[Copypasta] I hardly ever watch twitch anymore

twitchquotes: I hardly ever watch twitch anymore, and it’s mostly because of cringe chat. All you do is copy and paste the same things or constantly repeat the same stupid emotes in response to everything. So predictable and annoying
twitch chat
September 2020
(β–€ΜΏΔΉΜ―β”œβ”¬β”΄β”¬β”΄ Psst... kid, you wanna disable adblock?
More Copypastas

Jerry (Tom and Jerry)

β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–“β–ˆβ–’β–’β–“β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–“β–“β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–‘β–‘ β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–“β–‘β–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–“β–“β–’β–’β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–’β–“β–“β–“β–“β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆ β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–“β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–‘β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–“β–“β–’β–“β–“β–“β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–“β–“β–ˆβ–“β–“β–“β–ˆβ–ˆ β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–“β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–“β–’β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–“β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–’β–ˆβ–“β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–’ β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–’β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–ˆβ–“β–’β–“β–’β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–’β–ˆβ–ˆβ–“β–“β–“β–“ β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–’β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–’β–ˆβ–ˆβ–’β–“β–“β–“ β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–ˆβ–’β–“β–ˆβ–“β–’β–ˆβ–ˆβ–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–’β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–’β–ˆβ–ˆβ–“β–“β–“β–“ β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–’β–ˆβ–’β–“β–“β–ˆβ–’β–ˆβ–ˆβ–“β–ˆβ–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–’β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–’β–ˆβ–ˆβ–“β–“β–“β–“ β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–“β–“β–“β–“β–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–“β–“β–“β–“β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–“β–“β–’β–ˆβ–ˆβ–“β–’β–ˆβ–“β–“β–“β–“β–“ β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–’β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–’β–’β–ˆβ–ˆβ–‘β–’β–ˆβ–“β–“β–“β–ˆβ–ˆβ–’β–‘β–ˆβ–ˆβ–“β–’β–ˆβ–ˆβ–’β–“β–ˆβ–“β–“β–“β–“β–“ β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–’β–‘β–“β–ˆβ–“β–“β–ˆβ–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–ˆβ–“β–’β–ˆβ–ˆβ–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“ β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–“β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–ˆβ–“β–“β–ˆβ–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“ β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–“β–’β–ˆβ–‘β–’β–ˆβ–‘β–ˆβ–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–ˆβ–“β–“β–ˆβ–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“ β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–’β–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–‘β–’β–’β–‘β–“β–’β–’β–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“ β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–“β–‘β–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–‘β–ˆβ–’β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–“β–ˆβ–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“ β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–’β–‘β–‘β–’β–ˆβ–‘β–’β–’β–’β–‘β–“β–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–ˆβ–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“ β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–‘β–’β–ˆβ–‘β–’β–’β–’β–‘β–ˆβ–’β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–’β–ˆβ–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“ β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–‘β–“β–ˆβ–‘β–’β–’β–’β–‘β–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–ˆβ–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“ β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–ˆβ–“β–‘β–“β–“β–‘β–’β–’β–‘β–’β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–‘β–’β–ˆβ–“β–“β–“β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“ β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–‘β–“β–“β–‘β–’β–’β–‘β–“β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–“β–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–ˆβ–“β–“β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“ β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–’β–“β–“β–’β–’β–’β–‘β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–‘β–’β–ˆβ–“β–“β–ˆβ–ˆβ–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“ β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–’β–ˆβ–’β–’β–’β–’β–‘β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–“β–‘β–ˆβ–ˆβ–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“ β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–’β–ˆβ–’β–’β–’β–’β–‘β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–’β–‘β–ˆβ–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–“β–“β–“β–“β–“ β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–’β–’β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–’β–ˆβ–’β–’β–’β–’β–‘β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–‘β–ˆβ–ˆβ–“β–ˆβ–“β–“β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“ β–ˆβ–“β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–’β–ˆβ–‘β–’β–’β–’β–‘β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–‘β–ˆβ–“β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“ β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–’β–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–‘β–’β–“β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–“β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“ β–ˆβ–“β–“β–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–“β–ˆβ–ˆβ–“β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–’β–“β–ˆβ–ˆβ–’β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“ β–ˆβ–“β–ˆβ–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–“β–‘β–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–“β–‘β–ˆβ–’β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–’β–“ β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–“β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–’β–“β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆ β–“β–“β–’β–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–‘β–’β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–’β–‘β–ˆβ–ˆβ–’β–“β–’β–’β–’β–“β–“β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–“β–“β–“β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆ β–“β–“β–“β–ˆβ–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–‘β–’β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–“β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–“β–ˆβ–ˆβ–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–’ β–“β–“β–“β–“β–ˆβ–“β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–“β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–“β–’β–‘β–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“ β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–ˆβ–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–’β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–“β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–’β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–ˆβ–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“ β–ˆβ–ˆβ–“β–“β–“β–“β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–“β–ˆβ–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“ β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–“β–“β–“β–ˆβ–’β–’β–’β–‘β–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–ˆβ–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“ β–‘β–’β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–“β–ˆβ–“β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–ˆ β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–“β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–’β–ˆβ–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–ˆ β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–ˆβ–’β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–ˆβ–“β–“β–“β–“β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆ β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–“β–ˆβ–’β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–’β–ˆβ–’β–“β–“β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–’β–‘ β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–“β–‘β–‘β–‘β–“β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–“β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–’β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘ β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–“β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–“β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘ β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–’β–‘β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–‘β–“β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–’β–’β–’β–“β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘ β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–“β–“β–“β–“β–’β–ˆβ–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–’β–ˆβ–ˆβ–“β–‘β–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–ˆβ–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘ β–‘β–‘β–’β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–’β–“β–“β–“β–“β–’β–ˆβ–ˆβ–“β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–“β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–ˆβ–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–‘ β–‘β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–’β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–ˆβ–“β–ˆβ–“β–‘β–‘β–‘β–“β–ˆβ–ˆβ–“β–ˆβ–ˆβ–’β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–’β–ˆβ–ˆβ–‘β–‘ β–ˆβ–ˆβ–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–ˆβ–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–’β–ˆβ–ˆβ–’β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–’β–ˆβ–ˆβ–‘ β–ˆβ–’β–“β–“β–“β–ˆβ–ˆβ–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–ˆβ–ˆβ–“β–’β–“β–“β–ˆβ–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–’β–ˆβ–ˆ β–’β–“β–“β–“β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–’β–ˆ β–“β–“β–ˆβ–ˆβ–“β–‘β–ˆβ–ˆβ–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–’ β–’β–ˆβ–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–ˆβ–“β–“β–“β–“β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“ β–ˆβ–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–’β–‘β–ˆβ–“β–“β–’β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–’β–’β–ˆβ–ˆβ–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“ β–ˆβ–‘β–’β–’β–‘β–“β–ˆβ–“β–’β–ˆβ–ˆβ–’β–‘β–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–ˆβ–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“ β–‘β–’β–’β–’β–‘β–ˆβ–ˆβ–’β–ˆβ–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–’β–’β–‘β–ˆβ–ˆβ–’β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“ β–’β–’β–’β–’β–‘β–ˆβ–“β–ˆβ–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–’β–’β–’β–‘β–ˆβ–ˆβ–’β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“ β–’β–’β–’β–‘β–’β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–’β–’β–’β–’β–‘β–ˆβ–ˆβ–’β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“ β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–ˆβ–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–‘β–ˆβ–ˆβ–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“ β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–“β–’β–‘β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–‘β–ˆβ–ˆβ–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“ β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–‘β–ˆβ–ˆβ–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“
September 2021

Don't use that catheter on my bum bumarino

twitchquotes: Hello Gino "No Cappuccino" Pastarino here. I see you are using one of Reynad's copyrighted decks. You must pay...wait you are Reynadarino climbing ladderino? My badarino. Please forgivarino Lord Reynard. I give much love. Don't use that catheter on my bum bumarino like you did last time-arino. With no cappucino Love, Gino Pastarino
twitch chat
July 2014
Reynad

POLICE VOLIBEAR

twitchquotes: HotPokket HELLO RIOT? ☎️ HotPokket MAE HERE ☎️ POLICE VOLIBEAR SELECTED ☎️ HotPokket IM TRIGGERED ☎️ HotPokket
twitch chat
July 2020

League of Legends

It's not gay with socks on

When I was 13 years old a buddy of mine tried to convince me to fool around. I wasn't into it, and he told me it's not gay if you're wearing socks. I didn't believe him, went home, and asked my dad. That's 'gentleman's gay', hardly gay at all. Don't see it much these days. The 50s were a different time. What were we to do? We were typical boarding school boys, rich with vigor, skin slick with drying sweat and gritty earth from a game of pigskin. At night our young, virile bodies filled the dorm with sweet-musky vapors, like game-meat stewed with apple and peppercorn. You'd awake in darkness to the hushed, melodic rhythm of two pairs of white tube socks, barely visible in moonlight, bouncing on the hardwood floor. The deep bond of male friendship played like a thousand different human instruments. The wet claps of skin on skin, the gentle thud of heads on backboards, frenzied cries in the throes of climax. Wilbur, so fat and soft like tapioca pudding. His breasts were so like the real thing, what we fantasized of our future wives. Unwilling, defenseless Wilbur, so slow and uncoordinated in the dark. 10 of us would glaze his bare, pink flesh like a giant raspberry danish. He once had the audacity to tell Headmaster Redford. But Redford was a Deerfield boy once, he understood. So he joined us on our midnight hog hunts. Through college and years after we'd find time here and there, away from the wives at a family lake house. But it's been decades now - the times have certainly changed. If you wanted to do something private with another man, in your socks, it wasn’t β€˜gay’. It was just two men, celebrating each other's strength.
August 2021

Among Us concerned father

Hello everyone, concerned father here. Recently my 7 year old son discovered the video game β€œAmong Us” after playing it on his computer. While i didn’t mind at first, it soon began to affect his character. Within a week, he had been screaming 'sus’ in his sleep. When asked to do his homework, he called me a stupid father and said β€˜kicked’. His grades have been dropping heavily since that day and whenever i refuse to give him my credit card for cosmetics he threatens me saying he’ll β€œeject” me. Yesterday I entered his room to witness him listening to extremely loud rave 'Among Drip’, he put a bunch of pillows in his shirt to make himself look big and now calls himself a β€œcrewmate”. He refuses to go to bible study unless we use β€œvent” to get there. I don’t know what that is but he refuses to take any form of transportation except that. Please I am so concerned, what do I do?
February 2021

Among Us / Amogus

Text-to-Speech Playing