[Copypasta] Have you heard about Twitch Prime?

The Tomato Town Incident

At around 10:00 AM on the morning of December 18th, 2018, in what was widely believed to be an act of government-sponsored ethnic cleansing, two armed militia men were seen parachuting from a military plane into the vicinity of Tomato Town. Upon landing the two quickly unholstered assault rifles and entered the local pizzeria where a massacre of unarmed civilians unfolded as they kept shouting, "Get Down! Get Down!". Improvised explosives were then detonated at the site of the crime to obscure the victim's identities. The local police chief spotted the assailants as they were exiting the diner and shot one in the back before he was quickly revived by his accomplice as they boarded a "technical" pickup truck and headed southbound. The two militiamen were outnumbered but gave chase before being cornered in the streets of the nearby district of Pleasant Park where a shootout occurred with the police. The two assailants were seen chugging jugs of alcohol before getting back into the pickup truck and heading towards Moist Mire where the police lost them, deliberately detouring around Loot Lake as a local source had tipped them off to the stationing of UN peacekeeping forces in the area. 10 bodies were later discovered in the rubble of the Pizzeria's board room. Not long after the assailants left the area, a purple cloud believed to be an experimental chemical agent developed by the government swept the area, resulting in death by suffocation, making the town uninhabitable and turning the survivors of the massacre into refugees. Military contractors hired by the government bulldozed what was left of Tomato Town including the ruins of the Pizzeria as well as the memorial site for the victims and redeveloped it into a religious site/tourist attraction for the dominant religion of the country known as "Tomato Temple". To this day the government denies the massacre and subsequent chemical weapons attack despite multiple Human Rights agencies releasing interviews with the survivors and even one of the assailants coming forward with a testimony of guilt uploaded to social media after a UN Geneva Convention Probe confirmed the use of banned chemical agents.

March 2021

Fortnite

SO MALD

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July 2019

All becoming SELLOUT

twitchquotes: ＷｈｅｎＳＰＯＮＳＯＲＥＤ，ｍｙｈａｎｄｇｏｅｓａｕｔｏｍａｔｉｃａｌｌｙｉｎｍｙｐｏｃｋｅｔ．ＩｆｅｅｌｔｈｅｔｅｘｔｕｒｅｏｆｔｈｅｄｏｌｌａｒｓａｎｄＩｆｅｅｌＩｈａｖｅｓｅｘｗｉｔｈｔｈｅｓｐｏｎｓｏｒ．ＡｌｌｂｅｃｏｍｉｎｇＳＥＬＬＯＵＴ

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April 2016

Kripp

sellout

76gb homework folder

twitchquotes:

You really think that 76GB homework folder is fooling anybody

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September 2018

Smartest Man in Existence

twitchquotes: When I was in school I used to have an IQ of 15. My classmates used to harass me for not being that smart. But since 2013, my life has changed. My IQ is now 195 and it increases by 5 every time I sit down on Saturday nights to watch this one show. It is called Rick and Morty. Because of that, I get all the girls and people are always comparing me to Albert Einstein, some even say that I am the cure for cancer. When the government found out that I watch Rick and Morty, they showed up to my residence and took me to a secret facility to take an exam. The exam was about explaining all the jokes in Rick and Morty and I had to answer each question in all currently spoken languages. Since I watched Rick and Morty, I didn't have any problems and I completed it in 30 minutes. The next day, I got to see the results and I passed the exam with a score of 100%. They gave me the title "Smartest Man in Existence". Guess I am out of this world.

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October 2017

[Copypasta] Have you heard about Twitch Prime?

The Tomato Town Incident

Fortnite

SO MALD

All becoming SELLOUT

sellout

76gb homework folder

Smartest Man in Existence

Rick and Morty

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