It’s 2036. Your mom was an e girl with an onlyfans and your dad is a sadboi guitarist. 98% of the Caucasian male students in school are named Aiden. Every afternoon you come home to check on Mom because she still thinks posting memes about wanting to die are in. She sees you pull out your homework and you sigh. “No, mom. I don’t want to listen to Lo-Fi beats to study and relax to.” She looks mildly disappointed but perks up again. “No horror trap/witch house either,” you interrupt. SadDad walks in and pats you on the back, but not before saying “Aye, fam. You look a little upset, u wanna go get a face tat?”
I used to be a real ad
More Copypastas
Mitch is the type of dude who...
Mitch McConnell shaves his face with the same razor he shaves his nuts and butt hole
Mitch the type of guy to put on sunglasses to get another free sample at Costco
Mitch the type of guy that says "you too" when the waitress tells him to enjoy his meal.
Mitch the kinda guy to leave “smile more” on the tip section of a receipt
Mitch is the type of dude who says "Ni Hao" to the waiter at a Thai restaurant
Mitch the type of guy to shower then shit
Mitch McConnell claps when the plane lands
Mitch is the type of dude who thinks crest toothpaste is spicy
Mitch the kind of guy that uses self checkout with a full cart.
WallStreetBets
I just screenshotted your NFT FAQ (Reddit)
I just screenshotted your NFT.
You may be concerned about this. In case you are, please read the below:
# FAQ:
## Why did you screenshot my NFT?
I'm not going to tell you.
## Did you screenshot anybody else's NFTs?
You could say I am screenshotting everybody's NFTs, but in the case I am telling you that I screenshotted your NFT.
## How are you screenshotting my NFTs?
I screenshot when you post them on your profile.
## What are you planning to do with my NFTs?
Have them all.
## What do I do about you screenshotting my NFTs?
There's nothing you can do.
## When are you going to stop screenshotting my NFTs?
You cannot escape me.
## Do I call the police?
No. The authorities will not help you.
## What are the consequences of you screenshotting my NFTs?
Be aware.
## What if I am ok with you screenshotting my NFTs?
I will make sure you’re not.
If there are any more questions then please consult your NFT wallet by directly speaking to it.
## Summary:
I am screenshotting your NFTs.
Hopefully the FBI can find Jack Ma
FBI set up a tip line for people to send in videos and pictures of the people who stormed the capitol yesterday... I’ve been sending them pictures of Jack Ma. Hopefully they can find him.
WallStreetBets
I downloaded Sonic games on my school computer
So yesterday in class we were all given our new Windows computers (last year, I hacked the chromebooks so they could play Sonic Advance) and I immediately downloaded twenty-five PC Sonic games within one hour and installed two dozen emulators to play the console and handheld ones. After we all got our computers, I bragged about having the ability to play 60 Sonic games. The teacher confisticated my computer and said I would have to use the chromebooks for the rest of the year. She also said that Sonic was a dead franchise and that Fortnite was better in every way. That was really no good and SLOW of her! So I ripped my computer out of my Sonic-hating teacher and screamed "YOU SLUTTY SLOW SONIC HATER! YOU'RE JUST TOO SLOW!" I also went to her macbook, and deleted Fortnite and installed more Sonic games and played Gotta Go Fast to the whole class. She gave me an F, which is impossible since E is the lowest rank and S is the highest, and sent me to the principal's office, where I was suspended and they called my parents, who took away my Game Gear. When I get back, I'll make sure they pay for being TOO SLOW.
Dear host EZ 🍷 of digital streams EZ 🍷
twitchquotes:
Dear host 
🍷 of digital streams 🍷 gentlemen from chat 🍷 ask you to include male music 🍷 with vocals 🍷 of Gachirian era 🍷
🍷 of digital streams 🍷 gentlemen from chat 🍷 ask you to include male music 🍷 with vocals 🍷 of Gachirian era 🍷
twitch chat