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[Copypasta]Man i love bull markets
Man i love bull markets. Tried to type in the ticker for MAXN yesterday to buy some but MAGN came up instead. Didn't know wtf it was but I was too lazy to redo my search so I bought that instead and it started mooning.
Man i love bull markets. Tried to type in the ticker for MAXN yesterday to buy some but MAGN came up instead. Didn't know wtf it was but I was too lazy to redo my search so I bought that instead and it started mooning.
(βΜΏΔΉΜ―ββ¬β΄β¬β΄ Psst... kid, you wanna disable adblock?
More WallStreetBets Copypastas
Unrealized losses
She runs her hand through your thinning hair and laughs. βWhat?β you ask absentmindedly. Youβre looking at Futures, and youβre surprised to see them red.
βI want you to play with me.β She says it playfully, but the single ounce of you that isnβt totally aloof realizes she said this in earnest. And so you do. You throw your phone, and you pin her to the sofa, then the ground. You both roll about, wrestling, like lion cubs. Kissing, lightly biting. Sometime later, you both stop, breathing hard. She grabs an open bottle of red wine, and you pass it back and forth. Eventually she says, βI want to do that more.β
But youβve already found your phone again to check Futures. Still red. βUh huh,β you say, distracted. She stares at you for a long moment, but you donβt realize it. Silently, she gets up and goes to bed, and you donβt say a word because you donβt notice.
She hasnβt left you yet, but she will soon.
Unrealized losses.
She runs her hand through your thinning hair and laughs. βWhat?β you ask absentmindedly. Youβre looking at Futures, and youβre surprised to see them red.
βI want you to play with me.β She says it playfully, but the single ounce of you that isnβt totally aloof realizes she said this in earnest. And so you do. You throw your phone, and you pin her to the sofa, then the ground. You both roll about, wrestling, like lion cubs. Kissing, lightly biting. Sometime later, you both stop, breathing hard. She grabs an open bottle of red wine, and you pass it back and forth. Eventually she says, βI want to do that more.β
But youβve already found your phone again to check Futures. Still red. βUh huh,β you say, distracted. She stares at you for a long moment, but you donβt realize it. Silently, she gets up and goes to bed, and you donβt say a word because you donβt notice.
She hasnβt left you yet, but she will soon.
Unrealized losses.
I couldnβt tell you what half of the companies in my portfolio do
I couldnβt tell you what half of the companies in my portfolio do or even what the ticker stands for...but you better believe Iβm jacked to the mfβing tits in every single meme stonk that you crayon eaters have been pumping. CHOO CHOO MFβER.
I couldnβt tell you what half of the companies in my portfolio do or even what the ticker stands for...but you better believe Iβm jacked to the mfβing tits in every single meme stonk that you crayon eaters have been pumping. CHOO CHOO MFβER.
NOT. SELLING. GAMESTOP.
π¦ π π¦ π π¦ π π¦ π π¦ π π¦ π
NOT. FUCKING. SELLING.
π π π π π π π π π π π π
NOT PRESSING βSELLβ ON 1. FUCKING. SHARE.
π π€ π π€ π π€ π π€ π π€ π π€
IβLL GO TO $0.00 BEFORE BILLIONAIRES GET ONE MORE PENNY FROM US.
π π π π π π π π π π π π
CANβT STOP. WONβT STOP. GAMESTOP.
π π€ π π€ π π€ π π€ π π€ π π€
TOMORROW, I THINK IβLL BE HOLDING THE LINE. MAYBE MAKE SOME TENDIES, TOO.
π π π π π π π π π π π π
IβLL SEE EVERY ONE OF YOU BEAUTIFUL APES ON PLUTO SOON, AND ITβS GOING TO JUST BE A SEA OF SPARKLING DIAMOND.
π π€ π π€ π π€ π π€ π π€ π π€
I LOVE YOU, ALL, AND IβM NOT SELLING, AND IβM NOT FUCKING LEAVING. NOT ONE. FUCKING. SHARE!!!
π π π π π π π π π π π π
π¦ π π¦ π π¦ π π¦ π π¦ π π¦ π
NOT. FUCKING. SELLING.
π π π π π π π π π π π π
NOT PRESSING βSELLβ ON 1. FUCKING. SHARE.
π π€ π π€ π π€ π π€ π π€ π π€
IβLL GO TO $0.00 BEFORE BILLIONAIRES GET ONE MORE PENNY FROM US.
π π π π π π π π π π π π
CANβT STOP. WONβT STOP. GAMESTOP.
π π€ π π€ π π€ π π€ π π€ π π€
TOMORROW, I THINK IβLL BE HOLDING THE LINE. MAYBE MAKE SOME TENDIES, TOO.
π π π π π π π π π π π π
IβLL SEE EVERY ONE OF YOU BEAUTIFUL APES ON PLUTO SOON, AND ITβS GOING TO JUST BE A SEA OF SPARKLING DIAMOND.
π π€ π π€ π π€ π π€ π π€ π π€
I LOVE YOU, ALL, AND IβM NOT SELLING, AND IβM NOT FUCKING LEAVING. NOT ONE. FUCKING. SHARE!!!
π π π π π π π π π π π π
Oh my gourd, I am financially ruined (agricultural futures)
I have lost everything, and I'm not sure how to continue. This summer I invested $17,500 (six months salary and my entire life savings) into ornamental gourd futures, hoping to capitalize on this lucrative emerging industry. After watching a video about Vincent Kosuga and his monopoly on onions, I decided I'd try to do something similar with another vegetable. I did some research and found out many agricultural forecasters expected this year's gourd yield would be far smaller than the past, due to deteriorating soil conditions in central Mexico and a warmer-than-average spring. At first, demand soared around Halloween and prices skyrocketed, but the gourd bubble burst on November 12th. Unfortunately, the coronavirus caused a massive drop-off in demand due to fewer families decorating their tables for thanksgiving, and prices plummeted. I had invested early enough that I thought I would still be fine, but then on the morning of December 2nd, a new email in my inbox caused my stomach to turn into a pretzel. The massive gourd shipment from Argentina, scheduled for early March, had arrived. I was planning on selling off my futures right before this, in February, but this ruined everything. To top it off, the gourds in this shipment were absolutely gargantuan, some topping 4 pounds each, causing the price-per-pound to drop like an anchor into the range of 6 cents per pound. I am ruined.
I have lost everything, and I'm not sure how to continue. This summer I invested $17,500 (six months salary and my entire life savings) into ornamental gourd futures, hoping to capitalize on this lucrative emerging industry. After watching a video about Vincent Kosuga and his monopoly on onions, I decided I'd try to do something similar with another vegetable. I did some research and found out many agricultural forecasters expected this year's gourd yield would be far smaller than the past, due to deteriorating soil conditions in central Mexico and a warmer-than-average spring. At first, demand soared around Halloween and prices skyrocketed, but the gourd bubble burst on November 12th. Unfortunately, the coronavirus caused a massive drop-off in demand due to fewer families decorating their tables for thanksgiving, and prices plummeted. I had invested early enough that I thought I would still be fine, but then on the morning of December 2nd, a new email in my inbox caused my stomach to turn into a pretzel. The massive gourd shipment from Argentina, scheduled for early March, had arrived. I was planning on selling off my futures right before this, in February, but this ruined everything. To top it off, the gourds in this shipment were absolutely gargantuan, some topping 4 pounds each, causing the price-per-pound to drop like an anchor into the range of 6 cents per pound. I am ruined.
bears are always fucked
Last week I went to go outside for a smoke and this other guy was there smoking as well. We got to talking and the talk of options trading came up. I accidentally slipped that I had bought a SPY put to hedge my portfolio. He immediately gets excited takes off his pants and bends over. Didn't realize he was a ππ» this whole time. Ofcourse I obliged cause bers r always fukkd
Last week I went to go outside for a smoke and this other guy was there smoking as well. We got to talking and the talk of options trading came up. I accidentally slipped that I had bought a SPY put to hedge my portfolio. He immediately gets excited takes off his pants and bends over. Didn't realize he was a ππ» this whole time. Ofcourse I obliged cause bers r always fukkd