[Copypasta] Ahsoka Tano

twitchquotes: Luke, did I ever tell you about Ahsoka Tano? She was your father’s exotic teenage alien apprentice, a fine piece of jailbait from a more civilized age. She had the tightest body and the perkiest little breasts in the galaxy; barely legal in most systems. Anakin and I used to doubleteam her at the end of every successful campaign during the Clone Wars, and once in a while we’d even have the entire 501st run a train over her, part of official Jedi “training” of course. In time, she learned how to handle a meatsaber better than anyone in the Jedi Temple. She wore a miniskirt every day so we told her there were no panties in space, and since she was constantly doing acrobatics you’d get a glimpse of her orange pussy mid fight as she’d do a flip while slicing a B2 Super Battledroid in half. It was surreal. We taught her to grip her weapon backwards like a dildo and she constantly got captured by pirates and slavers almost every other day. It was ridiculous, like a constant porno Luke, you have no idea. And she was a good friend.
twitch chat
November 2020
Waiting for adblock to be disabled
More Copypastas

Kripp thinks that milk is bad for you

twitchquotes: My dad drank milk his whole life. One day my mom told him "If u want to see ur children graduate, u have to stop" 3 years later he died of calcium deficiency. My mom told me "Dont drink milk; dont put your family through this" At 24, I have never touched a glass of milk. I must say, I feel a sense of regret, because watching Kripp play Hearthstone gave me calcium deficiency anyway.
twitch chat
October 2014
Kripp

Now we are Robot Operated - Omnic Crisis

twitchquotes: MrDestructoid Genji Outdated MrDestructoid Ana Overrated MrDestructoid Tanks Downgraded MrDestructoid Now we are Robot Operated
twitch chat
March 2017

Overwatch

Tanner from Rome

twitchquotes: So you're going by "Octavian" now plebian? Haha what's up spurcifer, it's Tannerius from Rome. Remember me? Me and the other legionaries used to give a hard time. Sorry you were just an easy target. I can see not much has changed. Remember Seira, the girl you had a crush on? Yeah, she's my concubine now. I make over 200 sesterces a year and drive a quadriga chariot. I guess some things never change huh? Nice catching up. Patheticus.
twitch chat
May 2019
Kripp

Classic

Tanner from High School

Just dropped down to say, I forgor

▬▬▬▬▬.◙.▬▬▬▬▬ ▂▄▄▓▄▄▂ ◢◤█▀▀████▄▄▄▄▄▄ ◢◤ █▄ █ █▄ ███▀▀▀▀▀▀▀ ╬ ◥ █████ ◤ ══╩══╩═ ╬═╬ ╬═╬ just dropped down to say ╬═╬ ╬═╬ I forgor ╬═╬ 💀/ ╬═╬ /▌ ╬═╬ / \
October 2021

I forgor

Text-to-Speech Playing