[Copypasta] Ahsoka Tano

twitchquotes: Luke, did I ever tell you about Ahsoka Tano? She was your father’s exotic teenage alien apprentice, a fine piece of jailbait from a more civilized age. She had the tightest body and the perkiest little breasts in the galaxy; barely legal in most systems. Anakin and I used to doubleteam her at the end of every successful campaign during the Clone Wars, and once in a while we’d even have the entire 501st run a train over her, part of official Jedi “training” of course. In time, she learned how to handle a meatsaber better than anyone in the Jedi Temple. She wore a miniskirt every day so we told her there were no panties in space, and since she was constantly doing acrobatics you’d get a glimpse of her orange pussy mid fight as she’d do a flip while slicing a B2 Super Battledroid in half. It was surreal. We taught her to grip her weapon backwards like a dildo and she constantly got captured by pirates and slavers almost every other day. It was ridiculous, like a constant porno Luke, you have no idea. And she was a good friend.
twitch chat
November 2020
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More Copypastas

Lieutenant Clitt Nippley of the Greek Army

twitchquotes: Dear Kripp, this is lieutenant Clitt Nippley of the Greek Army. It has come to our attention that you've been 'BroFisting' many of our citizens against their will. If you continue this, I have full authority to launch a nuclear attack against you and your evil 5 dollar club. You've been warned.
twitch chat
November 2014
Kripp

You've seen Miku on stage, but what about your wrist?

You’ve 📡👨 seen 👀👤🎅🏻 Miku on 🔛 stage, 4️⃣💖 but 😠 what 👏🏼 about 🥴 your 👉 wrist? ⌚💯 Wrist ⌚💯 World 🌍 is an AR game 🎯 using 😏 wristbands, now 🫂 featuring Hatsune Miku! Collect songs, dances, and even ✋ save 🦎 the world! 🌍 Do 👀 You 👀👦 Wrist ⌚💯 World? 🌎 wrist ⌚💯 world 🌍🌎🌏
June 2021

Emoji Pasta

With love from me, your dad, to you, my son

twitchquotes: Sebastian Fors, I think it'll be hard for you to take this in but here go. I've wanted to write you this message since the day you started streaming. Though I'm not happy how you act here, roleplaying and god knows what while streaming. But you know that I will allways love you. I'm coming to dreamhack this summer and I'll finally get to meet you. If you remember your mother, Hafu, you will understand why leaving you with her was my only option... I have not been the greatest father... but I'll allways love you and care for you. Even though people call you a roleplayer I will allways protect you. WIth love from me, your dad, to you, my son. - Trump
twitch chat
December 2014
Forsen

I highlight every message

twitchquotes: Lmao you call yourself a [insert streamer] fan? I'm fucking loaded on channel points bro. I highlight every message because I'm just that jacked. Try talking in chat again when you're a true fan
twitch chat
January 2020

Classic

Tired of Weebs? No problem!

twitchquotes: Tired of Weebs? No problem! Here at Weeb Deflectors™ we can shield your Twitch chat Queue from incoming Weebs with our new patent-pending WeebShield™ Technology! Our shield will bounce incoming Weebs right back to the dark place they came from (definitely not HEARTHSTONE), causing them to effectively Spread their disease called anime to themselves! Buy 24/7 protection now for only $24.99/month!
twitch chat
August 2017

Weebs

Classic

Text-to-Speech Playing