[Copypasta] It's 2036

It’s 2036. Your mom was an e girl with an onlyfans and your dad is a sadboi guitarist. 98% of the Caucasian male students in school are named Aiden. Every afternoon you come home to check on Mom because she still thinks posting memes about wanting to die are in. She sees you pull out your homework and you sigh. “No, mom. I don’t want to listen to Lo-Fi beats to study and relax to.” She looks mildly disappointed but perks up again. “No horror trap/witch house either,” you interrupt. SadDad walks in and pats you on the back, but not before saying “Aye, fam. You look a little upset, u wanna go get a face tat?”
October 2020
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Greetings r/atheism

Greetings, my fellow intellectually superior comrades. I too am an enjoyer of the fedora as well as intellectual matters and enlightenment. I am very pleased to find a space like this where intellects like me can laugh at normie th*ests and jerk off to rule 34 Rick and Morty images like the true sigma Chads we are. Truly a shame that normie sites like Instascam and Crapchat do not possess the intellectual capacity of people like us. That reminds me of a story involving one of my proudest accomplishments. I remember the reason why I got fired from my old job as a scrub, and it is truly a brave, bold, and intellectual moment that I am sure you all will be proud of. So I was doing my rounds at the hospital I was working at and someone's newborn baby has just died form birth complications. Everyone was crying and the mother's parents had assured her that the baby was "in Heaven" and "with God". (cringe, right?) Well I heard this utter nonsense through the hallway and I figured that it was my duty to put these ignoramus th* ists in their place. So I walked into the room and said straight to their faces "but God isn't real and neither is Heaven you normie th* ists. Heaven is a fairy tale made up by a book written 1,000 years ago in a desert by wannabe fantasy writers. Your sky daddy isn't real, and your baby isn't in Heaven because Heaven isn't real either. It's just all black for him like it was before he was convinced in your room. Go read 'the God delusion' by Richard Dawkins, maybe you'll grow a few brain cells." Everyone was shocked, the lady started crying and her parents and husband started yelling at me. The others were just speechless, their months agape. But I wasn't phased, it only made me proud becuase I know that when the th*ists are seething, I am right. So eventually someone must have reported me becuase a day after I got fired for "unprofessionalism and harassment". Ha! More like the simpleton folks cannot understand the intelligence of freethinkers like me, and get mad at those who tell the truth and reality check their delusion of their skydaddy. I didn't care tho. Geniuses are rarely recognized as such in their time. One day they'll look back in history and see that what I did there as well as all the other things I did were revolutionary! I can find a job with more intellectual employers anyway. I was proud to be fired for speaking the truth! Either way, I'm happy to be here, and I'm happy to destroy some skydaddy cock sucking th*ests. Also an updoot on this post would very much be appreciated and wholesome. Edit: I said UPDOOT, not DOWNDOOT! God, are you just as dumb as the th*ists now???
May 2022

Reddit

I Am Very Smart

Cat anime girl

⣿⡟⠙⠛⠋⠩⠭⣉⡛⢛⠫⠭⠄⠒⠄⠄⠄⠈⠉⠛⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⡇⠄⠄⠄⠄⣠⠖⠋⣀⡤⠄⠒⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⣈⡭⠭⠄⠄⠄⠉⠙ ⣿⡇⠄⠄⢀⣞⣡⠴⠚⠁⠄⠄⢀⠠⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠉⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⣿⡇⠄⡴⠁⡜⣵⢗⢀⠄⢠⡔⠁⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⣿⡇⡜⠄⡜⠄⠄⠄⠉⣠⠋⠠⠄⢀⡄⠄⠄⣠⣆⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢸ ⣿⠸⠄⡼⠄⠄⠄⠄⢰⠁⠄⠄⠄⠈⣀⣠⣬⣭⣛⠄⠁⠄⡄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢀⣿ ⣏⠄⢀⠁⠄⠄⠄⠄⠇⢀⣠⣴⣶⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡇⠄⠄⡇⠄⠄⠄⠄⢀⣾⣿ ⣿⣸⠈⠄⠄⠰⠾⠴⢾⣻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⢁⣾⢀⠁⠄⠄⠄⢠⢸⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣆⠄⠆⠄⣦⣶⣦⣌⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣋⣀⣈⠙⠛⡛⠌⠄⠄⠄⠄⢸⢸⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⠄⠄⠄⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠇⠈⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠈⢸⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⠄⠄⠄⠘⣿⣿⣿⡆⢀⣈⣉⢉⣿⣿⣯⣄⡄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠈⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⡟⡜⠄⠄⠄⠄⠙⠿⣿⣧⣽⣍⣾⣿⠿⠛⠁⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠃⢿⣿ ⣿⡿⠰⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠈⠉⠩⠔⠒⠉⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠐⠘⣿ ⣿⠃⠃⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⣀⢀⠄⠄⡀⡀⢀⣤⣴⣤⣤⣀⣀⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠁⢹
November 2020

Weebs

This is the shittiest reply ever Overwatch version

twitchquotes: This is the shittiest reply ever. Overwatch requires camping, booping, stunning, sleeping, hacking, slamming, aimbotting and hitting shots. There are not “positions” in Overwatch. A kickers job is LITERALLY to kick. Horrible analogy, kind of embarrassing.
twitch chat
December 2019

Kripp please lick your knee

twitchquotes: Please for the love of god Kripp just lick your goddam knee. I've been sitting here for 10 hours straight watching that boney *** knee of yours by your big lushous mouth. Please just fulfill this one wish I have and lick that sexy *** knee of yours so I can blow my creamy load all over myself and slowly fall into a deep sleep.
twitch chat
March 2014
Kripp

There are too many people that call themselves what they are not

There are too many people that call themselves what they are not, including on this very server. The design industry seems the worst, but I'm sure its the same in other professions. Everyone with 3 months of some Google class, suddenly calls themself an UI/UX Designer, while the craft (especially UX) takes years to develop. I also know a lot of professional designers that have 20+ years of experience, and still don't call themselves experts. Lucky for us, the professional market also sees through those fake designers. So, hone your craft, become better, and stop calling yourselves UI/UX Designers, when you are not. Or Full Stack Developer, when you only do HTML and CSS. Or Open Heart Surgeon, when you are only a masseuse.
July 2022
Text-to-Speech Playing