[Copypasta] Ahsoka Tano

twitchquotes: Luke, did I ever tell you about Ahsoka Tano? She was your father’s exotic teenage alien apprentice, a fine piece of jailbait from a more civilized age. She had the tightest body and the perkiest little breasts in the galaxy; barely legal in most systems. Anakin and I used to doubleteam her at the end of every successful campaign during the Clone Wars, and once in a while we’d even have the entire 501st run a train over her, part of official Jedi “training” of course. In time, she learned how to handle a meatsaber better than anyone in the Jedi Temple. She wore a miniskirt every day so we told her there were no panties in space, and since she was constantly doing acrobatics you’d get a glimpse of her orange pussy mid fight as she’d do a flip while slicing a B2 Super Battledroid in half. It was surreal. We taught her to grip her weapon backwards like a dildo and she constantly got captured by pirates and slavers almost every other day. It was ridiculous, like a constant porno Luke, you have no idea. And she was a good friend.
twitch chat
November 2020
I used to be a real ad
More Copypastas

Well met m'ladies of Twitch Chat

twitchquotes: Wᴇʟʟ ᴍᴇᴛ ᴍ'ʟᴀᴅɪᴇs ᴏғ Tᴡɪᴛᴄʜ Cʜᴀᴛ! I'ᴍ ᴀɴ ᴇʟɪɢɪʙʟᴇ, ғᴀsʜɪᴏɴᴀʙʟᴇ (ᴏɴʟʏ ᴛʜᴇ ʟᴀᴛᴇsᴛ ᴛᴀɪʟᴏʀᴇᴅ ғᴇᴅᴏʀᴀs) ʙᴀᴄʜᴇʟᴏʀ, ᴡʜᴏ ᴇɴᴊᴏʏs ᴏɴʟʏ ᴛʜᴇ ғɪɴᴇsᴛ Dᴏʀɪᴛᴏs (Cᴏᴏʟ Rᴀɴᴄʜ). Iғ ᴀɴʏ ʙᴜxᴏᴍ ғᴇᴍᴀʟᴇs (ɴᴏ ғᴀᴛᴛɪᴇs) ᴀʀᴇ ɪɴᴛᴇʀᴇsᴛᴇᴅ ɪɴ sᴇx, ᴘʟᴇᴀsᴇ sᴇɴᴅ ᴍᴇ ᴀ Tᴡɪᴛᴄʜ PM.
twitch chat
May 2015
Tempo Storm

Kripp reviews a card

twitchquotes: ☐ I got the beast in my sights ☐ Hoot hoot ☐ That belongs in a museum ☐ Let me change your mind ☑ I looked at this card originally, and I thought, you know, it’s a card, and you play this card. The card will be that card that you’ve played, so you’re playing a card. So it is one thing to play a card if your opponent doesn’t really have any cards. The card will screw up the card pretty hard, and that means it’s a pretty good card.
twitch chat
May 2016
Kripp

Hearthstone

When you clean your vacuum cleaner

twitchquotes: When you clean your vacuum cleaner, aren't you the vacuum cleaner? :thinking:
twitch chat
July 2018

Duck

⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⢋⣩⣭⣶⣶⣮⣭⡙⠿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠿⣋⣴⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣦⡙⢿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡃⠄⠹⡿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠟⠛⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⡌⢿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠐⣠⡶⣶⣲⡎⢻⣿⣤⣴⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠸⣿⣿ ⣿⠟⣋⡥⡶⣞⡯⣟⣾⣺⢽⡧⣥⣭⣉⢻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣆⢻⣿ ⡃⣾⢯⢿⢽⣫⡯⣷⣳⢯⡯⠯⠷⠻⠞⣼⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡌⣿ ⣦⣍⡙⠫⠛⠕⣋⡓⠭⣡⢶⠗⣡⣶⡝⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣧⢹ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣘⣛⣋⣡⣵⣾⣿⣿⣿⢸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⢸ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⢸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⢸ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⢸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⢸
December 2019

7/11 was a part time job

twitchquotes: deIlluminati 7/11 was a part time job deIlluminati
twitch chat
July 2015
Kripp
Text-to-Speech Playing