[Copypasta] JPOW was casually eating dinner

twitchquotes: JPOW was casually eating dinner with his wife and kids for Motherโ€™s Day.. opened his investing.com app.. saw futures were red.. stopped mid dinner and folded his napkin.. headed to the basement.. fired up his money printers.. all why murming Iโ€™ll get these bears.. his wife yelled down and asked if he wanted dessert.. he didnโ€™t even answer (and he loves dessert)
twitch chat
May 2020
I used to be a real ad
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FREEDOM เญงเผผเฒ ็›Šเฒ โ•ญโˆฉโ•ฎเผฝ SUBS

twitchquotes: FREEDOM เญงเผผเฒ ็›Šเฒ โ•ญโˆฉโ•ฎเผฝ SUBS
twitch chat
March 2016

plebs vs subs

So you start reading a copy pasta...

twitchquotes: So you start reading a copy pasta... wondering when it will get good. It's a large wall of text, there must be something of substance somewhere in here, right? You scroll up to stop the chat elevator so you can finish reading it. But then you realize... It's just a waste of your time. It's just a large wall of text that is completely useless. It's a waste of everyone's time... Regardless, you highlight the text, Ctrl+C, Ctrl+V and hit Enter...
twitch chat
November 2016

This streamer loves COCK

THIS STREAMER LOVES โ–‘โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ•—โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ•—โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ•—โ–‘โ–ˆโ–ˆโ•—โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–ˆโ•— โ–ˆโ–ˆโ•”โ•โ•โ–ˆโ–ˆโ•—โ–ˆโ–ˆโ•”โ•โ•โ–ˆโ–ˆโ•—โ–ˆโ–ˆโ•”โ•โ•โ–ˆโ–ˆโ•—โ–ˆโ–ˆโ•‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–ˆโ•”โ• โ–ˆโ–ˆโ•‘โ–‘โ–‘โ•šโ•โ•โ–ˆโ–ˆโ•‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–ˆโ•‘โ–ˆโ–ˆโ•‘โ–‘โ–‘โ•šโ•โ•โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ•โ•โ–‘ โ–ˆโ–ˆโ•‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–ˆโ•—โ–ˆโ–ˆโ•‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–ˆโ•‘โ–ˆโ–ˆโ•‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–ˆโ•—โ–ˆโ–ˆโ•”โ•โ–ˆโ–ˆโ•—โ–‘ โ•šโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ•”โ•โ•šโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ•”โ•โ•šโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ•”โ•โ–ˆโ–ˆโ•‘โ–‘โ•šโ–ˆโ–ˆโ•— โ–‘โ•šโ•โ•โ•โ•โ•โ–‘โ–‘โ•šโ•โ•โ•โ•โ•โ–‘โ–‘โ•šโ•โ•โ•โ•โ•โ–‘โ•šโ•โ•โ–‘โ–‘โ•šโ•โ•
ascii art
February 2021

I used to work at an abortion clinic

I used to work at an abortion clinic and I saw some extremely fucked up shit there which is why I'm so anti-abortion now. This is just SOME of the horrible stuff I personally witnessed: โ€ข โ A 23 year old woman came in 11 months into her pregnancy and said "I don't want my stupid baby anymore, kill it" and the doctor said "okay" and he put jumper cables up her baby hole and connected them to a car battery and let it run for six days straight โ€ข โ A little 8-year old girl wandered in and said "I want an abortion but I am not pregnant" and the doctor said "we'll fix that" and he stole a baby and cut the girl open and put the baby inside her and sewed her shut and then woke the girl up and said "congratulations it's a healthy six year old boy" and the girl said "can I keep him" and the doctor said no and then backed over her in the parking lot with his brand new Ford Raptor โ€ข โ They made me sign an agreement promising to stop drinking from the medical waste container (I signed somebody else's name) โ€ข โ One of the doctors there developed a futuristic ray gun that could make anything he shot have an abortion, even trees, cars, or barns โ€ข โ The receptionist threw nail polish at an elderly man โ€ข โ The doctor's assistant invented this thing she called "the silly slide" and it was a really fun little water slide that connected a woman's vagina to a paper shredder so a newborn baby could briefly "enjoy the high life" โ€ข โ The oldest child we aborted was in his late 70s, we didn't even know he was a baby until his wife brought in photos โ€ข โ The doctors put all sorts of crap up a woman's uterus including a clown nose, bicycle handlebars, a calendar, and an entire Sears retail outlet (before bankruptcy) โ€ข โ During every successful abortion, the doctor would shout "take that, baby" and he'd push a red button that made sirens go off and confetti fell from the ceiling and we'd all get Del Taco for free
August 2021

NSFW

have you ever had a dream like this?

have you ๐Ÿ‘‰๐Ÿฟ ever ๐Ÿ˜  had a dreams ๐Ÿ˜ด๐Ÿ’ญ- thats โœ”- that you ๐Ÿ‘‰๐Ÿป๐Ÿ‘ค uhm ๐Ÿ˜ค you ๐Ÿ‘ˆ had you ๐Ÿ‘ˆ- you ๐Ÿ‘ˆ could- you ๐Ÿ‘ˆ do what you ๐Ÿ‘‰ want ๐Ÿ˜- you ๐Ÿ‘ˆ could do- so you ๐Ÿ‘ˆ๐Ÿ‘ฆ- you ๐Ÿ‘ˆ do- you ๐Ÿ‘ˆ could do you ๐Ÿค–๐Ÿ‘ˆ- you ๐Ÿ‘ธ๐Ÿ‘‰ wan ๐Ÿ”‘- you ๐Ÿ‘ธ๐Ÿ‘‰ want ๐Ÿ˜‹ him ๐Ÿ‘ด to do so much ๐Ÿ”ฅ that you ๐Ÿ‘‰ could do anything ๐Ÿ’ฐ?
April 2021

Emoji Pasta

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