[Copypasta] The LGBTQ future

twitchquotes: The year is 2040. The LGBTQ party has taken over the whole world. Being heterosexual is illegal. At age 14, everyone is forced by law to change to another one of the 666 different genders. The last gamers hide in the sewers, eating rats and enjoying decade-old videogames; the last ones without identity politics woven directly in the code. Their last hope: leaving edgy comments in reviews on Steam.
twitch chat
July 2020
I used to be a real ad
More Copypastas

Hello Michael Santana, this is your local tax officer

twitchquotes: Hello Michael Santana, this is your local tax officer. Your last reply as to why you haven't paid your taxes is unnacceptable. "I'll check it out later" and "You know how I get down" are NOT valid excuses. We are sending our men over RIGHT NOW to start repossessing your house.
twitch chat
November 2016
imaqtpie

Goku drip

⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠰⣤⣤⢀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣀⣀⣀⠀⠀⢿⣿⣦⠈⢄⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⠻⣿⣶⣦⣍⠐⢼⣿⣿⣧⠈⡄⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⢿⣿⣿⣷⣄⣿⣿⣿⣦⣴⣦⣀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⢠⣄⣒⣚⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡧⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠰⠿⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡧⣤⣤⣤⣄⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠉⠻⢿⣿⣿⣿⡽⣿⠟⢃⣿⠟⡉⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠿⠛⠉⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠠⠶⢯⣭⣿⢹⡟⢶⣗⠀⢸⠇⢁⣠⠫⠟⣹⣿⣯⡭⠶⠂⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⢙⣄⠣⠁⠈⠓⠊⠐⠃⠀⠀⣰⣿⣏⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠉⢉⣽⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣿⣯⠉⠉⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣠⣿⣿⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣿⣿⣷⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣴⣾⣿⣿⣿⣷⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢠⣿⣿⣿⣷⣦⣄⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣰⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣶⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣦⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⠘⢛⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠿⠿⢿⣿⣿⣿⠗⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣧⣀⡀⠶⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣏⣠⣀⣀⣿⡿⠃⢢⣠⡆⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢸⠿⣿⡿⣷⡿⠿⣿⢿⡿⠩⢹⣿⡟⠉⠉⠉⢹⣿⢻⠛⠛⠻⢿⣿⣷⣿⣿⠉⠟⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⡾⢶⣿⣦⣿⣷⡇⢁⠚⡇⠐⢀⣿⣷⣤⣤⣤⣿⣧⣀⣠⣇⡰⢀⡿⣿⣿⣷⣾⣶⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢰⣵⡎⠹⣿⣿⣿⣁⣾⢻⣿⢻⣟⣩⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣥⣾⣿⡿⠛⠛⢛⡟⢇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣾⣿⣞⣰⠞⣩⣿⣻⡇⢠⠃⠸⠉⠙⣿⣿⣿⣿⢈⡁⠤⠁⠌⢉⢙⣿⣐⣧⣤⣾⢇⢸⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢹⡿⢿⢋⡍⢇⠛⣿⣧⣼⣦⣴⣔⣠⣿⣿⣿⣯⣦⣤⣦⣤⣦⣄⣸⡻⢛⠋⠉⠻⠿⡇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⡰⠀⣆⣷⣴⣶⠿⣿⡿⣿⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⢿⡿⢿⣿⢉⠉⣿⣿⣷⣾⣤⣭⡁⠂⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢱⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⠐⣉⣌⠇⠐⠁⡄⣿⣿⣿⠈⡠⢾⡇⠠⠠⣼⣽⡟⢣⠄⣹⣿⡖⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢿⣉⠁⣿⣷⣿⡟⢿⡵⣾⣶⣦⣿⣿⣿⣴⣷⣾⣷⠖⡴⠿⣿⣿⠷⠚⢛⡻⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⢿⣆⣿⣿⣿⣧⠐⡅⢘⠃⣿⣿⣿⣟⠿⡿⣿⣧⣈⠴⢃⠘⣻⣿⣿⡟⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢰⢻⣿⠃⢸⣿⣶⣿⡿⡟⢉⣿⢿⣻⣼⣧⠂⠛⢿⣷⣟⣀⣥⡼⠋⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣾⣏⡙⣿⣾⣿⣿⠿⢄⠉⣸⡿⠁⠉⠉⠟⢬⢛⢚⠻⣿⣿⠛⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣿⣷⣦⣅⣙⣿⣧⣮⣬⣽⡟⠀⠀⠀⠀⢶⣶⣮⢧⢠⠙⣰⢹⣦⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠿⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣈⣽⣶⣿⣿⣷⣼⠟⠆⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠘⢥⣏⢿⢯⣿⡟⠀⣿⣿⣿⣶⣄⣠⢈⠲⠟⣛⠏⣍⣏⠬⣄⡺⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢸⣿⣿⣾⣿⣃⣧⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣧⣒⣴⣦⣾⣶⣾⣶⣿⡇⠀⠀⠀
March 2021

I sexually identify as a priest player

twitchquotes: I sexually identify as a priest player. Everyday I dream about flying into ranked games and conceding to rank 25 players. Call me retarded. I don't care. I'm beautiful. I'm getting plastic surgery to get my minions silenced for 2 mana. You can now refer to me as Anduinn and respect my right to concede on turn 1. If you can't accept me you're a holy-phobe and need to check your concede privileges. Thank you for being so understanding.
twitch chat
August 2016

Hearthstone

I sexually Identify as

Twitch chat and Gaben

twitchquotes: (◕_◕)╭∩╮FUCK YOU GABEN (◕_◕)(◕_◕)╭∩╮FUCK YOU GABEN (◕_◕)(◕_◕)╭∩╮FUCK YOU GABEN (◕_◕)(◕_◕)╭∩╮FUCK YOU GABEN (◕_◕)(◕_◕)╭∩╮FUCK YOU GABEN (◕_◕)(◕_◕)╭∩╮FUCK YOU GABEN (◕_◕)(◕_◕)╭∩╮FUCK YOU GABEN (◕_◕)(◕_◕)╭∩╮FUCK YOU GABEN (◕_◕)
twitch chat
February 2016
Dota Major

Dota 2

This is your father Vyascheslav from Moskva

twitchquotes: Hello Kripparian, this is your father Vyascheslav from Moskva. I have started working overtime at the power plant, and your sister Tatyana has gone to Berlin to sell her body to Kraut swine for money. We do all this to pay for your "Stoned Heart of the Cards" game. Please win tournament and send us rubles soon, so our family can be together again.
twitch chat
May 2016
Kripp

Hearthstone

Text-to-Speech Playing