[Copypasta] Luigi's donger

twitchquotes: In 2018 Nintendo released official marketing art that featured Luigi in Mario Tennis, fans were able to figure out the length of Luigi’s penis by measuring the tennis racket compared to luigi’s bulge in the image. Since Tennis rackets are 28 inches long in real life, by measuring the pixels we were able to mathematically deduce that Luigi’s penis is 3.7 inches flacid.
twitch chat
December 2020
What happened to this ad? :(
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I was only 14 years old I loved xQc so much

I was only 14 years old I loved xQc so much, I had all the merchandise and VODS. I pray to xQc every night, thanking him for the life I've been given. "xQc is love" I say "xQc is life" My dad hears me and calls me a Juicer. I knew he was jealous of my devotion to xQc. I called him baj He hits me and sends me to sleep I'm crying now and my face hurts. I lay in bed, really cold. I feel something warm... Its xQc! I was so happy. He whispers in my ear "This is my jungle" He grabs me with his hands, and puts me on my hands and knees. I'm ready. I spread my ass cheeks for xQc. He penetrates my butthole. It hurts so much, but I do it for xQc. I can feel my butt tearing and eyes watering. I want to please xQc. He roars a mighty roar as he fills my butt with the juice. My dad walks in. xQc looks him straight in the eye and says, He got the Juice now. xQc leaves through my window. xQc is love. xQc is life.
January 2022
xQcOW

I'm meeting a girl (a real one)

Not gonna be active on Discord tonight. I'm meeting a girl (a real one) in half an hour (wouldn't expect a lot of you to understand anyway) so please don't DM me asking me where I am (im with the girl, ok) you'll most likely get aired because ill be with the girl (again I don't expect you to understand) shes actually really interested in me and its not a situation i can pass up for some meaningless Discord degenerates (because ill be meeting a girl, not that you really are going to understand) this is my life now. Meeting women and not wasting my precious time online, I have to move on from such simple things and branch out (you wouldnt understand)
February 2021

Discord

Whisper solemnly into the dark. 'kripparrian'

twitchquotes: ｗａｋｉｎｇ ｓｕｄｄｅｎｌｙ． ｉ ｆｅｅｌ ｃｕｍ ｉｎ ｍｙ ｄｉａｐｅｒ． ｉ ｗｈｉｓｐｅｒ ｓｏｌｅｍｎｌｙ ｉｎｔｏ ｔｈｅ ｄａｒｋ． 'ｋｒｉｐｐａｒｒｉａｎ．'
twitch chat
March 2014
Kripp

what's a fella gotta do to get some apple juice?

⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠠⠂⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⡀⠄⢀⣀⣀⣀⣀⣀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⢀⣤⠖⢋⡤⠊⠁⠀⠀⣀⣠⣤⣤⣦⣤⣄⣀⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⢠⣾⠁⢀⣤⣶⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣦⣄⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⢠⡿⣫⣶⣿What's⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣦⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⣼⣿⣿⣿a⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⡀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⢀⣿fella⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠛⠉⠛⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡟⠁⠈⠻⣿⣷⡀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⣾⣿gotta⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠀⠀⣀⡀⠈⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⢠⣤⡀⠀⣿⣿⣧⠀⠀ ⠀⢸⣿⣿do⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣄⢸⣿⣿⢀⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠃⢠⣿⣿⣿⠀⠀ ⠀⣼⣿⣿around⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣾⣷⣿⣿⣿⣿⠿⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡆⠀ ⠀⢸⣿⣿here⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠟⠛⠋⠀⠀⣀⡈⠉⢻⣿⣿⣿⣿⠁⠀ ⠀⢸⣿⣿to⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣦⣤⣤⣤⠾⠛⣿⡶⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⢿⣿get⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣌⠳⣄⣀⡿⣸⣿⣿⣿⣿⡏⠀⢀ ⠀⠀⠈⢿⣿some⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣮⣭⣴⣿⣿⣿⣿⡟⢀⣴⣿ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿apple juice?⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣫⣶⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣶⣤⣄⡀⠈⠛⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿
ascii art
April 2019

Well you see sir, I watch Starcraft

Today my 12 year old and I walked into Harvard to sign him up for college. The dean rudely asked why a 12 year old was signing up for a prestigious institute. My son proclaimed "Well you see sir, I watch Starcraft". The dean tried to apologize but the police rushed in and dragged him out. My son passed all his classes with 4.0s and graduated magnet koom louder on the first day of college.
December 2020
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