It’s 2036. Your mom was an e girl with an onlyfans and your dad is a sadboi guitarist. 98% of the Caucasian male students in school are named Aiden. Every afternoon you come home to check on Mom because she still thinks posting memes about wanting to die are in. She sees you pull out your homework and you sigh. “No, mom. I don’t want to listen to Lo-Fi beats to study and relax to.” She looks mildly disappointed but perks up again. “No horror trap/witch house either,” you interrupt. SadDad walks in and pats you on the back, but not before saying “Aye, fam. You look a little upset, u wanna go get a face tat?”
I used to be a real ad
More Copypastas
A middle-aged man complaining about an online card game
twitchquotes:
ʏᴏᴜ ᴀʀᴇ ᴀ ᴍɪᴅᴅʟᴇ-ᴀɢᴇᴅ ᴍᴀɴ ᴄᴏᴍᴘʟᴀɪɴɪɴɢ ᴀʙᴏᴜᴛ ᴄʜɪʟᴅʀᴇɴ ʙᴇᴀᴛɪɴɢ ʏᴏᴜ ɪɴ ᴀɴ ᴏɴʟɪɴᴇ ᴄᴀʀᴅ ɢᴀᴍᴇ. ᴀɴᴅ ᴘᴇᴏᴘʟᴇ ᴘᴀʏ ʏᴏᴜ $4.99 ᴛᴏ ᴅᴏ sᴏ. ᴍᴀʏʙᴇ ʏᴏᴜ sʜᴏᴜʟᴅ ᴄᴏɴsɪᴅᴇʀ ᴘᴜᴛᴛɪɴɢ ᴛʜɪɴɢs ɪɴ ᴘᴇʀsᴘᴇᴄᴛɪᴠᴇ ʏᴏᴜ ʙɪɢ ʙᴀʙʏ.
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Kripp
Among us crewmate running ass
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Among Us / Amogus
People Who Fake Disorders Be Like
Red is the color of blood and that’s offensive and scary. Please refrain from using or ever mentioning the color red, as that is a trigger for me.
A trigger of what you ask? One of my 20 disorders. ADHD, DID, Tourettes, OCD, anxiety, BPD, depression, OSDD, PTSD, Obesity, CPTSD, schizophrenia, psychosis, anorexia, and many many more.
Prove it? Oh, let me switch real fast
tics and throws phone across room OwO h-h-hello… this is Dream 🎾 (he/they) (5 years old) (trauma holder) uwu. You were just speaking to Zay🔥 (they/them) (22 years old) (Leader of the system) OwO do you be-be-believe me now? Sorry for the stutter, I was born with it 🤪😘🥸😘🥸
*switches back to Zay🔥 (They/them) (22 years old) (leader of the system) I told you 😎 but you didn’t believe me. Just wait to be canceled by all the Twitter users. Twitter, do your thing 😜
Ben Shapiro ordering pizza
Hello, is this Pizza Hut?
Excellent. My name is Ben Shapiro. Conservative thought leader. Prominent white YouTuber. The Muggsy Bogues of the intellectual dark Web. And—look, it’s just a fact—I would like to order some pizza pie. If you are triggered by that request, I do not care. I truly do not.
Now let’s discuss conditions. First, thank you for agreeing to debate me. Typically, in fora such as this, I am met with ad-hominem mudslinging, anything from “You racist creep” or “Is that your real voice?” to raucous schoolyard laughter and threats of the dreaded “toilet swirly.” However, your willingness to engage with me over the phone on the subject of pizza shows an intellectual fortitude and openness to dangerous ideas which reflects highly on your character. Huzzah, good sir. Huzzah.
Second, any pizza I order will be male. None of this “Our pizza identifies as trans-fluid-pan-poly”—no. Pizza is a boy. With a penis. It’s that simple. It’s been true for all of human history, from Plato to Socrates to Mr. Mistoffelees, and any attempt to rewrite the pillars of Western thought will be met with a hearty “Fuh!” by yours truly. And, trust me, that is not a fate you wish to meet.
Now. With regard to my topping preference. I have eaten from your pizzeria in times past, and it must be said: your pepperoni is embarrassingly spicy. Frankly, it boggles the mind. I mean, what kind of drugs are you inhaling over there? Pot?! One bite of that stuff and I had to take a shower. So tread lightly when it comes to spice, my good man. You do not want to see me at my most epic. Like the great white hero of Zack Snyder’s classic film “300,” I will kick you.
Onions, peppers—no, thank you. If I wanted veggies, I’d go to a salad bar. I’m not some sort of vegan, Cory Booker weirdo. And your efforts to Michelle Obama-ize the great American pizza pie are, frankly, hilarious. Though not as funny as the impressively named P’Zone—when I finally figured out that genuinely creative pun, I laughed until I cried and peed. A true Spartan admits defeat, and I must admit that, in this instance, your Hut humor slayed me, Dennis Miller style.
And, with that, you have earned my order. Congratulations. Ahem. Without further ado, I would like your smallest child pizza, no sauce, extra cheese. Hello? Aha. A hang-up. Another triggered lib, bested by logic. Damn it. I’m fucking starving.
Ben Shapiro
Red sus but with emojis (Among Us)
twitchquotes:
Red 🔴 📛 sus 💦 💦. Red 🔴 🔴 suuuus. I 👁👄 👁 said 🤠🗣 💬👱🏿💦 red 👹 🔴, sus 💦 💦, hahahahaha 🤣 🤣. Why 
arent you 👉😯 👈 laughing 😂 😂? I 👁🍊 👥 just made 👑 👑 a reference 👀👄🙀 👀👄🙀 to the popular 👍😁😂 😂 video 📹 📹 game 🎮 🎮 "Among 🇷🇴🎛 💰 Us 👨 👨"! How can you 👈 👈 not laugh 😂 😂 at it? Emergeny meeting 💯 🤝! Guys 👦 👨, this here guy 👨 👱🏻👨🏻 doesnt laugh 🤣 ☑😂😅 at my funny 😃😂 🍺😛😃 Among 💰 💰 Us 👨 👨 memes 🐸 😂! Lets 🙆 🙆 beat ✊👊🏻 😰👊 him 👴 👨 to death 💀💥❓ 💀! Dead 💀😂 ☠ body 💃 💃 reported ☎ 🧐! Skip 🐧 🏃🏼! Skip 🐧 🐧! Vote 🔝 🔝 blue 💙 💙! Blue 💙 💙 was not an impostor 😎 😠. Among 😂 🙆🏽🅰 us 👨 👨 in a nutshell 😠 😠 hahahaha 😂👌👋 😂. What?! Youre still 🤞🙌 🤞🙌 not laughing 😂 😂 your 
ass 🍑 🅰 off 📴 📴☠? I 👁 👁 made 👑 👑 SEVERAL 💯 💯 funny 😀😂😛 😃❓ references 👀👄🙀 📖 to Among 💰 💑👨❤️👨👩❤️👩 Us 👨 🇺🇸 and YOU 👈🏼 😂👉🔥 STILL 🤞🙌 🙄 ARENT LAUGHING 😂 😂😎💦??!!! Bruh ⚠ 😳🤣😂. Ya 🙏🎼 🙀 hear 👂 👂 that? Wooooooosh 💦👽👾 💦👽👾. Whats 😦 😦 woooosh 🚁 🚁? Oh 🙀 🙀, nothing ❌ 🚫. Just the sound 👂 🔊 of a joke 😂 😂 flying ✈ ✈ over 😳🙊💦 🔁 your head 💆 💆. Whats 😦 that? You 👈 think 💭 💭 im 👌 💘 annoying 😠 😠? Kinda 🙅 🙅 sus 💦 💦, bro 👆 🌈☺👬. Hahahaha 😂 😂! Anyway 🔛 🔛, yea 😀 💯, gotta go 🏃 🏃 do tasks ✔ 📋. Hahahaha 😂 😂!
arent you 👉😯 👈 laughing 😂 😂? I 👁🍊 👥 just made 👑 👑 a reference 👀👄🙀 👀👄🙀 to the popular 👍😁😂 😂 video 📹 📹 game 🎮 🎮 "Among 🇷🇴🎛 💰 Us 👨 👨"! How can you 👈 👈 not laugh 😂 😂 at it? Emergeny meeting 💯 🤝! Guys 👦 👨, this here guy 👨 👱🏻👨🏻 doesnt laugh 🤣 ☑😂😅 at my funny 😃😂 🍺😛😃 Among 💰 💰 Us 👨 👨 memes 🐸 😂! Lets 🙆 🙆 beat ✊👊🏻 😰👊 him 👴 👨 to death 💀💥❓ 💀! Dead 💀😂 ☠ body 💃 💃 reported ☎ 🧐! Skip 🐧 🏃🏼! Skip 🐧 🐧! Vote 🔝 🔝 blue 💙 💙! Blue 💙 💙 was not an impostor 😎 😠. Among 😂 🙆🏽🅰 us 👨 👨 in a nutshell 😠 😠 hahahaha 😂👌👋 😂. What?! Youre still 🤞🙌 🤞🙌 not laughing 😂 😂 your ass 🍑 🅰 off 📴 📴☠? I 👁 👁 made 👑 👑 SEVERAL 💯 💯 funny 😀😂😛 😃❓ references 👀👄🙀 📖 to Among 💰 💑👨❤️👨👩❤️👩 Us 👨 🇺🇸 and YOU 👈🏼 😂👉🔥 STILL 🤞🙌 🙄 ARENT LAUGHING 😂 😂😎💦??!!! Bruh ⚠ 😳🤣😂. Ya 🙏🎼 🙀 hear 👂 👂 that? Wooooooosh 💦👽👾 💦👽👾. Whats 😦 😦 woooosh 🚁 🚁? Oh 🙀 🙀, nothing ❌ 🚫. Just the sound 👂 🔊 of a joke 😂 😂 flying ✈ ✈ over 😳🙊💦 🔁 your head 💆 💆. Whats 😦 that? You 👈 think 💭 💭 im 👌 💘 annoying 😠 😠? Kinda 🙅 🙅 sus 💦 💦, bro 👆 🌈☺👬. Hahahaha 😂 😂! Anyway 🔛 🔛, yea 😀 💯, gotta go 🏃 🏃 do tasks ✔ 📋. Hahahaha 😂 😂!
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