[Copypasta] If Apple opens super green tomorrow

If Apple opens super green tomorrow, I will buy a green Apple and cut a 1/4in hole in it and fuck it with my peen.
December 2020

WallStreetBets

I used to be a real ad
More WallStreetBets Copypastas

Buying calls on Gamestop

I can't believe that after fifteen years of trading, my best trade of all time is going to be buying calls on fucking Gamestop.
January 2021

WallStreetBets

Mr. Musk I don’t feel so good.

Mr. Musk I don’t feel so good. ༼ つ ◕_ ◕ ༽つ ༼ つ ◕_ ◕ ::;:.::..:. . . . . . . . . . . . ༼ つ ◕_ :;:.::..:. . . . . . . . . . . . . . ༼ つ :;:.::..:::....:.:... . . . . . . . . . ༼ ;::,':;:.::..:::....:.:... . . . . . . . . .
December 2020

WallStreetBets

Careful bulls, dangerous things past the moon

Careful tomorrow bulls, there are dangerous things past the moon. ✨ .-' `'. ✨ / \ . ☀️ ☀️ | ; ✨ | | ___.--, _.._ |0) ~ (0) | _.---'`__.-( (_. ✨ __.--'`_.. '.__.\ '--. \_.-' ,.--'` `""` ( ,.--'` ',__ /./; ;, '.__.'` __ _`) ) .---.__.' / | |\ \__..--"" """--.,_ . ☀️ `---' .'.''-._.-'`_./ /\ '. \ _.-~~~````~~~-._`-.__.' | | .' _.-' | | \ \ '. `~---` ✨ \ \/ .' \ \ '. '-._) ✨ ✨ \/ / \ \ `=.__`~-. jgs / /\ `) ) / / `"".`\ , _.-'.'\ \ / / ( ( / / . ☀️ `--~` ) ) .-'.' '.'. | ( (/` ( (` ) ) '-; ` '-; (-' ✨ ✨ ✨ ☀️ 🚀 <--- BULLS ✨ ☀️ ✨ 🌙 ☀️ ☀️ ☀️ ✨ 🌎 ✨ 🌝 ☀️ ✨ ✨
December 2020

WallStreetBets

I challenge you to “Turtle King”

Before my ban, someone challenged me to a duel with cocks. I challenge you to “Turtle King” instead. We each dock our unhardened cocks into each other, then we put on clips of Yellen speaking during FOMC meetings. The first to effectively go from flaccid to erect and push the other out of the “dock” is crowned Turtle 🤴. Dual me, I’m 4-0.
October 2021

WallStreetBets

Not financial advise

I'm starting to think the people telling me to buy BB at $20 were being serious about not being financial advisors
April 2021

WallStreetBets

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