[Copypasta] In Japan, heart surgeon

Number one. Steady hand. One day, yakuza boss need new heart. I do operation. But mistake! Yakuza boss die! Yakuza very mad! I hide fishing boat, come to America. No English, no food, no money. Darryl give me job. Now I have house, American car and new woman. Darryl save life. My big secret. I kill yakuza boss on purpose. I good surgeon. The best!
April 2021

Classic

I used to be a real ad
More Classic Copypastas

You've been gnomed

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β–‘β–‘β–€β–€β–€β–‘β–‘β–€β–‘β–‘β–€β–‘β–€β–€β–€β–€β–‘β–€β–‘β–‘β–‘β–€β–‘β–€β–€β–€β–‘β–€β–€β–‘
October 2018

Classic

Kripp's gotta hit up the bathroom

twitchquotes: "Give me a second, guys," Kripp says. "Gotta hit up the bathroom" He turns down the volume on his microphone, and immediately gives Dex a swift kick down the stairs. As Dex yelps loudly in pain, Kripp overturns the nearest chair, yelling "Fuck this game!" as loudly as he can. Rania tries to calm him down, but Kripp swiftly bodyslams her onto a glass coffee table. After taking a few deep breaths, Kripp wipes the blood off of his face, sits back down at his computer, and resumes his stream.
twitch chat
January 2018
Kripp

Classic

Did you ever hear the tragedy of Darth Plagueis The Wise?

twitchquotes: Did you ever hear the tragedy of Darth Plagueis The Wise? I thought not. It’s not a story the Jedi would tell you. It’s a Sith legend. Darth Plagueis was a Dark Lord of the Sith, so powerful and so wise he could use the Force to influence the midichlorians to create life… He had such a knowledge of the dark side that he could even keep the ones he cared about from dying. The dark side of the Force is a pathway to many abilities some consider to be unnatural. He became so powerful… the only thing he was afraid of was losing his power, which eventually, of course, he did. Unfortunately, he taught his apprentice everything he knew, then his apprentice killed him in his sleep. Ironic. He could save others from death, but not himself.
twitch chat
April 2017

Tragedy of Darth Plagueis The Wise

Classic

CTRL WTF for Fancy WTF

twitchquotes: PogChamp PogChamp HOLD CTRL AND TYPE "WTF" FOR β„±π“ͺ𝓷𝓬𝔂 𝓦𝓣ℱ PogChamp PogChamp
twitch chat
April 2016

Classic

Handsome Squidward

⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣀⣀⣀⣠⣀⣀⣄⣀⣀⣀⑀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β£€β €β –β Šβ ‰β β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β ˆβ ‰β ™β ²β’€β‘€β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β € β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β‘€β Šβ β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β ˆβ’¦β‘€β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β € β €β €β €β €β €β €β‘œβ €β €β €β €β €β €β’€β‘€β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β’’β €β €β €β €β €β’³β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β € β €β €β €β €β €β£Έβ β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β ±β‘€β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β‘€β ˆβ €β‘€β €β €β €β ˆβ‘‡β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β € β €β €β €β €β €β‘β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β‘°β β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β ˜β‘†β‘œβ β €β €β €β €β’§β‘€β €β €β €β €β €β €β € ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⑇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠸⑀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣀⣀⑂⠀⠇⠱⠀⑀⠀⠀⠀⠀⑇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ β €β €β €β €β €β’‡β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β ˆβ’„β‘€β’ β£Ÿβ’­β£₯β£€β ½β‘†β €β‘Άβ£Šβ£‰β£²β£€β’€β‘žβ €β €β €β €β €β €β €β € β €β €β €β €β €β ˜β£†β €β €β €β €β €β €β‘€β €β β ‚β ˜β „β£ˆβ£™β‘‘β‘΄β €β €β ™β£„β ™β£›β œβ ˜β£†β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β € β €β €β €β €β €β €β ˆβ’¦β‘€β €β €β €β’Έβ β €β €β €β €β €β €β „β Šβ €β €β €β €β‘Έβ ›β €β €β €β’Έβ †β €β €β €β €β €β €β € β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β ˆβ “β ¦β’„β£˜β£„β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β‘ β €β €β €β €β£‡β‘€β €β €β£ β Žβ €β €β €β €β €β €β €β € β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β£Έβ β ˆβ‘Ÿβ ’β ²β£„β €β €β‘°β ‡β –β’„β €β €β‘Ήβ‘‡β’€β Žβ β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β € β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β’€β‘‡β €β €β‘‡β €β €β Ήβ €β‘žβ €β €β’€β €β£β ­β‘€β’±β’Έβ €β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β € β €β €β €β €β €β €β’€β£€β£€β£ β žβ €β €β’ β‘‡β €β €β €β €β β €β’΄β ₯β €β ¦β ¦β‘Όβ €β’Έβ €β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β € β£€β£€β£΄β£Άβ£Ώβ£Ώβ‘Ÿβ β €β ‹β €β €β €β’Έβ β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β ‘β£ β’€β β β €β’Έβ €β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β € β£Ώβ£Ώβ£Ώβ£Ώβ£Ώβ‘Ÿβ €β €β €β €β €β €β €β’Έβ‘€β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β ¬β ₯β£„β €β €β ˆβ ²β‘„β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β € β£Ώβ£Ώβ£Ώβ£Ώβ£Ώβ‘‡β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β ™β ¦β£„β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β ˆβ’³β €β €β’€β£Ώβ‘€β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β € β£Ώβ£Ώβ£Ώβ£Ώβ£Ώβ£§β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β ˆβ ™β ’β ¦β €β’€β£„β£€β£ β €β’Ώβ£Άβ£Άβ£Ώβ£Ώβ£Ώβ£Άβ£€β‘€β €β €β €β €β € ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣄⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⒀⑼⠁⠀⠀⣠⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣄⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣢⣦⣀⣀⣀⣀⣀⣀⣀⣀⣀⣀⣀⣀⣢⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠀⠀⠀
February 2021

Classic

Text-to-Speech Playing