[Copypasta] Ben Shapiro goes to the movie theatre

let's say, hypothetically, that i went to the movie theater, and the movie i was watching happened to be three hours long. for the sake of the argument, i am about halfway through watching the movie, and i have to go to the bathroom. based on what's happening on screen, i can determine that an important scene is coming up, and that i need to see it if i want to understand the plot. what's stopping me from pissing in the drink cup they gave me for my dr. pepper? if i can do it quietly enough, no one is going to be able to notice what i'm doing, and, in my honest opinion, pissing in the drink cup is a much better alternative to using the bathroom, since i would've missed an important plot point had i chosen to do so. lastly, no one would have to clean it up afterwards, since it's all contained within the drink cup, which is meant to be disposed of after the movie anyways, and, as a result, will not affect the theater staff in any way whatsoever.
December 2020

Ben Shapiro

(β–€ΜΏΔΉΜ―β”œβ”¬β”΄β”¬β”΄ Psst... kid, you wanna disable adblock?
More Ben Shapiro Copypastas

Ben Shapiro asks his mom for Robux

Now, let’s say πŸ—£ hypothetically, you πŸ‘†, my mother πŸ‘ͺ. Were to give 🎁 me, your πŸ‘‰ son πŸ™Žβ€β™‚οΈ, your πŸ‘‰ credit πŸ’Έ card πŸ’³ information πŸ‘ŒπŸΌ. So I πŸ‘₯ could make πŸ›  a purchase πŸ’² of 500 πŸ’― robux πŸ‘ on the Roblox.com/store. Contrary to what my sister πŸ‘±β€β™€οΈ will have you πŸ‘† believe πŸ™…πŸ», I πŸ‘₯ have done βœ… a very β€Ό good πŸ‘Œ job πŸ™†β€β™‚οΈπŸ€΅ of doing my chores 🧼, including πŸ“², but πŸ‘ not limited πŸ”’ to; The dishes πŸ˜³πŸ½πŸ‘ˆπŸΌ, the laundry and the taking πŸ‘Š out the trash β›ΉοΈβ€β™€οΈπŸ‘ΆπŸ—‘.
December 2020

Ben Shapiro

Ben Shapiro asks a girl out to prom

Ok, so l-let's say, hypothetically, for the sake of the argument, that, perhaps, I, Ben, was to ask you, Stacy, to the prom, right now. Now let me ask you, in that situation, would it not be in your best interest to say yes? I mean the answer is obvious, right? Now let's suppose, that in fact, I was doing so right now, in this room. Now, hypothetically, what would your response be?
January 2021

Ben Shapiro

Ben Shapiro counts to one million

So today, for the first time, my little toddler finally counted to ten. Everyone was celebrating, saying how proud they are in my kid, and then Ben Shapiro kicks open the door. "Oh you think it's impressive that they can count to ten? I can count to one million." and then proceeded, in my living room for the next two weeks, to count to one million. He then said "yep, another libtard destroyed" and then curbstomped my kid.
December 2020

Ben Shapiro

A young Ben Shapiro insults his classmate

Let's say, hypothetically, your mom was wearing a yellow raincoat. Now, also in this scenario, there is a man needing to get home. When he sees your mom, he will yell "taxi, taxi!". Now, why does he do this? The answer is actually quite simple. Your mom is so fat she is the size of a taxi, and the yellow raincoat she is theoretically wearing is the same color as a taxi. Therefore, the man mistakes her for a taxi. So, what has this hypothetical scenario shown us? It has shown us that your mom is very, very, fat. Boom! Once again destroyed with facts and logic.
December 2020

Ben Shapiro

Obi Wan Shapiro

Okay, so let’s say hypothetically, these weren’t the droids you’re looking for. You see, the droids you’re looking for have the Death Star plans, correct? However, as those droid are close minded liberals, and these droids are free thinking informed conservatives, these would not be the droids you’re looking for. Now, if you were to assume that these droids are the droids you’re looking for because they are a protocol droid and an astromech, then that would actually make you the real racists, as you would assume that all astromech droids have the death star plans. So if this were true, these aren’t the droid you’re looking for.
December 2020

Ben Shapiro

Text-to-Speech Playing