Today my 12 year old and I walked into Harvard to sign him up for college. The dean rudely asked why a 12 year old was signing up for a prestigious institute. My son proclaimed "Well you see sir, I watch Starcraft". The dean tried to apologize but the police rushed in and dragged him out. My son passed all his classes with 4.0s and graduated magnet koom louder on the first day of college.
(โฬฟฤนฬฏโโฌโดโฌโด Psst... kid, you wanna disable adblock?
More Copypastas
I spend all day working my ass off at the pasta factory
twitchquotes:
I spend all day working my ass off at the pasta factory trying to provide pasta to hard-working people all across the world. After a long day of work, I come to Kripp's chat to unwind and have thought-driven discussions about my favorite game and favorite streamer. When I get here, however, all I see is pasta after pasta. All I want to do is escape my miserable life, but you fucks keep spamming.
twitch chat
Classic
I hate Twitch Chat
Show us THE decks
twitchquotes:
Enough with the bullshit Kripp. We all know you've hid away the best decks for this expansion to be showing off to the ladies, and we in chat find that really weird. All we want is to watch you win, and yet you play some bullshit hunter for some bullshit reason and all you do is lose. Show us the decks Kripp. Show us THE decks.
twitch chat
Kripp
Hearthstone
I'm already Tracer
twitchquotes:
โ Maybe Iโll be Tracer ๐๐จ๐ฐ๏ธ โ Iโm already Tracer ๐ณ๏ธโ๐๐ฉโโค๏ธโ๐โ๐ฉ โ What about Widowmaker ๐๐ท๏ธ โ Iโm already Widowmaker ๐ธ๏ธ ๐๐ฟ๐ฏIโll be Bastion ๐ค ๐ซ NออEออ RฬทอFอ ออ BASอฬขTฬงอขIOฬขNอาา โฐ๏ธ ๐คท Youโre right; so, Winston ๐ต๐๐ฟ ๐ I wanna be Winston ๐ฆ ๐ก๏ธ I guess Iโll be Genji ๐ฑโ๐ค ๐ Iโm already Genji ๐ค ๐ Then Iโll be McCree ๐ค ๐ ๐ซ I already chose McCree ๐โ ๏ธ โ I have an idea ๐ โ Whatโs your idea? 
๐ You should beโ ๐๐ฆถ ๐
Iโm not gonna be Mercy โผ๏ธโจ
๐ You should beโ ๐๐ฆถ ๐
Iโm not gonna be Mercy โผ๏ธโจ
twitch chat
Emoji Pasta
Overwatch
I've been unvaccinated for 9 months now
I've been unvaccinated for 9 months now, moving from place to place, keeping ahead of the vaxmaxers, never staying anywhere too long, never letting my face become known. "It's great being vaxmaxed isn't it" the shopkeep says vacantly, to nobody in particular. In keeping with the act I reply to the Heinz Baked Beans Substitute 6 Pack (No Plastic) in my hand, something unrelated, with what I hope is a slightly bemused tone. It takes a lot longer to do my shopping these days, I can't simply march through the shop in an orderly fashion, taking what I need in a single trip, I have to absent mindedly shuffle back and forward between the aisles, never really displaying any intent. As unpresent as they are, the vaxmaxed would notice if I was too focused, too alert. A loud smashing sound in the distance almost blows my cover, I notice, and focus on the sound. The vaxmaxed around me slowly aim their distant gaze on me, but I'm able to save myself, I continue my neck jerk and turn it in to a series of spasms, I drop to the floor convulsing, the vaxmaxed around me quickly lose interest and continue on with their day. "That means it's working" one elderly lady comments to her milk as she passes. I continue the charade long enough to filter out most of the vaxmaxed sharing the aisle. It takes a while, and no insubstantial amount of sweat on my part, but I make it to the checkout. A morbidly obese woman directs the horde at the tills, seemingly oblivious to the cacophony of aberrant scan noises and blinking red lights above the entirely self service super checkout. I wait dutifully, not wanting to be noticed, not wanting to be set upon by the Asda Security Vax Checker team, it had taken all my best bluffing to get past them at the door, I almost chuckled when they believed my vax card was in the post but it was quickly stifled, a chuckled would have given me away, a chuckle would have seen me held down and injected with science juice.
COVID
Coronavirus
TES, also known as Throw E-Sports
TES, also known as Throw E-Sports is a professional league of legends team known for throwing consistently at the highest level. Well known for losing despite having massive gold leads, they have inspired various teams around the world like G2 to do the same