[Copypasta] I love Carl from Brawl Stars

Guys, I’m literally detecting seismic activity. I never wanted to rock with anyone more than I want to with Carl. That perfect, chiseled body. Those bountiful hills. The majestic mountains of a literal god. It honestly fucking hurts knowing that I'll never rock with him, pass my sediment through him, and have him birth a set of perfect hot springs. I'd do fricking ANYTHING for the chance to get Carl’s rocks off. A N Y T H I N G. And the fact that I can't is quite honestly too much to fricking bear. Why would Supercell create something so perfect? To fricking tantalize us? Fricking laugh in our faces?! Honestly guys, I just fricking can't anymore. Frick.
December 2020
(▀̿Ĺ̯├┬┴┬┴ Psst... kid, you wanna disable adblock?
More Copypastas

if you go to walmart at 3 AM naked, and scream "AMONG US SUS"

if you go to walmart at 3 AM naked, and scream "AMONG US SUS" 69 times, these mysterious figures known as "The Police" will knock you out, and you'll end up in a cell with a man nicknamed "BIG JOHN". pretty scary, right?
June 2021

Among Us / Amogus

OwO trend is the worst thing

twitchquotes: I've been posting copypastas since before 2016, and I can say without a doubt that this "OwO" trend is by far the worst thing to ever happen to copypasta. I can recite the Navy Seals speech by heart, and yet you think you know better than me. Phrases like "penis-kun" have bastardized the medium and have no place in what used to be a noble hobby. If I see one more OwO I'm going to have no choice but to report you.
twitch chat
February 2019

Weebs

Navy Seal

wake up this is all a dream

twitchquotes: wake up thijs PepeHands this is all a dream, but we don't have enough money to keep you living through your coma PepeHands we tried everything, if you don't wake up in a week we'll have to unplug you. PepeHands we love you PepeHands
twitch chat
June 2019
Thijs

NAXXRAMAS expansion has been UNRELEASED

twitchquotes: ATTENTION: The NAXXRAMAS expansion has been UNRELEASED in order to make room for the Gnomes Vs. Goblins expansion. We apologize for any dongers raised by this message.
twitch chat
November 2014
Trump

it will look like a copy pasta

twitchquotes: i bet if i just type out a paragraph plat chat will copy pasta it. literally there is nothing funny or interesting about this text but it is pretty long so it will look like a copy pasta.
twitch chat
March 2018
Text-to-Speech Playing