[Copypasta] Well you see sir, I watch Starcraft

Today my 12 year old and I walked into Harvard to sign him up for college. The dean rudely asked why a 12 year old was signing up for a prestigious institute. My son proclaimed "Well you see sir, I watch Starcraft". The dean tried to apologize but the police rushed in and dragged him out. My son passed all his classes with 4.0s and graduated magnet koom louder on the first day of college.
December 2020
I used to be a real ad
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John Cena is an Asian person born into a white body

I get a feeling that John Cena is an Asian person born into a white body. He has a lot of discipline, he was the most hardworking WWE wrestler during his time at the WWE, always coming early and putting in the work. He is extremely wise beyond his years. When confronted with a stalker, he gave the guy life lessions. He is extremely patient and show the same restraint an Asian person has. I don't know if he read a lot of Art of War or Eastern philosophy when he was younger. He learning Chinese and playing piano shows me that he is very discipline and very eager about self improving. He is a millionaire and is famous, but yet, he still wants to improve. Interestingly enough, he didn't marry some hot female despite Nikki Bella expecting a proposal. He started dating and actually married Shay Shariatzadeh not long after meeting her. John Cena wanted a smart girl, and Shay had a career and wasn't just hot. So there are many examples that John Cena surprise me as a person. Not many white people can legit speak Mandarin for that long after learning it for a short period of time. His pronunciation isn't the best, but he has ways with his words and his mind is sharp. No wonder he is so successful.
June 2021

Vapogender

twitchquotes: VapeNation Vapogender: A gender that sort of feels like smoke. One can see it and understand it on a shallow level but if one tried to go deeper it disappears, and one is left with no gender and only tiny wisps of the gender one thought it was. VapeNation
twitch chat
June 2016
Sneaky

VapeNation

I(21M) am convinced that my(20F) wife's pet rabbit thinks my wife is his mate, it is ruining our marriage

It all started when I was dating my wife. I met her four years ago and we have been dating all 4 years. She has had the rabbit since before I met her. The little bastard is old and saggy and partially blind. Some parts of his body is missing patches of fur because he pulls it out to make a nest for himself and my wife. When we met the rabbit was not a major issue. It would scratch and bite at me but my wife assured me he was just nervous to have another person in her apartment as my wife and the rabbit lived alone since my wife was 18. We have been married one year now and the rabbit is wreaking havoc on our marriage but my wife refuses to do anything because to her the rabbit is her baby and she loves it more than anything. When I first moved in the rabbit did not do much to me or us other than the previously mentioned bites and scratches but he shows my wife too much affection for just a owner. We will be doing anything and she will have the rabbit with her on top of her chest on her breasts licking them and her face. She will not put it down at all whenever she is home with it. We eat dinner, he is there, she goes to the bathroom, he comes with, she is showering? He waits outside for her, watching her nude in the shower. Wife does not even let me in the bathroom with her. It has gone to the point where whenever I show my wife affection the rabbit seeks revenge on me. Sometimes not immediately but at times he does attack me on the spot when I kiss my wife. Sometimes I find little tiny brown balls, his shit in my closet. Another thing is that she lets the little shit roam free all day but nighttime and when we are making love. This was not previously the case but after an accident during lovemaking and much long conversations I convinced my wife to put the rabbit in its cage when we are making love. But now whenever I am making love to my wife, like clockwork, the little shit knows what we are doing and screams at the top of its lungs until my wife abandons what she is doing, even nude and comes to the smug little shits rescue. He is doing this out of pure spite. I am aware that rabbits only scream when very stressed or in danger but he is in his huge cage because my wife spoils him only during night and when we make love, I swear he is doing this to ruin our marriage. He thinks my wife is his mate and wants to get rid of me. I have scars all over my body from bites and scratches and my life refuses to do anything about the rabbit or how much time she spends with it. We are in couples therapy and our marriage is very rocky. What do I do?
May 2022

Twin Towers

โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–Œโ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘ โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–‘โ–‘โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–Œโ–„โ–„โ–Œโ–‘ โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–โ–“โ–“โ–Œโ–’โ–’โ–Œโ–‘โ–‘โ–โ–“โ–“โ–Œโ–’โ–’โ–Œโ–‘ โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–โ–“โ–“โ–Œโ–’โ–’โ–Œโ–‘โ–‘โ–โ–“โ–“โ–Œโ–’โ–’โ–Œโ–‘ โ–‘โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–‘โ–‘โ–โ–“โ–“โ–Œโ–’โ–’โ–Œโ–‘โ–‘โ–โ–“โ–“โ–Œโ–’โ–’โ–Œโ–‘ โ–‘โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–‘โ–‘โ–โ–“โ–“โ–Œโ–’โ–โ–Œโ–‘โ–โ–โ–“โ–“โ–Œโ–’โ–’โ–Œโ–‘ โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–โ–“โ–“โ–Œโ–’โ–โ–Œโ–‘โ–โ–โ–“โ–“โ–Œโ–’โ–’โ–Œโ–‘ โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–‘โ–โ–“โ–“โ–Œโ–’โ–“โ–Œโ–‘โ–โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–Œโ–„โ–„โ–Œโ–‘ โ–’โ–’โ–Œโ–’โ–„โ–„โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–Œโ–โ–“โ–Œโ–„โ–โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–’โ–’โ–Œโ–’โ–Œ โ–“โ–“โ–Œโ–’โ–’โ–Œโ–“โ–ˆโ–“โ–’โ–โ–“โ–Œโ–Œโ–Œโ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–’โ–Œโ–’โ–Œ โ–“โ–“โ–Œโ–’โ–’โ–Œโ–“โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–โ–’โ–Œโ–โ–Œโ–„โ–“โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–“โ–’โ–“โ–’โ–Œ โ–“โ–“โ–Œโ–’โ–’โ–โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–“โ–โ–’โ–Œโ–โ–Œโ–โ–“โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–“โ–„โ–“โ–„โ–„ โ–“โ–“โ–Œโ–โ–„โ–“โ–“โ–ˆโ–“โ–โ–’โ–Œโ–โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–€โ–“โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆ
April 2018

Suicide test!

twitchquotes: Suicide test! If the arms touch your name kill yourself. โŽ FeelsBadMan โŽ 
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May 2016
Forsen

Chat Test

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