[Copypasta] Ahsoka Tano

twitchquotes: Luke, did I ever tell you about Ahsoka Tano? She was your father’s exotic teenage alien apprentice, a fine piece of jailbait from a more civilized age. She had the tightest body and the perkiest little breasts in the galaxy; barely legal in most systems. Anakin and I used to doubleteam her at the end of every successful campaign during the Clone Wars, and once in a while we’d even have the entire 501st run a train over her, part of official Jedi “training” of course. In time, she learned how to handle a meatsaber better than anyone in the Jedi Temple. She wore a miniskirt every day so we told her there were no panties in space, and since she was constantly doing acrobatics you’d get a glimpse of her orange pussy mid fight as she’d do a flip while slicing a B2 Super Battledroid in half. It was surreal. We taught her to grip her weapon backwards like a dildo and she constantly got captured by pirates and slavers almost every other day. It was ridiculous, like a constant porno Luke, you have no idea. And she was a good friend.
twitch chat
November 2020
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Quit gaming 8 months ago. Bought a new car

twitchquotes: Quit gaming 8 months ago. Bought a new car, I have an amazing new girlfriend, I make a shitload of money and I'm buying a house this spring. I party every weekend, I'm never home. I'm enjoying life. Do yourselves a favor. Stop trying to make gaming a career. It's cringe as fuck
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LS, aka Low Standards is an LCK commentator

twitchquotes: LS, aka "Low Standards", is a commentator for the LCK that is often ridiculed for his annoying personality and questionable game knowledge. He is specifically known for his Annie and Tahm “Thomas” Kench two-trick-pony in low platinum solo-queue..
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Gorgeous tone of gray

twitchquotes: GORGEOUS TONE OF GRAY ✓ Kappa TIMELESS DESIGN ✓ Kappa THE ORIGINAL KING OF THE EMOTES ✓ Kappa LOTS OF ADORABLE VERSIONS ✓ KappaPride KappaClaus KappaRoss MUST BE KappaKappa
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twitchquotes: SIMP CHECK monkaS 👉 pokiW IM SAFE PogU
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June 2020

Simps

Greggnog

First off: I am not joking. I wish I was joking. I've been with my wonderful boyfriend Greg for over 4 years now, and this Christmas was our third spent together. He's so much fun to be around, handsome, charming, and our sex life is great. Except for one small problem. Every year now starting in December he starts referring to his cum as "Greggnog." When I first heard him say this, it was in the context of a joke, so I laughed, and then I forgot about it. A few days after this, we're exchanging some spicy texts before he gets home from work he says to me, in all seriousness, "I can't wait to pour Greggnog all over your face." I could not believe he just said that to me, but I didn't know what else to do at the time but go along with it. Fast forward to this December. This phrase re-enters his vocabulary at the same time every year. It makes me cringe beyond belief, but until this year he used it sparingly enough for me to just be able to laugh and say "shut the fuck up." I'm sure that 2020 has done at least some irreparable psychic damage to all people, but unfortunately, for my boyfriend, this has manifested in the form of him referring to his cum as "Greggnog" non-stop. This month he has been using the term almost exclusively, in all contexts, and it is driving me batshit insane. I sat him down to talk last week, and I asked him very clearly and directly to stop. At the time, he said he would, and it did slow down for a few days, but it is now four days after Christmas and he's back at it again with no end in sight. He absolutely means the world to me, and I saw myself spending the rest of my life with him, but I have serious doubts now whether or not I can if every Christmas is going to be like this. So please, reddit, what do I do to make this stop for good?
December 2020

Classic

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