It’s 2036. Your mom was an e girl with an onlyfans and your dad is a sadboi guitarist. 98% of the Caucasian male students in school are named Aiden. Every afternoon you come home to check on Mom because she still thinks posting memes about wanting to die are in. She sees you pull out your homework and you sigh. “No, mom. I don’t want to listen to Lo-Fi beats to study and relax to.” She looks mildly disappointed but perks up again. “No horror trap/witch house either,” you interrupt. SadDad walks in and pats you on the back, but not before saying “Aye, fam. You look a little upset, u wanna go get a face tat?”
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Barry Bee Benson (Bee Movie)
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My average IQ after taking IQ tests...
twitchquotes:
My average IQ after taking IQ tests from accredited psychologist is 134.5 ←Only 2% of the human population score that high. I'm very close to genius level IQ. You calling me stupid is like some one calling Albert Einstein stupid. Which makes one of us look stupid. Hint: Not me.
twitch chat
I can’t escape Fortnite
twitchquotes:
I can’t escape Fortnite. I was on an airplane half an hour ago and through my headphones I heard some guy ask, “Do you play Fortnite?”. At first I couldn’t process the words, but I understood after he reiterated. “Dude, do you play Fortnite?” Then I heard someone respond behind me. “Fortnite?” Then another. “Yeah, that game.” I couldn’t shut them out before the cabin erupted into a chorus of Fortnite conversations. I felt like I was being suffocated. The man previously sleeping beside me woke up suddenly and contributed with “where we droppin' boys?”. The crying kid across the aisle stopped kicking and screaming just to say “Tilted Towers!”
twitch chat
Fortnite
Qtpie, this is your dad here
twitchquotes:
qtpie, this is your dad here. i just wanted to say how proud of you i am son, always hiding in your room playing your video games, talking to your internet friends. your mom and i think that's swell and we just wanted to let you know we love you. pls no copy dadderino
twitch chat
imaqtpie
League of Legends
Plants Vs Zombies Review
This game much bad! My son saw this game and told me,"daddy this game i much want, buy for me please." So I buy it for him. But little later, he come to me and say, "daddy this game much scary." I look at it and it say "Zombies eat your brains!!!" And to me was shock. How can this game be for kids? This game has plants, violins and zombies eat your vegetables! Zombies eat no vegetable, my son eat vegetable! Now my son is in hospital and taking pills for his shock. Thanking you for nothing EA games. I rate this gate 16 and over! You have being warninged!