the year is 2021
A tesla drives down the street
unknowing of the danger behind it
a beast of American metal and lightning
The driver realizes he is in danger in his commie-fornia shoebox
He presses the pussy pedal as hard as he can
It cannot save him, he can hear the music already
"THIS IS GAWWWWWD'S COUNTRRRRRYYYYYYY"
He realizes he is already dead
In an instant he becomes like a fly in the grill of a truck
In the grill of the Ford F-150 EV
It stops for no one
I used to be a real ad
More WallStreetBets Copypastas
Christmas for a wsb trader
As the tree blinks from white to red to green, you look at the void under the tree that previously held presents. Fewer this year than usual, but some.
How did you get here? Boredom? In March, you felt trapped with your wife and infant. You needed something to pass the time. Something you could throw yourself into fully.
βAre you coming to bed?β your wife yells down the stairs. It seemed harmless at first, but as the pandemic drew on, so did your investment. Youβll stop soon, though. βSoon!β you reply, and you hear her feet climb the steps.
The lights start to blink chaotically. You cringe because you could only afford the junk strands at CVS. Suddenly they haltβthe alternation feature brokenβon red. The red fills the room and covers your flesh. You look down at your hands, and they look like theyβre bleeding. Like your calls.
After a timeβhours?βyou realize youβre sitting in complete darkness. Your lights have expired, worthless.
WallStreetBets
Hopefully the FBI can find Jack Ma
FBI set up a tip line for people to send in videos and pictures of the people who stormed the capitol yesterday... Iβve been sending them pictures of Jack Ma. Hopefully they can find him.
WallStreetBets
A man orders bat at his favorite restaurant
A man orders bat at his favorite restaurant.
3 years later,
NFLX fucking tanks 20% after earnings.
WallStreetBets
Stock space rocket
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γββββββγγγγγββββββββγγγγγγγγγγγγγ.
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βββγγγ,γγγγγγγγγγ[stock ticker]π γγγγ γγ,γγγ β β β β γ
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ββββββγγγγγγγγγγγγγγγγγγγΛγγγ γ ββγγγγ,γγγγγγ
γγγγβββββββγββββγγγγγγγγγγγγγγγγ.γγγ
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ββγγγγγ β¦ γγγγγγγβββββββββγββββββββγγγγ γγβγ
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γβγγγγγ.γγγγ π
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γΛγγγγγγγγγγγγγγγγγγγγγοΎγγγγγ.γγγγγγγγγγγγγγ
. γγβγ π β β β β β β β β β β ,γ γγγγγγγγγγγγγγ*
.γγγγγβγγγγγγγγγγγγγγ.γγγγγγγγγγ β¦ γγγγββ γ
γγγΛγγγγγγγγγγγγγγ*γγγγγγβ βγγγγγγγγγγγγγγγ.
WallStreetBets
Red futures :(
Bought a bunch of calls thinking I was going to be able to afford an escort to shit on my chest, now it's these red futures that are shitting on my chest.