Gonna be checking the market every chance I get while pretending to think my brother-in-law's Cards Against Humanity answers are funny.
Daily WSB trader routine
1. Wake up
2. Check memfolio, buy more PLTR calls
3. Shit while looking at charts, donβt wipe
4. Fomo and buy the top
5. Watch stock Plummet
6. Sell, watch stock go up
7. Go to WSB and downvote everything
8. Jerk off, nut, realize how empty you are
9. Stare at futures for 3 hours
10. Sleep & repeat
1. Wake up
2. Check memfolio, buy more PLTR calls
3. Shit while looking at charts, donβt wipe
4. Fomo and buy the top
5. Watch stock Plummet
6. Sell, watch stock go up
7. Go to WSB and downvote everything
8. Jerk off, nut, realize how empty you are
9. Stare at futures for 3 hours
10. Sleep & repeat
Cathie Wood owns 100% of palantir and 110% of Tesla
December 2021. Cathie Wood owns 100% of palantir and 110% of Tesla (Elon Musk invented a more efficient form of security). ARK ETFs are trading at minimum $1,000 a share and investors are signing 10-year pledges just for the privilege. I log on to my Tesla taxi app and order a car. A vintage Roadster pulls up with EDM playing at a tasteful volume.
"Where to, King?" asks the anime girl on the console. "You know where", I reply. Palantir knows.
We both laugh and the car takes off to Wendys.
December 2021. Cathie Wood owns 100% of palantir and 110% of Tesla (Elon Musk invented a more efficient form of security). ARK ETFs are trading at minimum $1,000 a share and investors are signing 10-year pledges just for the privilege. I log on to my Tesla taxi app and order a car. A vintage Roadster pulls up with EDM playing at a tasteful volume.
"Where to, King?" asks the anime girl on the console. "You know where", I reply. Palantir knows.
We both laugh and the car takes off to Wendys.
Is that insider trading?
If you're a passenger on a newly recertified 737MAX and it starts to nosedive into the sea so you buy shitloads of BA puts over WiFi before impact, is that insider trading?
If you're a passenger on a newly recertified 737MAX and it starts to nosedive into the sea so you buy shitloads of BA puts over WiFi before impact, is that insider trading?
WSB Choose your fighter
Choose your fighter
Alex Magikarp π
Elon TechnoCuckLord π€+π€΄
Jeff Divorcedzos π
Salmonella π Nutella π«
Bill "HELL Giga GUH is coming" Clownman π€‘
Chamath, "I'm abouta fuck shit up" Papaya π
Ryan Cocken your butthole π₯π¦ πππ³
π₯ Z π₯ U π₯ C π₯ C π₯
Tim π Bottom π ±οΈENIS
Jack Ma MIA π€·ββοΈ
Cathie "A prayer a day keeps the π»s' away" or "Jesus, take my buying power" Woods πβοΈ
Choose your fighter
Alex Magikarp π
Elon TechnoCuckLord π€+π€΄
Jeff Divorcedzos π
Salmonella π Nutella π«
Bill "HELL Giga GUH is coming" Clownman π€‘
Chamath, "I'm abouta fuck shit up" Papaya π
Ryan Cocken your butthole π₯π¦ πππ³
π₯ Z π₯ U π₯ C π₯ C π₯
Tim π Bottom π ±οΈENIS
Jack Ma MIA π€·ββοΈ
Cathie "A prayer a day keeps the π»s' away" or "Jesus, take my buying power" Woods πβοΈ
I used to be a real ad