[Copypasta] So that was a bruh moment

twitchquotes: She said she was “pregnant,” but I wasn’t buying that. I knew she had gas, and a lot of it. I knew that, if properly coaxed out, she had to potential for the greatest fart *EVER*. So one night I walked into her room and slowly approached her belly, and with my entire weight, I performed the greatest pile driver I have ever done. But instead of the thunderous sound expected, I heard a squish sound. Turns out she was pregnant. So that was a bruh moment.
twitch chat
November 2020
What happened to this ad? :(
More Copypastas

I want JPow to use his full range of tools on me 😫

I want JPow to use his full range of tools on me 😫
December 2020

WallStreetBets

Joker

░░░░░░▄▄▄░▐▄▀▄▀▄▒░░▒▄▄▄▄░▄░░▌░░ ░░░░▄▀░▄░▐▐▄▀▄▀▒░░░▀░░░░▀░▄▀▐░░ ░░░█░▌░░▌░▐▐▀▄▀▒░░░▒▌██▐░░▌▄▐░░ ░░▐░▐░░░▐░▌▐▐░▐░░░░░░▀▀░░░░░▀▌░ ░░▌░▌░░░░▌▐▄▀░▀▄▒░░░░░░░▄▀▄░░▐░ ░▐▐░▌░░░░▐▐░▌▄▀▄▀▄▀▄▀▄▀█▄▄▄░░░▌ ░▌░░▌▌░░░░▌░▐▄▀▄▀▄▀▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▀▄▄▀ ░▐░░▌▌░░░░▐░░▌▀▄▀▄▀█▄█▀█▀█▀░░░░ ░▌▌░▌▌░░░░░▌░▐▀▄▀▄▀▄▀▄█▄█▄░░░░░ ▐░░░▐▐░░░░░▐▐░▌▄▀▄▀▄▀▄▀▀▀▄▀█░░░ ▌▌░░░▌▌░░░░░█▐░▌▀▄▀▄▀▄▀▄▀░▄▐▄░░
ascii art
November 2014

Where were u when USSR fell?

twitchquotes: Where were u when USSR fell? I was in gulag tourturing prisoner when t-34 tank came "Stalin is kil" "Nyet"
twitch chat
January 2020

Stroll in my local GameStop

stroll into my local GameStop looking to pick up a copy of Binding of Isaac grab the game and take it to the charming maiden at the register "Pardon me, milady...but could you ring me up? A shame I don't have your number or I'd ring you up instead..." she giggles and takes the game, blushing as her fingers brush mine due to my fingerless gloves her eyes widen as she reads the game's title "Wow, I've never seen anyone buy this before! You must have special taste!" I smile and ready a witty response when suddenly a voice rings out from behind "Hahaha look at what this ♥♥♥♥♥♥ is buying! That's not Call of Duty Advanced Memefare! What a piece of ♥♥♥♥!" I quickly turn around, my cloak billowing behind me, to discern the source of the rude outburst generic dudebro caricature with a sports team cap and "the guy that beat you up that one time behind the school in early October" shirt is standing there guffawing "Excuse me sir...you may disparage my person if you wish, but it is untoward to swear in front of a lady." "♥♥♥♥ you ♥♥♥♥♥♥!" I smile quietly and tip my fedora low across my eyes, concealing them "As you wish..." I quickly swing my cane into his kneecap before he can react he bellows and charges forward I expertly sidestep him and the cashier screams as he crashes into the counter I draw my sword-cane and mutter a quiet oath as I drive it deep into his back "...requiescat in pace..." As I clean my blade the girl walks out from behind the counter, twirling her hair with her fingers "So...maybe you'd like to come over to my place to play that game sometime...? "No thanks, milady, it's only single player. Besides..." I sheath my sword "You're not my type." skate away on my Heelys
January 2021

Classic

Professional Iron Players league

twitchquotes: I think it's really nice that Riot Games™ provides iron players a league to play "professionally" in. They even let this so called "LCS" participate at Worlds with up to 3 teams! It really shows how progressive Riot Games™ really is.
twitch chat
July 2020
LCS

League of Legends

More Copypastas
Text-to-Speech Playing