Guys, I’m literally detecting seismic activity. I never wanted to rock with anyone more than I want to with Carl. That perfect, chiseled body. Those bountiful hills. The majestic mountains of a literal god. It honestly fucking hurts knowing that I'll never rock with him, pass my sediment through him, and have him birth a set of perfect hot springs. I'd do fricking ANYTHING for the chance to get Carl’s rocks off. A N Y T H I N G. And the fact that I can't is quite honestly too much to fricking bear. Why would Supercell create something so perfect? To fricking tantalize us? Fricking laugh in our faces?! Honestly guys, I just fricking can't anymore. Frick.
What happened to this ad? :(
More Copypastas
I'm not a fan of any team in particular
twitchquotes:
I'm not a fan of any team in particular. I'm just a fan of whoever plays the best League of Legends and right now that just happens to be Rush from Echo Fox. Show some respect.
twitch chat
League of Legends
I'VE GOT THE STREAM IN MY SIGHTS
twitchquotes:
༼ຈل͜ຈ༽ﾉ·︻̷┻̿═━一I'VE GOT THE STREAM IN MY SIGHTS
twitch chat
strifecro
I hate when people refer to orange juice as OJ
I hate when people refer to orange juice as OJ.
Why OJ? Do you want to sound cool? Is it so much of a hustle to say orange juice? Do you abbreviate apple juice too? " Hey yeah, let me have some AJ?" - said by no one ever. I just think it sound annoying af.
Edit: I don't have any issues with abbreviations, except for OJ as orange juice. Sorry if I offended some of you with sensitive feelings.
Too salty for table salt
twitchquotes:
Kripp, when you have dinner with Reynad, do you even need table salt?
twitch chat
Kripp
I fell asleep masturbating with the curtains open and porn playing
I thought it would be nice to nut before i slept and before my sleeping pill kicked in and my room was dark so I figured why close the blinds.
I was lubing up my cock with silicone lube, felt really good and got my cock really hard and was enjoying what I was watching.
Next thing I realized, I wake up at 11am, dick in hand with lube, lube spilled all over my body and sheets and porn still playing and the neighbors can clearly see what happened.
I live in an apartment area, and at the first floor so everybody next door saw everything. The neighbor right in front of me was having lunch and raised his glass to say cheers to me and smiled.
Advice: cover all your bases before jerking off, and don't jerk under the influence.