[Copypasta] Well you see sir, I watch Starcraft

Today my 12 year old and I walked into Harvard to sign him up for college. The dean rudely asked why a 12 year old was signing up for a prestigious institute. My son proclaimed "Well you see sir, I watch Starcraft". The dean tried to apologize but the police rushed in and dragged him out. My son passed all his classes with 4.0s and graduated magnet koom louder on the first day of college.
December 2020
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I miss the old no life Kripp

twitchquotes: I miss the old no life Kripp. It's a shame a game like Hearthstone has turned him from the no life all day "hardcore gamer" to someone with a life and a girlfriends with tons of money. Kripp I will now unsub to you and pray for you that one day you will come back to what you once were and not the $$ making girl kissing gamer with a life, that is all
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November 2014
Kripp

Reynad please give pube-styling tips

twitchquotes: Hey reynad, ever since I listened to your tips my hair has never been better! But now I need pube-styling tips. Do you trim or straighten it? I was thinking an Abe Lincoln look. what do you think?
twitch chat
March 2014
Reynad

Christmas for a wsb trader

As the tree blinks from white to red to green, you look at the void under the tree that previously held presents. Fewer this year than usual, but some. How did you get here? Boredom? In March, you felt trapped with your wife and infant. You needed something to pass the time. Something you could throw yourself into fully. β€œAre you coming to bed?” your wife yells down the stairs. It seemed harmless at first, but as the pandemic drew on, so did your investment. You’ll stop soon, though. β€œSoon!” you reply, and you hear her feet climb the steps. The lights start to blink chaotically. You cringe because you could only afford the junk strands at CVS. Suddenly they haltβ€”the alternation feature brokenβ€”on red. The red fills the room and covers your flesh. You look down at your hands, and they look like they’re bleeding. Like your calls. After a timeβ€”hours?β€”you realize you’re sitting in complete darkness. Your lights have expired, worthless.
December 2020

WallStreetBets

Please do not type in chat unless you are high ELO

twitchquotes: Please do not type in chat unless you are high ELO (silver 2 and above) FailFish Let's have a high quality chat please
twitch chat
May 2017

League of Legends

Obama

β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–„β–ˆβ–ˆβ–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–ˆβ–ˆβ–„β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’ β–‘β–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–€β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–’β–’β–’β–’β–“β–“β–„β–’β–’β–’β–’ β–‘β–‘β–β–ˆβ–Œβ–’β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–’β–’β–’β–€β–“β–“β–Œβ–’β–’β–’ β–‘β–‘β–“β–ˆβ–’β–’β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–’β–’β–’β–’β–ˆβ–“β–“β–’β–’β–’ β–‘β–‘β–“β–ˆβ–’β–„β–„β–“β–€β–€β–‘β–‘β–€β–€β–€β–ˆβ–„β–ˆβ–“β–’β–’β–’ β–‘β–ˆβ–€β–‘β–’β–’β–‘β–€β–€β–‘β–‘β–Œβ–’β–€β–€β–’β–’β–’β–ˆβ–ˆβ–Œβ–’ β–β–‘β–‘β–Œβ–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–€β–“β–’β–’β–’β–’β–„β–ˆβ–’β–Œβ–’ β–‘β–Œβ–’β–‘β–’β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–“β–„β–ˆβ–„β–Œβ–’β–’β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–’β–Œβ–’ β–‘β–β–’β–ˆβ–’β–’β–’β–‘β–€β–€β–β–β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–ˆβ–“β–“β–’β–’ β–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–€β–“β–’β–’β–‘β–’β–‘β–„β–“β–“β–„β–’β–’β–’β–ˆβ–ˆβ–’β–’β–’ β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–β–„β–’β–‘β–’β–€β–€β–€β–€β–’β–’β–’β–ˆβ–“β–’β–’β–’β–’ β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–Œβ–€β–„β–‘β–‘β–€β–€β–’β–’β–„β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–„β–’β–’β–’ β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–β–‘β–’β–ˆβ–„β–„β–„β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–€β–’β–ˆβ–ˆβ–€β–€β–ˆ β–‘β–‘β–‘β–„β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–‘β–’β–€β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–€β–‘β–“β–ˆβ–ˆβ–Œβ–ˆβ–ˆβ– β–‘β–„β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–β–’β–’β–’β–Œβ–„β–“β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–„β–„β–ˆ
ascii art
April 2021
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