[Copypasta] In Japan, heart surgeon

Number one. Steady hand. One day, yakuza boss need new heart. I do operation. But mistake! Yakuza boss die! Yakuza very mad! I hide fishing boat, come to America. No English, no food, no money. Darryl give me job. Now I have house, American car and new woman. Darryl save life. My big secret. I kill yakuza boss on purpose. I good surgeon. The best!
April 2021

Classic

From the office: https://theoffice.fandom.com/wiki/Hidetoshi_Hasagawa
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Every 60 seconds, a minute passes in Africa

twitchquotes: ( อกยฐ อœส– อกยฐ) Every 60 seconds in Africa, a minute passes. Together we can stop this. Please spread the word ( อกยฐ อœส– อกยฐ)
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April 2014

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Shrek is love. Shrek is life

I was only nine years old. I loved Shrek so much, I had all the merchandise and movies. I'd pray to Shrek every night before I go to bed, thanking for the life I've been given. "Shrek is love", I would say, "Shrek is life". My dad hears me and calls me a faggot. I knew he was just jealous for my devotion of Shrek. I called him a cunt. He slaps me and sends me to go to sleep. I'm crying now and my face hurts. I lay in bed and it's really cold. A warmth is moving towards me. I feel something touch me. It's Shrek. I'm so happy. He whispers in my ear, "This is my swamp". He grabs me with his powerful ogre hands, and puts me on my hands and knees. I spread my ass-cheeks for Shrek. He penetrates my butthole. It hurts so much, but I do it for Shrek. I can feel my butt tearing as my eyes start to water. I push against his force. I want to please Shrek. He roars a mighty roar, as he fills my butt with his love. My dad walks in. Shrek looks him straight in the eye, and says, "It's all ogre now". Shrek leaves through my window. Shrek is love. Shrek is life.๏ปฟ
February 2021

Shrek

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American Test Passed

twitchquotes: โœ“ Obesity โœ“ ๐Ÿ’ฅ๐Ÿ”ซ โœ“ Laziness โœ“ Stupidity โœ“ ๐ŸŒต โœ“ McDonald's โœ“ Donald Trump โœ“ $70k College โœ“ Bad healthcare โœ“ Bad food โœ“ Bad music โœ“ Fahrenheit โœ“ Pounds โœ“ Inches โœ“ AMERICAN TEST PASSED
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EU vs NA

if doublelift has million number of fans i am one of them

twitchquotes: if doublelift has million number of fans i am one of them. if doublelift has ten fans i am one of them. if doublelift has no fans. that means i am no more on the earth. if world against doublelift, i am against the world. i love doublelift till my last breath... die hard fan of doublelift. Hit like if u think doublelift best & smart in the world
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League of Legends

American website, American computers, American game

twitchquotes: Europoors hating on USA โœ“ on a American website โœ“ with American computers โœ“ on the American invented Internet โœ“ watching an American made game โœ“ From a country that was liberated and protected by America โœ“โœ“โœ“
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