[Copypasta] So that was a bruh moment

twitchquotes: She said she was “pregnant,” but I wasn’t buying that. I knew she had gas, and a lot of it. I knew that, if properly coaxed out, she had to potential for the greatest fart *EVER*. So one night I walked into her room and slowly approached her belly, and with my entire weight, I performed the greatest pile driver I have ever done. But instead of the thunderous sound expected, I heard a squish sound. Turns out she was pregnant. So that was a bruh moment.
twitch chat
November 2020
I used to be a real ad
More Copypastas

I love Art of Conquest!

twitchquotes: My $0.99 starter bundle put me well above the other players. But, when I reached the first enemy castle. I couldn't beat it. I checked the in game shop. "BONUS SILVER TROOPS $4.99 EXPIRES IN 3:14:28" I happily spent $4.99. Shortly after I came across an elite boss I couldnt beat. So I checked the in game shop. "BONUS GOLD TROOPS. 5000 RESOURCES. $19.99 EXPIRES IN 1:05:39" It's about to expire! I quickly entered my credit card and bought the bundle, it was such a steal. I love Art of Conquest!
twitch chat
January 2018
Kripp

sellout

I hate that guy's emotes so much

twitchquotes: I hate that guy's emotes so much. They all look like some 6 year old made them in MS Paint, and I'm not talking about the purposefully bad ones. And all they do is portray emotions already done by the default emotes; The best custom emotes are ones that do things you can't easily do with the defaults. And the insufferable people who use those emotes find any reason to use any of them, even if they're not related, because they're that proud of a 4.99 purchase. I'd rather sub to a guy I liked watc
twitch chat
September 2017
MOONMOON

Illuminati confirmed. Get rekt CLG

twitchquotes: FInals being played in MSG. Who else plays in MSG? The Knicks. Who's with the Knicks? Phil Jackson. What is Phil Jackson famous for? 3-peats. What is TSM trying to do today? 3-peat. Illuminati confirmed. Get rekt CLG.
twitch chat
August 2015
Riot Games

League of Legends

Getting meme'd

twitchquotes: Kripp my friend bought your Stupid Lizard shirt and he told me he got meme'd! I can't believe you'd go out in the world and do that? Meme someone. I'll have you know my best dog was meme'd back in 'Nam. It ruined him. RIP dog
twitch chat
January 2015
Kripp

I sexually Identify as the Bolshevik Revolution of 1917

twitchquotes: I sexually Identify as the Bolshevik Revolution of 1917. Ever since I was a boy I dreamed of seizing the means of production from the dirty bourgeoisie. People say to me that a person being a historical communist revolution is Impossible and I'm fucking retarded but I don't care, I'm beautiful. I'm having a plastic surgeon instal hammers, sickles, and other assorted proletariat farming tools on my body. From now on I want you guys to call me "Comrade" and respect my right to seize the means of production and free the working class. If you can't accept me you're an oppressor and need to check your capitalist privileges. Thank you for being so understanding.
twitch chat
June 2017

I sexually Identify as

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