[Copypasta] I love Carl from Brawl Stars

Guys, I’m literally detecting seismic activity. I never wanted to rock with anyone more than I want to with Carl. That perfect, chiseled body. Those bountiful hills. The majestic mountains of a literal god. It honestly fucking hurts knowing that I'll never rock with him, pass my sediment through him, and have him birth a set of perfect hot springs. I'd do fricking ANYTHING for the chance to get Carl’s rocks off. A N Y T H I N G. And the fact that I can't is quite honestly too much to fricking bear. Why would Supercell create something so perfect? To fricking tantalize us? Fricking laugh in our faces?! Honestly guys, I just fricking can't anymore. Frick.
December 2020
I used to be a real ad
More Copypastas

Tomato Town Police Report

The residents of Tomato Town need your help identifying two suspects who were about to get down while involved in an event on Monday evening. Ten people were eliminated, and the two suspects, one injured, left the scene headed Southbound and were later spotted at a local park. The two suspects were armed with golden scar ARs and were “hitting that chug jug” as several witnesses stated. Please alert local Tomato Town authorities with any information regarding the duo.
March 2021

Fortnite

Ben Shapiro Kung Fu Fighting

Let's say for a minute, that hypothetically, everyone was in fact kung fu fighting. Now statistically speaking of course, this is impossible. Now hypothetically if they were, hypothetically of course. Now, would they all be performing the same so called Kung Fu move? Statistically speaking that is highly unlikely. This would also, hypothetically, be quite dangerous if it were to actually occur. Coming from a medical official, my wife, who is a doctor, she says that hypothetically, this would be dangerous. So, logically, this would not happen. So in fact, there is no way, impossible even, that everybody was Kung Fu Fighting.
December 2020

Ben Shapiro

LCS, aka "Literally Cannot Sidelane"

twitchquotes: LCS, aka "Literally Cannot Sidelane", is Riot's premier Wildcard region held in the saltiest continent and denoted as such, NA. It is ridiculed for its poor international performance and macro, favouring the "NARAM" style.
twitch chat
February 2020
LCS

League of Legends

FORSEN TAKE THE WHEEL

twitchquotes: (◉◡◔)ノ✇ FORSEN TAKE THE WHEEL (◉◡◔)ノ✇, ✇ノ(◔◡◉) ןǝǝɥʍ ǝɥʇ ʞooʇ uǝsɹoɟ ✇ノ(◔◡◉)\
twitch chat
March 2016
Forsen

Reynad's large forehead

twitchquotes: when is google gonna buy ad space on reynads forehead??
twitch chat
March 2014
Reynad
Text-to-Speech Playing