[Copypasta] I love Carl from Brawl Stars

Guys, I’m literally detecting seismic activity. I never wanted to rock with anyone more than I want to with Carl. That perfect, chiseled body. Those bountiful hills. The majestic mountains of a literal god. It honestly fucking hurts knowing that I'll never rock with him, pass my sediment through him, and have him birth a set of perfect hot springs. I'd do fricking ANYTHING for the chance to get Carl’s rocks off. A N Y T H I N G. And the fact that I can't is quite honestly too much to fricking bear. Why would Supercell create something so perfect? To fricking tantalize us? Fricking laugh in our faces?! Honestly guys, I just fricking can't anymore. Frick.
December 2020
What happened to this ad? :(
More Copypastas

We blizzard care much about the player experience

twitchquotes: We blizzard care much about the player experience. For this reason, we're changing the card Ultimate Infestation as follows: Deal 5 damage, gain 5 armor, summon 3 JADE GOLEMS, Add 5 Jade Idol to your hand. I'm Ben Brode, hope you still like my raps!
twitch chat
September 2017

Hearthstone

Every game is equally pointless

twitchquotes: Every game is equally pointless. You can't put this *** on a resume or anything, so what does it matter if you play online chess or LoL? Unless you're a professional and making mad cash off the game, it doesn't matter what you play.
twitch chat
August 2014
Kripp

New agent idea: Hog rider

New agent idea: Hog rider As maney of you know, over the past few years of playeing this game almost everyone wants riot to add hog rider into valrant. I know the devlapers dont wana add Hog rider into valrant becuse hes got a Hammer and likes rideing on pigs which is OP IN reaal life. However, i Spent a lot of my time the past few minute to think of a way to make him Not op in valrant like Rana(Which hackers like to use). Here is my idea: Hog rider design: https://preview.redd.it/oemu1mzky2g61.jpg?width=1143&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=d580b7c34983f32f178f65b9a86310db6bfde9cc This is what hog rider would look like in valrant Abilitys: C (cost 238$ dolars) - Jumpeing ability. When you press this abilty, You can jump Q(cost 192.82$ dollrars) - Hammer abilty. Press this abilty and you turn your Gun into a hamer. The hammer is like the knife except when You swinging the hamer at someone it looks Dangareous. E (main abilitey. recharge every few Minutes)- Battle cry. When you press the E buton, your Micraphone is broadcast on the whole map so evrayone can hear you talkeing. Then your alowed to make batle cry noise like clash clans hog rider. X (ultra abilty cost 4 ulltra orb)s - When you press ultra abilaity, all of Your team gets to ride hogs. This is good because The hog your rideing on gets friends and your team mates get hog rider. For example: Cifer and Brimestone can be rideing hogs when hog rider use the ultra Pasive abilty: hog
February 2021

Valorant

I'm actually a pretty advanced bait station designer

I'm actually a pretty advanced bait station designer. While my formal education is a bit lacking, my cad and computer animation skills are really good, and I have some truly paradigm shifting ideas for bait stations, both vr and non vr. currently in the beginning stages of seeking VC funds, really trying to move my operation from San Antonio to Austin, a second location could triple my revenue right now. Obviously right now all our orders are high end custom stations, way out of reach for the avg wsb user. Its my dream to one day be able to produce real bait stations in a production environment. Right now my company is in talks with several engineering firms out of Seoul to take our cum recycling system and some how use the energy from the spent cum to recharge the batteries. While the technology is new. It has huge applications. Imagine when you go to charge your tsla, its powered completely by cum. No longer must we let our nonbiological female prostitutes flush our GOLD down the toilet post coitus, that shit is going to drive our new society. The money we save as a society on sock costs alone is tremendous.
December 2020

WallStreetBets

Ok chat, I'm not seeing nearly enough spam in here

twitchquotes: Ok chat, I'm not seeing nearly enough spam in here, I mean I thought this was supposed to be "the worst chat in twitch" and this is all you got!? The KPM in this chat is WAY too low, it is actually depressing. How am I supposed to enjoy chat without dongers, "FrankerZ's", and the occasional elephant?
twitch chat
November 2014
imaqtpie
Text-to-Speech Playing