[Copypasta] So that was a bruh moment

twitchquotes: She said she was “pregnant,” but I wasn’t buying that. I knew she had gas, and a lot of it. I knew that, if properly coaxed out, she had to potential for the greatest fart *EVER*. So one night I walked into her room and slowly approached her belly, and with my entire weight, I performed the greatest pile driver I have ever done. But instead of the thunderous sound expected, I heard a squish sound. Turns out she was pregnant. So that was a bruh moment.
twitch chat
November 2020
(▀̿Ĺ̯├┬┴┬┴ Psst... kid, you wanna disable adblock?
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Fungus wojak / Shroomjak / Shrigma male

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ascii art
July 2021

He fills my butt with his Blood Thirster

twitchquotes: I sᴘʀᴇᴀᴅ ᴍʏ ʙᴜᴛᴛᴄʜᴇᴇᴋs ғᴏʀ QT. Hᴇ ᴘᴇɴᴇᴛʀᴀᴛᴇs ᴍᴇ. I ᴄᴀɴ ғᴇᴇʟ ᴍʏ ʙᴜᴛᴛ ᴛᴇᴀʀɪɴɢ ᴀs ᴍʏ ᴇʏᴇs sᴛᴀʀᴛ ᴛᴏ ᴡᴀᴛᴇʀ. I ᴡᴀɴᴛ ᴛᴏ ᴘʟᴇᴀsᴇ ʜɪᴍ. Hᴇ ʀᴏᴀʀs ᴀ ᴍɪɢʜᴛʏ ʀᴏᴀʀ ᴀs ʜᴇ ғɪʟʟʟs ᴍʏ ʙᴜᴛᴛ ᴡɪᴛʜ ʜɪs Bʟᴏᴏᴅ Tʜɪʀsᴛᴇʀ.
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July 2014
imaqtpie

Cinco de Mayo Emoji Pasta v2

It's Cinco de mayo... 👀🌮🎉 but all I want 🙏🏻 is cinco DICKS 🌯 in my May-OUTH 😩👅💦 Today the SEXicans 😍🇲🇽 beat the French 😒🇫🇷 at the Battle of Puebla 🔫☠ and now you're gonna get your piñata beat 😜😩 with a huge stick 😳🎉 but ❗️ONLY❗️ if you send 📲 this to 5️⃣ amigos 👬 you'd cross borders ➡️ for 👌🏻💯 Get 5️⃣ back 🔙 and you'll find the Juan for you tonight ❤️☺️😘
May 2022

Cinco de Mayo

Emoji Pasta

Holiday Emoji

Holiday

The pandemic in 2028 is kinda sus

Year is 2028 The pandemic has gotten so bad we are all forced to wear colored isolation suits with their own oxygen tank and no hands for contact. Those infected are turned into sociopathic murders that try to secretly kill everyone, but still dress and act like the rest of us. I work as a spaceship engineer in the Skled along with 9 other people. We just got notified that one among us was infected, but we still have to keep maintaining the ship otherwise it will explode. We are trying to figure out who it is by voting. 2 of us are already dead and i saw red vent, but nobody believes me. I think the others want to vote me off. This might be the last thing i'll write. Goodbye. Tell me wife i love her.
January 2022

Among Us / Amogus

Coronavirus

COVID

Dear host EZ 🍷 of digital streams EZ 🍷

twitchquotes: Dear host EZ 🍷 of digital streams EZ 🍷 gentlemen from chat EZ 🍷 ask you to include male music EZ 🍷 with vocals EZ 🍷 of Gachirian era EZ 🍷
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March 2020

KappaPride

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