[Copypasta] Leave the competition to the the competitors

twitchquotes: WHY in the FUCK do you PLEBS roll in here and think you can backseat game the GREAT [insert streamer name]. He is a god who floats in your sea of wrong on his ship of right. His plays are FLAWLESS and every loss he takes is pure, unadultared, rng, bullshit. Get your tiny minds out of here and go watch something more casual!! Leave the competition to the the competitors. [insert streamer name] god has essential work to do.
twitch chat
April 2020
I used to be a real ad
More Copypastas

GME bank consultation

Short story-time for amusement reasons only: some days ago, I went to my bank (Austria). I am the owner of quite a number of GME shares and my broker app is actually just the bank-intern bond trading app, where I need to pay transactional feed everytime I buy (what is sell?) GME shares. I informed myself about the reasoning of those transactional fees beforehand and found out that by paying them, I have the right of consultation by my bank about the shares theyβ€˜re trading/Iβ€˜m buying. So, I went to the main national building of my bank, they were really friendly at the beginning, enthustiatically, I mentioned GME to them and that I wish for professional consultation about the financial details involved with that stock (I am not a financial guy, actually, I donβ€˜t exactly know whatβ€˜s going on, itβ€˜s all pretty crazy to me). Suddenly, their posture and mimick changed pretty suddenly. I was told, they are not allowed to consult about GME. To my question, why this was the case, they told me, because GME is β€žtoo irrelevant for the big stock marketβ€œ. They are β€žaware of the past short squeeze, but one should no longer focus on GMEβ€œ. They acted as if GME was some β€žchildish financial playgroundβ€œ that should be forgotten about. When I confronted them with the huge recent naked short attacks and if they could explain to me possible effects of them if they were not covered, they just repeated themselves how β€žGME is not relevant, please focus on stocks like Apple or Amazon to be safeβ€œ. I left the bank, buying more GME shares.
April 2021

WallStreetBets

BibleThump

β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–„β–„β–€β–€β–€β–€β–€β–€β–„β–„β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘ β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–„β–€β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–€β–„β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘ β–‘β–‘β–‘β–„β–€β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–€β–„β–‘β–‘β–‘ β–‘β–‘β–„β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–„β–‘β–‘ β–‘β–„β–‘β–‘β–‘β–„β–„β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–„β–„β–‘β–‘β–‘β–„β–‘ β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–Œβ–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–β–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘ β–‘β–Œβ–‘β–‘β–€β–ˆβ–ˆβ–€β–‘β–„β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–„β–‘β–’β–€β–ˆβ–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–β–‘ β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–’β–’β–’β–’β–‘β–ˆβ–„β–„β–„β–„β–ˆβ–‘β–’β–’β–’β–’β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘ β–‘β–€β–‘β–‘β–’β–’β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–’β–’β–’β–‘β–‘β–€β–‘β–‘ β–‘β–‘β–€β–„β–‘β–’β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–’β–’β–‘β–„β–€β–‘β–‘β–‘ β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–€β–„β–’β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–’β–‘β–„β–€β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘ β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–€β–€β–€β–€β–€β–€β–€β–€β–€β–€β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘
November 2014

Don't use the "F word" on the trade floor

Just heard an employee use the β€œF word” on the trade floor, and immediately fired them. Maybe other funds will tolerate that kind of language, but don’t you dare talk about Fundamentals here.
January 2021

WallStreetBets

This gentleman's deck is ABSURD!

twitchquotes: β˜‘ β€œThis gentleman's deck is ABSURD!” β˜‘ β€œMy deck cannot hope to prevail against a deck of that caliber” β˜‘ "He REQUIRED those two cards in subsequent order to succeed" β˜‘ β€œHe extracted from his deck the only cards capable of defeating me” β˜‘ "His cards defied logic" β˜‘ β€œThere was no manoeuvre at my disposal to secure victory” β˜‘ β€œI played impeccably”
twitch chat
October 2014

Hearthstone

This Copypasta Is CRAZY!

Reddit Snoo sucking

⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⒀⠀⠀⠄⑀⠀⠀⠀⒀⣠⣀⣄⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β‘†β €β €β €β ˆβ£„β£ β Άβ ‹β β €β‘Ώβ €β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β € ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠐⒄⑀⒀①⠋⠀⠀⠀⠀⣸⠃⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⑀⠄⠒⠒⒂⑄⠀⠀⠀⠐⠧⠀⑀⠀⒀⣀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β‘Œβ €β €β‘ β Šβ β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β ‰β €β €β €β β ’β‘€β €β € β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β‘€β’ β Šβ €β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β’‘β €β € β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β ±β ƒβ’€β£€β£€β‘„β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β‘ˆβ €β € ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⒠⠃⠀Ⓒ⣿⣿⑇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⒀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀①⠁⠀⠀ β €β €β €β €β €β €β’Έβ €β  β ˆβ ›β ‹β €β €β €β β Šβ ©β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β‘ˆβ €β €β €β € β €β €β €β €β €β €β ˜β’„β €β €β’€β£ β£Άβ£„β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β  β β €β €β €β € β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β ˆβ’³β£Ύβ£Ώβ£Ώβ£Ώβ£Ώβ €β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β£€β ”β β €β €β €β €β € β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β‘ β Όβ£Ώβ£Ώβ£Ώβ£Ώβ£Ÿβ ’β ’β ’β ’β ’β‘–β ‚β ‰β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β € β €β €β €β €β €β €β’Žβ’€β£ β£Ώβ£Ώβ Ÿβ ‰β  β’€β €β‘ β €β’€β β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β € β €β €β €β €β €β €β’»β£Ώβ£Ώβ£Ώβ‘Ώβ’„β €β €β €β ‘β …β €β Œβ €β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β € β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β ‰β ‰β ‰β €β €β ‘β €β „β €β  β Šβ €β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β €
January 2022

Reddit

NSFW

Text-to-Speech Playing