[Copypasta] Ahsoka Tano

twitchquotes: Luke, did I ever tell you about Ahsoka Tano? She was your father’s exotic teenage alien apprentice, a fine piece of jailbait from a more civilized age. She had the tightest body and the perkiest little breasts in the galaxy; barely legal in most systems. Anakin and I used to doubleteam her at the end of every successful campaign during the Clone Wars, and once in a while we’d even have the entire 501st run a train over her, part of official Jedi “training” of course. In time, she learned how to handle a meatsaber better than anyone in the Jedi Temple. She wore a miniskirt every day so we told her there were no panties in space, and since she was constantly doing acrobatics you’d get a glimpse of her orange pussy mid fight as she’d do a flip while slicing a B2 Super Battledroid in half. It was surreal. We taught her to grip her weapon backwards like a dildo and she constantly got captured by pirates and slavers almost every other day. It was ridiculous, like a constant porno Luke, you have no idea. And she was a good friend.
twitch chat
November 2020
(▀̿Ĺ̯├┬┴┬┴ Psst... kid, you wanna disable adblock?
More Copypastas

where were u wen Melon Captol die (GameStop short squeeze)

apolgy for bad english where were u wen Melon Captol die i was at Gamestock buying Ps5 when phone ring "Melon is kil" “yes”
January 2021

WallStreetBets

how are people who chat on twitch streams so annoying?

twitchquotes: how are people who chat on twitch streams so annoying? like wtf is even omeglol? and y do yall spam emojis, spam pog, and send messages like "blah blah blah :) blah blah blah :) blah blah blah :) blah blah blah"? like calm down its not that serious.
twitch chat
December 2020

I am a silent guardian, I am the Dark Knight

twitchquotes: ᴏɴᴄᴇ ᴜᴘᴏɴ ᴀ ᴛɪᴍᴇ, ᴛʜᴇʀᴇ ᴡᴀs ᴀ ʟɪᴛᴛʟᴇ ᴋɪᴅ ᴄᴀʟʟᴇᴅ Kʀɪᴘᴘᴀʀɪɴᴏ, ᴡʜᴏ ʜᴏᴘᴇᴅ ᴛᴏ ʙᴇᴄᴏᴍᴇ ᴛʜᴇ ᴋɪɴɢ's ᴋɴɪɢʜᴛ. ᴏɴᴇ ᴅᴀʏ ᴀ ᴅᴏɴɢᴇʀɪɴᴏ ᴛᴏʟᴅ ʜɪᴍ "ɪғ ʏᴏᴜ ᴡᴀɴᴛ ᴛᴏ ʙᴇᴄᴏᴍᴇ ᴀ ᴋɴɪɢʜᴛ, ʏᴏᴜ ʜᴀᴠᴇ ᴛᴏ ᴋɪʟʟ ᴛʜᴇ ɴᴀᴢɪ ᴍᴏᴅᴇʀɪɴᴏs". ᴛʜᴇ ᴋʀɪᴘᴘᴀʀɪɴᴏ ᴡɪᴇʟᴅᴇᴅ ʜɪs sᴡᴏʀᴅ ᴀɴᴅ ᴄᴜᴛ ɪᴛ ᴛʜʀᴏᴜɢʜ ᴛʜᴇ ᴍᴏᴅᴇʀɪɴᴏs ᴄʜᴇsᴛs. <:::::[]=¤༼ຈل͜ຈ༽ノ "ɪ ᴀᴍ ᴀ sɪʟᴇɴᴛ ɢᴜᴀʀᴅɪᴀɴ, ɪ ᴀᴍ ᴛʜᴇ ᴅᴀʀᴋ ᴋɴɪɢʜᴛ".
twitch chat
November 2014
Kripp

President's Day Emoji Pasta

ITS PRESIDENTS DAY SLUTS!! 🚨🚨🇺🇸🇺🇸🇺🇸🇺🇸time to hop onto that founding father dick🍆🍆🍆👴🏻👴🏻👴🏻👴🏻or should i say founding DADDIES!!!😩😩😩🙌🙌👅👅💦💦 out here tryna get rammed from behind 🍑🍑🍑🍑harder than the rock of MOUNT RUSHMORE☄️☄️⛰🏔🏔george washington mightve been able to survive the harsh ❄️❄️🌬winters🌬❄️❄️ of valley forge, but can he handle the conditions between the sheets🌪💑❓❓❓be the monica Lewinsky 🙋🏻to my bill clinton🙋‍♂️ baby and i wont deny i had 🍆🍆♋️sexual relations♋️🍆🍆 with you!!! crack the whip down harder on your bae than ronald Reagan did on welfare programs💸💸🤷🏼‍♂️🤷🏼‍♂️🤷🏼‍♂️✍🏻send this to FIVE of your baddest presidential PRINCESSES👸🏼🇺🇸🇺🇸👸🏼who will throw the nastiest neck🍆🍆😩😩🙌🙌🌬💦 on this AMERICAN BEAUT OF A DAY😊😊💙🚨❤️ if you get 10 back, be prepared for the president to enter the oval office of you PUSSY tonight🐱🐱💦💦🙌😩😩😩😩😩🇺🇸🇺🇸🇺🇸
February 2024

Emoji Pasta

Holiday Emoji

President's Day

Stroll in my local GameStop

stroll into my local GameStop looking to pick up a copy of Binding of Isaac grab the game and take it to the charming maiden at the register "Pardon me, milady...but could you ring me up? A shame I don't have your number or I'd ring you up instead..." she giggles and takes the game, blushing as her fingers brush mine due to my fingerless gloves her eyes widen as she reads the game's title "Wow, I've never seen anyone buy this before! You must have special taste!" I smile and ready a witty response when suddenly a voice rings out from behind "Hahaha look at what this ♥♥♥♥♥♥ is buying! That's not Call of Duty Advanced Memefare! What a piece of ♥♥♥♥!" I quickly turn around, my cloak billowing behind me, to discern the source of the rude outburst generic dudebro caricature with a sports team cap and "the guy that beat you up that one time behind the school in early October" shirt is standing there guffawing "Excuse me sir...you may disparage my person if you wish, but it is untoward to swear in front of a lady." "♥♥♥♥ you ♥♥♥♥♥♥!" I smile quietly and tip my fedora low across my eyes, concealing them "As you wish..." I quickly swing my cane into his kneecap before he can react he bellows and charges forward I expertly sidestep him and the cashier screams as he crashes into the counter I draw my sword-cane and mutter a quiet oath as I drive it deep into his back "...requiescat in pace..." As I clean my blade the girl walks out from behind the counter, twirling her hair with her fingers "So...maybe you'd like to come over to my place to play that game sometime...? "No thanks, milady, it's only single player. Besides..." I sheath my sword "You're not my type." skate away on my Heelys
January 2021

Classic

Text-to-Speech Playing