twitchquotes:
NA THIS EU THAT IM JUST WIDIN IN TWITCH CHAT
NA THIS EU THAT IM JUST WIDIN IN TWITCH CHAT
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I used to be a real ad
More Copypastas
TIFU: Losing my Virginity to a Water Slide
So do you guys know those waterslides that you stand in, and then they suddenly drop you straight down onto the water slide? If not, look them up on YouTube, there's nothing like them.
Ah yes, the sweet memories of my first time on one of these. I feel that my mental/emotional scars have healed enough to tell this gem.
At the time my girlfriend, now Fiancรฉe, worked as a photographer for one of those resorts with the indoor and outdoor water parks. One of her perks was that her and a family member/friend could get into the waterpark for free, so one hot summer day she had off and we both decided it'd be fun to go there and cool down for the day.
While we were there, I discovered one of there most "Thrilling" looking waterslides. Basically you stand in this tube, and then the slide operator presses a button and this slide drops you straight down a good 90 FEET, before you actually start going down the water slide. Me, being a thrill seeker, of course had to try it. So I made the great climb up to the top of the slide, stood in line, and finally it was my turn. Once I got in the tube, the operator told me to keep my legs crossed. Now I'm a pretty big heavy guy, so I was like "That's uncomfortable as fuck, I'm not doing that". So there I was standing in the tube, having a panic attack from anticipation, with my legs not crossed. The operator finally presses the button, the bottom opens and I fall straight down the water slide. Very quickly I realized why they have you cross your legs. Water shot so far up my ass, so fast, I swear I tasted it in my mouth. My body raced down that slide, as I questioned every life choice that I have ever made.
Once I made it to the bottom, I sat there for a moment, absolutely violated. I felt like someone in an episode of Law & Order: Special Victims Unit. I built up the courage to finally stand up, and all I could feel was the nice warm stream of water mixed with shit, and maybe a little bit of blood shoot out of my ass faster than the Steamboat Geyser at Yellowstone National Park. I quickly got off the slide and ran to the bathroom, with a trail of shitty water tailing me as the slide operator stared in awe. They had to shut down the slide for the rest of the day :'), but man was my asshole clean after that!
Moral of the story: Keep your damn legs crossed on waterslides.
Classic
Be the better man and stop the spam
twitchquotes:
I don't understand all these spammer hooligans. Its as if the pinnacle of human innovation has resulted in the creation of these inbred spammers with nothing better to do in their life other than copy and paste what the person above them wrote. Whats worse is the people using scripts to spam. Be the better man and stop the spam. Thanks.
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Kripp
Gulugulu in your stomach
twitchquotes:
Doโ not ๐ฐ eat ๐ fish ๐ after ๐ถ u ๐ฏ drink water ๐บ bc ๐ฐ it can ๐ป swim in ๐ ur stomach ๐ฎ and u will ๐ฒ feel ๐ gulugulu in ur stomach ๐๐ณ๐ผ
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Emoji Pasta
Don't talk in the chat unless you're classed as high sr
twitchquotes:
Don't talk in the chat unless you're classed as high sr (2000+) 
keep chat high quality
keep chat high quality
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OverwatchLeague
Overwatch
Liberty Mutual Auto Insurance
twitchquotes:
๐ถYou owned a car ๐๐ for 4โฐ๐
yearsโฐ๐. You๐ถ named it๐ฑ Brad๐ฑ. You๐โค๐ loved๐Brad๐๐. And then you๐ถโ totaledโ ๐ง๐๐ him๐ฆ. You two ๐๐had been through everything ๐ฌtogether๐ญ. ๐ฌ2 boyfriends๐ฌ, ๐จ๐ง3 jobs๐ซ,โ nothing โcould replace๐ฑ Brad๐๐. Then Liberty Mutual๐๐๐ calls, and you break into your ๐happy๐ ๐dance๐๐๐.
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