[Copypasta] What did you just say about my positions

twitchquotes: What the fuck did you just fucking say about my positions, you little bitch? I'll have you know I graduated top of my class in the Wharton Business School, and I've been involved in numerous insider trades on Alibaba, and I have over 30,000% returns. I am trained in trading on margarine and I'm the top trader in the Bridgewater Associates. You are nothing to me but just another pump before I dump. I will wipe your gains the fuck out with swiftness the likes of which has never been seen before on this Earth, mark my fucking words. You think you can get away with saying that shit to me over the Internet? Think again, fucker. As we speak I am contacting my network of brokers across the USA and your brokerage account is being traced right now so you better prepare for red dildos, faggot. The dildos that wipe out the pathetic little thing you call tendies. You're fucking broke, kid. I can manipulate any stock, anytime, and I can bankrupt you in over seven hundred ways, and that's just with my market manipulation. Not only am I extensively trained in pumping and dumping, but I have access to the entire arsenal of the SEC and I will use it to its full extent to wipe your miserable portfolio off the face of robinhood, you little shit. If only you could have known what unholy retribution your little "clever" comment was about to bring down upon you, maybe you would have held your fucking tongue. But you couldn't, you didn't, and now you're paying the price, you goddamn idiot. I will shit red dildos all over you and you will drown in them. You're fucking broke, kiddo.
twitch chat
September 2020
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More Copypastas

Coming out as morbsexual

In honor of Pride Month, I am here to say that it's morbin' time. Today, my fellow morbheads, we rise. I am proud to come out and express my true morbdentity to the world at this very morbment. I am a morbphile and I identify myself as morbsexual. My pronouns are morb/ius.
June 2022

Morbius

No one this year has a chance against TL

twitchquotes: Hate to break it to you, but no one this year has a chance against TL. They are easily the best team in the world this year, and its easy to see why. You have Impact, former world champion and the tank god ready to reclaim his title, and there is nothing that will stand in his way. Xmithie, the legendary jungle who knows the ins and outs of every single part of the game, ask him how much damage krugs will do to Anivia jungle at level 2 with just the starting item? He knows. Ask him where Mlxg will be at 20:43 into the game when its only 10:12? He can give you an area accurate to withing 500 units. You have Jensen, easily clapping perkz, caps, and your mum, as well as dominating the inferior Chinese and Korean mids. You have Doublelift, so called because he can carry twice as hard as any other ADC in the game, backed up by CoreJJ, a world champion who is so accurate with his Thresh hooks Riot had to program in a random number generator just to make sure he misses at least 20% of them to keep it fair to the enemy. Anyone who thinks EU, China, Korea, or any other team has a chance this year is straight up wrong.
twitch chat
August 2019

League of Legends

Sorry I've dropped my bag of Religious Symbols

twitchquotes: ☪ ✡ † ☨ ✞ ✝ ☥ ☦ ☓ ♁ ☩ ☪ ✡ † ☨ ✞ ✝ ☥ ☦ ☓ ♁ ☩ ☪ ✡ † ☨ ✞ ✝ ☥ ☦ ☓ ♁ ☩ Sorry I've dropped my bag of Religious Symbols ☪ ✡ † ☨ ✞ ✝ ☥ ☦ ☓ ♁ ☩ .☪ ✡ † ☨ ✞ ✝ ☥ ☦ ☓ ♁ ☩ ☪ ✡ † ☨ ✞ ✝ ☥ ☦ ☓ ♁ ☩
twitch chat
August 2015
strifecro

Honestly, that's what I call a cool story bro

twitchquotes: Honestly, that's what I call a cool story bro. Such a riveting tale, I honestly copy and pasted it to word, saved on my hard drive, backed it up on a jump drive, drove to the bank, put the jump drive in the safe deposit box, and will leave it there until my kids turn about 12 (when they can actually state their age, and ask what it is I'm showing them), when I will pick it up, put it in an old USB drive reader and relay this cool story to them and tell them, "kids, this is what a cool story should look and sound like...not like the stories your generation tells.
twitch chat
April 2020

Classic

top players first name

twitchquotes: LETS GO MICHAEL!! (btw Michael is imaqtpie, i can use his first name because we are tight like that. yeah i know top players but its not a big deal to me lol)
twitch chat
November 2018
imaqtpie

Classic

Text-to-Speech Playing