[Copypasta] Coke Gaming out!

twitchquotes: HI, this is Coke Gaming here In the Twitch stream of Aurateur. We would like to give you lots of money and gifted subscriptions, and maybe you can be on a platform-wide ad! Please be as loud and obnoxious as possible, the louder the reaction the better! Thank you for considering us. Coke Gaming out!
twitch chat
December 2019
What happened to this ad? :(
More Copypastas

You toss and turn as Elon gently rubs your shoulders

You toss and turn as Elon gently rubs your shoulders. "You seem a little tense" says Elon, as you look at your bank account. Your phone shows $107 left to your name. You think to yourself while Elon rubs you down, you pull open Robin Hood, type in TSLA. Leaps $900 JAN 2023' are only $1 you can afford 1 leap. This is finally your chance to get rich, you'll be able to actually buy a Tesla. You ask Elon what the next Tesla will be. He says "U, for 'you'" as he smiles sweetly. You picture him dancing on stage explaining U S3XY to everyone multiple times as you smile back at him. All of a sudden Elon flips on the TV to CNBC to catch the tail end of Jim Cramer, you see a new law has been passed, "we believe options have inflated the markets into a bubble, we will be imposing a new rule next week only allowing accounts that qualify for day trades to also purchase options with a $25,000 barrier to entry." You start weeping aloud, you feel a caring hand wipe your tear away, it's Elon again, "what's wrong my little X'βˆšΟ€3?" Suddenly you wake, you're in a pool of sweat, at first you panic about the new options policy, then you're filled with relief realizing that options aren't restricted it was all a dream. You realize this was actually a vision to earn 200,000% gains to buy a TSLA leap. You log into RH, it welcomes you with your $107 balance, you plug in TSLA yolo 2023 @ $900 and realize the options are actually $20 each. The best you can do is $900 TSLA weekly expiring around Christmas. In a slight fit of despair you try to remember the feeling of Elon rubbing your cheek, and rub one out onto your stomach, then roll over back to sleep. A single tear rolls from your eye into your waifu pillow. YOLO you whisper.
December 2020

WallStreetBets

SPAM THESE BOATS IF YOU'RE SICK OF GOATS

twitchquotes: SPAM β›΅ THESE β›΅ BOATS β›΅ IF β›΅ YOU’RE β›΅ SICK β›΅ OF β›΅ GOATS β›΅
twitch chat
March 2019
OverwatchLeague

Rhyme Chant

Overwatch

NA COMING THROUGH

twitchquotes: NA COMING THROUGH β™Ώ GO TO SCHOOL RISK LIFE β™Ώ 10 IQ PRESIDENT β™Ώ GETTING MY SISTER PREGNANT β™Ώ WALL β™Ώ THINK THEY SAVED WORLD WAR β™Ώ NA EDUCATION β™Ώ GOVERNMENT SO BAD HAD TO SHUT DOWN
twitch chat
February 2019

EU vs NA

Yamas! This is Mr OpieOP's Greek Restaurant

twitchquotes: Yᴀᴍᴀs! α΄›ΚœΙͺs Ιͺs ᴍʀ. OpieOP 's ɒʀᴇᴇᴋ ʀᴇsα΄›α΄€α΄œΚ€α΄€Ι΄α΄›. Fᴏʀ α΄€ ʟΙͺᴍΙͺᴛᴇᴅ α΄›Ιͺᴍᴇ ᴏɴʟy, yᴏᴜ α΄„α΄€Ι΄ ɒᴇᴛ α΄€ ΚŸα΄€Κ€Ι’α΄‡ α΄›α΄’α΄€α΄›α΄’Ιͺα΄‹Ιͺ α΄©Ιͺα΄’α΄’α΄€ α΄€Ι΄α΄… α΄€ ᴍᴇᴅΙͺᴜᴍ sᴇʀᴠΙͺΙ΄Ι’ ᴏF ᴏᴜᴒᴏ Fᴏʀ ᴏɴʟy 4.20 $! ᴛᴏ ʙᴇ α΄‡ΚŸΙͺΙ’ΙͺΚ™ΚŸα΄‡ ᴛᴏ α΄›ΚœΙͺs ᴏFFᴇʀ, α΄›yᴩᴇ α΄›Κœα΄‡ ᴄᴏᴅᴇ "Opie OP" (ɴᴏ sᴩᴀᴄᴇ) Ιͺɴᴛᴏ α΄›Κœα΄‡ α΄„Κœα΄€α΄›. sᴇᴇ yᴏᴜ α΄€α΄› ᴍy ʀᴇsα΄›α΄€α΄œΚ€α΄€Ι΄α΄›!
twitch chat
November 2014
Kripp

Troll Face 2

β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–„β–„β–„β–„β–„β–“β–“β–“β–„β–„β–„β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘ β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–„β–„β–“β–€β–€β–€β–€β–€β–€β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–„β–‘β–‘β–‘ β–‘β–‘β–„β–„β–“β–€β–€β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–€β–“β–„β–‘ β–‘β–β–“β–“β–Œβ–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–’β–’β–’β–’β–“β–Œ ░▐▓▒░░▄▒▒▓▄▄▒▒▒░▒▄▄▄▒▒▓ β–‘β–“β–“β–Œβ–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–’β–’β–’β–’β–€β–’β–’β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“ ░▐▓░░░░▒▒▓(◐)β–“β–‘β–‘β–‘β–’β–“β–“(◐)β–’β–“ β–ˆβ–‘β–€β–„β–‘β–ˆβ–„β–ˆβ–€β–„β–„β–‘β–€β–‘β–€β–„β–„β–€β–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–‘β–ˆ β–‘β–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–‘β–€β–„β–ˆβ–„β–ˆβ–‘β–ˆβ–€β–„β–„β–„β–„β–„β–€β–ˆβ–ˆβ–‘β–ˆ β–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–‘β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–„β–ˆβ–„β–ˆβ–„β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–ˆ β–‘β–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–‘β–€β–€β–ˆβ–‘β–ˆβ–€β–ˆβ–€β–ˆβ–€β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–‘β–ˆ β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–€β–„β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–€β–€β–„β–ˆβ–„β–ˆβ–„β–ˆβ–„β–€β–‘β–ˆ β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–€β–„β–„β–‘β–’β–’β–’β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–ˆ β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–€β–€β–„β–„β–„β–„β–„β–„β–„β–„β–„β–„β–€
September 2016
Text-to-Speech Playing