Did you ever hear the tragedy of Darth JPOW The Wise? I thought not. Itβs not a story the Motley Fool would tell you. Itβs a π³οΈβππ» legend. Darth JPOW was a Dark Lord of the FED, so gay and such a bear he could use his money printer to influence the economy to create inflationβ¦ He had such a knowledge of the economy that he could even keep stonk prices from falling. The dark side of the economy is a pathway to many abilities some consider to beβ¦ transitory. He became so powerfulβ¦ the only thing he was afraid of was losing his tendies, which eventually, of course, he did. Unfortunately, he taught Nancy Pelosi everything he knew, then she sold at the top. Ironic. He could save others from market corrections, but not himself.
What happened to this ad? :(
More WallStreetBets Copypastas
What the fuck did you just fucking say about OTM FDs
What the fuck did you just fucking say about OTM FDs, you little bitch? I'll have you know I graduated bottom of my class in the Special Needs Division of the Navy Seals, and I've been bag holding from pump n' dumps on WSB since 2012, AND I have over 300 confirmed margin calls. I am trained in the 'tism and I'm the top retard in the entire United States armed forces. You are nothing to me but just another normie retail investor. I will wipe out my portfolio with precision the likes of which has never been seen before on this Earth, mark my fucking words. You think you can get away with saying that shit about OTM FDs over the Internet? Think again, fuckface. As we speak I am contacting my wife's network of boyfriends across the USA and your IP is being traced right now so you better prepare for the storm, maggot. The storm that wipes out the pathetic little thing you call your portfolio. Your fucking 401k is dead, kid. I can trade anywhere, anytime, and I can lose fat stacks over seven hundred ways, and that's just with TSLA FDs. Not only am I extensively trained in sniffing glue, but I have access to the entire crayon collection of the United States Marine Corps and I will use it to its full extent to wipe your miserable ass boomer stocks off the face of the continent, you little shit. If only you could have known what unholy retribution your little "clever" comment was about to bring down upon you, maybe you would have held your fucking tongue. But you couldn't, you didn't, and now you're paying the price, you goddamn idiot. I will shit crayon diarrhea all over you, the likes of which would make even Jackson Pollock jealous, and you will drown in it. You're fucking done, kiddo.
WallStreetBets
Navy Seal
Little dribble drop
You guys ever like hustle your pee too quickly and pull your dick in faster than youβre done shaking? Then you have that little dribble drop that goes onto your leg. Itβs only a drop. But you fucking feel it. Sprawling down your thigh. Making its presence known and ruining whatever plans you just had.
Just happened. The fucking worst.
WallStreetBets
Genetics is the future
I keep putting more money into ARKG and making more money and I'm starting to actually fall in love with the genetics revolution. I hope one day they invent some sort of super sperm cocktail so I can shoot thicc rope with giant big brain sperm like tadpoles that come out and shoot 16 feet at 90mph. Then I can train my fatheaded genius kids how to buy calls. It could also offer a self-defense solution in a pinch as you rapid fire tadpoles at any incoming attackers.
Genetics is the future.
WallStreetBets
Bullish market makes me hard
When the stocks ππ go up ππΈ, my dick goes too πβ¬οΈπ³. Bullish π market π¬ makes me hard π¦΄π¦. All the countries π³οΈπ΄π΄ββ οΈππ©π³οΈβππ³οΈββ§οΈπΊπ³ try to recover π from corona π¦ so the money π°π΅πΈ flows π¬ into my pocket π³. Soon π there will be a crash πππ₯Ίπ and the bears π» will crawl πΌ out of their holes π³. Then they cut off my greedy dick βοΈππ©Έ if I donβt β eat βem out π
πΈ. I must turn into a bear πβ‘οΈπ» and make π€πΌ more money π°π΅πΈ and eat some honey π»π―. When Iβm done β
Iβll throw a party ππ·πΎ and eat your ass π
π.
Emoji Pasta
WallStreetBets
Ape rocket
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