[Copypasta] Competitive Super Smash Bros Melee has reached its zenith

twitchquotes: The year is 20XX. Competitive Super Smash Bros Melee has reached its zenith. No longer are matches decided through complex inputs and tactics. It began when some questioned the idea of matchups against characters. The community realized that gameplay no longer mattered, and only the character. Tournaments became complex games of rock-paper-scissors, and eventually another epiphany was had. Why bother with deciding afterwards and wasting time when the match could be decided before it began? Thus, referees decided who won and who lost automatically using a combination of facial recognition AI, mandatory reflex tests, and standardized quizzes and tests on military tactics and stratagem. With time, tests weren't even needed. Judges became so acute at deciding who won and who lost that tournaments happened in seconds, and results uploaded in less. The final destination was reached. Babies were bred and engineered to become the most desirable "players", if one could call it that. Soon, humanity ceased to think, and became mindless slaves to the autonomous ones and zeroes that decided their worth, ironically becoming the machines they once played with.
twitch chat
May 2020

Super Smash Bros

I used to be a real ad
More Super Smash Bros Copypastas

Why did you pick Hero at EVO?

twitchquotes: Nairo, it's been weeks since EVO and I still don't understand why you didn't choose Hero and win the whole thing. It'll be a matter of time before we follow Australia's example and ban him, and you'll be sorry you didn't use his banworthy strength when you could. Also can you use Ganondorf again, he's rlly strong. Sorry for long message, but you should consider my advice. Good luck Nairo!
twitch chat
August 2019
NairoMK

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This ZeRo guy seems pretty good

twitchquotes: This ZeRo guy seems pretty good. He could be a top player in a few months or maybe even #1.๏ปฟ
twitch chat
January 2019

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Smash bros with the bros

twitchquotes: Dude this reminds me of this one time me and the bros were just hanging out like five of us and we all got pizza, and we were actually playing some smash too but there were five of us and so we played that game where whoever loses has to switch out with the guy who's not playing and the loser has to blow the guy who won until the next game is up, but not like in a gay way, more in just like some added stakes to win the game, but it was pretty fun tbh so I could see how being gay wouldn't be that bad at the end of the day.
twitch chat
September 2020

KappaPride

Super Smash Bros

SPAM THIS BREAD TO HELP BALD HEAD

twitchquotes: SPAM ๐Ÿฅ– THIS ๐Ÿฅ– BREAD ๐Ÿฅ– TO ๐Ÿฅ– HELP ๐Ÿฅ– BALD ๐Ÿฅ– HEAD ๐Ÿฅ–
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pgESAM

Rhyme Chant

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Please dont talk about melee in an ultimate chat ๐Ÿ˜ก

twitchquotes: honestly melee is dead, it has been since smash 4. Please dont talk about melee in a smash ultimate chat. ๐Ÿ˜ก
twitch chat
April 2019

Super Smash Bros

Text-to-Speech Playing