This is bullshit. Iām disgusted and Iām honestly on the verge of having a mental fucking breakdown. Robinhood has once again halted trading. But this time itās halted on all stocks. This fine Monday morning I wake up to find that all orders arenāt going to be filled till tomorrow morning. My dadās wifeās girlfriend is a powerful lawyer in Boca Raton and Iām seriously considering retaining her services and filing a class action lawsuit against these citadel dick munchers. This has happened to me too many times. Iām low key spiraling into madness. Donate to me on onlyfans if you want to contribute towards the legal fees. Sheās giving me a pretty kickass discount, but she estimates itās still going to cost $150k. This happens to be the amount I lost on gme, but this is not relevant to the conversation here. Itās time to rise up and take down robinhood once and for all.
Also, yeah my stepmom has a girlfriend. Itās 2021 you bigots.
This is bullshit. Iām disgusted and Iām honestly on the verge of having a mental fucking breakdown. Robinhood has once again halted trading. But this time itās halted on all stocks. This fine Monday morning I wake up to find that all orders arenāt going to be filled till tomorrow morning. My dadās wifeās girlfriend is a powerful lawyer in Boca Raton and Iām seriously considering retaining her services and filing a class action lawsuit against these citadel dick munchers. This has happened to me too many times. Iām low key spiraling into madness. Donate to me on onlyfans if you want to contribute towards the legal fees. Sheās giving me a pretty kickass discount, but she estimates itās still going to cost $150k. This happens to be the amount I lost on gme, but this is not relevant to the conversation here. Itās time to rise up and take down robinhood once and for all.
Also, yeah my stepmom has a girlfriend. Itās 2021 you bigots.
Darth Bearish the Regarded
Did you ever hear the tragedy of "Darth Bearish the Regarded"?
I thought not. Itās not a story any bull would tell you.
Itās an ancient Bear legend.
Darth Bearish was a Dark Lord of the Bears, so well capitalized and so regarded he could use Leverage to influence gamma to create profitsā¦ He had such a knowledge of the dark side of Leverage that he could even keep other traders he cared about from being margin called.
But the dark side of Leverage is a pathway to many abilities some consider to be... unnatural. He became so bearishā¦ the only thing he was afraid of was losing his positions, which eventually, of course, he did.
Unfortunately, he taught his apprentice everything he knew, then his apprentice reversed his positions in his sleep. Ironic. He could save others from bankruptcy, but not himself!
Did you ever hear the tragedy of "Darth Bearish the Regarded"?
I thought not. Itās not a story any bull would tell you.
Itās an ancient Bear legend.
Darth Bearish was a Dark Lord of the Bears, so well capitalized and so regarded he could use Leverage to influence gamma to create profitsā¦ He had such a knowledge of the dark side of Leverage that he could even keep other traders he cared about from being margin called.
But the dark side of Leverage is a pathway to many abilities some consider to be... unnatural. He became so bearishā¦ the only thing he was afraid of was losing his positions, which eventually, of course, he did.
Unfortunately, he taught his apprentice everything he knew, then his apprentice reversed his positions in his sleep. Ironic. He could save others from bankruptcy, but not himself!
Team Bull vs Team Bear
Team Bull
Jerome "We print it digitally" Powell
Elon "TSLA stonk too low imo" Musk
Nancy "Stimulus talks going well" Pelosi
Donny "Stop the count" Mango
Janet "Unlimited QE bitch" Yellen
Lisa "Su Bae" Su
Ryan "Make Gamestop great again" Cohen
------------------------------------------------------------------------
VS
------------------------------------------------------------------------
Team Bear
Jeff "No stock split to keep the poors out" Bezos
Mitch "Stimulus talks not going well" Mcconnell
Steven "Discontinue the PPP" Mnuchin
Andrew "PlTr PrIcE tArGeT $10" Left
Tim "Don't call me by my slave name" Apple
Michael "I'm publicly shorting TSLA" Burry
Warren "I fought in the Civil War" Buffet
Which team will win?
Team Bull or Team Bear?
Load up on weeklies for a ticket to the pay per view hell in the cell match.
------------------------------------------------------------------------
Special Guests:
That one JPM analyst with TSLA 90p 12/18
Life savings SPCE calls guy
Jim "FUCK ROBINHOOD" Cramer
Team Bull
Jerome "We print it digitally" Powell
Elon "TSLA stonk too low imo" Musk
Nancy "Stimulus talks going well" Pelosi
Donny "Stop the count" Mango
Janet "Unlimited QE bitch" Yellen
Lisa "Su Bae" Su
Ryan "Make Gamestop great again" Cohen
------------------------------------------------------------------------
VS
------------------------------------------------------------------------
Team Bear
Jeff "No stock split to keep the poors out" Bezos
Mitch "Stimulus talks not going well" Mcconnell
Steven "Discontinue the PPP" Mnuchin
Andrew "PlTr PrIcE tArGeT $10" Left
Tim "Don't call me by my slave name" Apple
Michael "I'm publicly shorting TSLA" Burry
Warren "I fought in the Civil War" Buffet
Which team will win?
Team Bull or Team Bear?
Load up on weeklies for a ticket to the pay per view hell in the cell match.
------------------------------------------------------------------------
Special Guests:
That one JPM analyst with TSLA 90p 12/18
Life savings SPCE calls guy
Jim "FUCK ROBINHOOD" Cramer
I am financially ruined
I came here for the first time and in 3 minutes made the decision to put way more than I can afford into PLTR calls. Iām too retarded and now I literally dont know what to do I am financially ruined and I canāt even remember what I read that said this pltr thing was a good move. Fml
I came here for the first time and in 3 minutes made the decision to put way more than I can afford into PLTR calls. Iām too retarded and now I literally dont know what to do I am financially ruined and I canāt even remember what I read that said this pltr thing was a good move. Fml
Stonks only go up. But you don't.
You watch her as she brushes her hair. Sheās humming a song you canāt quite hear and smiling to herself. Not for the first time, you wonder why this person chose you.
She turns. āWhat do you want for Christmas?ā You want to scream Save your money!, but you only shrug. āNothing, really.ā
āNothing?ā She crawls into bed and touches your leg. āAre you sure?ā Again, you wonder why this person chose you.
As she takes the weight of you in her hand, your mind wanders. To your puts. Theyāll expire worthless, like you. After several minutes of failing to conjure your manhood, she asks, āWhatās wrong?ā
Stonks only go up.
But you donāt.
You watch her as she brushes her hair. Sheās humming a song you canāt quite hear and smiling to herself. Not for the first time, you wonder why this person chose you.
She turns. āWhat do you want for Christmas?ā You want to scream Save your money!, but you only shrug. āNothing, really.ā
āNothing?ā She crawls into bed and touches your leg. āAre you sure?ā Again, you wonder why this person chose you.
As she takes the weight of you in her hand, your mind wanders. To your puts. Theyāll expire worthless, like you. After several minutes of failing to conjure your manhood, she asks, āWhatās wrong?ā
Stonks only go up.
But you donāt.
I used to be a real ad