[Copypasta] If Apple opens super green tomorrow

Stonks only go up. But you don't.

You watch her as she brushes her hair. She’s humming a song you can’t quite hear and smiling to herself. Not for the first time, you wonder why this person chose you. She turns. “What do you want for Christmas?” You want to scream Save your money!, but you only shrug. “Nothing, really.” “Nothing?” She crawls into bed and touches your leg. “Are you sure?” Again, you wonder why this person chose you. As she takes the weight of you in her hand, your mind wanders. To your puts. They’ll expire worthless, like you. After several minutes of failing to conjure your manhood, she asks, “What’s wrong?” Stonks only go up. But you don’t.

December 2020

WallStreetBets

Buying calls on Gamestop

I can't believe that after fifteen years of trading, my best trade of all time is going to be buying calls on fucking Gamestop.

January 2021

WallStreetBets

Man i love bull markets

Man i love bull markets. Tried to type in the ticker for MAXN yesterday to buy some but MAGN came up instead. Didn't know wtf it was but I was too lazy to redo my search so I bought that instead and it started mooning.

December 2020

WallStreetBets

I just smashed my TV because of the SPY

I just smashed my TV in front of 30 guests at my house because of the SPY. My wife just took our crying kids and said they’re all spending the week at a hotel. This sub has ruined my life and my party. I can’t handle this anymore. Goodbye Powell. I am no longer a fan.

March 2022

WallStreetBets

It's called empathy

Sometimes watching porn I like to pretend I'm the "woman" it's called empathy not homosexuality.

April 2021

[Copypasta] If Apple opens super green tomorrow

WallStreetBets

WallStreetBets

Stonks only go up. But you don't.

WallStreetBets

Buying calls on Gamestop

WallStreetBets

Man i love bull markets

WallStreetBets

I just smashed my TV because of the SPY

WallStreetBets

It's called empathy

WallStreetBets

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