[Copypasta] I hardly ever watch twitch anymore

twitchquotes: I hardly ever watch twitch anymore, and it’s mostly because of cringe chat. All you do is copy and paste the same things or constantly repeat the same stupid emotes in response to everything. So predictable and annoying
twitch chat
September 2020
What happened to this ad? :(
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The tragedy of Darth Kripparian the Salty

twitchquotes: Did you ever hear the tragedy of Darth Kripparian the Salty? I thought not. It’s not a story the streamer would tell you. It’s a Salt legend. Darth Kripparian was a Dark Lord of the Salt, so powerful and so wise he could use the Force to influence the midichlorians to create salt… He had such a knowledge of the dark side that he couldn't even keep the cards he cared about from dying. The dark side of the Force is a pathway to many abilities some consider to be salty.
twitch chat
April 2017
Kripp

Tragedy of Darth Plagueis The Wise

salty

Running dog

β”ˆβ”ˆβ”ˆβ”ˆβ•±β–β”ˆβ”ˆβ”ˆβ”ˆβ”ˆβ•±β–”β–”β–”β–”β•²β”ˆβ”ˆβ”ˆβ”ˆβ”ˆ β”ˆβ”ˆβ”ˆβ”ˆβ–β–β”ˆβ”ˆβ”ˆβ”ˆβ”ˆβ–β•²β–•β–‹β–•β–‹β–β”ˆβ”ˆβ”ˆβ”ˆ β”ˆβ”ˆβ”ˆβ”ˆβ•²β•²β”ˆβ”ˆβ”ˆβ”ˆβ”ˆβ–β”ˆβ–β”ˆβ–”β–”β–”β–†β”ˆβ”ˆβ”ˆ β”ˆβ”ˆβ”ˆβ”ˆβ”ˆβ•²β–”β–”β–”β–”β–”β•²β•±β”ˆβ•°β”³β”³β”³β•―β”ˆβ”ˆβ”ˆ β”ˆβ”ˆβ•±β•²β•±β•²β–β”ˆβ”ˆβ”ˆβ”ˆβ”ˆβ”ˆβ–•β–”β•°β”β•―β”ˆβ”ˆβ”ˆβ”ˆ β”ˆβ”ˆβ–”β•²β•²β•±β•±β–”β•±β–”β–”β•²β•²β•²β•²β”ˆβ”ˆβ”ˆβ”ˆβ”ˆβ”ˆβ”ˆ β”ˆβ”ˆβ”ˆβ”ˆβ•²β•±β•²β•±β”ˆβ”ˆβ”ˆβ”ˆβ•²β•²β–‚β•²β–‚β”ˆβ”ˆβ”ˆβ”ˆβ”ˆ β”ˆβ”ˆβ”ˆβ”ˆβ”ˆβ”ˆβ”ˆβ”ˆβ”ˆβ”ˆβ”ˆβ”ˆβ”ˆβ•²β•±β•²β•±β”ˆβ”ˆβ”ˆβ”ˆβ”ˆ
ascii art
November 2014

Dex sits in a huge doghouse

twitchquotes: A few feet offscreen, Dex sits in a huge doghouse. Full and content because of his "kibbles and bits" diet, he's too happy to move. He's so happy, and enjoys life. He knows his owner has hope of a 12 win run. He knows he could draw attention to himself, since he's the king of his house. In a single act of pride, Dex barks to give Kripp his praise. "Good boy Dex" is his response.
twitch chat
April 2018
Kripp

Surprised bird

β–„β–„β–„β–€β–€β–€β–„β–„β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–„ β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–„β–€β–€β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–€β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–Œ β–’β–’β–’β–’β–„β–€β–€β–€β–€β–€β–„β–’β–’β–„β–€β–€β–€β–€β–€β–„β–’β–β–ˆβ–Œ β–‘β–‘β–‘β–β–‘β–‘β–‘β–„β–„β–‘β–‘β–Œβ–β–‘β–‘β–‘β–„β–„β–‘β–‘β–Œβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–Œ β–‘β–„β–€β–Œβ–‘β–‘β–‘β–€β–€β–‘β–‘β–Œβ–β–‘β–‘β–‘β–€β–€β–‘β–‘β–Œβ–’β–€β–’β–ˆβ–Œ β–‘β–Œβ–’β–€β–„β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–„β–€β–’β–’β–€β–„β–‘β–‘β–‘β–„β–€β–’β–„β–€β–’β–Œ β–‘β–€β–„β–β–’β–€β–€β–€β–€β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–€β–€β–€β–’β–’β–’β–’β–ˆ β–‘β–‘β–‘β–„β–€β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–„β–„β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–‘β–Œβ–€β–€β–‘β–€β–ˆ β–‘β–‘β–„β–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–„β–€β–€β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–„β–β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–Œ β–‘β–β–ˆβ–€β–„β–€β–„β–„β–„β–„β–€β–€β–€β–€β–Œβ–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–β–ˆβ–„ β–‘β–Œβ–„β–„β–€β–€β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–Œβ–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–„β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–„ β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–„
ascii art
January 2017

AITA for not showing up to my own funeral?

So I (74M) was recently hit by a car (2014 Honda) and died. My wife (5F) organized me a funeral (cost $2747) without asking me (74M) at all. I (74M) was unable to make it because I (74M) was dead (17 days). At the funeral I heard my dad (15M) and other family members talking about how they wish I could be there and now I feel bad for not showing up. AITA?
August 2021

AITA

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