[Copypasta] I hardly ever watch twitch anymore

twitchquotes: I hardly ever watch twitch anymore, and it’s mostly because of cringe chat. All you do is copy and paste the same things or constantly repeat the same stupid emotes in response to everything. So predictable and annoying
twitch chat
September 2020
I used to be a real ad
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Keepo

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ascii art
November 2014

Biden's America

The year is 2021. You look at the television. SIlver fox President Biden announces a vaccine mandate for employees. You clutch your limited edition Trump Funko Pop. It has begun. You gather up all your belongings, and jump into your truck, hitting the highway for the airport. Out of your rearview mirror you can make out a sleek black Prius pursuing you. You make out the numbers “1” “9” “8” and 4” on their license plate. You are able to lose the Prius and arrive at the airport. You are almost free. At airport security You see a young man being dragged away screaming. The guards yell something about him having more than 3.4 oz of liquid. Thankfully you only have an AR 15 on you. The guard inspects it. “It’s for hunting,” you say. They hand it back to you and wave for you to move along. You breathe a sigh of relief. “One more thing.” You turn to see a Guard staring down at you with their beady soulless eyes. “I need to see your vaccination card” It is too late. You try to run away, but you feel someone press a cloth against your face. Reality fades away. You wake up in some kind of lab, chained down to an operation table and gagged. The room is undecorated except for a single poster of Harry Styles in a dress on the wall. A single figure stands in the corner shrouded in shadow, fiddling with a syringe. As they step out of the shadow, you can make out their face, the roguishly handsome Gavin Newsom. He positions a large surgical headlight above you and turns it on. He holds up the large syringe to the light and chuckles, staring into your pleading eyes. “Don't worry, it will all be over soon” He removes his mask to reveal his serpent's tongue, flickering in amusement. He plunges the syringe straight through your “socialism is for figs” shirt into your arm. “Nighty night” Your world fades to black once more.
October 2021

Joe Biden

Politics

I can no longer resist the pizza

twitchquotes: I can no longer resist the pizza. I open the box and unzip my pants with my other hand. As I penetrate the gooey cheese, I moan in ecstacy. The mushrooms and Italian sausage are rough, but the sauce is deliciously soothing. I blow my load in seconds. As you leave the bathroom, I exit through the front door....
twitch chat
March 2014
Kripp

Everyone knows the crowd are all paid actors

twitchquotes: Everyone knows the crowd are all paid actors, but did you know the chat is all paid commenters too? I can prove it - all the other paid commenters in chat will also post this
twitch chat
March 2018

LOL rage face

⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣀⣤⣴⣶⣿⠿⣿⣿⠿⠿⠿⠿⠿⢿⣿⣷⣶⣶⣤⣄⣀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣠⣶⣿⣿⣿⣿⣭⣤⣤⠤⠤⢤⣀⣀⣀⣀⣀⣀⣀⡈⠉⢙⣿⣿⣿⣶⣤⣀⣀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣤⣾⠟⠋⠀⠀⣀⣤⣴⣿⡿⠿⢲⣤⣤⣄⣀⣀⠀⡀⠀⠀⣠⡾⠿⠟⠛⠛⠿⢿⣿⣿⣶⣤⣤⣀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣰⣾⠟⠁⢀⣤⣾⣿⠟⠋⣉⣀⣀⣀⣈⣉⣩⠭⠭⠭⠭⠭⠭⠭⠤⠤⠀⠀⠀⣠⣶⠿⠿⠿⠿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣶⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⢠⣾⡟⠁⣠⣾⣿⡿⠋⠀⣠⡾⠛⠋⠉⠉⠙⠛⠿⣦⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣴⡿⠋⠀⠀⠀⣠⣾⣿⡟⢻⣿⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⢠⣿⠏⠠⠞⠛⠛⠋⠀⢀⣾⠋⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠸⣷⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣾⠏⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠙⠻⠿⠁⢸⣿⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⣾⡿⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣸⡏⠀⣀⣤⣤⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣿⡄⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠠⣏⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣾⣿⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⢠⣿⠃⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢰⣶⣿⡇⠀⣿⣿⣿⡿⠂⠀⠀⠀⠀⣿⠃⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢿⣄⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣀⣼⠏⣿⡇⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⢸⣿⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠚⠛⢛⣿⣿⣤⡙⠛⠋⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣼⠟⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⠙⠛⠳⣶⣶⠿⠛⠛⠛⠿⣦⣿⣿⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⣾⡇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠞⠉⠀⠈⠛⠿⠶⣦⣤⣴⡾⠟⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣀⣴⠟⠁⢀⣀⣤⣀⡀⠀⠙⢿⣧⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⣿⡇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠠⢤⣤⣤⣤⣤⡤⠴⠖⢻⣿⠃⢀⣴⡿⠉⠉⠉⠻⣦⠀⠀⢿⣧⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⣿⡇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢠⣤⣤⣤⣤⣤⣤⠤⠖⠀⣠⣿⠃⠀⣼⡿⣿⡟⢲⡶⣤⣿⣆⠀⢸⣿⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⣿⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠘⠻⠿⢯⣥⣤⣤⣤⠖⠀⣿⡏⠀⢰⣿⣀⣿⣀⣸⣀⣿⣉⣿⠀⢸⣿⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⣿⡇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠠⣤⣤⣤⣤⣤⣄⣀⣀⠀⣿⡇⠀⢸⡇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣿⠂⣼⡇⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⢸⣇⠀⢠⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢹⣧⠀⢸⡇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢰⡿⢠⣿⠁⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠘⣿⡀⠈⣧⠀⠸⡆⠀⢤⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢸⣿⠀⢸⡇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢠⣿⠁⣾⡇⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⢸⣧⠀⠸⣧⠀⣷⠀⠀⠳⡄⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢸⣿⠀⢸⡇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣾⡇⠀⣿⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⢿⡄⠀⠘⣷⣻⡇⠀⠀⠙⢦⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠤⣤⣤⣤⣀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢸⣿⠀⣾⡇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣿⡇⠀⣿⡇⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠘⣿⡀⠀⠘⣿⣿⡀⠀⠀⠈⣷⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠐⠒⠾⠿⣷⣦⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣸⡏⢀⣿⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢿⡇⠀⠸⣷⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠹⣧⠀⠀⢸⣿⣷⠀⠀⠀⢻⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠐⠲⢶⣬⡙⠻⣦⠀⠀⢀⡿⠁⢸⡟⠉⠙⠓⠲⣄⠀⢸⣷⠀⠀⡇⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢹⣇⠀⠀⢻⡟⣧⠀⠀⠸⣄⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣀⣀⠀⠈⠻⢦⣄⠀⠀⣾⡇⠀⣿⡇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⢷⡀⣿⠀⠀⡇⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢿⣆⠀⠈⢷⡘⣧⠀⠀⠈⠳⣄⠀⠀⠀⠉⠉⠛⠲⣦⡀⠙⠷⠀⣿⠀⠀⣿⠶⠶⡶⠶⡶⢶⠶⢿⣿⠀⠀⡇⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⢿⣆⠀⠀⠻⣿⡷⣤⣀⠀⠈⠳⣄⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠙⠷⣄⠀⣿⠀⠀⢿⣧⣸⣧⣤⡇⢸⣆⣼⡏⠀⢀⡇⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⢿⣧⡀⠀⠈⠳⣄⠉⠓⢦⣀⠈⠻⢦⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⢷⣿⠀⠀⠘⣿⣅⠀⠈⠉⢙⣻⡟⠀⠀⣼⡇⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠙⢿⣦⡀⠀⠈⠙⠶⣤⣽⣿⣦⣄⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢿⣇⠀⠀⠈⠙⠻⠿⠿⠟⠋⠀⠀⣼⡿⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠉⠻⢷⣦⣀⠀⠀⠈⠙⠻⠿⢿⣿⣶⣶⡶⠶⠶⣤⣼⣿⣷⣄⣀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣀⣤⡾⠋⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠉⠛⠿⣶⣤⣄⡀⠀⠀⠈⠉⠙⠛⠓⠶⠶⠶⠆⠀⠉⠛⠛⢻⣾⣿⡿⠟⠋⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⠙⠿⢿⣶⣦⣄⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣶⣶⣶⡶⠟⠋⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⠉⠙⠻⢷⣶⣶⣶⣶⠾⠟⠉⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
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May 2021
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