[Copypasta] Well you see sir, I watch Starcraft

Today my 12 year old and I walked into Harvard to sign him up for college. The dean rudely asked why a 12 year old was signing up for a prestigious institute. My son proclaimed "Well you see sir, I watch Starcraft". The dean tried to apologize but the police rushed in and dragged him out. My son passed all his classes with 4.0s and graduated magnet koom louder on the first day of college.
December 2020
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Among Us concerned father

Hello everyone, concerned father here. Recently my 7 year old son discovered the video game “Among Us” after playing it on his computer. While i didn’t mind at first, it soon began to affect his character. Within a week, he had been screaming 'sus’ in his sleep. When asked to do his homework, he called me a stupid father and said ‘kicked’. His grades have been dropping heavily since that day and whenever i refuse to give him my credit card for cosmetics he threatens me saying he’ll “eject” me. Yesterday I entered his room to witness him listening to extremely loud rave 'Among Drip’, he put a bunch of pillows in his shirt to make himself look big and now calls himself a “crewmate”. He refuses to go to bible study unless we use “vent” to get there. I don’t know what that is but he refuses to take any form of transportation except that. Please I am so concerned, what do I do?
February 2021

Among Us / Amogus

"Why does chat hate me?" Cybrix wonders

twitchquotes: Pizza. Pizza. The chat's hurtful words haunt Cybrix at night as he sleeps on his bed of bagel bites. "Why does chat hate me?" he wonders. One day he gets on Mumble and finds the chat no longer hates him. Because it turns out even an obese pizzabator is more tolerable than Rick.
twitch chat
October 2014
Kripp

Creepy The Impostor is Sus

⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣠⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣿⣶⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣤⣾⣿⣽⣿⠿⠿⠛⠛⠛⠻⠯⣤⣄⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣠⣿⣿⣿⣿⢿⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⢿⣷⡄⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣸⣿⣿⣅⠾⠃⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢸⣿⡇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢺⣿⣿⢷⣦⣄⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣶⣶⣄⠀⠸⣿⡇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢸⣿⣧⣿⣿⣿⣷⣤⠀⠠⣿⣿⣿⣿⡕⠀⢿⡇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢘⡏⣽⣿⣿⣿⣿⡇⠀⠈⢿⣿⣿⡿⠁⠀⢸⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢸⣿⡟⠻⢿⠟⣹⡇⠀⠀⠈⠻⠟⠃⠀⠀⠈⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⢻⣷⣦⣤⣶⣿⣷⣶⣤⣄⣀⠀⣐⣼⡇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⡆⢻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡟⠙⠑⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠸⣄⢻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡏⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢈⡄⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠁⠀⠦⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣤⣶⢼⠀⡜⣿⣿⡟⣿⣿⣿⣿⡏⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⢀⡀⣴⣶⣞⣿⡟⢸⢠⣿⣿⣿⡟⠜⢿⣿⡿⠀⢀⠉⠢⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⣿⣹⣿⣿⣿⣿⡷⣹⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣄⠀⠀⠀⣠⠂⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
July 2021

Among Us / Amogus

Awkward Look Monkey Puppet

⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⣟⠻⠯⠭⠉⠛⠋⠉⠉⠛⠻⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⡽⠚⠉⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣀⣀⣀⠀⠈⠙⢿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⠏⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣾⣿⣿⣿⣷⣦⡀⠶⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⡏⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡆⢻⣿⣿ ⣿⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣤⣻⣿⣯⣤⣹⣿ ⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠘⢿⣿⡇⠀⣿⢟⣿⡀⠟⢹⣿ ⡄⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢹⣷⣤⣤⣼⣿⣿⡄⢹⣿ ⣷⠀⠀⠀⠶⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢠⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠛⠉⠈⢻ ⣿⣷⣄⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠉⠛⠋⠛⠛⠛⠀⠀⣤⣾ ⣿⣿⣿⣷⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⠉⠉⠉⠉⠛⠁⣰⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣦⣤⣤⣤⣤⣄⣀⣀⣀⣀⣀⣠⣤⣤⣤⣾⣿⣿⣿
January 2022

Tyler can you say geodude

twitchquotes: Hey tyler, can you raise your arms and say "geodude" 3 times. Thanks!
twitch chat
May 2016
Tyler1
Text-to-Speech Playing