[Copypasta] Competitive Super Smash Bros Melee has reached its zenith

twitchquotes: The year is 20XX. Competitive Super Smash Bros Melee has reached its zenith. No longer are matches decided through complex inputs and tactics. It began when some questioned the idea of matchups against characters. The community realized that gameplay no longer mattered, and only the character. Tournaments became complex games of rock-paper-scissors, and eventually another epiphany was had. Why bother with deciding afterwards and wasting time when the match could be decided before it began? Thus, referees decided who won and who lost automatically using a combination of facial recognition AI, mandatory reflex tests, and standardized quizzes and tests on military tactics and stratagem. With time, tests weren't even needed. Judges became so acute at deciding who won and who lost that tournaments happened in seconds, and results uploaded in less. The final destination was reached. Babies were bred and engineered to become the most desirable "players", if one could call it that. Soon, humanity ceased to think, and became mindless slaves to the autonomous ones and zeroes that decided their worth, ironically becoming the machines they once played with.
twitch chat
May 2020

Super Smash Bros

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More Super Smash Bros Copypastas

Pecan ice and pecan butter

twitchquotes: do yall remember those two little white boy in super smash bros brawl who would scream pecan ice and pecan butter or whatever it was they were yelling? I hated them so much they used to get me in so much trouble when I would stay up late and play nintendo because no matter how low the volume on the damn tv was my mom would hear their shill *** voices going PECAN ICE PECAN BUTTER from all the way down the hall in her room and tell me to go to bed I will never forgive them
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February 2017

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This ZeRo guy seems pretty good

twitchquotes: This ZeRo guy seems pretty good. He could be a top player in a few months or maybe even #1.ο»Ώ
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January 2019

Super Smash Bros

Kirby is the best character Ultimate has to offer

twitchquotes: Honestly? If you think about it, Kirby is the best character Ultimate has to offer. D-tilt trips even at high %, his specials allow for mind games and early kills, the list goes on. While a top tier character, he requires the player to have a diverse skill set and deep understanding of the game to play. He’s an underplayed, underappreciated gem of the smash roster but unfortunately, I think that less competent players like Nairo have a long way to go before utilizing him with his full potential.
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September 2019
NairoMK

Super Smash Bros

SPAM THIS CRUSTACEAN FOR HBOX ELIMINATION

twitchquotes: SPAM πŸ¦€ THIS πŸ¦€ CRUSTACEAN πŸ¦€ FOR πŸ¦€ HBOX πŸ¦€ ELIMINATION πŸ¦€
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June 2019

Rhyme Chant

Super Smash Bros

what a underwhelming genesis

twitchquotes: time to say goodbye to my favorite game, what a underwhelming genesis. i hate to be that salty kid but hbox legit ruins it all. imagine how much bigger and better this game would be if he just played ulti. you guys can have him lol
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February 2019
VGBootCamp

Super Smash Bros

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