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More WallStreetBets Copypastas
Darth Bearish the Regarded
Did you ever hear the tragedy of "Darth Bearish the Regarded"?
I thought not. Itās not a story any bull would tell you.
Itās an ancient Bear legend.
Darth Bearish was a Dark Lord of the Bears, so well capitalized and so regarded he could use Leverage to influence gamma to create profitsā¦ He had such a knowledge of the dark side of Leverage that he could even keep other traders he cared about from being margin called.
But the dark side of Leverage is a pathway to many abilities some consider to be... unnatural. He became so bearishā¦ the only thing he was afraid of was losing his positions, which eventually, of course, he did.
Unfortunately, he taught his apprentice everything he knew, then his apprentice reversed his positions in his sleep. Ironic. He could save others from bankruptcy, but not himself!
Did you ever hear the tragedy of "Darth Bearish the Regarded"?
I thought not. Itās not a story any bull would tell you.
Itās an ancient Bear legend.
Darth Bearish was a Dark Lord of the Bears, so well capitalized and so regarded he could use Leverage to influence gamma to create profitsā¦ He had such a knowledge of the dark side of Leverage that he could even keep other traders he cared about from being margin called.
But the dark side of Leverage is a pathway to many abilities some consider to be... unnatural. He became so bearishā¦ the only thing he was afraid of was losing his positions, which eventually, of course, he did.
Unfortunately, he taught his apprentice everything he knew, then his apprentice reversed his positions in his sleep. Ironic. He could save others from bankruptcy, but not himself!
Investing in gourd futures
Due to local fluctuations in the tropopause, the jet stream has been shifting rapidly in a counterclockwise vector, causing a rapid disincorporation of the Hadley vortex cells in the lower ionosphere. Because of this, the geostrophic solar wind balance has deteriorated rapidly in the northern hemisphere. In essence, autumnal weather patterns in the western United States will lead to the biggest ornamental gourd yield in recorded history. Investing in gourd agricultural futures could likely produce up to $1600 per day in passive income. However, investing at the apex of the curve would be the most conducive to profit as the arbitrage (particularly 12b-1 fees) will develop at a market share higher than the back-end load. Basically, no one will be able to buy the stock at a higher price than you, and all value invested will be retained. A preliminary market penetration investment of $50,000 would be most efficient in generating this revenue.
Due to local fluctuations in the tropopause, the jet stream has been shifting rapidly in a counterclockwise vector, causing a rapid disincorporation of the Hadley vortex cells in the lower ionosphere. Because of this, the geostrophic solar wind balance has deteriorated rapidly in the northern hemisphere. In essence, autumnal weather patterns in the western United States will lead to the biggest ornamental gourd yield in recorded history. Investing in gourd agricultural futures could likely produce up to $1600 per day in passive income. However, investing at the apex of the curve would be the most conducive to profit as the arbitrage (particularly 12b-1 fees) will develop at a market share higher than the back-end load. Basically, no one will be able to buy the stock at a higher price than you, and all value invested will be retained. A preliminary market penetration investment of $50,000 would be most efficient in generating this revenue.
Stonks only go up. But you don't.
You watch her as she brushes her hair. Sheās humming a song you canāt quite hear and smiling to herself. Not for the first time, you wonder why this person chose you.
She turns. āWhat do you want for Christmas?ā You want to scream Save your money!, but you only shrug. āNothing, really.ā
āNothing?ā She crawls into bed and touches your leg. āAre you sure?ā Again, you wonder why this person chose you.
As she takes the weight of you in her hand, your mind wanders. To your puts. Theyāll expire worthless, like you. After several minutes of failing to conjure your manhood, she asks, āWhatās wrong?ā
Stonks only go up.
But you donāt.
You watch her as she brushes her hair. Sheās humming a song you canāt quite hear and smiling to herself. Not for the first time, you wonder why this person chose you.
She turns. āWhat do you want for Christmas?ā You want to scream Save your money!, but you only shrug. āNothing, really.ā
āNothing?ā She crawls into bed and touches your leg. āAre you sure?ā Again, you wonder why this person chose you.
As she takes the weight of you in her hand, your mind wanders. To your puts. Theyāll expire worthless, like you. After several minutes of failing to conjure your manhood, she asks, āWhatās wrong?ā
Stonks only go up.
But you donāt.
I am financially ruined
I came here for the first time and in 3 minutes made the decision to put way more than I can afford into PLTR calls. Iām too retarded and now I literally dont know what to do I am financially ruined and I canāt even remember what I read that said this pltr thing was a good move. Fml
I came here for the first time and in 3 minutes made the decision to put way more than I can afford into PLTR calls. Iām too retarded and now I literally dont know what to do I am financially ruined and I canāt even remember what I read that said this pltr thing was a good move. Fml
I challenge you to āTurtle Kingā
Before my ban, someone challenged me to a duel with cocks.
I challenge you to āTurtle Kingā instead.
We each dock our unhardened cocks into each other, then we put on clips of Yellen speaking during FOMC meetings.
The first to effectively go from flaccid to erect and push the other out of the ādockā is crowned Turtle š¤“.
Dual me, Iām 4-0.
Before my ban, someone challenged me to a duel with cocks.
I challenge you to āTurtle Kingā instead.
We each dock our unhardened cocks into each other, then we put on clips of Yellen speaking during FOMC meetings.
The first to effectively go from flaccid to erect and push the other out of the ādockā is crowned Turtle š¤“.
Dual me, Iām 4-0.
