[Copypasta] Have you heard about Twitch Prime?

twitchquotes: Hey guys, have you heard about Twitch Prime? Did you know you can link your Amazon Prime account to your Twitch account, and subscriber to your favorite streamer FOREVER... for 30 days.. FOR FREE!
twitch chat
November 2020
What happened to this ad? :(
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AROOOOGA eyes pop out jaw drops

twitchquotes: Hummina hummina hummina bazooooooooing! *eyes pop out* AROOOOOOOOGA! *jaw drops tongue rolls out* WOOF WOOF WOOF WOOF WOOF WOOF WOOF WOOF WOOF WOOF WOOF WOOF WOOF WOOF WOOF *tongue bursts out of the outh uncontrollably leaking face and everything in reach* WURBLWUBRLBWURblrwurblwurlbrwubrlwburlwbruwrlblwublr *tiny cupid shoots an arrow through heart* Ahhhhhhhhhhh me lady... *heart in the shape of a heart starts beating so hard you can see it through shirt* ba-bum ba-bum ba-bum ba-bum ba-bum *milk truck crashes into a bakery store in the background spiling white liquid and dough on the streets* BABY WANTS TO FUCK *inhales from the gas tank* honka honka honka honka *masturabtes furiously* ohhhh my gooooodd~
twitch chat
December 2020

My son won't stop using "TwitchSpeak?

My son (14) watches a lot of video game streamers on Twitch.tv. I personally don't find them entertaining but I can understand why some people (like my son) do. Over the past month he's starting using terms like "pog", "jabaited", and "Kappa" which I guess are terms that are used in the scope of Twitch. I don't have an issue with my son using these terms but it's gotten to the point where every sentence is Twitchspeak. We were having dinner and my daughter (age 12) was talking about how she got accepted for a summer program with the local animal shelter, and my son said "Pog you, easy clap". I told him that it was getting out of hand and that he would have to communicate normally to his parents and family. To that he said "Weird champ, feels weird man, normies omega LOL." Until he learns to communicate like a normal human being I've blacklisted Twitch from the internet for the time being. He's hysterical now but I told him that I would unblacklist it if he stopped using twitchspeak, but he's refusing to stop so for now it's banned. AITA?
May 2019

Classic

Am I The Asshole?

Eminem Stan lyrics

twitchquotes: Dear kripp, I wrote you but still ain't callin' I left my cell, my pager, and my home phone at the bottom I sent two letters back in autumn, you must not-a got 'em There probably was a problem at the post office or somethin' Sometimes I scribble addresses too sloppy when I jot 'em But anyways, fuck it, what's been up? Man how's dexter? My girlfriend's pregnant too, I'm 'bout to be a father. My girlfriend's jealous 'cause I talk about you 24/7 But she don't know you like I know you kripp, no one does She don't know what it was like for people like us growin' up, you gotta call me man I'll be the biggest fan you'll ever lose Sincerely yours, Stan P.S. we should be together too
twitch chat
September 2019
Kripp

Kripp uploads a video that breaks Pornhub's terms of use

twitch chat
August 2014
Kripp

Bear

β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘ β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–„β–„β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–„β–„β–„β–„β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘ β–‘β–‘β–‘β–β–€β–€β–„β–ˆβ–€β–€β–€β–€β–€β–’β–„β–’β–€β–Œβ–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘ β–‘β–‘β–‘β–β–’β–ˆβ–€β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–€β–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘ β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–€β–Œβ–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘ β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–Œβ–’β–ˆβ–ˆβ–’β–’β–’β–’β–ˆβ–ˆβ–’β–’β–’β–β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘ β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–Œβ–’β–’β–„β–’β–ˆβ–ˆβ–’β–„β–„β–’β–’β–’β–β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘ β–‘β–‘β–‘β–β–’β–’β–’β–€β–„β–ˆβ–€β–ˆβ–„β–€β–’β–’β–’β–’β–ˆβ–„β–‘β–‘ β–‘β–‘β–‘β–€β–ˆβ–„β–’β–’β–β–β–„β–Œβ–Œβ–’β–’β–„β–β–„β–β–‘β–‘β–‘ β–‘β–‘β–„β–€β–’β–’β–„β–’β–’β–€β–€β–€β–’β–’β–’β–’β–€β–’β–€β–„β–‘β–‘ β–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–’β–€β–ˆβ–€β–Œβ–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–„β–„β–„β–β–’β–’β–β–‘β–‘ β–‘β–‘β–‘β–€β–„β–„β–Œβ–Œβ–’β–’β–’β–’β–β–’β–’β–’β–€β–’β–’β–β–‘β–‘ β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–β–Œβ–’β–’β–’β–’β–€β–„β–„β–„β–„β–„β–€β–‘β–‘ ░░░░░░░░▐▄▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▐░░░ β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–Œβ–’β–’β–’β–’β–„β–„β–’β–’β–’β–β–‘β–‘β–‘
ascii art
November 2014
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