[Copypasta] JPOW was casually eating dinner

twitchquotes: JPOW was casually eating dinner with his wife and kids for Mother’s Day.. opened his investing.com app.. saw futures were red.. stopped mid dinner and folded his napkin.. headed to the basement.. fired up his money printers.. all why murming I’ll get these bears.. his wife yelled down and asked if he wanted dessert.. he didn’t even answer (and he loves dessert)
twitch chat
May 2020
What happened to this ad? :(
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Hi my nam is Rebuken from Yugoslavia

twitchquotes: Hi my nam is Rebuken Im Challenged 5 in yugoslavic server 550 ping. You big insperatino to me and wish we can trio duo queueue so we be the best league of llemons team in america. I has green car to go to america and i barely speako englisho. this is transalte from gaagle pro. Byes XOXO, kiss love. :D
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I'm TimThePlatMan, and this is my ELO

twitchquotes: I'm TimThePlatMan, and this is my ELO. I boost it with my old man lassiz, and my son, Big moon. Every game I play has throws and tilt. One thing I've learned after 21 years - you never know how I'll throw this game.
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My idiot boyfriend spent my college fund on dog coins how do I get it back???

He talked me into spending the $8500 I have on dog coins because something was supposed to happen yesterday which would have given us more money?? but it didn't actually happen or got canceled or something I don't really know or understand how it works but I went to the dog coin site to withdraw my money and there is only about $6700 of it there, where is the rest of it? I tried looking at the faq but don't really get it
February 2021

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Kripp fills me completely with value

twitchquotes: I stayed up all night, dreaming of this moment. My pulse is racing. Discarded salt packets and OJ cartons are strewn across the filthy bedroom floor. "Oh look it's another sub," says the Kripp. I am now fully erect. "Welcome to the five dollar club, bro" I barely hear as a single tear runs down my cheek while Kripp's fist fills me completely with value.
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Kripp

When Kripp plays Reno warrior...

twitchquotes: Captain's log, entry 69, stardate 420. It has been 9001 days since the SS Kripp first entered into this game of hearthstone, and still there appears to be no signs of release, no way out. I fear for the lives of myself and my crew, we may all pass of old age before we are freed from this particular game.
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November 2015
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Text-to-Speech Playing