[Copypasta] My son is learning Twitch speak

twitchquotes: Kripp I need advice. My son watches a lot of you, and he doesn’t speak English but is learning from chat. He's starting using terms like "pog","jabaited", and "kappa,” but its gotten to the point where every sentence is Twitchspeak. At dinner my daughter was talking about how she got accepted to college, and my son said "pog you, easy clap". I told him to talk normally to his family, and he replied "Weird champ, normies omegaLOL." I blacklisted twitch and now my son is hysterical, what to do.
twitch chat
December 2019
Kripp
I used to be a real ad
More Kripp Copypastas

I was watching you play Prismata yesterday and fell asleep

twitchquotes: Hey Kripp. I was watching you play Prismata yesterday and fell asleep. In my dream I was playing prismata and fell asleep. The same thing happened in my dream's dream. It was the worst nightmare ever and I woke up in a cold sweat. Please don't play prismata anymore I don't want to go through that again. Pls no copy pastrami.
twitch chat
November 2014
Kripp

Brofist

β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘ β–‘β–‘β–‘β–„β–ˆβ–€β–ˆβ–„β–ˆβ–€β–ˆβ–„β–„β–„β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘ β–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–’β–‘β–‘β–€β–ˆβ–„β–„β–‘β–‘β–‘β–€β–€β–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘ β–‘β–ˆβ–’β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–’β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–’β–„β–‘β–€β–€β–ˆβ–„β–‘ β–‘β–ˆβ–’β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–’β–‘β–‘β–„β–€β–‘β–‘β–‘β–’β–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–‘ β–‘β–ˆβ–’β–‘β–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–’β–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–€β–’β–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–€β–‘β–‘β–€β–ˆ β–‘β–ˆβ–’β–‘β–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–’β–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–’β–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–“β–‘β–‘β–‘β–“β–ˆ β–„β–€β–ˆβ–“β–“β–‘β–ˆβ–’β–‘β–“β–ˆβ–“β–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–“β–‘β–‘β–“β–„β–ˆ β–ˆβ–’β–’β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–„β–“β–“β–ˆβ–“β–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–“β–‘β–‘β–„β–ˆβ–‘ β–ˆβ–’β–’β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–€β–ˆβ–„β–€β–‘β–„β–€β–“β–„β–ˆβ–€β–‘β–‘ β–ˆβ–’β–“β–“β–“β–ˆβ–€β–€β–„β–€β–ˆβ–„β–„β–€β–„β–„β–€β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘ β–‘β–€β–„β–„β–„β–ˆβ–„β–„β–€β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘
February 2015
Kripp

The tragedy of Darth Kripparian the Salty

twitchquotes: Did you ever hear the tragedy of Darth Kripparian the Salty? I thought not. It’s not a story the streamer would tell you. It’s a Salt legend. Darth Kripparian was a Dark Lord of the Salt, so powerful and so wise he could use the Force to influence the midichlorians to create salt… He had such a knowledge of the dark side that he couldn't even keep the cards he cared about from dying. The dark side of the Force is a pathway to many abilities some consider to be salty.
twitch chat
April 2017
Kripp

Tragedy of Darth Plagueis The Wise

salty

Mr. Morosan's deceptive practices

twitchquotes: Twitch Chat (β€œChat”) respectfully submits this memorandum of law in support of its motion to enjoin Octavian Morosan (β€œnl_Kripp”) from distributing false and deceptive advertising for his stream. The "nl" of Mr. Morosan's streaming identity refers to "no life." This is a blatantly deceptive and demonstrably false claim as it can be qualitatively determined that Mr. Morosan does indeed have a life. The Lanham Act merits an injunction preventing Mr. Morosan's deceptive practices.
twitch chat
April 2017
Kripp

Mindnumbingly slow Hearthstone games

twitchquotes: Using footage of Octavian "Kripp" Morosan's mindnumbingly slow Hearthstone games, a landmark sleep study at Cologne University has successfully replicated the brain patterns produced in a comatose state. Lead researcher Don Pepporoni had hopes that this research will be able to cure the thousands of mentally invalid children who have, of late, been reduced to perpetual shitposting on video game streams.
twitch chat
January 2015
Kripp
Text-to-Speech Playing