[Copypasta] Bloomberg terminal vs toilet trading

Imagine spending 20K on a bloomberg terminal and thousands on hardware just to get smoke checked by some retards on the toilet trading on their phone that are not only on the spectrum but might be the actual spectrum.
December 2020

WallStreetBets

What happened to this ad? :(
More WallStreetBets Copypastas

Wallstreetbet's Christmas break

Gonna be checking the market every chance I get while pretending to think my brother-in-law's Cards Against Humanity answers are funny.
December 2020

WallStreetBets

Oh my gourd, I am financially ruined (agricultural futures)

I have lost everything, and I'm not sure how to continue. This summer I invested $17,500 (six months salary and my entire life savings) into ornamental gourd futures, hoping to capitalize on this lucrative emerging industry. After watching a video about Vincent Kosuga and his monopoly on onions, I decided I'd try to do something similar with another vegetable. I did some research and found out many agricultural forecasters expected this year's gourd yield would be far smaller than the past, due to deteriorating soil conditions in central Mexico and a warmer-than-average spring. At first, demand soared around Halloween and prices skyrocketed, but the gourd bubble burst on November 12th. Unfortunately, the coronavirus caused a massive drop-off in demand due to fewer families decorating their tables for thanksgiving, and prices plummeted. I had invested early enough that I thought I would still be fine, but then on the morning of December 2nd, a new email in my inbox caused my stomach to turn into a pretzel. The massive gourd shipment from Argentina, scheduled for early March, had arrived. I was planning on selling off my futures right before this, in February, but this ruined everything. To top it off, the gourds in this shipment were absolutely gargantuan, some topping 4 pounds each, causing the price-per-pound to drop like an anchor into the range of 6 cents per pound. I am ruined.
January 2021

Classic

WallStreetBets

Daily WSB trader routine

1. Wake up 2. Check memfolio, buy more PLTR calls 3. Shit while looking at charts, don’t wipe 4. Fomo and buy the top 5. Watch stock Plummet 6. Sell, watch stock go up 7. Go to WSB and downvote everything 8. Jerk off, nut, realize how empty you are 9. Stare at futures for 3 hours 10. Sleep & repeat
December 2020

WallStreetBets

HODL

πŸŒ‘πŸŒ‘πŸŒ‘πŸŒ‘πŸŒ‘πŸŒ‘πŸŒ‘πŸŒ‘πŸŒ‘ πŸŒ‘πŸŒ‘πŸŒ•πŸŒ˜πŸŒ‘πŸŒ’πŸŒ•πŸŒ‘πŸŒ‘ πŸŒ‘πŸŒ’πŸŒ•πŸŒ—πŸŒ‘πŸŒ“πŸŒ•πŸŒ‘πŸŒ‘ πŸŒ‘πŸŒ’πŸŒ•πŸŒ—πŸŒ‘πŸŒ“πŸŒ•πŸŒ˜πŸŒ‘ πŸŒ‘πŸŒ’πŸŒ•πŸŒ•πŸŒ•πŸŒ•πŸŒ•πŸŒ˜πŸŒ‘ πŸŒ‘πŸŒ’πŸŒ•πŸŒ–πŸŒ•πŸŒ”πŸŒ•πŸŒ˜πŸŒ‘ πŸŒ‘πŸŒ’πŸŒ•πŸŒ—πŸŒ‘πŸŒ“πŸŒ•πŸŒ˜πŸŒ‘ πŸŒ‘πŸŒ’πŸŒ•πŸŒ˜πŸŒ‘πŸŒ“πŸŒ•πŸŒ˜πŸŒ‘ πŸŒ‘πŸŒ‘πŸŒ‘πŸŒ‘πŸŒ‘πŸŒ‘πŸŒ‘πŸŒ‘πŸŒ‘ πŸŒ‘πŸŒ‘πŸŒ‘πŸŒ‘πŸŒ‘πŸŒ‘πŸŒ‘πŸŒ‘πŸŒ‘ πŸŒ‘πŸŒ‘πŸŒ‘πŸŒ”πŸŒ•πŸŒ–πŸŒ‘πŸŒ‘πŸŒ‘ πŸŒ‘πŸŒ‘πŸŒ”πŸŒ•πŸŒ•πŸŒ•πŸŒ•πŸŒ‘πŸŒ‘ πŸŒ‘πŸŒ’πŸŒ•πŸŒ—πŸŒ‘πŸŒ’πŸŒ•πŸŒ—πŸŒ‘ πŸŒ‘πŸŒ“πŸŒ•πŸŒ˜πŸŒ‘πŸŒ‘πŸŒ•πŸŒ—πŸŒ‘ πŸŒ‘πŸŒ“πŸŒ•πŸŒ˜πŸŒ‘πŸŒ’πŸŒ•πŸŒ—πŸŒ‘ πŸŒ‘πŸŒ’πŸŒ•πŸŒ–πŸŒ‘πŸŒ“πŸŒ•πŸŒ˜πŸŒ‘ πŸŒ‘πŸŒ‘πŸŒ“πŸŒ•πŸŒ•πŸŒ•πŸŒ–πŸŒ‘πŸŒ‘ πŸŒ‘πŸŒ‘πŸŒ‘πŸŒ‘πŸŒ‘πŸŒ‘πŸŒ‘πŸŒ‘πŸŒ‘ πŸŒ‘πŸŒ‘πŸŒ‘πŸŒ‘πŸŒ‘πŸŒ‘πŸŒ‘πŸŒ‘πŸŒ‘ πŸŒ‘πŸŒ‘πŸŒ•πŸŒ•πŸŒ•πŸŒ‘πŸŒ‘πŸŒ‘πŸŒ‘ πŸŒ‘πŸŒ‘πŸŒ•πŸŒ•πŸŒ•πŸŒ•πŸŒ—πŸŒ‘πŸŒ‘ πŸŒ‘πŸŒ‘πŸŒ•πŸŒ–πŸŒ‘πŸŒ“πŸŒ•πŸŒ˜πŸŒ‘ πŸŒ‘πŸŒ‘πŸŒ•πŸŒ–πŸŒ‘πŸŒ“πŸŒ•πŸŒ˜πŸŒ‘ πŸŒ‘πŸŒ‘πŸŒ•πŸŒ–πŸŒ‘πŸŒ“πŸŒ•πŸŒ˜πŸŒ‘ πŸŒ‘πŸŒ‘πŸŒ•πŸŒ—πŸŒ‘πŸŒ•πŸŒ•πŸŒ‘πŸŒ‘ πŸŒ‘πŸŒ‘πŸŒ•πŸŒ•πŸŒ•πŸŒ•πŸŒ˜πŸŒ‘πŸŒ‘ πŸŒ‘πŸŒ‘πŸŒ‘πŸŒ‘πŸŒ‘πŸŒ‘πŸŒ‘πŸŒ‘πŸŒ‘ πŸŒ‘πŸŒ‘πŸŒ‘πŸŒ‘πŸŒ‘πŸŒ‘πŸŒ‘πŸŒ‘πŸŒ‘ πŸŒ‘πŸŒ‘πŸŒ’πŸŒ•πŸŒ‘πŸŒ‘πŸŒ‘πŸŒ‘πŸŒ‘ πŸŒ‘πŸŒ‘πŸŒ“πŸŒ•πŸŒ˜πŸŒ‘πŸŒ‘πŸŒ‘πŸŒ‘ πŸŒ‘πŸŒ‘πŸŒ“πŸŒ•πŸŒ˜πŸŒ‘πŸŒ‘πŸŒ‘πŸŒ‘ πŸŒ‘πŸŒ‘πŸŒ“πŸŒ•πŸŒ‘πŸŒ‘πŸŒ‘πŸŒ‘πŸŒ‘ πŸŒ‘πŸŒ‘πŸŒ“πŸŒ•πŸŒ‘πŸŒ‘πŸŒ‘πŸŒ‘πŸŒ‘ πŸŒ‘πŸŒ‘πŸŒ“πŸŒ•πŸŒ˜πŸŒ‘πŸŒ‘πŸŒ‘πŸŒ‘ πŸŒ‘πŸŒ‘πŸŒ“πŸŒ•πŸŒ•πŸŒ•πŸŒ–πŸŒ‘πŸŒ‘ πŸŒ‘πŸŒ‘πŸŒ‘πŸŒ‘πŸŒ‘πŸŒ‘πŸŒ‘πŸŒ‘πŸŒ‘
February 2021

WallStreetBets

Hopefully the FBI can find Jack Ma

FBI set up a tip line for people to send in videos and pictures of the people who stormed the capitol yesterday... I’ve been sending them pictures of Jack Ma. Hopefully they can find him.
January 2021

WallStreetBets

Text-to-Speech Playing