[Copypasta] So that was a bruh moment

twitchquotes: She said she was “pregnant,” but I wasn’t buying that. I knew she had gas, and a lot of it. I knew that, if properly coaxed out, she had to potential for the greatest fart *EVER*. So one night I walked into her room and slowly approached her belly, and with my entire weight, I performed the greatest pile driver I have ever done. But instead of the thunderous sound expected, I heard a squish sound. Turns out she was pregnant. So that was a bruh moment.
twitch chat
November 2020
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Every E-Sport needs their clown

twitchquotes: Every E-Sport needs their clown. We are privileged to have someone like Kripp in the Hearthstone community.
twitch chat
November 2014
Kripp

Reynad, I admire you because you invented all the decks

twitchquotes: Reynad, I admire you because you invented all the decks. Thus, you invented my deck even if you never saw my deck.
twitch chat
November 2014
Reynad

NOT ANOTHER CHILDREN'S CARD GAME

twitchquotes: Kripp sighs sitting at the dinner table. “I have to play hearthstone again, FUCK!” Rania consoles him, “It’s okay sweetheart. I love you.” Kripp responds in tears “I have been having fun playing POE but I only got 6k viewers last night, how will we eat if I don’t play that goddamned Hearthstone for these morons!” Rania wraps her arms around Kripp’s neck, “It’s okay baby, it’ll be different, when Artifact comes out!” Kripp lets out a scream, “NOT ANOTHER FUCKING CHILDREN’S CARD GAME!”
twitch chat
November 2018
Kripp

Artifact

Salt Down Zone

twitchquotes: Attention: Thank you for coming to Kripp Aryan's show! The greatest show on Earth! Please, those of you in rows 1-8 must be aware you are in the "Salt Down Zone". If you do not want to be sprayed with salt, please see attendant. We have complimentary ponchos. Enjoy the show!.
twitch chat
April 2015
Kripp

Sheldon says BAZINGA

"I've never been a fan of Internet Explorer" Crowd laughs nervously and a few grunts are heard from the back seats as people edge closer to hear the punchline. "Why not? Don't you like the internet?" The crowd suddenly stands up, aware that they are about to receive what they came for. People slowly edge closer to the set as Sheldon prepares for his next line. Sweat is clearly visible on his brow and his mouth is quivering in anticipation as he readies himself for what is about to happen. "I just prefer Firefox because, like the fox, I am cunning and nimble." The crowd suddenly surges forward as the words escape Sheldon's mouth. They are so powerful, they almost shake the very foundations of the CBS studios. He watches as, in what he perceives as slow motion, the crowd moves toward his fragile body. He has been preparing for this moment his whole life. This is his moment. This is his Emmy. This is his Golden Globe. This is even his Oscar. The crowd converges around him so quickly they ignore the trampled cries of Leonard and Penny, who now lie shaking on the floor, their bones crushed by the sheer mass of the crowd. Sheldon stares back at the eyes around him. What he sees are no longer people. What he sees is the human psyche stripped down to its core. Their lives, what they were before this moment has been forgotten. Ravenous. Hungry. They want one thing from him. Sheldon closes his eyes, clears his mind and relaxes his body. What happens next depends completely on the next few seconds. The time between this and what he mutters next feels like an eternity. Slowly, he opens his eyes. He looks at Leonard, then at Penny, both lying lifeless on the floor. Without a second thought, he says with resounding conviction... "BAZINGA" In a split second, the crowd pounces on his ready and waiting body. Man, woman, child all at once. Sheldon cries out in complete ecstasy as they consume his flesh. He stops suddenly, as he drifts into eternal slumber. Peace at last.
April 2021
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