[Copypasta] I love Carl from Brawl Stars

Guys, I’m literally detecting seismic activity. I never wanted to rock with anyone more than I want to with Carl. That perfect, chiseled body. Those bountiful hills. The majestic mountains of a literal god. It honestly fucking hurts knowing that I'll never rock with him, pass my sediment through him, and have him birth a set of perfect hot springs. I'd do fricking ANYTHING for the chance to get Carl’s rocks off. A N Y T H I N G. And the fact that I can't is quite honestly too much to fricking bear. Why would Supercell create something so perfect? To fricking tantalize us? Fricking laugh in our faces?! Honestly guys, I just fricking can't anymore. Frick.
December 2020
I used to be a real ad
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Kirby with gun

β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β–„β–„β–ˆβ–€β–€β–€β–€β–€β–€β–€β–„β–„β”€ β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β–„β–ˆβ–€β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–€β–€ β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β–„β–ˆβ–€β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘ ────────────▄▀░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░ β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β–„β–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–„β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–„β–‘β–‘ β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–€β–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–€β–ˆβ–‘ β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β–„β”€β”€β”€β–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–ˆβ”€β–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–ˆβ”€β–ˆβ–‘ β”€β–„β–ˆβ–€β–ˆβ–ˆβ–€β–„β–„β–€β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–ˆβ”€β–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–ˆβ”€β–ˆβ–‘ β–€β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–€β–ˆβ–€β–„β–„β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–‘ β–’β–’β–„β–„β–„β–’β–’β–ˆβ–“β–“β–€β–€β–ˆβ–„β–‘β–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–‘ β–’β–„β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–„β–’β–ˆβ–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–€β–ˆβ–„β–‘β–ˆβ–“β–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–“β–ˆβ–‘ β–’β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–’β–ˆβ–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–€β–ˆβ–ˆβ–“β–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–“β–ˆβ–‘ β–’β–€β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–€β–’β–ˆβ–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–ˆβ–€β–ˆβ–€β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–€β–ˆβ–€β–‘ β–„β–’β–€β–€β–€β–’β–ˆβ–„β–„β–„β–„β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘ β–€β–„β–’β–’β–’β–’β–„β–€β–€β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–„β–„β–„β–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘ β–ˆβ–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–ˆβ–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–€β–€β–€β–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘ β–ˆβ–’β–’β–’β–’β–ˆβ–€β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–ˆβ–‘β–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–‘β–‘ β–ˆβ–’β–€β–€β–’β–ˆβ–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–„β–€β–‘β–ˆβ–ˆβ–„β–„β–‘β–‘β–„β–„β–ˆβ–ˆβ–‘β–‘ β–ˆβ–’β–’β–’β–’β–ˆβ–“β–“β–“β–ˆβ–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–ˆβ–„β–‘β–‘β–€β–€β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–€β–€β–‘β–‘β–‘ β”€β–ˆβ–„β–„β–ˆβ–ˆβ–„β–„β–„β–€β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–ˆβ–€β–„β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘ β”€β”€β”€β–ˆβ–€β–„β–“β–“β–„β–„β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘ β”€β”€β”€β–ˆβ–‘β–ˆβ–“β–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–„β–“β–“β–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘ β”€β”€β”€β–ˆβ–‘β–ˆβ–“β–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–“β–“β–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–„β–€β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘ β”€β”€β”€β–€β–„β–ˆβ–“β–ˆβ–„β–€β–€β–ˆβ–“β–“β–ˆβ–‘β–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘ β”€β”€β”€β–„β–„β–ˆβ–“β–“β–€β–€β–€β–„β–„β–€β–ˆβ–„β–€β–„β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘ β”€β–„β–€β–’β–’β–’β–ˆβ–€β–€β–€β–€β–‘β–„β–€β–ˆβ–ˆβ–‘β–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘ β–„β–€β–’β–’β–’β–’β–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–„β–€β–€β–ˆβ–€β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘
October 2018

Spam this until you're banned

twitchquotes: gachiGASM SPAM gachiGASM THIS gachiGASM UNTIL gachiGASM YOU'RE gachiGASM BANNED gachiGASM
twitch chat
April 2017

MODS

Joseph Kony's message to Kripp

twitchquotes: Hello Kripp, I am famous child soldier militia commander Joseph Kony. I want to help you make your own child soldier militia too so we can fight the white man as one. I hope you make the right decision and remember, dongerino dongerino please no copi pasterino banerino Al Pacino cappuccino orange moccha frappuccino steal your kiderino.
twitch chat
March 2014
Kripp

Kripp's salt

β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–„β–„β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–„β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’ β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–„β–„β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–„β–’β–’β–’ β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–„β–„β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–’β–’ β–’β–’β–’β–„β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–Œβ–ˆβ–β–Œβ–„β–€β–Œβ–β–Œβ–„β–β–Œβ–„β–β–Œβ–ˆβ–€β–€β–ˆβ–ˆβ–’ β–’β–’β–β–€β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–Œβ–„β–€β–Œβ–€β–„β–Œβ–β–Œβ–„β–ˆβ–Œβ–„β–ˆβ–ˆβ–Œβ–€β–€β–ˆβ–ˆβ–Œ β–’β–’β–ˆβ–’β–’β–€β–ˆβ–Œβ–ˆβ–Œβ–Œβ–β–β–Œβ–β–Œβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–Œβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–€β–€β–β–ˆβ–ˆ β–’β–’β–ˆβ–’β–’β–’β–’β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–€β–€β–€β–ˆβ–€β–ˆβ–€β–ˆβ–€β–€β–€β–€β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–Œ β–’β–’β–’β–Œβ–’β–’β–’β–’β–ˆβ–ˆβ–Œβ–€β–ˆβ–Œβ–€β–β–Œβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–Œβ–β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–€β–’ β–’β–’β–’β–€β–„β–“β–“β–“β–’β–ˆβ–€β–€β–β–β–ˆβ–Œβ–Œβ–€β–ˆβ–Œβ–β–ˆβ–ˆβ–€β–€β–’β–’β–’ β–’β–’β–’β–’β–€β–‘β–“β–“β–’β–β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–€β–€β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’ β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–‘β–‘β–’β–’β–β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–€β–€β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’ β–’β–’β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–€β–€β–€β–€β–€β–€β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’ β–’β–’β–’β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’
November 2014
Kripp

Please don't copy paste or I might get fired

twitchquotes: Hey guys, Im a blizzard employee and I wanted to give all you fellow kripparians a sneak peak at one of our new GvG cards. It's called the coin- 0 mana and if you play it turn 1 as the first player, it randomly selects a player and they automatically win. Hope you are all excited for the new expansion, please don't copy paste or I might get fired.
twitch chat
November 2014
TidesOfTime
Text-to-Speech Playing