[Copypasta] So that was a bruh moment

twitchquotes: She said she was “pregnant,” but I wasn’t buying that. I knew she had gas, and a lot of it. I knew that, if properly coaxed out, she had to potential for the greatest fart *EVER*. So one night I walked into her room and slowly approached her belly, and with my entire weight, I performed the greatest pile driver I have ever done. But instead of the thunderous sound expected, I heard a squish sound. Turns out she was pregnant. So that was a bruh moment.
twitch chat
November 2020
I used to be a real ad
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Salt Down Zone

twitchquotes: Attention: Thank you for coming to Kripp Aryan's show! The greatest show on Earth! Please, those of you in rows 1-8 must be aware you are in the "Salt Down Zone". If you do not want to be sprayed with salt, please see attendant. We have complimentary ponchos. Enjoy the show!.
twitch chat
April 2015
Kripp

PepeLaugh

⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠿⠟⠛⠻⠿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠿⠿⠿⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠟⠉⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠉⢟⠉⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠈⢻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠃⠄⠄⠤⠐⠉⠉⠉⠉⠉⠒⠬⡣⠤⠤⠄⠄⠄⠤⠤⠿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⠁⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠠⢀⡒⠤⠭⠅⠚⣓⡆⡆⣔⡙⠓⠚⠛⠄⣹⠿⣿ ⣿⠟⠁⡌⠄⠄⠄⢀⠤⠬⠐⣈⠠⡤⠤⠤⣤⠤⢄⡉⢁⣀⣠⣤⣤⣀⣐⡖⢦⣽ ⠏⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠐⠄⡿⠛⠯⠍⠭⣉⣉⠉⠍⢀⢀⡀⠉⠉⠉⠒⠒⠂⠄⣻ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠩⠵⠒⠒⠲⢒⡢⡉⠁⢐⡀⠬⠍⠁⢉⣉⣴⣿⣿ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠉⢉⣒⡉⠁⠁⠄⠄⠉⠂⠙⣉⣁⣀⣙⡿⣿⣿ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢠⠄⡖⢉⠥⢤⠐⢲⠒⢲⠒⢲⠒⠲⡒⠒⡖⢲⠂⠄⢀⣿ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠈⢆⡑⢄⠳⢾⠒⢺⠒⢺⠒⠚⡖⠄⡏⠉⣞⠞⠁⣠⣾⣿ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢆⠄⠄⠄⠈⠢⠉⠢⠍⣘⣒⣚⣒⣚⣒⣒⣉⠡⠤⣔⣾⣿⣿⣿ ⠷⣤⠄⣀⠄⠄⠄⠈⠁⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢀⣤⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⠄⠄⠉⠐⠢⠭⠄⢀⣒⣒⡒⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⣀⡠⠶⢶⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠈⠁⠈⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠈⠻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿
ascii art
December 2018

Pepe

PogOff

⠄⣴⣶⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣤⣀ ⠄⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⠄⣾⣿⠿⠛⣉⣁⣤⣤⣤⣤⣬⣽⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡟⠛⠛⠛⠻⠿⠿⣿ ⣾⣿⣿⣶⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣶⣶⣶⣤⡈ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⠛⢋⠉⠩⠉⢩⣙⠛⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠿⠿⠿⠿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠿⠶⢶⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣧⣶⣏⣁⡁⣐⣆⠈⢻ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⢋⣥⣤⡌⢻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣭⣭⣭⣿⣾⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠿⢀⣿⣿⡿⢁⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⢋⣴⣿⣿⠏⢡⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡟⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⡈⠙⠛⠛⠻⢃⣼⣿⣿⠏⣐⠻⠿⠿⠿⠿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡜⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⡿⢳⣾⣿⣿⠋⣼⣿⣷⣄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠈⠄⢀⣾⣿⣆⠹⣿⣿⡿⠛⠋⠁ ⣿⣿⡟⣀⣿⣿⣿⠛⣠⣄⢹⣿⣿⣧⣤⣄⣀⣤⣶⣾⣿⡿⣿⡆⢻⡟⠁⢀⡀⠄ ⣿⣿⣷⣿⣿⣿⢣⣾⣿⣿⠄⠉⠄⠄⠈⠉⠉⠃⠉⠉⠛⠃⠉⠈⣾⣷⠾⠟⠁⢠ ⠈⠛⠿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠃⣶⣆⢰⣶⣶⣶⣶⠶⠒⢀⣀⣄⣠⣴⡟⠁⠄⠄⣰⣿ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠈⠻⠿⠿⠏⣾⡿⠃⠈⠉⠉⠛⠄⠘⠛⣻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡇⣠⣾⣿⣿
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January 2022

Emote

mattress/furniture stores exist in a quantum superposition

I'm convinced that mattress/furniture stores exist in a quantum superposition of grand opening and going out of business sale. It is both and neither at once until an observer records the state at which point it becomes one or the other. But because you know exactly where the store is located, you cannot know how fast it is going out of business because of your uncertainty about its business momentum. All around us, all the time pairs of anti-discount mattress stores and discount mattress stores are popping into existence, forming the quantum memory foam that is the basis for the universe. Without the pressure of this quantum memory foam strip malls would collapse. We can see evidence of this when a pair is created such that one half is within the sales radius of a supermassive furniture store like Ikea-- one of them is pulled in and the other escapes as a Hawking mattress store.
December 2020
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