[Copypasta] Promoted to mod status

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February 2020
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Only the chosen one can wear the the tick antenna

Only the TheTick chosen one can wear the the tick antenna like a man TriHard . Can you give another person the antenna TheTick liek this or cry like a little baby scrub WAAAHH. ? But BabyRage wait! , 2 TheTick antennas are for pussies , Chosen One stacking PogChamp master can do 3 . No no no no TheTick another bro can stack 4 of it ALL AT ONCE WHAT A Jebaited GOD ! The real chosen one is always me .
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September 2017

Fired for masturbating on a Zoom call

So this just happened an hour ago and I am still shaking. I’m a staff in public accounting and was in the middle of a 3-hour training on Zoom. Usually when we have these types of calls I just keep the video running in the background and I walk around the room doing things to pass the time and distract myself from the monotone presenters. Well today I forgot that I left the camera on (I usually always have it off but earlier today I had a call with the partner to discuss my upcoming promotion, so I had to have it on). I had no clue I had left the camera on and in the middle of walking around and muttering to myself as I was zoning out, I flipped it out and started to rub one out. I did so with complete confidence, openly and ferociously, stroking faster and faster until I heard the presenter stop and kindly asked me to turn my camera off. Mortified, I lifted my pants up and rushed over to turn the camera off. Soon after the training was over I had a call with HR and they let me know that I was being terminated. I hated the job anyway so not so bummed about that, but I’m not sure what to say in interviews now if I’m asked why I left this job. Any advice?
June 2021

Become one with the awkward

twitchquotes: Ｗｈｅｎ Ｒｅｙｎａｄ ｄａｒｅ， ｍｙ ｐａｌｍ ａｕｔｏｍａｔｉｃａｌｌｙ ｇｏ ｔｏ ｆａｃｅ． Ｉ ｂｅｃｏｍｅ ｏｎｅ ｗｉｔｈ ｔｈｅ ａｗｋｗａｒｄ， ａｎｄ ｃｒｉｎｇｅ． Ｐｌｓ ｎｏ ｃｏｐｙｐａｓｔｅｒｉｎｏ．
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March 2014
Reynad

Mango Bay CoolCat

twitchquotes: CoolCat 𝓜𝓪𝓷𝓰𝓸 𝓑𝓪𝔂 CoolCat 𝓜𝓪𝓷𝓰𝓸 𝓑𝓪𝔂 CoolCat 𝓜𝓪𝓷𝓰𝓸 𝓑𝓪𝔂 CoolCat 𝓜𝓪𝓷𝓰𝓸 𝓑𝓪𝔂 CoolCat 𝓜𝓪𝓷𝓰𝓸 𝓑𝓪𝔂 CoolCat 𝓜𝓪𝓷𝓰𝓸 𝓑𝓪𝔂 CoolCat 𝓜𝓪𝓷𝓰𝓸 𝓑𝓪𝔂 CoolCat 𝓜𝓪𝓷𝓰𝓸 𝓑𝓪𝔂 CoolCat 𝓜𝓪𝓷𝓰𝓸 𝓑𝓪𝔂 CoolCat 𝓜𝓪𝓷𝓰𝓸 𝓑𝓪𝔂 CoolCat 𝓜𝓪𝓷𝓰𝓸 𝓑𝓪𝔂 CoolCat 𝓜𝓪𝓷𝓰𝓸 𝓑𝓪𝔂 CoolCat 𝓜𝓪𝓷𝓰𝓸 𝓑𝓪𝔂 CoolCat 𝓜𝓪𝓷𝓰𝓸 𝓑𝓪𝔂 CoolCat 𝓜𝓪𝓷𝓰𝓸 𝓑𝓪𝔂 CoolCat 𝓜𝓪𝓷𝓰𝓸 𝓑𝓪𝔂 CoolCat
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January 2017

Dota 2

I went to see Cars in the theater yesterday

Ok, this is ABSOLUTE fucking bullshit. I went to see Cars in the theater yesterday, and when Lightning McQueen got HOT with Sally in Radiator Springs, my boner engaged. When Lightning McQueen said "Ka-Chow!", I couldn't help it!!! I closed my eyes, and I TORE my dick to shreds, using whip like motions and pulled with great force. That was one of the best nuts I ever had, just thinking about it now gets me riled up. Thing is, I nutted all over the kid sitting right next to me, and his mom got all pissed at me, screaming at me for jacking off on her son. I told that bitch to shut the fuck up, and that jacking off is a natural, artistic, and beautiful process. You should BE HAPPY that my semen is all over your son, maybe he can learn a lesson or two about the culture and art of jacking off. HOWEVER, the movie theater managers didn't agree with me. They KICKED ME OUT of the movie theater, and I didn't even finish watching the Cars movie. Not only THAT, but they made me clean up my semen after it already dried out and solidified on the seats. THATS TORTURE!! Do you know how hard it is to clean semen after its dried out? You CLEAN semen after its FRESH out of your cock, not an hour after you fucking nutted. This is a fucking OUTRAGE. Do you really expect me to not whip out my cock and jack off when i see a HOT sex scene in a movie? Either don't ban sex scenes in movies, or LET ME jack off in your theater, assholes.
December 2020
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