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[Copypasta]Man i love bull markets
Man i love bull markets. Tried to type in the ticker for MAXN yesterday to buy some but MAGN came up instead. Didn't know wtf it was but I was too lazy to redo my search so I bought that instead and it started mooning.
Man i love bull markets. Tried to type in the ticker for MAXN yesterday to buy some but MAGN came up instead. Didn't know wtf it was but I was too lazy to redo my search so I bought that instead and it started mooning.
(โฬฟฤนฬฏโโฌโดโฌโด Psst... kid, you wanna disable adblock?
More WallStreetBets Copypastas
Stonks only go up. But you don't.
You watch her as she brushes her hair. Sheโs humming a song you canโt quite hear and smiling to herself. Not for the first time, you wonder why this person chose you.
She turns. โWhat do you want for Christmas?โ You want to scream Save your money!, but you only shrug. โNothing, really.โ
โNothing?โ She crawls into bed and touches your leg. โAre you sure?โ Again, you wonder why this person chose you.
As she takes the weight of you in her hand, your mind wanders. To your puts. Theyโll expire worthless, like you. After several minutes of failing to conjure your manhood, she asks, โWhatโs wrong?โ
Stonks only go up.
But you donโt.
You watch her as she brushes her hair. Sheโs humming a song you canโt quite hear and smiling to herself. Not for the first time, you wonder why this person chose you.
She turns. โWhat do you want for Christmas?โ You want to scream Save your money!, but you only shrug. โNothing, really.โ
โNothing?โ She crawls into bed and touches your leg. โAre you sure?โ Again, you wonder why this person chose you.
As she takes the weight of you in her hand, your mind wanders. To your puts. Theyโll expire worthless, like you. After several minutes of failing to conjure your manhood, she asks, โWhatโs wrong?โ
Stonks only go up.
But you donโt.
I saw JPOW at the grocery store
I saw JPOW at the grocery store. I was buying a dozen eggs last night and the store was kind of slow since it was after dark. Some old boomer was in front of me and chatting away with the woman at the cash register. Everyone had masks on, but as soon as he spoke I recognized the voice. He was telling the lady how inflation is a good thing. She said how come inflation keeps going up but minimum wage never rises? He ignored her and pulls out a large sheet of $1 bills. He asks if she had scissors but she said no.
He looked back at me and saw the eggs and said "You workout huh? Its good to stay healthy. I used to workout by lifting bales of hay after school in 1952. Eggs are a good source of energy, mind if I take one? " I shrugged and told him.go ahead. He opened my pack of eggs, takes one out, lowers his mask, just throws the whole thing in his mouth shell and all, puts his mask back up, and begins chewing loudly. As he's chewing he's crookedly folding and ripping a sheet of dollar bills handing them to the lady individually. While he's chewing he tells me it's a great time to buy bonds. I tell him I'm good.
The store was short on change so he just pays the full dollar amount. He hands me a crooked bill that is almost ripped in half and says "thanks pal, in the future that single egg will be worth a dollar so we will call it even"
Im heading to my car after and I see him and another boomer arguing. There was JPOW and he's arguing with a man built like a gnome wearing a poorly fit collared shirt. The little man spoke and I instantly knew it was Cramer. Cramer wanted JPOW to hurry up and stop hogging the best parking spot. JPOW tells Cramer that hes got his mask on inside out and upside down. They both start talking about inflation and then look deep into each other's eyes and start making out with their masks on.
It was a pretty weird.
I saw JPOW at the grocery store. I was buying a dozen eggs last night and the store was kind of slow since it was after dark. Some old boomer was in front of me and chatting away with the woman at the cash register. Everyone had masks on, but as soon as he spoke I recognized the voice. He was telling the lady how inflation is a good thing. She said how come inflation keeps going up but minimum wage never rises? He ignored her and pulls out a large sheet of $1 bills. He asks if she had scissors but she said no.
He looked back at me and saw the eggs and said "You workout huh? Its good to stay healthy. I used to workout by lifting bales of hay after school in 1952. Eggs are a good source of energy, mind if I take one? " I shrugged and told him.go ahead. He opened my pack of eggs, takes one out, lowers his mask, just throws the whole thing in his mouth shell and all, puts his mask back up, and begins chewing loudly. As he's chewing he's crookedly folding and ripping a sheet of dollar bills handing them to the lady individually. While he's chewing he tells me it's a great time to buy bonds. I tell him I'm good.
The store was short on change so he just pays the full dollar amount. He hands me a crooked bill that is almost ripped in half and says "thanks pal, in the future that single egg will be worth a dollar so we will call it even"
Im heading to my car after and I see him and another boomer arguing. There was JPOW and he's arguing with a man built like a gnome wearing a poorly fit collared shirt. The little man spoke and I instantly knew it was Cramer. Cramer wanted JPOW to hurry up and stop hogging the best parking spot. JPOW tells Cramer that hes got his mask on inside out and upside down. They both start talking about inflation and then look deep into each other's eyes and start making out with their masks on.
It was a pretty weird.
Tesla is undervalued
Currently Tesla share price is only valued for the next 200 years but studies have shown that Earth will survive another 1 billions years before the Sun dies out. Thus You don't have to be genius to figure out Tesla is heavily undervalued and it's current value factors in only the very short time. I am kinda retarded to be able to do the math but trust me it's heavy money.
Factor in the when Zuckenberg calls in his species and that planet will be another market for Tesla that's more clients for Tesla and it will sky rocket. Get in before it's late
Currently Tesla share price is only valued for the next 200 years but studies have shown that Earth will survive another 1 billions years before the Sun dies out. Thus You don't have to be genius to figure out Tesla is heavily undervalued and it's current value factors in only the very short time. I am kinda retarded to be able to do the math but trust me it's heavy money.
Factor in the when Zuckenberg calls in his species and that planet will be another market for Tesla that's more clients for Tesla and it will sky rocket. Get in before it's late
Bullish market makes me hard
When the stocks ๐๐ go up ๐๐ธ, my dick goes too ๐โฌ๏ธ๐ณ. Bullish ๐ market ๐ฌ makes me hard ๐ฆด๐ฆ. All the countries ๐ณ๏ธ๐ด๐ดโโ ๏ธ๐๐ฉ๐ณ๏ธโ๐๐ณ๏ธโโง๏ธ๐บ๐ณ try to recover ๐ from corona ๐ฆ so the money ๐ฐ๐ต๐ธ flows ๐ฌ into my pocket ๐ณ. Soon ๐ there will be a crash ๐๐ญ๐ฅบ๐ and the bears ๐ป will crawl ๐ผ out of their holes ๐ณ. Then they cut off my greedy dick โ๏ธ๐๐ฉธ if I donโt โ eat โem out ๐ ๐ธ. I must turn into a bear ๐โก๏ธ๐ป and make ๐ค๐ผ more money ๐ฐ๐ต๐ธ and eat some honey ๐ป๐ฏ. When Iโm done โ Iโll throw a party ๐๐ท๐พ and eat your ass ๐ ๐.
When the stocks ๐๐ go up ๐๐ธ, my dick goes too ๐โฌ๏ธ๐ณ. Bullish ๐ market ๐ฌ makes me hard ๐ฆด๐ฆ. All the countries ๐ณ๏ธ๐ด๐ดโโ ๏ธ๐๐ฉ๐ณ๏ธโ๐๐ณ๏ธโโง๏ธ๐บ๐ณ try to recover ๐ from corona ๐ฆ so the money ๐ฐ๐ต๐ธ flows ๐ฌ into my pocket ๐ณ. Soon ๐ there will be a crash ๐๐ญ๐ฅบ๐ and the bears ๐ป will crawl ๐ผ out of their holes ๐ณ. Then they cut off my greedy dick โ๏ธ๐๐ฉธ if I donโt โ eat โem out ๐ ๐ธ. I must turn into a bear ๐โก๏ธ๐ป and make ๐ค๐ผ more money ๐ฐ๐ต๐ธ and eat some honey ๐ป๐ฏ. When Iโm done โ Iโll throw a party ๐๐ท๐พ and eat your ass ๐ ๐.
Robinhood halts trading on President's Day
This is bullshit. Iโm disgusted and Iโm honestly on the verge of having a mental fucking breakdown. Robinhood has once again halted trading. But this time itโs halted on all stocks. This fine Monday morning I wake up to find that all orders arenโt going to be filled till tomorrow morning. My dadโs wifeโs girlfriend is a powerful lawyer in Boca Raton and Iโm seriously considering retaining her services and filing a class action lawsuit against these citadel dick munchers. This has happened to me too many times. Iโm low key spiraling into madness. Donate to me on onlyfans if you want to contribute towards the legal fees. Sheโs giving me a pretty kickass discount, but she estimates itโs still going to cost $150k. This happens to be the amount I lost on gme, but this is not relevant to the conversation here. Itโs time to rise up and take down robinhood once and for all.
Also, yeah my stepmom has a girlfriend. Itโs 2021 you bigots.
This is bullshit. Iโm disgusted and Iโm honestly on the verge of having a mental fucking breakdown. Robinhood has once again halted trading. But this time itโs halted on all stocks. This fine Monday morning I wake up to find that all orders arenโt going to be filled till tomorrow morning. My dadโs wifeโs girlfriend is a powerful lawyer in Boca Raton and Iโm seriously considering retaining her services and filing a class action lawsuit against these citadel dick munchers. This has happened to me too many times. Iโm low key spiraling into madness. Donate to me on onlyfans if you want to contribute towards the legal fees. Sheโs giving me a pretty kickass discount, but she estimates itโs still going to cost $150k. This happens to be the amount I lost on gme, but this is not relevant to the conversation here. Itโs time to rise up and take down robinhood once and for all.
Also, yeah my stepmom has a girlfriend. Itโs 2021 you bigots.