[Copypasta] It's 2036

It’s 2036. Your mom was an e girl with an onlyfans and your dad is a sadboi guitarist. 98% of the Caucasian male students in school are named Aiden. Every afternoon you come home to check on Mom because she still thinks posting memes about wanting to die are in. She sees you pull out your homework and you sigh. “No, mom. I don’t want to listen to Lo-Fi beats to study and relax to.” She looks mildly disappointed but perks up again. “No horror trap/witch house either,” you interrupt. SadDad walks in and pats you on the back, but not before saying “Aye, fam. You look a little upset, u wanna go get a face tat?”
October 2020
I used to be a real ad
More Copypastas

This player doesn't even use a monitor

I've seen [insert player here] play, he doesn't even use a monitor. He visualizes the map in a detailed rendering, completely in his mind. He has a biological wallhack; his godlike perception highlights all enemies within light-years. His eyes are closed as his mouse gracefully swerves across the table, making immaculate twitches as he flicks from head to head. The bullets that escape his gun barrel are surgical; each making a deadly strike in between his opponent's eyes.
July 2022

CSGO

Valorant

Ben Shapiro asks a girl out to prom

Ok, so l-let's say, hypothetically, for the sake of the argument, that, perhaps, I, Ben, was to ask you, Stacy, to the prom, right now. Now let me ask you, in that situation, would it not be in your best interest to say yes? I mean the answer is obvious, right? Now let's suppose, that in fact, I was doing so right now, in this room. Now, hypothetically, what would your response be?
January 2021

Ben Shapiro

Stop getting played like a fiddle, chat!

twitchquotes: Oh my god, why do you losers care so much about these streamers and emotes and bits and stuff? You act like streamers are close friends of yours or something, but they're just manipulating you to give them money and attention. Stop getting played like a fiddle, chat! Go out and live your own damn life instead of watching someone else play video games while copy and pasting pointless blocks of text!
twitch chat
May 2019

Naxx beta key on Kripp's Pornhub profile

twitchquotes: NAXX BETA OUT Iɴғᴏʀᴍᴀᴛɪᴏɴ ᴏɴ ʜᴏᴡ ᴛᴏ ɢᴇᴛ ᴀ ғʀᴇᴇ Nᴀxx ᴋᴇʏ ᴛᴏ ᴇɴᴛᴇʀ ʙᴇᴛᴀ ᴄᴀɴ ʙᴇ ғᴏᴜɴᴅ ᴏɴ Kʀɪᴘᴘᴀʀɪᴀɴ's ᴘᴏʀɴʜᴜʙ ᴘʀᴏғɪʟᴇ (ᴜɴᴅᴇʀ ᴛʜᴇ ʜɪɢʜʟɪɢʜᴛᴇᴅ ᴄᴀᴛ ᴠɪᴅᴇᴏ). Gᴇᴛ ɪᴛ ǫᴜɪᴄᴋʟʏ ʙᴇғᴏʀᴇ ᴛʜᴇʏ ᴀʀᴇ ᴀʟʟ ɢᴏɴᴇ, ᴏɴʟʏ 463 ɴᴀxx ᴋᴇʏs ʟᴇғᴛ
twitch chat
July 2014
Kripp

You have been visited by the KOMODO OF GOOD FORTUNE

twitchquotes: OSkomodo xD OSkomodo LeL OSkomodo xD OSkomodo LeL OSkomodo xD OSkomodo IF YOU SEE THIS WHILE SCROLLING you have been visited by the KOMODO OF GOOD FORTUNE. You will be blessed but only if you copy and paste this 3 times OSkomodo xD OSkomodo LeL OSkomodo xD OSkomodo LeL OSkomodo xD OSkomodo
twitch chat
October 2015

Classic

Text-to-Speech Playing