[Copypasta] I am not a simp.

twitchquotes: And I want to say this to the kings in the audience. I’ve made my mistakes in my chase for coochie. But in all of my years of chad life, I have never simped– never simped for a girl. I’ve earned every bit of cooch. And in all of my years of chad life, I have never paid for the meal. Because people have got to know whether or not I’m a simp. Well, I’m not a simp. I’ve never simped for any girl I’ve got. I am not a simp.
twitch chat
July 2020

Simps

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A woman and a redditor?

A woman and a redditor? Whoa mama! Hummina hummina hummina bazooooooooing! eyes pop out AROOOOOOOOGA! jaw drops tongue rolls out WOOF WOOF WOOF WOOF WOOF WOOF WOOF WOOF WOOF WOOF WOOF WOOF WOOF WOOF WOOF tongue bursts out of the mouth uncontrollably leaking face and everything in reach WURBLWUBRLBWURblrwurblwurlbrwubrlwburlwbruwrlblwublr tiny cupid shoots an arrow through heart Ahhhhhhhhhhh me lady... *heart in the shape of a heart starts beating so hard you can see it through shirt * ba-bum ba-bum ba-bum ba-bum ba-bum milk truck crashes into a bakery store in the background spiling white liquid and dough on the streets BABY WANTS TO FUCK inhales from the gas tank honka honka honka honka ~masturabtes furiously ohhhh my gooooodd~
August 2021

Simps

You aren’t like the other girls. You're built different

I have seen numerous people use this filter and I can confidently say that your rendition of the use of this filter is by far the best I’ve ever seen. You’re absolutely hilarious, very quirky, whacky, and unique. And you know you are all of those things. I just love how raw, unscripted, and genuine your reactions are whilst using this filter. No other person has ever posted something like this. It’s so refreshing to see someone as different yet original as you. As cliché as it may sound, you aren’t like the other girls. You were built different. And I applause you for that.
March 2022

Simps

Here you go again you simp

twitchquotes: Here you go again you simp. pokiYikes If youre so butthurt about poki being the cooler, swagger and more beautiful streamer then why dont you just stop and think about what she means to me. I give her my paycheck. I almost had to take a mortgage out just to buy food but you know what? It doesnt matter. Pokimane reads when I sub each month and she gives me a smile so its worth. Sorry for rambling I just cant deal with you pathetic simps ✋
twitch chat
November 2019
Pokimane

Simps

nature has molded females to become a holy being

nature has molded females to become a holy being. they must be worshipped at all costs. since they lack the barbaric y chromosome and testosterone, they are unaggressive and thus good people. they are prophets, they are guides. questioning them is foolish and expecting 💦 for free is blasphemy. i will protect women at all costs and sacrifice everything for them because even their motherhood is a natural wonder. simping is a way of life. it is worship. would you make fun of a muslim for praying? then don't make fun of me either
October 2021

Simps

YOU'RE A GIRL GAMER?!

wait, wait, wait.... hold your horses... uhm... YOU'RE A GIRL GAMER?!!?! O_o_O Not to be a freak, but.. just when I thought you couldn't get more attractive.. you started playing video games. Nicely done, m'lady. You've just become every man's dream woman. If you had missed a couple before, now you can be sure you've got us ALL "drooling", lol.
May 2021

Simps

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