[Copypasta] So that was a bruh moment

twitchquotes: She said she was “pregnant,” but I wasn’t buying that. I knew she had gas, and a lot of it. I knew that, if properly coaxed out, she had to potential for the greatest fart *EVER*. So one night I walked into her room and slowly approached her belly, and with my entire weight, I performed the greatest pile driver I have ever done. But instead of the thunderous sound expected, I heard a squish sound. Turns out she was pregnant. So that was a bruh moment.
twitch chat
November 2020
I used to be a real ad
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LOL rage face

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ascii art
May 2021

I sold my sandwich to learn about the Lucian level 2 power spike

twitchquotes: I sᴏʟᴅ ᴍʏ sᴀɴᴅᴡɪᴄʜ ᴛᴏ ʟᴇᴀʀɴ ᴀʙᴏᴜᴛ ᴛʜᴇ Lᴜᴄɪᴀɴ ʟᴇᴠᴇʟ 2 ᴘᴏᴡᴇʀ sᴘɪᴋᴇ. Jᴜsᴛ ᴀs ɪ ᴡᴀs ᴀʙᴏᴜᴛ ᴛᴏ ɢᴇᴛ ᴏᴜᴛ ᴏғ ᴍᴀsᴛᴇʀ ᴛɪᴇʀ ᴇʟᴏ ʜᴇʟʟ, I ᴅɪᴇᴅ ᴏғ sᴛᴀʀᴠᴀᴛɪᴏɴ. Iғ ᴏɴʟʏ I ʜᴀᴅ ᴇᴀᴛᴇɴ ᴛʜᴀᴛ ᴛᴏᴀsᴛᴇᴅ ᴛᴜɴᴀ sᴀʟᴀᴅ ʜᴏᴀɢɪᴇ, I ᴡᴏᴜʟᴅ ʙᴇ ᴀʟɪᴠᴇ ᴛᴏᴅᴀʏ ᴛᴏ ᴛʏᴘᴇ ᴛʜɪs
twitch chat
February 2015
imaqtpie

Test to see if a deck is good or not in constructed

twitchquotes: here's the test to see if a deck is good or not in constructed: 1) does it have dr boom, 2) does it have sylvanas, 3) is it mech mage. if it meets two out of three criteria it is good
twitch chat
March 2015
Trump

So as a joke, I fucked my friend in a trollface cosplay

So as a joke, I went to my friend's house wearing a trollface mask and black morph suit. I could barely stop my laughter as he went as red as your mother (after I have sexual intercourse with her) and looked at me from head to toe with a bit of drool in his mouth. The way he stared made me feel a bit funny too, but I decided to tease him more by taking off my morph suit. He asked me, "Are you serious?" and I said "Cover yourself in oil." He went silent for what seemed like forever, so I asked him, "You mad bro?" He said he's confused, but then his boner got really hard, which made me take off his clothes. I expected him to scream, "Stop!" as I kissed him and stroked his cock, but he instead shouted "We do a little trolling!" which made me get a boner myself. Before I knew it, I was blowing him for the first time till he came. His semen was so thick, it got stuck inside my throat no matter how hard I swallowed. He then said, "I want to fuck you now!" and seeing that we've already gone that far and we were both naked, I obliged. A few hours later, the jerk went all pale and said to me "Why did we do that? Now I'm not fucking straight." But he still looked so cute all confused like that, so I took pity on him and reassured while wiping his cum off my face, "Let's just pretend I'm still Trollface."
September 2021

NSFW

Please mod me I'm your mother

twitchquotes: Hey [insert streamer name] it's me. Your actual fucking MOTHER. I basically modded you throughout childhood so you might as well give me mod now. if you don't mod me you're basically calling yourself a failure as a human being. Make me proud of you.
twitch chat
March 2020
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