[Copypasta] I love Carl from Brawl Stars

Guys, I’m literally detecting seismic activity. I never wanted to rock with anyone more than I want to with Carl. That perfect, chiseled body. Those bountiful hills. The majestic mountains of a literal god. It honestly fucking hurts knowing that I'll never rock with him, pass my sediment through him, and have him birth a set of perfect hot springs. I'd do fricking ANYTHING for the chance to get Carl’s rocks off. A N Y T H I N G. And the fact that I can't is quite honestly too much to fricking bear. Why would Supercell create something so perfect? To fricking tantalize us? Fricking laugh in our faces?! Honestly guys, I just fricking can't anymore. Frick.
December 2020
Carl is a character from the game Brawl Stars
(β–€ΜΏΔΉΜ―β”œβ”¬β”΄β”¬β”΄ Psst... kid, you wanna disable adblock?
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I thought Jerma dreams were BS... until the other night

I thought Jerma dreams were BS... until the other night. I know I know. Another "I had a dream about Jerma" post. I've been thinking about whether or not to post this for the last 3 days, since everyone and their grandmas are doing these posts. But whatever. Three nights ago I dreamt that I was watching a jerma stream and he did something so utterly hilarious that I bursted out laughing so hard that I actually woke up from it. I looked for my phone to write down what he was doing (because it was 2 am and I needed to go back to sleep) but I couldn't find it for the life of me. Then in the corner of my eye a webcam appeared and it was Jerma laughing his ass off saying "chat he can't find it" and "he doesn't know pepeface". I was still dreaming lmao. I saw chat and it was just a wall of OMEGALULs. The whole situation was hilarious so then I woke up for real this time. Unfortunately because of the nature of the dream I can't remember what he was doing originally that was so funny. I think he was choking on a piece of bread or something.
March 2022
Jerma985

Twin Towers

β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–Œβ–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘ β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–„β–„β–„β–„β–„β–„β–„β–‘β–‘β–„β–„β–„β–Œβ–„β–„β–Œβ–‘ β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–β–“β–“β–Œβ–’β–’β–Œβ–‘β–‘β–β–“β–“β–Œβ–’β–’β–Œβ–‘ β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–β–“β–“β–Œβ–’β–’β–Œβ–‘β–‘β–β–“β–“β–Œβ–’β–’β–Œβ–‘ β–‘β–’β–’β–’β–‘β–‘β–β–“β–“β–Œβ–’β–’β–Œβ–‘β–‘β–β–“β–“β–Œβ–’β–’β–Œβ–‘ β–‘β–’β–’β–’β–‘β–‘β–β–“β–“β–Œβ–’β–β–Œβ–‘β–β–β–“β–“β–Œβ–’β–’β–Œβ–‘ β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–β–“β–“β–Œβ–’β–β–Œβ–‘β–β–β–“β–“β–Œβ–’β–’β–Œβ–‘ β–„β–„β–„β–„β–„β–‘β–β–“β–“β–Œβ–’β–“β–Œβ–‘β–β–“β–“β–“β–Œβ–„β–„β–Œβ–‘ β–’β–’β–Œβ–’β–„β–„β–“β–“β–“β–Œβ–β–“β–Œβ–„β–β–“β–“β–“β–’β–’β–Œβ–’β–Œ β–“β–“β–Œβ–’β–’β–Œβ–“β–ˆβ–“β–’β–β–“β–Œβ–Œβ–Œβ–“β–“β–“β–“β–’β–Œβ–’β–Œ β–“β–“β–Œβ–’β–’β–Œβ–“β–ˆβ–ˆβ–β–’β–Œβ–β–Œβ–„β–“β–ˆβ–ˆβ–“β–’β–“β–’β–Œ β–“β–“β–Œβ–’β–’β–β–ˆβ–ˆβ–“β–β–’β–Œβ–β–Œβ–β–“β–ˆβ–ˆβ–“β–„β–“β–„β–„ β–“β–“β–Œβ–β–„β–“β–“β–ˆβ–“β–β–’β–Œβ–β–ˆβ–ˆβ–€β–“β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆ
ascii art
April 2018

I hate Reddit's new avatars

They look so incomprehensibly fucking STUPID. WHO CAME UP WITH THEM? I liked the old avatars, they were simple and friendly. Now every time, EVERY. SINGLE. FUCKING. TIME. I look at someone's username, I see this ugly little shit, an abomination. Makes me almost fucking VOMIT. THEY LOOK SO DAMN STUPID I'M FUCKING TIRED OF KT. IT LOOKS LIKE AN ALIEN HAD SEX WITH A COCKROACH, THEN WORE SOME UGLY SHIRT AND PANTS. THE REDDIT CREATURE DUDES ARENT SUPPOSED TO BE WEARING THIS STUPID ABOMINABLD SHIT. I HATE it. I want to BURN IT WITH FIRE. Sadly you can't burn JPGs. BUT EVERY TIME I SEE ONE IT MAKES ME WANT TO CRY AT FUCKING SPEZ
September 2021

Reddit

i am currently trapped in 800 SR bronze

twitchquotes: moon i am currently trapped in 800 SR bronze my mains are Torbjorn and Bastion (I'm a huge defensive player, you know, a good defense is a gooder offense) but my team refuses to play around me and sometime even report me. Why elo hell is real??? How do you overcome adversity and become top 500? Thanks you for your time :)
twitch chat
July 2017
MOONMOON

Overwatch

Give the Kitty 200 kissy wissy's on his little tum tum

twitchquotes: Dear Kripp, this is Kenneth J. Nipplemeyer IV, sole heir to the Nipplemeyer fortune. I am willing to give you the entirety of my family's $26 Billion Fortune if you give the Kitty 200 kissy wissy's on his little tum tum on stream. Must be done enthusiastically and at 60fps or no deal. Sincerely. Kenneth aka "the Nippster"
twitch chat
November 2014
Kripp
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