Today my 12 year old and I walked into Harvard to sign him up for college. The dean rudely asked why a 12 year old was signing up for a prestigious institute. My son proclaimed "Well you see sir, I watch Starcraft". The dean tried to apologize but the police rushed in and dragged him out. My son passed all his classes with 4.0s and graduated magnet koom louder on the first day of college.
I used to be a real ad
More Copypastas
Is that your knee or you just excited to see me?
twitchquotes:
( Ν‘Β° ΝΚ Ν‘Β°) is that your knee or you just excited to see me? ( Ν‘Β° ΝΚ Ν‘Β°)
twitch chat
Kripp
Navy Seals Copypasta in Yoda Language
You just fucking say about me what the fuck did, you little bitch? Graduated top of my class in the navy seals I have, and involved in numerous secret raids on Al-Qaeda I've been, over 300 confirmed kills and I have. Trained in gorilla warfare and the top sniper in the entire us armed forces I am. Hing to me but just another target you are not. Never been seen before on this earth. Wipe you the fuck out with precision the likes of which has, I will, mark my fucking words. You can get away with saying that shit to me over the internet you think? Again think, fucker. Contacting my secret network of spies across the USA I am, and being traced right now your IP is. So prepare for the storm as we speak, you better ,maggot. Your life the storm that wipes out the pathetic little thing you call. Fucking dead, you are, kid. Anywhere I can be, anytime, and kill you in over seven hundred ways, I can , and with my bare hands ,that's just . Extensively trained in unarmed combat not only am I, access to the entire arsenal of the united states marine corps, I also have, and use it to its full extent to wipe your miserable ass off the face of the continent, I will, you little shit. Known what unholy retribution your little "clever" comment was about to bring down upon you if only you could have. Held your fucking tongue maybe you would have. But you couldn't, you didn't, the price and now you're paying, you goddamn idiot. shit fury all over you, I will and drown in it, you will. Fucking dead, you are kiddo.
Navy Seal
AITA for punching my own son and husband in the face for being NFTphobic?
So I (M 23, black), was walking around my house(2 story) and decided to check how my son (M 14) is doing. I walked into his room(Non binary, Bedroom, 89) and saw him(M 14) screenshotting an nft(red skin, ushanka, lasers from eyes)!!! I (M 24) Immediately (1 year) punched him (m 15) in the face(chipped 2 tooths, minor bruises, broken nose, bleeding from mouth). Unfortunately, my spouse(M 35) came into the room(Bedroom, 90) and called the police(racist)! I punched him(m 35) until his body (White, racist) cracked(i was satisfied, i am bonebreakigender) with an unpleasant sound. Then, two policeman(Racist policeman, M 21, and a policetranswoman F 31) came into my house(2 story) without hesitation(1 year) and locked me(M, 24, black) in a police(racist) car(Ferrari limited edition). Now i(M 24, black) have no one to talk to(prisoners).
So, Reddit. AITA?
Am I The Asshole?
NFTs
AMOUGUS SO SUSSY WUSSY
ΰΆ AMOUGUS SO SUSSY WUSSY shut you fucking mouth its a dead game i cant even say the word sus without a person saying AMOUNGUS i cant even DESCRIBE how my life has changed from this because if i go on the internet SUS FUNNY OOH i swear next time i hear or see it i will shit on your mom
Among Us / Amogus
π HAPPY NEW YEARS SLUTS π
π―hey SlutS! π―π
Now that we got our yearly π FUCK ππΌfrom good ole Saint DICK π
πΎ itβs FINALLY New Years Eve!!!ππΎπ
2οΈβ£0οΈβ£2οΈβ£0οΈβ£ was a LONGG ππ and HARD πβπ»π« year.... we laughedππππΌ We cried π’ππ We coughed π¦π€π€§ we fucked GOODππ» dickπ and π΅π΅BAD π dick, π« BUTT π now letβs ππCelebrate ππ and watch that π¦πBIG π
BALL πππΌ Drop ππ on us! ππ So spread ππ½ those ππ½ legs ππ½ and count down β¬οΈ from π until your man πͺπΎ pops π his CORK πΎπΎ into that thirsty π
thirsty π
hole! π₯°π₯° Send this to 2οΈβ£1οΈβ£ COCK-BEGGING βπ»π WHORES to get BUTTFUCKED ππ± for the next 3οΈβ£6οΈβ£5οΈβ£ days πππ