[Copypasta] Have you heard about Twitch Prime?

twitchquotes: Hey guys, have you heard about Twitch Prime? Did you know you can link your Amazon Prime account to your Twitch account, and subscriber to your favorite streamer FOREVER... for 30 days.. FOR FREE!
twitch chat
November 2020
I used to be a real ad
More Copypastas

You abhorrent scum. You ignorant fool. I will sue you

You abhorrent scum. You ignorant fool. I will sue you. You are going to be the target of the greatest lawsuit the world has ever seen. You don't know why? It's completely obvious. It's so obvious, the most deplorable peasant could grasp the full magnitude of your wickedness and treachery with the greatest of ease. Your actions cry out for mercy, and I will be happy to deliver it. And if you're thinking this is a mistake, or merely a deception of mine, you're sadly mistaken, my friend. I have indisputable proof of your continued harassment and other offenses. Even without it, the jury would take one look at you and decide. The incomprehensible magnitude of your crimes brings with it unavoidable, infinite guilt, and whether you notice it or not, everyone else does. Are you interested in who will be serving as the offense attorney? I'll tell you. It's my father. Your defense? It doesn't matter, in fact, they might just not give you one even to spare just one individual from the trauma. My father is the greatest lawyer in the US, the world, and human history, including the future, which he knows due to the fact that he sued the future and they travelled back in time to tell him. He's served for hundreds of Supreme Court cases, and he's won every single one. You may have never thought about being court-marshaled, but now, that's a real threat. That is the power of my father, a culmination of flawless, supreme logic and a perfect knowledge of the law. You will lose this case, your money, and your life. Does that scare you, insignificant bug? Because it should. The entire history of the U.S. Judicial System has been leading up to this moment, where all of its fury is concentrated on ruining your life. My father won't even need to help. Your heinous crimes will be evident to all, so just give up, you crook. Give up before you're forced to.
September 2021

IM JUST WIDIN IN TWITCH CHAT

twitchquotes: widepeepoHappy NA THIS widepeepoHappy EU THAT widepeepoHappy IM JUST WIDIN widepeepoHappy IN TWITCH CHAT widepeepoHappy
twitch chat
March 2020

Same

twitchquotes: The time was 1:53 AM. This is the last game of my plat promos. The season will end in 7 minutes. We're down by bot turret with our team as we push our lead. I see Scott rolling in as Rammus, traveling at a speed that would put Sonic himself to shame. His words echo through my $5 earbuds. "I'M GOING IN!" I pause to take in the world around me. I can do anything right now. Physical, mental, emotional, and spiritual limits no longer apply to me. I gather the strength in my forefinger as I slowly lift it over my R key. I say...no, I yell, with the ferocity of a million suns, the single word that could be heard around the world. "Same!" Galio prepares himself before leaping into the air, and delivering a devastating blow to the enemies' backline. We did it. The enemy team retreats back into their low elo. I was platinum. With a farewell to Scott for his outstanding work, I drag myself to my bed, ready to fall asleep. My phone chimes. Checking the notifications, I saw only one. A text from Clown9 Sneaky. The message brought a tear to my eye. The message simply read: “I’m proud of you.” Now very emotional, I typed a reply. "Same."
twitch chat
July 2020
Sneaky

League of Legends

I, as a heterosexual man

twitchquotes: I, as a heterosexual man, would never feel attraction to another man. Not even a slim, supple young lad with hyper feminine features in the most endearing cat outfit you could possibly imagine. That doesn't seem attractive to me at all. If you find pictures of men like this, you can just send them to me so I know what to watch out for and avoid.
twitch chat
November 2020

Troll face 4

⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣠⣴⠶⠶⣶⠶⠶⠶⠶⠶⠶⠶⠶⠶⢶⠶⠶⠶⠤⠤⠤⠤⣄⣀⣀⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣠⡾⠋⠀⠀⠊⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠒⠒⠒⠀⠀⠀⠀⠤⢤⣤⣄⠉⠉⠛⠛⠷⣦⣀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣰⠟⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠐⠋⢑⣤⣶⣶⣤⡢⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣠⣄⡂⠀⠀⠶⢄⠙⢷⣤⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣸⡿⠚⠉⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢰⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡄⠀⠀⠀⢢⠀⠀⡀⣰⣿⣿⣿⣿⣦⡀⠀⠀⠡⡀⢹⡆⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣴⠏⠀⣀⣀⣀⡤⢤⣄⣠⣿⣿⣿⣿⣻⣿⣿⣷⠀⢋⣾⠈⠙⣶⠒⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠟⠃⠀⡀⠡⠼⣧⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⢀⣴⣿⢃⡴⢊⢽⣶⣤⣀⠀⠊⠉⠉⡛⢿⣿⣿⣿⠿⠋⢀⡀⠁⠀⠀⢸⣁⣀⣉⣉⣉⡉⠀⠩⡡⠀⣩⣦⠀⠈⠻⣦⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⢠⡟⢡⠇⡞⢀⠆⠀⢻⣿⣿⣷⣄⠀⢀⠈⠂⠈⢁⡤⠚⡟⠉⠀⣀⣀⠀⠈⠳⣍⠓⢆⢀⡠⢀⣨⣴⣿⣿⡏⢀⡆⠀⢸⡇⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⣾⠁⢸⠀⠀⢸⠀⠀⠀⠹⣿⣿⣿⣿⣶⣬⣦⣤⡈⠀⠀⠇⠀⠛⠉⣩⣤⣤⣤⣿⣤⣤⣴⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣧⠞⠀⠀⢸⡇⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⢹⣆⠸⠀⠀⢸⠀⠀⠀⠀⠘⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣟⣛⠛⠛⣛⡛⠛⠛⣛⣋⡉⠉⣡⠶⢾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡇⠀⠀⢀⣾⠃⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠻⣆⡀⠀⠈⢂⠀⠀⠀⠠⡈⢻⣿⣿⣿⣿⡟⠁⠈⢧⡼⠉⠙⣆⡞⠁⠈⢹⣴⠃⠀⢸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠃⠀⡆⣾⠃⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠈⢻⣇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢡⠀⠹⣿⣿⣿⣷⡀⠀⣸⡇⠀⠀⣿⠁⠀⠀⠘⣿⠀⠀⠘⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠀⠀⣿⡇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠹⣇⠀⠠⠀⠀⠀⠀⠡⠐⢬⡻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣶⣶⣿⣦⣤⣤⣤⣿⣦⣶⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠀⠀⣿⡇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠹⣧⡀⠡⡀⠀⠀⠀⠑⠄⠙⢎⠻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣦⠀⢿⡇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⠳⣤⡐⡄⠀⠀⠀⠈⠂⠀⠱⣌⠻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠿⣿⠟⢻⡏⢻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠀⢸⡇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⠻⢮⣦⡀⠂⠀⢀⠀⠀⠈⠳⣈⠻⣿⣿⣿⡇⠘⡄⢸⠀⠀⣇⠀⣻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡏⠀⠸⡇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠉⠛⢶⣤⣄⡑⠄⠀⠀⠈⠑⠢⠙⠻⢷⣶⣵⣞⣑⣒⣋⣉⣁⣻⣿⠿⠟⠱⠃⡸⠀⣧⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠉⠛⠻⣷⣄⡀⠐⠢⣄⣀⡀⠀⠉⠉⠉⠉⠛⠙⠭⠭⠄⠒⠈⠀⠐⠁⢀⣿⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠉⠛⠷⢦⣤⣤⣀⣀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣒⡠⠄⣠⡾⠃⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠉⠙⠛⠷⠶⣦⣤⣭⣤⣬⣭⣭⣴⠶⠛⠉⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
May 2021
Text-to-Speech Playing