son watches a lot of you, and he doesn’t speak English but is learning from chat. He's starting using terms like "pog","jabaited", and "kappa,” but its gotten to the point where every sentence is Twitchspeak. At dinner my daughter was talking about how she got accepted to college, and my son said "pog you, easy clap". I told him to talk normally to his family, and he replied "Weird champ, normies omegaLOL." I blacklisted twitch and now my son is hysterical, what to do.
twitch chat
December 2019
Kripp
I used to be a real ad
More Kripp Copypastas

Real hardcore gamers play at least 4 games at a time

twitchquotes: οΌ’ games at ο½”ο½ˆο½… same ο½”ο½‰ο½ο½…οΌŸ ο½†ο½‰ο½Œο½”ο½ˆο½™ ο½ƒο½ο½“ο½•ο½ο½ŒοΌŽ ο½’ο½…ο½ο½Œ ο½ˆο½ο½’ο½„ο½ƒο½ο½’ο½… gamers ο½ο½Œο½ο½™ at ο½Œο½…ο½ο½“ο½” οΌ” games ο½—ο½‰ο½”ο½ˆ ο½ο½Žο½… ο½ˆο½ο½Žο½„ tied ο½‚ο½…ο½ˆο½‰ο½Žο½„ ο½”ο½ˆο½…ο½‰ο½’ ο½‚ο½ο½ƒο½‹οΌŽ ο½“ο½…ο½’ο½‰ο½ο½•ο½“ο½Œο½™ ο½‹ο½’ο½‰ο½ο½οΌŒ if you ο½—ο½ο½Žο½” to keep your viewers you better step it ο½•ο½οΌŽ ο½“ο½‰ο½Žο½ƒο½…ο½’ο½…ο½Œο½™οΌŒ a ο½“ο½ο½ο½Ž to be ο½…ο½˜οΌο½‹ο½’ο½‰ο½ο½ο½Œο½…ο½”
twitch chat
July 2014
Kripp

Great Thermo-War

twitchquotes: It is the year 2134. I am one of the last people on the planet. Nearly everyone was wiped out in the Great Thermo-War. Now there is no reason to live. I open my holodeck-transponder and go to "Twitch tv". I turn on Kripp's stream and see that he has made it to Rank 10. I succumb to my radiation poisoning.
twitch chat
January 2015
Kripp

Hey Kripp, it's your dog, Dex!

twitchquotes: OhMyDog Hey Kripp, it's your dog, Dex! I just wanted to let you know that some more of my fur fell out today. Maybe it's that "vegan" diet you've been putting me on? Anyways, I love you, and wish you would stop playing that card game all the time and talk to me and Rania sometimes. Sorry, that's a lot to ask, I know you need money to buy us more "kale" or whatever. Anyways, good luck on your "Heart Stone"! OhMyDog
twitch chat
June 2016
Kripp

Kripp and G2A

twitchquotes: "I won't do it." says Kripp."You guys are rotten scammers selling stolen keys." The G2A dealer stands in the corner, face obscured by the shadows. "Are you sure?" he says with a toothy grin. Kripp nods. The G2A dealer steps out of the shadow, and Kripp is shocked to see it is none other than Scamaz. "I give the order, and Rania and Pupparian die. I've already taken Cattarian as punishment. Now sign the deal." Kripp sobs as he signs, and hopes his viewers will one day understand his plight.
twitch chat
July 2016
Kripp

VEGAN MAN

twitchquotes: VEGAN MAN 🌊 😍 Take me by the hand βœ‹ lead me to the spam that you understand πŸ™Œ 🌊 VEGAN MAN 🌊 😍 The voyage 🚲 to the top of the 🌎deck is a real trip πŸ‘Œ 🌊 VEGAN MAN 🌊 😍 The crust of a Romanian man πŸ‘³ fueled by the banned πŸ‘ Soaking up the πŸ’¦ salt in the spam πŸ’―
twitch chat
September 2016
Kripp

Emoji Pasta

Text-to-Speech Playing