[Copypasta] JPOW was casually eating dinner

twitchquotes: JPOW was casually eating dinner with his wife and kids for Mother’s Day.. opened his investing.com app.. saw futures were red.. stopped mid dinner and folded his napkin.. headed to the basement.. fired up his money printers.. all why murming I’ll get these bears.. his wife yelled down and asked if he wanted dessert.. he didn’t even answer (and he loves dessert)
twitch chat
May 2020
I used to be a real ad
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Hi Kripp, this is OJ, your long lost brother

twitchquotes: ʜɪ ᴋʀɪᴘᴘ, ᴛʜɪs ɪs ᴏᴊ, ʏᴏᴜʀ ʟᴏɴɢ ʟᴏsᴛ ʙʀᴏᴛʜᴇʀ. ɪ ғᴏᴜɴᴅ ʏᴏᴜ ᴠɪᴀ ᴘᴏʀɴʜᴜʙ ᴀɴᴅ ɪ ᴡᴏᴜʟᴅ ʟᴏᴠᴇ ᴛᴏ ɢᴇᴛ ɪɴ ᴄᴏɴᴛᴀᴄᴛ ᴡɪᴛʜ ʏᴏᴜ ᴀɢᴀɪɴ ᴀɴᴅ ɢɪᴠᴇ ᴘᴀᴘᴘᴀʀɪᴀɴ ᴀ ʜᴜɢ. ᴘʟᴇᴀsᴇ ʟᴇᴛs ʙᴏɴᴅ ᴀɴᴅ ᴡᴀᴛᴄʜ ᴘᴏʀɴ ᴛᴏɢᴇᴛʜᴇʀ ᴀᴛ ᴛʜᴇ ᴘᴏʀɴʜᴜʙs, ɪ ʜᴇᴀʀᴅ ʏᴏᴜ ᴡᴇʀᴇ sᴛᴀʀʀɪɴɢ ᴏɴᴇ... ᴘʟᴇᴀsᴇ ʀᴇᴘʟʏ ᴀsᴀᴘ ᴏᴄᴛᴀᴠɪᴀɴ, ʏᴏᴜʀ ʟᴏᴠɪɴɢ ʙʀᴏᴛʜᴇʀ - ᴏᴊ.
twitch chat
April 2014
Kripp

Anime girl 7

⢰⡟⣡⡟⣱⣿⡿⠡⢛⣋⣥⣴⣌⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣌⠻⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⠏⢼⡿⣰⡿⠿⠡⠿⠿⢯⣉⠿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣶⣿⣦⣍⠻⢿⣿⣿⣿ ⣼⣷⢠⠀⠀⢠⣴⡖⠀⠀⠈⠻⣿⡿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣛⣯⣝⣻⣿⣶⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⡇⣿⡷⠂⠈⡉⠀⠀⠀⣠⣴⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣍⡤⣤⣤⣤⡀⠀⠉⠛⠿ ⣿⢸⣿⡅⣠⣬⣥⣤⣴⣴⣿⣿⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣟⡭⡄⣀⣉⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⡟⣿⣿⢰⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣶⣦⣈⠀⠀⠀⢀⣶ ⡧⣿⡇⣼⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣶⣶⣾⣿ ⡇⣿⠃⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠛⠛⢫⣿⣿⣻⣻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⢿⣿ ⡇⣿⠘⡇⢻⣿⣿⣿⡆⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⠉⠙⠻⠏⠛⠻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣭⡾⢁ ⡇⣿⠀⠘⢿⣿⣿⣿⣧⢠⣤⠀⡤⢀⣠⣀⣀⠀⠀⣼⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠟⣁⠉ ⣧⢻⠀⡄⠀⠹⣿⣿⣿⡸⣿⣾⡆⣿⣿⣿⠿⣡⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠋⠐⢡⣶ ⣿⡘⠈⣷⠀⠀⠈⠻⣿⣷⣎⠐⠿⢟⣋⣤⣾⣿⣿⣿⡿⠟⣩⠖⢠⡬⠈⠀ ⣿⣧⠁⢻⡇⠀⠀⠀⠈⠻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠿⠟⠋⠁⢀⠈⢀⡴⠈⠁⠀⠀ ⠻⣿⣆⠘⣿⠀⠀⣀⡁⠀⠈⠙⠛⠋⠉⠀⠀⠀⠀⡀⠤⠚⠁⠄⣠
ascii art
April 2019

Weebs

Spending New years eve on twitch BibleeThump

twitchquotes: No job ✔ BibleThump Mom's house ✔ BibleThump No talents ✔ BibleThump No gf ✔ BibleThump No friends ✔ BibleThump No midnight kiss ✔ BibleThump Spending New years eve on twitch ✔ BibleThump Must be us BibleThump
twitch chat
January 2017

I hope your sub's $5 are in Zimbabwean currency

twitchquotes: Wow, Kripp, I was really impressed by how you drew adequate cards and played them in the same ball-numbing, drone-like motions you always do. I hope your sub's $5 are in Zimbabwean currency. ( ° ͜ʖ͡°)╭∩╮
twitch chat
November 2014
Kripp

You will never be an anime girl

You will never be an anime girl. You have no ancestry, you have no weebship, you have no skills that would make neon Tokyo ever want you. You are a shut-in self-hating nerdy man twisted by delusions of mythical Katana superiority and exposure to media folded over 3000 times into a disgusting mockery of metalworkings perfection. All 'validation' you get from other people in this position couldn't be worse in making you believe that spending years of your life learning a the globally useless talents of Uwudo and Iya-giri to a 中二 level was a worthwhile 使い方 of お前's time, but one can't expect that an individual as 羞耻 as テメ will ever know the value of the 仲間 you threw away in doing that. Actual Sasukes are すごい キモい by you. Thousands of years of 自然進化 have allowed 侍 to identify 偽物語 from mannerisms and 言語力 alone. Even if your written text of self-hatred and attention begging akin to a 野良犬 somehow passes as normal (しないよ、ど阿呆), any Soul Eater person will immediately 両断　all 迷い　when they 聞く the 声 and 広島-ben of someone who is not only a basic 下忍 at best, but worth no more than ゴミカス in skills, accomplishments, and no ワイフ yes フレンド. You will never be 幸せおちゃめ機能。 You wrench out a 偽笑い and ｗｗｗ草 to yourself believing that watching a content creator that you understand 20% of at best is somehow superior than watching your own 船長, as you project your disgusting traits onto your 委員長. However, deep inside you feel the 不安 creeping up like a 桜, ready to crush you under the バスト2三一　Zz　ガンダム, and you know that. You know that all you do now is have an entirely new リスナー in which to be 無視, and not even the exotic trait of being　海外ニッキ makes up for just how uninteresting of a 無言赤スパ you are. Eventually it’ll be too much to bear - you’ll buy a rope, tie a noose, put it around your neck, and plunge into the cold はあちゃま. Your ママ will find you, heartbroken but relieved that they no longer have to live with the unbearable　恥ざらし and ゴミカス死ね. They’ll bury you with a 妖怪 marked with your 領域展開, and every 上弦の鬼 for the rest of eternity will know a 黒船 is buried there. Your body will decay and go back to the dust, and all that will remain of your legacy is a ギルザレン that is 語り部幽霊. This is your 運命. This is what you chose. There is no turning back. 憎い yourself and 謝れ for being リア充 to some Virtual entity that exists only in your mind while actual people put in effort to learn English for the valid reason of it being the global language.
April 2021
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