Guys, I’m literally detecting seismic activity. I never wanted to rock with anyone more than I want to with Carl. That perfect, chiseled body. Those bountiful hills. The majestic mountains of a literal god. It honestly fucking hurts knowing that I'll never rock with him, pass my sediment through him, and have him birth a set of perfect hot springs. I'd do fricking ANYTHING for the chance to get Carl’s rocks off. A N Y T H I N G. And the fact that I can't is quite honestly too much to fricking bear. Why would Supercell create something so perfect? To fricking tantalize us? Fricking laugh in our faces?! Honestly guys, I just fricking can't anymore. Frick.
What happened to this ad? :(
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Hi Kripp this is Battlemaster's wife Housewifemaster
twitchquotes:
Hi Kripp this is Battlemaster's wife Housewifemaster, i've noticed that my husband is never home to play with the Childrenmasters and they are really missing their Fathermaster. Could you choose my dear Husbandmaster less so that my kids can grow up with an actual Dadmaster? Thank you Kripp, maybe he can take you to Gymmaster so you can put some muscle on that scrawny vegan body.
twitch chat
Kripp
Hearthstone
I sexually Identify as TheLegend27
twitchquotes:
I sexually Identify as TheLegend27. Ever since I was a boy I dreamed of soaring over the armies of my enemies hurling big, hard boulders at disgusting cavalry. People say to me that a person being TheLegend27 is Impossible and I’m *** retarded but I don’t care, I’m beautiful. I’m having a plastic surgeon install Game of War: Fire Age, trebuchets and 90kg stones on my body.
twitch chat
I sexually Identify as
My donger is half my age
twitchquotes:
◕ ͜ ʖ ͡ ͡◕ ɪ ᴍ**ᴛᴜʀʙᴀᴛᴇ ᴡɪᴛʜ ɴɪᴠᴇᴀ ᴄʀᴇᴀᴍ ɴᴏᴡ ᴍʏ ᴅᴏɴɢᴇʀ ɪs ʜᴀʟғ ᴍʏ ᴀɢᴇ ͡◕ ͜ ʖ ͡ ͡◕
twitch chat
Kripp
I hate Among Us
I can't fucking take it. I see an image of a random object posted and then I see it, I fucking see it. "Oh that looks kinda like the among us guy" it started as. That's funny, that's a cool reference. But I kept going, I'd see a fridge that looked like among us, I'd see an animated bag of chips that looked like among us, I'd see a hat that looked like among us. And every time I'd burst into an insane, breath deprived laugh staring at the image as the words AMOGUS ran through my head. It's torment, psychological torture, I am being conditioned to laugh maniacly any time I see an oval on a red object. I can't fucking live like this... I can't I can't I can't I can't I can't! And don't get me fucking started on the words! I'll never hear the word suspicious again without thinking of among us. Someone does something bad and I can't say anything other than "sus." I could watch a man murder everyone I love and all I would be able to say is "red sus" and laugh like a fucking insane person. And the word "among" is ruined. The phrase "among us" is ruined. I can't live anymore. Among us has destroyed my fucking life. I want to eject myself from this plane of existence. MAKE IT STOP!
Among Us / Amogus
Scarra quit dignitas to start a life of crime
twitchquotes:
Hey Michael it's me Scarra. I've made a huge mistake, I quit dignitas to start a life of crime, but I've already been arrested for attacking a rival gang member with a cheeseburger. Please bail me out..
twitch chat
imaqtpie