[Copypasta] What did you just say about my positions

twitchquotes: What the fuck did you just fucking say about my positions, you little bitch? I'll have you know I graduated top of my class in the Wharton Business School, and I've been involved in numerous insider trades on Alibaba, and I have over 30,000% returns. I am trained in trading on margarine and I'm the top trader in the Bridgewater Associates. You are nothing to me but just another pump before I dump. I will wipe your gains the fuck out with swiftness the likes of which has never been seen before on this Earth, mark my fucking words. You think you can get away with saying that shit to me over the Internet? Think again, fucker. As we speak I am contacting my network of brokers across the USA and your brokerage account is being traced right now so you better prepare for red dildos, faggot. The dildos that wipe out the pathetic little thing you call tendies. You're fucking broke, kid. I can manipulate any stock, anytime, and I can bankrupt you in over seven hundred ways, and that's just with my market manipulation. Not only am I extensively trained in pumping and dumping, but I have access to the entire arsenal of the SEC and I will use it to its full extent to wipe your miserable portfolio off the face of robinhood, you little shit. If only you could have known what unholy retribution your little "clever" comment was about to bring down upon you, maybe you would have held your fucking tongue. But you couldn't, you didn't, and now you're paying the price, you goddamn idiot. I will shit red dildos all over you and you will drown in them. You're fucking broke, kiddo.
twitch chat
September 2020
What happened to this ad? :(
More Copypastas

EU>NA

twitchquotes: I *** on the Flag of the United States of America, and to the Republic for which it stands, the Fattys, Guys who have no idea of anything and the most Hated Country EU > NA 4 ever
twitch chat
November 2014
Kripp

There is a bunch of Twitch overlords

twitchquotes: There is a bunch of Twitch overlords who grow batches of streamers from genetically modified eggs. When these eggs hatch and grow, they are given their first computer and start streaming a Dora the Explorer game. As they grow up, the most popular streamers advance and are given more complex games to stream, from CoD to Hearthstone. Each streamer lives in a small cubicle, and there are hundreds upon hundreds of cubicles on the grounds of the Twitch Headquarters. deIlluminati
twitch chat
March 2016
Kripp

Hmm Today I Will

⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣠⡶⠖⠛⠉⠉⠉⠉⠉⠛⠲⣦⣄⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⣤⠖⠋⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣴⣿⠛⠙⠛⢷⣤⣈⢿⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⣴⠋⠀⠀⠀⠀⣀⣤⣶⠶⠚⠛⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣿⠀ ⢀⡟⣠⣶⠖⠛⠉⢁⣠⣴⣶⢶⡄⠀⠺⣯⣭⣭⣭⣿⠿⠗⢸⡆ ⣾⠀⠀⠀⣴⣞⣉⣈⣿⡿⠛⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⣻⣦⠶⠛⠉⠙⢿⡇ ⣿⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣠⣤⠶⠛⠉⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⡶⢻⠁ ⣿⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠛⠛⠛⠉⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢰⡇⣿⠀ ⠘⣆⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢠⡟⣼⠃⠀ ⠀⠹⣄⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠛⣦⣀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣠⡶⠋⣼⠃⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠈⠛⣦⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣠⡾⠋⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⠉⠛⠛⠶⣤⣿⣿⣴⣶⠛⠉⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣰⠋⢸⠀⠙⢷⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣾⠁⠀⢸⠀⠀⠀⠈⢷⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢠⡟⠀⠀⠀⢸⡆⠀⠀⠀⠀⠘⢶⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣾⠃⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠻⡄⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⢀⡿⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣀⣿⣀⣀⣀⣀⣀⣀⡀⢹⣦⣤⠄ ⢀⣤⣶⣿⣿⣷⣶⠟⠛⠉⠀⠀⢸⡄⠀⠀⠉⠙⠛⠿⣿⣿⣦⢻ ⠀⣸⠃⢿⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⡇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠘⣿⠀⠀
August 2021

Evil anime laugh

⠻⣦⡈⠛⢿⡌⢆⢂⠹⣿⣧⡄⡄⠹⡄⢆⡟⢄⠉⢟⣮⣷⢄⠐⢤⡤⢤⣬⣭⣭ ⣷⣤⠙⣶⣦⠙⡌⢻⠂⠘⣿⣷⢹⠄⢳⠘⣿⡟⣿⡄⢳⡆⢳⠛⢢⠈⠉⠛⠛⠛ ⢿⣿⣷⣀⠈⠓⠌⠂⠘⢆⠈⢙⣎⢣⠘⡆⢣⡛⣿⡇⢀⡙⠚⠶⠶⠿⠷⠶⠒⠒ ⣾⠿⣿⣿⣦⣄⣁⣀⣠⡀⠡⠄⠳⡛⢆⠱⠈⢧⣿⡇⠸⠟⠉⠐⠠⠄⠄⠄⣼⣿ ⣿⣷⣬⣉⣛⣛⠛⠿⠿⣧⣷⣦⣄⠘⢿⡆⠡⠘⣀⡇⢠⣶⣷⣮⣤⣤⣴⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⡀⢿⡀⠄⠉⡇⢸⣿⣿⣿⣉⣉⣉⣉⣉⣰ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡏⣿⣦⡙⠄⠄⠁⢸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⡙⠿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠿⠁⣿⣿⣷⣌⠄⠄⠘⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣦⣀⡨⣝⡻⠿⣻⣿⣧⣄⠄⠄⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣦⡀⢻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⡇⢿⡛⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣧⠘⣿⣛⣻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣤⡿⢿⠿⣛⡃⠄⣸⣿ ⡹⣿⣿⣿⣿⣼⣷⣶⣝⢿⣿⣿⣿⣧⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠟⣿⢇⣈⣼⣿⣿ ⣿⣜⢿⣭⢻⣿⣿⣿⣯⢧⠙⢻⠛⣛⣛⠛⠛⠿⠿⠟⣛⣥⣶⣼⢏⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣎⠿⣇⢻⣿⣿⣿⡌⢷⣆⢭⣓⣒⣒⣛⣣⣶⠞⣵⣿⣿⣿⡿⣱⣾⡟⣵⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣤⣻⡘⣿⣿⣿⣷⡜⢻⣮⣛⣛⣟⣫⡿⣛⣴⣿⣿⣿⣿⢃⣿⣿⣷⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣣⢹⣿⣿⣿⣿⣯⡙⠛⠛⠛⢛⣺⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠇⣼⢫⣵⣿⣿
December 2018

Oh my gourd, I am financially ruined (agricultural futures)

I have lost everything, and I'm not sure how to continue. This summer I invested $17,500 (six months salary and my entire life savings) into ornamental gourd futures, hoping to capitalize on this lucrative emerging industry. After watching a video about Vincent Kosuga and his monopoly on onions, I decided I'd try to do something similar with another vegetable. I did some research and found out many agricultural forecasters expected this year's gourd yield would be far smaller than the past, due to deteriorating soil conditions in central Mexico and a warmer-than-average spring. At first, demand soared around Halloween and prices skyrocketed, but the gourd bubble burst on November 12th. Unfortunately, the coronavirus caused a massive drop-off in demand due to fewer families decorating their tables for thanksgiving, and prices plummeted. I had invested early enough that I thought I would still be fine, but then on the morning of December 2nd, a new email in my inbox caused my stomach to turn into a pretzel. The massive gourd shipment from Argentina, scheduled for early March, had arrived. I was planning on selling off my futures right before this, in February, but this ruined everything. To top it off, the gourds in this shipment were absolutely gargantuan, some topping 4 pounds each, causing the price-per-pound to drop like an anchor into the range of 6 cents per pound. I am ruined.
January 2021

Classic

WallStreetBets

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