[Copypasta] It's 2036

It’s 2036. Your mom was an e girl with an onlyfans and your dad is a sadboi guitarist. 98% of the Caucasian male students in school are named Aiden. Every afternoon you come home to check on Mom because she still thinks posting memes about wanting to die are in. She sees you pull out your homework and you sigh. “No, mom. I don’t want to listen to Lo-Fi beats to study and relax to.” She looks mildly disappointed but perks up again. “No horror trap/witch house either,” you interrupt. SadDad walks in and pats you on the back, but not before saying “Aye, fam. You look a little upset, u wanna go get a face tat?”
October 2020
(▀̿Ĺ̯├┬┴┬┴ Psst... kid, you wanna disable adblock?
More Copypastas

Bro, you MASHING right now!

twitchquotes: Last night, I dreamt I was the head chef at an Italian restaurant, and a notoriously-picky food critic was waiting for his meal. I was terrified. His review would make or break my career as a chef. I spent an hour cooking up the best pasta I had ever made, and brought it out to his table. But the moment I came up to him, he turned to me and shouted "Bro, you MASHING right now!" I was stunned. It was NairoMK. I woke up in a cold sweat.
twitch chat
November 2019
NairoMK

Super Smash Bros

Kid you wanna see an awesome deck?

twitchquotes: Yesterday after he went offline, i was walking down Greece.. and i saw lurky shadowy person behind a wall.. i recognized him as Octavian (Kripp) after spectating him for 25mins.. he was trying to lure kids in.."(▀̿Ĺ̯├┬┴┬┴ Psst.. kid you wanna see an awesome deck?"?
twitch chat
October 2014
Kripp

Ricardo

⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢴⡶⣶⣶⣶⡒⣶⣶⣖⠢⡄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢠⣿⣋⣿⣿⣉⣿⣿⣯⣧⡰⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⣿⣿⣹⣿⣿⣏⣿⣿⡗⣿⣿⠁⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠟⡛⣉⣭⣭⣭⠌⠛⡻⢿⣿⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⣤⡌⣿⣷⣯⣭⣿⡆⣈⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⢛⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢻⣷⣽⣿⣿⣿⢿⠃⣼⣧⣀⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⣛⣻⣿⠟⣀⡜⣻⢿⣿⣿⣶⣤⡀⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢠⣤⣀⣨⣥⣾⢟⣧⣿⠸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣤⡀⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢟⣫⣯⡻⣋⣵⣟⡼⣛⠴⣫⣭⣽⣿⣷⣭⡻⣦⡀⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢰⣿⣿⣿⢏⣽⣿⢋⣾⡟⢺⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⢹⣷⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⣿⣿⣿⢣⣿⣿⣿⢸⣿⡇⣾⣿⠏⠉⣿⣿⣿⡇⣿⣿⡆ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⣿⣿⣿⢸⣿⣿⣿⠸⣿⡇⣿⣿⡆⣼⣿⣿⣿⡇⣿⣿⡇ ⠇⢀⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠘⣿⣿⡘⣿⣿⣷⢀⣿⣷⣿⣿⡿⠿⢿⣿⣿⡇⣩⣿⡇ ⣿⣿⠃⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢻⣷⠙⠛⠋⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣶⣿⣿⣿⡇⣿⣿⡇
May 2019

Every 60 seconds in Murica, 60000 burgers are digested

twitchquotes: ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) Eᴠᴇʀʏ 60 sᴇᴄᴏɴᴅs ɪɴ Mᴜʀɪᴄᴀ, 60,000 ʙᴜʀɢᴇʀs ᴀʀᴇ ᴅɪɢᴇsᴛᴇᴅ. Tᴏɢᴇᴛʜᴇʀ ᴡᴇ ᴄᴀɴ sᴛᴏᴘ ᴛʜɪs. Pʟᴇᴀsᴇ sᴘʀᴇᴀᴅ ᴛʜᴇ ᴡᴏʀᴅ. ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)
twitch chat
December 2014
Kripp

I'm going to kill that prosterino

twitchquotes: The Prostitute asks the Kripp, "Why don't you make a D3 video?" Kripp flies into a rage and hits her with an ornate salt shaker yelling, "I'm going to kill that prosterino!" When the cops finally caught him, after the 2 hour shootout, Kripp lies bleeding on the ground and mutters weakly to the sky..."I played that perfectly, nothing I coulda done cough what a joke.."
twitch chat
July 2014
Kripp
Text-to-Speech Playing