[Copypasta] Ahsoka Tano

twitchquotes: Luke, did I ever tell you about Ahsoka Tano? She was your father’s exotic teenage alien apprentice, a fine piece of jailbait from a more civilized age. She had the tightest body and the perkiest little breasts in the galaxy; barely legal in most systems. Anakin and I used to doubleteam her at the end of every successful campaign during the Clone Wars, and once in a while we’d even have the entire 501st run a train over her, part of official Jedi “training” of course. In time, she learned how to handle a meatsaber better than anyone in the Jedi Temple. She wore a miniskirt every day so we told her there were no panties in space, and since she was constantly doing acrobatics you’d get a glimpse of her orange pussy mid fight as she’d do a flip while slicing a B2 Super Battledroid in half. It was surreal. We taught her to grip her weapon backwards like a dildo and she constantly got captured by pirates and slavers almost every other day. It was ridiculous, like a constant porno Luke, you have no idea. And she was a good friend.
twitch chat
November 2020
What happened to this ad? :(
More Copypastas

The ending of the WWII is AWFUL

So am I the only one upset about how WWII ended? I mean they built Hitler up to be the big bad and just when he is about to face justice, he goes and kills himself. WTF was the point of him if FDR and Churchill were not going to fight him in an epic duel to save the world? And don't get me started on FDR! They just kill him half way through the war. Truman totally did not deserve to win the war, his character arc was not about war winning. And it certainly wasn't about destroying two cities with bullshit deus ex super weapons that came out of no where. And another thing that pissed me off is that in the last episode of the war we find out that Stalin was a bad guy the entire time! Where was this foreshadowed to us? WTF, absolute character assassination. He was all about freeing the oppressed and bringing about a new system that wasn't shackling the poor and they made him a dictator? That is bullshit! Anyways, WWII was cool but its end was absolutely trash and I would like you guys to sign a petition to have it rewritten.
November 2020

Discord user cracks after seeing the word “sus”

oh my god among us isnt FUCKING FUNNY ANYMORE ITS BEEN MONTHS MONTHS IM SICK OF THIS SHIT JUST FIND SOMETHING ELSE PEOPLE OH MY GOD EVERYTHING ABOUT AMONG US IS UNCOOL LITERALLY EVERYTHING IT SCREAMS “IM A VIRGIN” AND GODDAMNIT THAT WHEN THE IMPOSTER IS SUS SHITB ITS NOT FUNNY ITS A DUDE ON METH WHY DO PEOPLE LAUGH AT THIS LIKE WHAT THE HELL BRO PLEASE FOR THE LOVE OF GOD HOLY SHIT HUMANITY IS FUCKed THIS IS AN ABSOLUTE ALL TIME LOW OH MY FYCKING LOOORDDD DUDE @everyone STOP MAKING AMONG US JOKES ITS NOT FUCKING FUNNY holy shit fuck anybody who finds among us funny im done with this shit
July 2021

Among Us / Amogus

TO GET DROP YOU MUST PUT HAT ON

twitchquotes: TO PartyHat GET DROP YOU MUST PUT HAT ON THE Kappa
twitch chat
September 2018
FACEIT TV

Hey Jon Snow, im drafting a rogue deck in arena

twitchquotes: Hey Jon Snow, im drafting a rogue deck in arena and i'm 29 cards in. Should I pick backstab (like you got backstabbed by your fellow brothers), betrayal (like how they betrayed you) or shiv (like how you got shived multiple times).
twitch chat
June 2015

Classic

Hearthstone

Text-to-Speech Playing