It’s 2036. Your mom was an e girl with an onlyfans and your dad is a sadboi guitarist. 98% of the Caucasian male students in school are named Aiden. Every afternoon you come home to check on Mom because she still thinks posting memes about wanting to die are in. She sees you pull out your homework and you sigh. “No, mom. I don’t want to listen to Lo-Fi beats to study and relax to.” She looks mildly disappointed but perks up again. “No horror trap/witch house either,” you interrupt. SadDad walks in and pats you on the back, but not before saying “Aye, fam. You look a little upset, u wanna go get a face tat?”
I used to be a real ad
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ACHOO uh oh you just got the Delta variant!
ACHOO‼️🤧🤧What was that⁉️⁉️😏😏Uh-oh 😯 looks like you just got 👀👀 the Delta variant! 🙀😜😜 Don’t you know 🇺🇸⁉️🤢🤕🤒🤤 the world 🌍 HOE Organization 🙈👅 called it the most DOMINANT 👊🏼👊🏼 strain since the start of the 🗓 PANTIE-DEMIC 👄👌👈 No more touching daddy 😩😩 🧓🏼 until you wash 🧽🧽your dirty 🐾nasty 🤢 little 🤞🏼fingers ✋🏻🤚🏻✋🏻🤚🏻for 6️⃣9️⃣ seconds with sHOEp 🧼 and water 💧 👅 otherwise it doesn’t count 🤡🤡🤡 Time to stop 🛑 spreading the germs 🤮🥴🤒and start spreading 😧your legs🤤🦶🏽🦵🏻because everyone 👩🦰👨🏫🦹🏾♂️🧜🏼♂️has to keep TWERKING 😈😈from home! 🏡 SEND THIS TO 1️⃣0️⃣ other coronavirus cucks 👉🏾👌🏻otherwise Fuckboy Fauci 🙀🙀 is cumming for you 🍆🍑🍆
Emoji Pasta
Coronavirus
COVID
Kripp complains
twitchquotes:
The opponent mulligans his cards. "Oh my god dude, are you kidding me?" says Kripp. The opponent plays a 2 drop. "Seriously dude? This is crazy." The opponent draws a card at the start of their turn. "No fckin way dude, I can't beat that." The opponent hero powers. "This is some crazy RNG bullshit" says Kripp.
twitch chat
Kripp
Hearthstone
salty
Lord Microsoft
10:43 PM, Microsoft Tower, Washington.
A figure stands in shadow, red lights from the theistic ceiling flood the spacious hall. Along the sides, hallmark pieces of technology are proudly displayed on golden pedestals. The Xbox, Windows, Hololens; At the center of it all, the vaccine.
"Microsoft Microbe Covid-19" the label on the syringe reads. A glowing substance can be seen sitting still inside.
Monitors flicker to life at the end of the hall, each one showing the point of view of an innocent civilian. The light draws a silhouette of a man. His body, frail. His skin is leathery and rugged. Breathing apparatus cover his face, a cold green mist slowly spewing out.
The grand door opens, humanoids armed with weapons drag an unkempt and furious man towards the being in shadow. They throw him to the floor, spit slathering the ground.
"This is the last one?" the figure asks.
"Yes, Lord Microsoft. all 4,607,423,673 other citizens have been accounted for."
The rugged man looks upwards, his face bloodied and bruised. His eyes meet Lord Microsoft's. Puffed from tears, his eyes can only show one emotion: anger.
"Bill Gates, you piece of shit. I swore to Samantha that if I ever-"
"Silence, creature!" Lord Microsoft slaps him with the back of his hand. "I am lord Microsoft, and you will refer to me as such!"
The guards grab the man, hoisting him up.
"Now, let us delay no further. It has taken me years to get to this point, and I will not have my victory denied!" Lord Microsoft grabs the vaccine and primes it for injection.
"Such a small thing, isn't it? Yet, it has afforded me the right to dominate all life on Earth. Covid was a blessing, not a curse."
The man's eyes widened, he screams in retaliation, but the guards shut his mouth with force. Lord Microsoft pierces his flesh with the needle. A flourescent orange liquid can be seen coursing through his veins. He falls to the floor, his muscles tightening and constricting in unnatural fashion. His eyes bulge from his skull and he shouts in pain.
He slumps over, and in only a moment he comes back to his feet. His pupils dilated and his skin, pale.
"How may I serve you, my lord."
COVID
Coronavirus
When I was 13, I came out to my parents as a Morbius male.
When i was 13, i came out to my parents as a morbius male. They couldnt accept my morbality, so they sent me off to camp. They just didnt understand— i was morbed that way. At the camp, they gave us electromorb therapy to morb us into beta males. I resisted the treatment, being a morbius male, you cant morb me out of being morbed. I fooled the counselors into thinking they had successfully morbed be into a beta male, and i returned home. To this day, i live a double life— one for my parents, who still cannot accept morbality, and one where its always morbin time.
Morbius
Anime girl 9
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