[Copypasta] This is my son Nestor

twitchquotes: For all those wondering, this is my son Nestor. We share no blood but he is my life. He came from Cuba (legally, of course) six years ago and lives with me in Florida. I am so proud of him and raising him has been the best, most rewarding thing I’ve done in my life.
twitch chat
June 2020
https://www.rollcall.com/2020/06/18/matt-gaetz-and-the-until-now-unknown-adopted-son-from-cuba/
I used to be a real ad
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"Based"? Are "Based"? Are you fucking kidding me?

"Based"? Are you fucking kidding me? I spent a decent portion of my life writing all of that and your response to me is "Based"? Are you so mentally handicapped that the only word you can comprehend is "Based" - or are you just some fucking asshole who thinks that with such a short response, he can make a statement about how meaningless what was written was? Well, I'll have you know that what I wrote was NOT meaningless, in fact, I even had my written work proof-read by several professors of literature. Don't believe me? I doubt you would, and your response to this will probably be "Based" once again. Do I give a fuck? No, does it look like I give even the slightest fuck about five fucking letters? I bet you took the time to type those five letters too, I bet you sat there and chuckled to yourself for 20 hearty seconds before pressing "send". You're so fucking pathetic. I'm honestly considering directing you to a psychiatrist, but I'm simply far too nice to do something like that. You, however, will go out of your way to make a fool out of someone by responding to a well-thought-out, intelligent, or humorous statement that probably took longer to write than you can last in bed with a chimpanzee. What do I have to say to you? Absolutely nothing. I couldn't be bothered to respond to such a worthless attempt at a response. Do you want "Based" on your gravestone?
August 2021

Based

Classic

Dear Michael: This is the Meta Police

twitchquotes: Dear Michael: This is the Meta Police. You are in violation of Penal Code 420: Not Playing The Meta. You are hereby sentenced to 69 years in jail with Scarra and Dyrone.
twitch chat
October 2014
imaqtpie

Fortnite default dance 1

⠀⠀⠀⠀⣀⣤ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⣿⠿⣶ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⣿⣿⣀ ⠀⠀⠀⣶⣶⣿⠿⠛⣶ ⠤⣀⠛⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣭⣿⣤ ⠒⠀⠀⠀⠉⣿⣿⣿⣿⠀⠀⠉⣀ ⠀⠤⣤⣤⣀⣿⣿⣿⣿⣀⠀⠀⣿ ⠀⠀⠛⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣭⣶⠉ ⠀⠀⠀⠤⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⠀⠀⠀⣭⣿⣿⣿⠀⣿⣿⣿ ⠀⠀⠀⣉⣿⣿⠿⠀⠿⣿⣿ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⣿⣿⠀⠀⠀⣿⣿⣤ ⠀⠀⠀⣀⣿⣿⠀⠀⠀⣿⣿⣿ ⠀⠀⠀⣿⣿⣿⠀⠀⠀⣿⣿⣿ ⠀⠀⠀⣿⣿⠛⠀⠀⠀⠉⣿⣿ ⠀⠀⠀⠉⣿⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠛⣿ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⣿⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣿⣿ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⣛⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠛⠿⠿⠿ ⠀⠀⠀⠛⠛
ascii art
November 2018

Fortnite Default Dance

Fortnite

I put sushi in my husband’s butthole while he was asleep

He was sleeping soundly naked, and I was eating leftover sushi. I couldn't help myself. I spread open his cheeks ever so softly, and tucked a slice of Philly roll right next to his puckered asshole. He did not wake up. When he awoke several hours later, he thought he had shit himself. I managed to video him discovering it was in his asshole, and I cannot stop watching him dig salmon, cream cheese, and rice out of his butthole. I also cannot stop laughing. I needed to tell someone.
May 2022

Dog food lid

twitchquotes: Hello everyone! I'm entering streams to say something random! Did you know "dog food lid" backwards is "dildo of god"? Good bye everyone!
twitch chat
October 2014
imaqtpie
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