[Copypasta] Well you see sir, I watch Starcraft

Today my 12 year old and I walked into Harvard to sign him up for college. The dean rudely asked why a 12 year old was signing up for a prestigious institute. My son proclaimed "Well you see sir, I watch Starcraft". The dean tried to apologize but the police rushed in and dragged him out. My son passed all his classes with 4.0s and graduated magnet koom louder on the first day of college.
December 2020
What happened to this ad? :(
More Copypastas

A review for the videogame "Among Us"

This game has ruined my fucking life. I'm going to end it and take you all with me because I can't bear to look at anything anymore. Any shape I see is distorted into amogus, any time I hear the word suspicious, sus, task, vent, report, ANYTHING, human pattern recognition turns it into amogus. I close my eyes and i see amogus, i see jerma985 grinning as the gates of my soul are opened by amogus and I can feel the festering sclunge of words and shapes pour in, filling all that I am with the ringing noise of amogus
April 2021

Among Us / Amogus

There are two types of chatters

twitchquotes: Let's get a few things straight. There are two types of chatters: Me and you. I write the "copypasta" and YOU copy and pasta them in chat. This is how it's always worked, we've got it down to a science. Ultimately it's your decision, but there is no room for indecision. So, make a choice NOW otherwise you can kiss this whole chat experience goodbye.
twitch chat
August 2015
Kripp

Ben Shapiro goes to the movie theatre

let's say, hypothetically, that i went to the movie theater, and the movie i was watching happened to be three hours long. for the sake of the argument, i am about halfway through watching the movie, and i have to go to the bathroom. based on what's happening on screen, i can determine that an important scene is coming up, and that i need to see it if i want to understand the plot. what's stopping me from pissing in the drink cup they gave me for my dr. pepper? if i can do it quietly enough, no one is going to be able to notice what i'm doing, and, in my honest opinion, pissing in the drink cup is a much better alternative to using the bathroom, since i would've missed an important plot point had i chosen to do so. lastly, no one would have to clean it up afterwards, since it's all contained within the drink cup, which is meant to be disposed of after the movie anyways, and, as a result, will not affect the theater staff in any way whatsoever.
December 2020

Ben Shapiro

Kappa is no longer working

twitchquotes: ItsBoshyTime ItsBoshyTime ItsBoshyTime ATTENTION ItsBoshyTime ItsBoshyTime ItsBoshyTime Someone has reported that the kappa emote is no longer working. Please type "Ka ppa" (no spaces) to confirm that it is indeed still working. Kappa
twitch chat
July 2014
Kripp

Troll Face 2

โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘ โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–„โ–„โ–“โ–€โ–€โ–€โ–€โ–€โ–€โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–„โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘ โ–‘โ–‘โ–„โ–„โ–“โ–€โ–€โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–€โ–“โ–„โ–‘ โ–‘โ–โ–“โ–“โ–Œโ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–“โ–Œ โ–‘โ–โ–“โ–’โ–‘โ–‘โ–„โ–’โ–’โ–“โ–„โ–„โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–‘โ–’โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–’โ–’โ–“ โ–‘โ–“โ–“โ–Œโ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–€โ–’โ–’โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“ โ–‘โ–โ–“โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–’โ–’โ–“(โ—)โ–“โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–’โ–“โ–“(โ—)โ–’โ–“ โ–ˆโ–‘โ–€โ–„โ–‘โ–ˆโ–„โ–ˆโ–€โ–„โ–„โ–‘โ–€โ–‘โ–€โ–„โ–„โ–€โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–‘โ–ˆ โ–‘โ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–€โ–„โ–ˆโ–„โ–ˆโ–‘โ–ˆโ–€โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–€โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–‘โ–ˆ โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–‘โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–„โ–ˆโ–„โ–ˆโ–„โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆ โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–€โ–€โ–ˆโ–‘โ–ˆโ–€โ–ˆโ–€โ–ˆโ–€โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–‘โ–ˆ โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–€โ–„โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–€โ–€โ–„โ–ˆโ–„โ–ˆโ–„โ–ˆโ–„โ–€โ–‘โ–ˆ โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–€โ–„โ–„โ–‘โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆ โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–€โ–€โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–€
ascii art
September 2016
More Copypastas
Text-to-Speech Playing