[Copypasta] Luigi's donger

twitchquotes: In 2018 Nintendo released official marketing art that featured Luigi in Mario Tennis, fans were able to figure out the length of Luigi’s penis by measuring the tennis racket compared to luigi’s bulge in the image. Since Tennis rackets are 28 inches long in real life, by measuring the pixels we were able to mathematically deduce that Luigi’s penis is 3.7 inches flacid.
twitch chat
December 2020
(▀̿Ĺ̯├┬┴┬┴ Psst... kid, you wanna disable adblock?
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Hi Kripp, this is OJ, your long lost brother

twitchquotes: ʜɪ ᴋʀɪᴘᴘ, ᴛʜɪs ɪs ᴏᴊ, ʏᴏᴜʀ ʟᴏɴɢ ʟᴏsᴛ ʙʀᴏᴛʜᴇʀ. ɪ ғᴏᴜɴᴅ ʏᴏᴜ ᴠɪᴀ ᴘᴏʀɴʜᴜʙ ᴀɴᴅ ɪ ᴡᴏᴜʟᴅ ʟᴏᴠᴇ ᴛᴏ ɢᴇᴛ ɪɴ ᴄᴏɴᴛᴀᴄᴛ ᴡɪᴛʜ ʏᴏᴜ ᴀɢᴀɪɴ ᴀɴᴅ ɢɪᴠᴇ ᴘᴀᴘᴘᴀʀɪᴀɴ ᴀ ʜᴜɢ. ᴘʟᴇᴀsᴇ ʟᴇᴛs ʙᴏɴᴅ ᴀɴᴅ ᴡᴀᴛᴄʜ ᴘᴏʀɴ ᴛᴏɢᴇᴛʜᴇʀ ᴀᴛ ᴛʜᴇ ᴘᴏʀɴʜᴜʙs, ɪ ʜᴇᴀʀᴅ ʏᴏᴜ ᴡᴇʀᴇ sᴛᴀʀʀɪɴɢ ᴏɴᴇ... ᴘʟᴇᴀsᴇ ʀᴇᴘʟʏ ᴀsᴀᴘ ᴏᴄᴛᴀᴠɪᴀɴ, ʏᴏᴜʀ ʟᴏᴠɪɴɢ ʙʀᴏᴛʜᴇʀ - ᴏᴊ.
twitch chat
April 2014
Kripp

I was only 14 years old I loved xQc so much

I was only 14 years old I loved xQc so much, I had all the merchandise and VODS. I pray to xQc every night, thanking him for the life I've been given. "xQc is love" I say "xQc is life" My dad hears me and calls me a Juicer. I knew he was jealous of my devotion to xQc. I called him baj He hits me and sends me to sleep I'm crying now and my face hurts. I lay in bed, really cold. I feel something warm... Its xQc! I was so happy. He whispers in my ear "This is my jungle" He grabs me with his hands, and puts me on my hands and knees. I'm ready. I spread my ass cheeks for xQc. He penetrates my butthole. It hurts so much, but I do it for xQc. I can feel my butt tearing and eyes watering. I want to please xQc. He roars a mighty roar as he fills my butt with the juice. My dad walks in. xQc looks him straight in the eye and says, He got the Juice now. xQc leaves through my window. xQc is love. xQc is life.
January 2022
xQcOW

Troll face 4

⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣠⣴⠶⠶⣶⠶⠶⠶⠶⠶⠶⠶⠶⠶⢶⠶⠶⠶⠤⠤⠤⠤⣄⣀⣀⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣠⡾⠋⠀⠀⠊⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠒⠒⠒⠀⠀⠀⠀⠤⢤⣤⣄⠉⠉⠛⠛⠷⣦⣀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣰⠟⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠐⠋⢑⣤⣶⣶⣤⡢⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣠⣄⡂⠀⠀⠶⢄⠙⢷⣤⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣸⡿⠚⠉⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢰⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡄⠀⠀⠀⢢⠀⠀⡀⣰⣿⣿⣿⣿⣦⡀⠀⠀⠡⡀⢹⡆⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣴⠏⠀⣀⣀⣀⡤⢤⣄⣠⣿⣿⣿⣿⣻⣿⣿⣷⠀⢋⣾⠈⠙⣶⠒⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠟⠃⠀⡀⠡⠼⣧⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⢀⣴⣿⢃⡴⢊⢽⣶⣤⣀⠀⠊⠉⠉⡛⢿⣿⣿⣿⠿⠋⢀⡀⠁⠀⠀⢸⣁⣀⣉⣉⣉⡉⠀⠩⡡⠀⣩⣦⠀⠈⠻⣦⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⢠⡟⢡⠇⡞⢀⠆⠀⢻⣿⣿⣷⣄⠀⢀⠈⠂⠈⢁⡤⠚⡟⠉⠀⣀⣀⠀⠈⠳⣍⠓⢆⢀⡠⢀⣨⣴⣿⣿⡏⢀⡆⠀⢸⡇⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⣾⠁⢸⠀⠀⢸⠀⠀⠀⠹⣿⣿⣿⣿⣶⣬⣦⣤⡈⠀⠀⠇⠀⠛⠉⣩⣤⣤⣤⣿⣤⣤⣴⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣧⠞⠀⠀⢸⡇⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⢹⣆⠸⠀⠀⢸⠀⠀⠀⠀⠘⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣟⣛⠛⠛⣛⡛⠛⠛⣛⣋⡉⠉⣡⠶⢾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡇⠀⠀⢀⣾⠃⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠻⣆⡀⠀⠈⢂⠀⠀⠀⠠⡈⢻⣿⣿⣿⣿⡟⠁⠈⢧⡼⠉⠙⣆⡞⠁⠈⢹⣴⠃⠀⢸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠃⠀⡆⣾⠃⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠈⢻⣇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢡⠀⠹⣿⣿⣿⣷⡀⠀⣸⡇⠀⠀⣿⠁⠀⠀⠘⣿⠀⠀⠘⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠀⠀⣿⡇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠹⣇⠀⠠⠀⠀⠀⠀⠡⠐⢬⡻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣶⣶⣿⣦⣤⣤⣤⣿⣦⣶⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠀⠀⣿⡇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠹⣧⡀⠡⡀⠀⠀⠀⠑⠄⠙⢎⠻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣦⠀⢿⡇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⠳⣤⡐⡄⠀⠀⠀⠈⠂⠀⠱⣌⠻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠿⣿⠟⢻⡏⢻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠀⢸⡇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⠻⢮⣦⡀⠂⠀⢀⠀⠀⠈⠳⣈⠻⣿⣿⣿⡇⠘⡄⢸⠀⠀⣇⠀⣻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡏⠀⠸⡇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠉⠛⢶⣤⣄⡑⠄⠀⠀⠈⠑⠢⠙⠻⢷⣶⣵⣞⣑⣒⣋⣉⣁⣻⣿⠿⠟⠱⠃⡸⠀⣧⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠉⠛⠻⣷⣄⡀⠐⠢⣄⣀⡀⠀⠉⠉⠉⠉⠛⠙⠭⠭⠄⠒⠈⠀⠐⠁⢀⣿⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠉⠛⠷⢦⣤⣤⣀⣀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣒⡠⠄⣠⡾⠃⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠉⠙⠛⠷⠶⣦⣤⣭⣤⣬⣭⣭⣴⠶⠛⠉⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
May 2021

NFL football teams allow kickers that just miss

twitchquotes: I’ll never understand how college and NFL football teams allow kickers that just.... miss... kicks. I feel like there has to be pools of kickers in the USA that won’t miss simple kicks. Or snappers that won’t mess the snaps idk man it seems so SILLY. Would love opinions on this.
twitch chat
December 2019

Stock space rocket

.           ✦             ˚              *                       .              .            ✦              ‍ ‍ ‍ ‍                  ,       .             .   ゚      .             .       ,       .                                  ☀️                                                        .           .             .                                                                                        ✦       ,          [stock ticker]🚀        ,    ‍ ‍ ‍ ‍               .            .                                             ˚            ,                                       .                      .             .               *            ✦                                               .                  .           .        .     🌑              .           .              ˚                     ゚     .               .      🌎 ‍ ‍ ‍ ‍ ‍ ‍ ‍ ‍ ‍ ‍ ,                * .                    .           ✦             ˚              *                        .
January 2021

WallStreetBets

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