[Copypasta] bears are fuk

I hate people saying bears are fuk or bulls are fuk. Stop saying that. It's very rude. Just say bears are fuk
December 2020

WallStreetBets

I used to be a real ad
More WallStreetBets Copypastas

Hello gentleman, I have suffered a loss of 69K

Hello gentleman, I regretfully wish to share with you all that I shant comment on this Internet forum henceforth. As of the time of my arrival in this past autumn, I have suffered a loss of 69K. By the blessing of Lady Luck, I am still experiencing a positive net balance of 420%, so I have come to the conclusion I must liquidate my insignificant phallus account. I shall use this fortune for procuring a vaginal enlargement and acquire tremendous breasts for my OnlyAristocracy parchment. Or I may be devilish and maintain an investment position in TournamentCease. I am short of hours of leisure in life, training dogs to consume peanut butter from the reaches of my posterior and can not bare the rapid change of value of my investment holdings of 40 point 7 grand. I am aware that you, my peers of this financial derivatives Internet forum are filled with ecstasy to become privy to this, so copulate with yourself, I desire you all to be ablaze in nonheteronormative ursine hell in tandem with Sadam.
March 2021

WallStreetBets

Bloomberg terminal vs toilet trading

Imagine spending 20K on a bloomberg terminal and thousands on hardware just to get smoke checked by some retards on the toilet trading on their phone that are not only on the spectrum but might be the actual spectrum.
December 2020

WallStreetBets

What the fuck did you just fucking say about OTM FDs

What the fuck did you just fucking say about OTM FDs, you little bitch? I'll have you know I graduated bottom of my class in the Special Needs Division of the Navy Seals, and I've been bag holding from pump n' dumps on WSB since 2012, AND I have over 300 confirmed margin calls. I am trained in the 'tism and I'm the top retard in the entire United States armed forces. You are nothing to me but just another normie retail investor. I will wipe out my portfolio with precision the likes of which has never been seen before on this Earth, mark my fucking words. You think you can get away with saying that shit about OTM FDs over the Internet? Think again, fuckface. As we speak I am contacting my wife's network of boyfriends across the USA and your IP is being traced right now so you better prepare for the storm, maggot. The storm that wipes out the pathetic little thing you call your portfolio. Your fucking 401k is dead, kid. I can trade anywhere, anytime, and I can lose fat stacks over seven hundred ways, and that's just with TSLA FDs. Not only am I extensively trained in sniffing glue, but I have access to the entire crayon collection of the United States Marine Corps and I will use it to its full extent to wipe your miserable ass boomer stocks off the face of the continent, you little shit. If only you could have known what unholy retribution your little "clever" comment was about to bring down upon you, maybe you would have held your fucking tongue. But you couldn't, you didn't, and now you're paying the price, you goddamn idiot. I will shit crayon diarrhea all over you, the likes of which would make even Jackson Pollock jealous, and you will drown in it. You're fucking done, kiddo.
September 2021

WallStreetBets

Navy Seal

HODL

๐ŸŒ‘๐ŸŒ‘๐ŸŒ‘๐ŸŒ‘๐ŸŒ‘๐ŸŒ‘๐ŸŒ‘๐ŸŒ‘๐ŸŒ‘ ๐ŸŒ‘๐ŸŒ‘๐ŸŒ•๐ŸŒ˜๐ŸŒ‘๐ŸŒ’๐ŸŒ•๐ŸŒ‘๐ŸŒ‘ ๐ŸŒ‘๐ŸŒ’๐ŸŒ•๐ŸŒ—๐ŸŒ‘๐ŸŒ“๐ŸŒ•๐ŸŒ‘๐ŸŒ‘ ๐ŸŒ‘๐ŸŒ’๐ŸŒ•๐ŸŒ—๐ŸŒ‘๐ŸŒ“๐ŸŒ•๐ŸŒ˜๐ŸŒ‘ ๐ŸŒ‘๐ŸŒ’๐ŸŒ•๐ŸŒ•๐ŸŒ•๐ŸŒ•๐ŸŒ•๐ŸŒ˜๐ŸŒ‘ ๐ŸŒ‘๐ŸŒ’๐ŸŒ•๐ŸŒ–๐ŸŒ•๐ŸŒ”๐ŸŒ•๐ŸŒ˜๐ŸŒ‘ ๐ŸŒ‘๐ŸŒ’๐ŸŒ•๐ŸŒ—๐ŸŒ‘๐ŸŒ“๐ŸŒ•๐ŸŒ˜๐ŸŒ‘ ๐ŸŒ‘๐ŸŒ’๐ŸŒ•๐ŸŒ˜๐ŸŒ‘๐ŸŒ“๐ŸŒ•๐ŸŒ˜๐ŸŒ‘ ๐ŸŒ‘๐ŸŒ‘๐ŸŒ‘๐ŸŒ‘๐ŸŒ‘๐ŸŒ‘๐ŸŒ‘๐ŸŒ‘๐ŸŒ‘ ๐ŸŒ‘๐ŸŒ‘๐ŸŒ‘๐ŸŒ‘๐ŸŒ‘๐ŸŒ‘๐ŸŒ‘๐ŸŒ‘๐ŸŒ‘ ๐ŸŒ‘๐ŸŒ‘๐ŸŒ‘๐ŸŒ”๐ŸŒ•๐ŸŒ–๐ŸŒ‘๐ŸŒ‘๐ŸŒ‘ ๐ŸŒ‘๐ŸŒ‘๐ŸŒ”๐ŸŒ•๐ŸŒ•๐ŸŒ•๐ŸŒ•๐ŸŒ‘๐ŸŒ‘ ๐ŸŒ‘๐ŸŒ’๐ŸŒ•๐ŸŒ—๐ŸŒ‘๐ŸŒ’๐ŸŒ•๐ŸŒ—๐ŸŒ‘ ๐ŸŒ‘๐ŸŒ“๐ŸŒ•๐ŸŒ˜๐ŸŒ‘๐ŸŒ‘๐ŸŒ•๐ŸŒ—๐ŸŒ‘ ๐ŸŒ‘๐ŸŒ“๐ŸŒ•๐ŸŒ˜๐ŸŒ‘๐ŸŒ’๐ŸŒ•๐ŸŒ—๐ŸŒ‘ ๐ŸŒ‘๐ŸŒ’๐ŸŒ•๐ŸŒ–๐ŸŒ‘๐ŸŒ“๐ŸŒ•๐ŸŒ˜๐ŸŒ‘ ๐ŸŒ‘๐ŸŒ‘๐ŸŒ“๐ŸŒ•๐ŸŒ•๐ŸŒ•๐ŸŒ–๐ŸŒ‘๐ŸŒ‘ ๐ŸŒ‘๐ŸŒ‘๐ŸŒ‘๐ŸŒ‘๐ŸŒ‘๐ŸŒ‘๐ŸŒ‘๐ŸŒ‘๐ŸŒ‘ ๐ŸŒ‘๐ŸŒ‘๐ŸŒ‘๐ŸŒ‘๐ŸŒ‘๐ŸŒ‘๐ŸŒ‘๐ŸŒ‘๐ŸŒ‘ ๐ŸŒ‘๐ŸŒ‘๐ŸŒ•๐ŸŒ•๐ŸŒ•๐ŸŒ‘๐ŸŒ‘๐ŸŒ‘๐ŸŒ‘ ๐ŸŒ‘๐ŸŒ‘๐ŸŒ•๐ŸŒ•๐ŸŒ•๐ŸŒ•๐ŸŒ—๐ŸŒ‘๐ŸŒ‘ ๐ŸŒ‘๐ŸŒ‘๐ŸŒ•๐ŸŒ–๐ŸŒ‘๐ŸŒ“๐ŸŒ•๐ŸŒ˜๐ŸŒ‘ ๐ŸŒ‘๐ŸŒ‘๐ŸŒ•๐ŸŒ–๐ŸŒ‘๐ŸŒ“๐ŸŒ•๐ŸŒ˜๐ŸŒ‘ ๐ŸŒ‘๐ŸŒ‘๐ŸŒ•๐ŸŒ–๐ŸŒ‘๐ŸŒ“๐ŸŒ•๐ŸŒ˜๐ŸŒ‘ ๐ŸŒ‘๐ŸŒ‘๐ŸŒ•๐ŸŒ—๐ŸŒ‘๐ŸŒ•๐ŸŒ•๐ŸŒ‘๐ŸŒ‘ ๐ŸŒ‘๐ŸŒ‘๐ŸŒ•๐ŸŒ•๐ŸŒ•๐ŸŒ•๐ŸŒ˜๐ŸŒ‘๐ŸŒ‘ ๐ŸŒ‘๐ŸŒ‘๐ŸŒ‘๐ŸŒ‘๐ŸŒ‘๐ŸŒ‘๐ŸŒ‘๐ŸŒ‘๐ŸŒ‘ ๐ŸŒ‘๐ŸŒ‘๐ŸŒ‘๐ŸŒ‘๐ŸŒ‘๐ŸŒ‘๐ŸŒ‘๐ŸŒ‘๐ŸŒ‘ ๐ŸŒ‘๐ŸŒ‘๐ŸŒ’๐ŸŒ•๐ŸŒ‘๐ŸŒ‘๐ŸŒ‘๐ŸŒ‘๐ŸŒ‘ ๐ŸŒ‘๐ŸŒ‘๐ŸŒ“๐ŸŒ•๐ŸŒ˜๐ŸŒ‘๐ŸŒ‘๐ŸŒ‘๐ŸŒ‘ ๐ŸŒ‘๐ŸŒ‘๐ŸŒ“๐ŸŒ•๐ŸŒ˜๐ŸŒ‘๐ŸŒ‘๐ŸŒ‘๐ŸŒ‘ ๐ŸŒ‘๐ŸŒ‘๐ŸŒ“๐ŸŒ•๐ŸŒ‘๐ŸŒ‘๐ŸŒ‘๐ŸŒ‘๐ŸŒ‘ ๐ŸŒ‘๐ŸŒ‘๐ŸŒ“๐ŸŒ•๐ŸŒ‘๐ŸŒ‘๐ŸŒ‘๐ŸŒ‘๐ŸŒ‘ ๐ŸŒ‘๐ŸŒ‘๐ŸŒ“๐ŸŒ•๐ŸŒ˜๐ŸŒ‘๐ŸŒ‘๐ŸŒ‘๐ŸŒ‘ ๐ŸŒ‘๐ŸŒ‘๐ŸŒ“๐ŸŒ•๐ŸŒ•๐ŸŒ•๐ŸŒ–๐ŸŒ‘๐ŸŒ‘ ๐ŸŒ‘๐ŸŒ‘๐ŸŒ‘๐ŸŒ‘๐ŸŒ‘๐ŸŒ‘๐ŸŒ‘๐ŸŒ‘๐ŸŒ‘
February 2021

WallStreetBets

MSFT Infinite Money Glitch ๐Ÿš€๐Ÿš€๐Ÿš€

Disclaimer: I am not a financial or investment advisor. Before this subreddit was ruined by ten million people, solid DD used to get done. Do you ever find yourself reminiscing about the good โ€˜ol WSB days? Well, your prayers have been answered. Degenerates gather around, as I am bringing you a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity to make some serious $MSFT tendies ๐Ÿš€ Today, Bill Gates announced that after twenty-seven years of marriage, he will be divorcing. Do you know what this means? Bill is single and ready to mingle. Step 1: Use Wifeโ€™s Tinder Account Step 2: Match with Bill Gates Step 3: Wife goes on date with Bill, they fall in love, he proposes, no pre-nup Step 4: Wife marries Bill and becomes $MSFT royalty Step 5: Continue to date wife Step 6: Cash out ๐Ÿš€๐Ÿš€๐Ÿš€ For those too retarded to read: https://preview.redd.it/tts3psz5q0x61.jpg?width=1125&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=5f68092ae47d414627c6dee8a0c4afd6808bcc57 Congratulations. You are now your own wifeโ€™s boyfriend.
May 2021

WallStreetBets

Classic

Text-to-Speech Playing