[Copypasta] Well you see sir, I watch Starcraft

Today my 12 year old and I walked into Harvard to sign him up for college. The dean rudely asked why a 12 year old was signing up for a prestigious institute. My son proclaimed "Well you see sir, I watch Starcraft". The dean tried to apologize but the police rushed in and dragged him out. My son passed all his classes with 4.0s and graduated magnet koom louder on the first day of college.
December 2020
What happened to this ad? :(
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Strong cringe feeling overflowing me

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Iโ€™m fucking shaking and crying right now yโ€™all, and people arenโ€™t taking me seriously. This is a DUMB FUCKING HOLIDAY, where people say shit that ISNโ€™T FUCKING REAL for NO REASON. Iโ€™ve cut off 8 family members already for falling for this shriveled up, half-assed ANNUAL CORPORATE FIG LEAF like the NPC SHEEP THEY ARE. Maybe if they listened to REAL COMEDY like Bill Maher or political satire that validates what I already believe in, theyโ€™d be WORTHY OF INTERACTING WITH. BUT NO, I have to scroll through my timeline, seething, wailing and gnashing my teeth as Iโ€™m BOMBARDED BY LOW EFFORT CORNY CAPITALIST PROPOGANDA. THIS IS A SERIOUS DAY. Iโ€™m allowed to be this pressed about ha-ha corny joke day because ITโ€™S SERIOUS FOR ME AND THEREFORE SHOULD BE FOR EVERYONE. My great uncle was tragically flattened while trying to rob a coca-cola vending machine on this date, and PEOPLE ARE STILL MAKING CORNU FUKUNG JOKES. Iโ€™ve had enough
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Kripp and Larry Page, CEO of Google

twitchquotes: Hแด‡สŸสŸแด แด‹ส€ษชแด˜แด˜, Lแด€ส€ส€ส Pแด€ษขแด‡ สœแด‡ส€แด‡, CEO แดา“ GแดแดษขสŸแด‡. Yแดแดœ แด€ส€แด‡ sแด›ส€แด‡แด€แดษชษดษข แด„แดแด˜สส€ษชษขสœแด› แด„แดษดแด›แด‡ษดแด› า“ส€แดแด BสŸษชแดขแดขแด€ส€แด… Eษดแด›แด‡ส€แด›แด€ษชษดแดแด‡ษดแด›โ„ข. PสŸแด‡แด€sแด‡ sแด›แดแด˜ ษชแดแดแด‡แด…ษชแด€แด›แด‡สŸส แดส€ สแดแดœส€ แด„สœแด€ษดษดแด‡สŸ แดกษชสŸสŸ ส€ษชแด˜ ษชษด แด˜แด‡แด˜แด˜แด‡ส€ษชษดแด.
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Obama

โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–„โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–„โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’ โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–€โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–“โ–“โ–„โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’ โ–‘โ–‘โ–โ–ˆโ–Œโ–’โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–€โ–“โ–“โ–Œโ–’โ–’โ–’ โ–‘โ–‘โ–“โ–ˆโ–’โ–’โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–ˆโ–“โ–“โ–’โ–’โ–’ โ–‘โ–‘โ–“โ–ˆโ–’โ–„โ–„โ–“โ–€โ–€โ–‘โ–‘โ–€โ–€โ–€โ–ˆโ–„โ–ˆโ–“โ–’โ–’โ–’ โ–‘โ–ˆโ–€โ–‘โ–’โ–’โ–‘โ–€โ–€โ–‘โ–‘โ–Œโ–’โ–€โ–€โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–Œโ–’ โ–โ–‘โ–‘โ–Œโ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–€โ–“โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–„โ–ˆโ–’โ–Œโ–’ โ–‘โ–Œโ–’โ–‘โ–’โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–“โ–„โ–ˆโ–„โ–Œโ–’โ–’โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–’โ–Œโ–’ โ–‘โ–โ–’โ–ˆโ–’โ–’โ–’โ–‘โ–€โ–€โ–โ–โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–ˆโ–“โ–“โ–’โ–’ โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–€โ–“โ–’โ–’โ–‘โ–’โ–‘โ–„โ–“โ–“โ–„โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–’โ–’โ–’ โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–โ–„โ–’โ–‘โ–’โ–€โ–€โ–€โ–€โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–ˆโ–“โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’ โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–Œโ–€โ–„โ–‘โ–‘โ–€โ–€โ–’โ–’โ–„โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–„โ–’โ–’โ–’ โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–โ–‘โ–’โ–ˆโ–„โ–„โ–„โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–€โ–’โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–€โ–€โ–ˆ โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–„โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–‘โ–’โ–€โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–€โ–‘โ–“โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–Œโ–ˆโ–ˆโ– โ–‘โ–„โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–Œโ–„โ–“โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–„โ–„โ–ˆ
April 2021
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