[Copypasta] I love Carl from Brawl Stars

Guys, I’m literally detecting seismic activity. I never wanted to rock with anyone more than I want to with Carl. That perfect, chiseled body. Those bountiful hills. The majestic mountains of a literal god. It honestly fucking hurts knowing that I'll never rock with him, pass my sediment through him, and have him birth a set of perfect hot springs. I'd do fricking ANYTHING for the chance to get Carl’s rocks off. A N Y T H I N G. And the fact that I can't is quite honestly too much to fricking bear. Why would Supercell create something so perfect? To fricking tantalize us? Fricking laugh in our faces?! Honestly guys, I just fricking can't anymore. Frick.
December 2020
Carl is a character from the game Brawl Stars
(▀̿Ĺ̯├┬┴┬┴ Psst... kid, you wanna disable adblock?
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If you ever need a man to be the kiwi to your pie...

twitchquotes: ʜᴇʏ ɢɪʀʟ, ɪ ʜᴇᴀʀ ʏᴏᴜ ʟɪᴋᴇ ᴍᴇᴍᴇs, sᴏ ʜᴏᴡ ᴀʙᴏᴜᴛ ᴡᴇ ɢᴇᴛ ᴛᴏɢᴇᴛʜᴇʀ ᴀɴᴅ ʀᴀɪsᴇ ᴏᴜʀ ᴅᴏɴɢᴇʀs? ɪ'ᴅ ᴘᴇᴘᴘᴇʀᴏɴɪ ʏᴏᴜʀ ᴘɪᴢᴢᴇʀᴏɴɪ ᴀɴʏ ᴅᴀʏ ᴀɴᴅ ᴅᴏɴ'ᴛ ɢᴇᴛ ᴍᴇ sᴛᴀʀᴛᴇᴅ ᴏɴ ʏᴏᴜʀ ᴅɪɢɴɪᴛASS (ʜᴇʜᴇ). ɪғ ʏᴏᴜ ᴇᴠᴇʀ ɴᴇᴇᴅ ᴀ ᴍᴀɴ ᴛᴏ ʙᴇ ᴛʜᴇ ᴋɪᴡɪ ᴛᴏ ʏᴏᴜʀ ᴘɪᴇ, ᴍᴇ ᴀɴᴅ ᴍʏ ғᴇᴅᴏʀᴀ ᴀʀᴇ ʀᴇᴀᴅʏ ᴀɴᴅ ᴡᴀɪᴛɪɴɢ ᴛᴏ ɢᴇᴛ ᴅᴏᴡɴ ᴛᴏ sᴏᴍᴇ ᴄʀᴜᴢɪɴ' ᴀɴᴅ ʙʀᴜᴢɪɴ' ᴀɴᴅ ɪ'ᴍ ʀᴀʀɪɴɢ ᴛᴏ ғɪʟʟ ʏᴏᴜ ᴡɪᴛʜ ᴍʏ ɢᴏʟᴅᴇɴ ɢʟᴜᴇ. ᴊᴜsᴛ ᴅᴏɴ'ᴛ ɢᴏ ᴛʜʀᴏᴡɪɴɢ ᴍʏ ʙᴀʀᴏɴ, ᴏʀ ɪ'ʟʟ ʟᴇᴀᴠᴇ ɴᴏᴛʜɪɴɢ ʟᴇғᴛ ᴏғ ʏᴏᴜ ʙᴜᴛ ᴄʀᴜᴍʙᴢ
twitch chat
July 2014
imaqtpie

Dear Kripp, I am a salt manufacturer from Chile

twitchquotes: Dear Kripp, I am a salt manufacturer from Chile and I would like to sponsor you and your channel. If this deal goes through you can make a lot of salt from our overflowing salt mines. From what I hear, salt is a hot commodity nowadays. Forever yours, Felipe Gomez
twitch chat
November 2014
Kripp

Navy Seal

What the fuck did you just fucking say about me, you little bitch? I'll have you know I graduated top of my class in the Navy Seals, and I've been involved in numerous secret raids on Al-Quaeda, and I have over 300 confirmed kills. I am trained in gorilla warfare and I'm the top sniper in the entire US armed forces. You are nothing to me but just another target. I will wipe you the fuck out with precision the likes of which has never been seen before on this Earth, mark my fucking words. You think you can get away with saying that shit to me over the Internet? Think again, fucker. As we speak I am contacting my secret network of spies across the USA and your IP is being traced right now so you better prepare for the storm, maggot. The storm that wipes out the pathetic little thing you call your life. You're fucking dead, kid. I can be anywhere, anytime, and I can kill you in over seven hundred ways, and that's just with my bare hands. Not only am I extensively trained in unarmed combat, but I have access to the entire arsenal of the United States Marine Corps and I will use it to its full extent to wipe your miserable ass off the face of the continent, you little shit. If only you could have known what unholy retribution your little "clever" comment was about to bring down upon you, maybe you would have held your fucking tongue. But you couldn't, you didn't, and now you're paying the price, you goddamn idiot. I will shit fury all over you and you will drown in it. You're fucking dead, kiddo.
April 2019

Classic

Navy Seal

peepoClap

⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠋⠁⠀⠉⠙⠛⠿⠛⠉⠀⠀⠀⠉⢻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠋⠀⢀⠔⠒⠒⠒⠒⠀⠠⠔⠚⠉⠉⠁⠀⠙⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⠟⢋⠀⠀⠀⠀⣠⢔⠤⠀⢤⣤⡀⠠⣢⡭⠋⡙⢿⣭⡨⠻⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⠇⢀⠆⠀⠀⠀⣪⣴⣿⠐⢬⠀⣿⡗⣾⣿⡇⠈⠦⢸⣿⠗⢠⠿⠿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⡏⠀⠀⠀⢀⡀⠀⠈⠛⠻⠄⠀⠠⠋⠀⠈⠛⠻⠆⠀⠈⢀⡠⣬⣠⢣⣶⢸ ⣿⡿⠀⠀⠀⣶⡌⣇⣿⢰⠷⠦⠄⣀⣀⣀⣀⣀⣀⣠⣤⠶⠞⡛⠁⣿⣿⣾⣱⢸ ⣿⡇⠀⠀⠀⣬⣽⣿⣿⢸⡜⢿⣷⣶⣶⣶⣯⣽⣦⡲⣾⣿⡇⣿⠀⣌⠿⣿⠏⣼ ⣿⡇⠀⠀⠀⠹⣿⡿⢫⡈⠻⢦⡹⢟⣛⣛⣛⣛⣛⣡⠿⣫⡼⠃⠀⣿⡷⢠⣾⣿ ⣿⡇⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠰⣿⣷⡀⠀⠙⠳⠦⣭⣭⣭⣵⡶⠿⠋⠀⢀⣴⣿⡇⣾⣿⣿ ⣿⢠⣿⣦⣄⣀⠀⠀⢻⣿⣧⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⣀⣤⣶⣿⣿⡟⣰⣿⣿⣿ ⡇⣸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣦⢹⣿⣇⢠⣤⣤⣤⣤⣶⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡇⢹⣿⣿⣿ ⡇⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣎⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠏⣸⣿⣿⣿ ⣧⡘⠿⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠟⢋⣡⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣶⣤⣍⣉⣛⣛⡛⠛⠛⢛⣛⣛⣛⣛⣉⣩⣭⣤⣴⣶⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿
ascii art
September 2020

Peepo

Pepe

What's that?

twitchquotes: "Octavian," weeps a heartbroken Rania, "we need to talk. I'm not happy anymore. Your frail, vegan body no longer satisfies me. I asked you for a child, and all you gave me was this mangy mutt. Well, I've got news for you. I'm pregnant, and I bet you know who the father is. That's right, it's Tanner from Foot Locker. I'm leaving you, Octavian, you've ruined everything. Do you have anything to say for yourself?" Kripp lifts the headphone off his ear and glances in Rania's direction. "What's that?"
twitch chat
May 2019
Kripp
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