[Copypasta] Competitive Super Smash Bros Melee has reached its zenith

twitchquotes: The year is 20XX. Competitive Super Smash Bros Melee has reached its zenith. No longer are matches decided through complex inputs and tactics. It began when some questioned the idea of matchups against characters. The community realized that gameplay no longer mattered, and only the character. Tournaments became complex games of rock-paper-scissors, and eventually another epiphany was had. Why bother with deciding afterwards and wasting time when the match could be decided before it began? Thus, referees decided who won and who lost automatically using a combination of facial recognition AI, mandatory reflex tests, and standardized quizzes and tests on military tactics and stratagem. With time, tests weren't even needed. Judges became so acute at deciding who won and who lost that tournaments happened in seconds, and results uploaded in less. The final destination was reached. Babies were bred and engineered to become the most desirable "players", if one could call it that. Soon, humanity ceased to think, and became mindless slaves to the autonomous ones and zeroes that decided their worth, ironically becoming the machines they once played with.
twitch chat
May 2020

Super Smash Bros

What happened to this ad? :(
More Super Smash Bros Copypastas

Program and Control Man

twitchquotes: We are all living in Pac-Man’s world. You know what Pac stands for? P.A.C Program and Control. He’s program and Control Man. The whole thing’s a metaphor. All he can do is consume. He’s pursued by demons that are probably just in his own mind.
twitch chat
March 2019

Super Smash Bros

Please dont talk about melee in an ultimate chat 😡

twitchquotes: honestly melee is dead, it has been since smash 4. Please dont talk about melee in a smash ultimate chat. 😡
twitch chat
April 2019

Super Smash Bros

First time I got smash 4 and tried it

twitchquotes: First time I got smash 4 and tried it, after having played Fox-only on Final Destination for years in Melee, I was so disappointed. I couldn't Doowop an Skippity Uppity Airslap into a Wavedashed Cockdump Sparklenut. You aren't even allowed to Spitshine a ledge canceled Dickknob after twirlywhirly dibbidybobbidyboo 2: Electric Boogaloo. Fucking inexcusable. I really hope Sakurai dies so the series can see its full potential.
twitch chat
November 2018

Super Smash Bros

You can keep your statistics. I prefer the magic

twitchquotes: Alex19 isn't so great? Are you kidding me? When was the last time you saw a player with such an ability and movement with fox? Alex puts the game in another level, and we will be blessed if we ever see a player with his skill and passion for the game again. mang0 breaks records. Armada breaks records. Alex19 breaks the rules. You can keep your statistics. I prefer the magic.
twitch chat
October 2016

Super Smash Bros

SPAM THIS CRUSTACEAN FOR HBOX ELIMINATION

twitchquotes: SPAM 🦀 THIS 🦀 CRUSTACEAN 🦀 FOR 🦀 HBOX 🦀 ELIMINATION 🦀
twitch chat
June 2019

Rhyme Chant

Super Smash Bros

Text-to-Speech Playing