[Copypasta] Man i love bull markets

Cathie Wood owns 100% of palantir and 110% of Tesla

December 2021. Cathie Wood owns 100% of palantir and 110% of Tesla (Elon Musk invented a more efficient form of security). ARK ETFs are trading at minimum $1,000 a share and investors are signing 10-year pledges just for the privilege. I log on to my Tesla taxi app and order a car. A vintage Roadster pulls up with EDM playing at a tasteful volume. "Where to, King?" asks the anime girl on the console. "You know where", I reply. Palantir knows. We both laugh and the car takes off to Wendys.

March 2021

WallStreetBets

Bears after a green day

It’s 4:01pm. Bears solemnly log out of their devastated brokerage account, get up from their makeshift desk made up of a stack of empty Michelina’s frozen lasagna dinners, head up the stairs of their father’s basement, grab the keys to their tan ‘97 Chevy Cavalier and a cloth mask embroidered with the word “VOTE,” and drive down the street to the local gay bar for a holiday themed burlesque show.

December 2021

WallStreetBets

What the fuck did you just fucking say about OTM FDs

What the fuck did you just fucking say about OTM FDs, you little bitch? I'll have you know I graduated bottom of my class in the Special Needs Division of the Navy Seals, and I've been bag holding from pump n' dumps on WSB since 2012, AND I have over 300 confirmed margin calls. I am trained in the 'tism and I'm the top retard in the entire United States armed forces. You are nothing to me but just another normie retail investor. I will wipe out my portfolio with precision the likes of which has never been seen before on this Earth, mark my fucking words. You think you can get away with saying that shit about OTM FDs over the Internet? Think again, fuckface. As we speak I am contacting my wife's network of boyfriends across the USA and your IP is being traced right now so you better prepare for the storm, maggot. The storm that wipes out the pathetic little thing you call your portfolio. Your fucking 401k is dead, kid. I can trade anywhere, anytime, and I can lose fat stacks over seven hundred ways, and that's just with TSLA FDs. Not only am I extensively trained in sniffing glue, but I have access to the entire crayon collection of the United States Marine Corps and I will use it to its full extent to wipe your miserable ass boomer stocks off the face of the continent, you little shit. If only you could have known what unholy retribution your little "clever" comment was about to bring down upon you, maybe you would have held your fucking tongue. But you couldn't, you didn't, and now you're paying the price, you goddamn idiot. I will shit crayon diarrhea all over you, the likes of which would make even Jackson Pollock jealous, and you will drown in it. You're fucking done, kiddo.

September 2021

WallStreetBets

Navy Seal

Google employees complaints

Reading Google employees complaints about workplace is like watching Becky cry on social media how her life's ruined when she only got a new Hyundai for graduation instead of the audi she asked. Bitch give me that 300k job and I will deal with "my voice not being heard" all day every day.

January 2021

WallStreetBets

HODL

🌑🌑🌑🌑🌑🌑🌑🌑🌑 🌑🌑🌕🌘🌑🌒🌕🌑🌑 🌑🌒🌕🌗🌑🌓🌕🌑🌑 🌑🌒🌕🌗🌑🌓🌕🌘🌑 🌑🌒🌕🌕🌕🌕🌕🌘🌑 🌑🌒🌕🌖🌕🌔🌕🌘🌑 🌑🌒🌕🌗🌑🌓🌕🌘🌑 🌑🌒🌕🌘🌑🌓🌕🌘🌑 🌑🌑🌑🌑🌑🌑🌑🌑🌑 🌑🌑🌑🌑🌑🌑🌑🌑🌑 🌑🌑🌑🌔🌕🌖🌑🌑🌑 🌑🌑🌔🌕🌕🌕🌕🌑🌑 🌑🌒🌕🌗🌑🌒🌕🌗🌑 🌑🌓🌕🌘🌑🌑🌕🌗🌑 🌑🌓🌕🌘🌑🌒🌕🌗🌑 🌑🌒🌕🌖🌑🌓🌕🌘🌑 🌑🌑🌓🌕🌕🌕🌖🌑🌑 🌑🌑🌑🌑🌑🌑🌑🌑🌑 🌑🌑🌑🌑🌑🌑🌑🌑🌑 🌑🌑🌕🌕🌕🌑🌑🌑🌑 🌑🌑🌕🌕🌕🌕🌗🌑🌑 🌑🌑🌕🌖🌑🌓🌕🌘🌑 🌑🌑🌕🌖🌑🌓🌕🌘🌑 🌑🌑🌕🌖🌑🌓🌕🌘🌑 🌑🌑🌕🌗🌑🌕🌕🌑🌑 🌑🌑🌕🌕🌕🌕🌘🌑🌑 🌑🌑🌑🌑🌑🌑🌑🌑🌑 🌑🌑🌑🌑🌑🌑🌑🌑🌑 🌑🌑🌒🌕🌑🌑🌑🌑🌑 🌑🌑🌓🌕🌘🌑🌑🌑🌑 🌑🌑🌓🌕🌘🌑🌑🌑🌑 🌑🌑🌓🌕🌑🌑🌑🌑🌑 🌑🌑🌓🌕🌑🌑🌑🌑🌑 🌑🌑🌓🌕🌘🌑🌑🌑🌑 🌑🌑🌓🌕🌕🌕🌖🌑🌑 🌑🌑🌑🌑🌑🌑🌑🌑🌑

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February 2021

[Copypasta] Man i love bull markets

WallStreetBets

WallStreetBets

Cathie Wood owns 100% of palantir and 110% of Tesla

WallStreetBets

Bears after a green day

WallStreetBets

What the fuck did you just fucking say about OTM FDs

WallStreetBets

Navy Seal

Google employees complaints

WallStreetBets

HODL

WallStreetBets

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