Which one of you fucks got reddit to send me this shit
"Hi there,
A concerned redditor reached out to us about you.
When you're in the middle of something painful, it may feel like you don't have a lot of options."
Which one of you fucks got reddit to send me this shit
"Hi there,
A concerned redditor reached out to us about you.
When you're in the middle of something painful, it may feel like you don't have a lot of options."
Stonks only go up. But you don't.
You watch her as she brushes her hair. Sheโs humming a song you canโt quite hear and smiling to herself. Not for the first time, you wonder why this person chose you.
She turns. โWhat do you want for Christmas?โ You want to scream Save your money!, but you only shrug. โNothing, really.โ
โNothing?โ She crawls into bed and touches your leg. โAre you sure?โ Again, you wonder why this person chose you.
As she takes the weight of you in her hand, your mind wanders. To your puts. Theyโll expire worthless, like you. After several minutes of failing to conjure your manhood, she asks, โWhatโs wrong?โ
Stonks only go up.
But you donโt.
You watch her as she brushes her hair. Sheโs humming a song you canโt quite hear and smiling to herself. Not for the first time, you wonder why this person chose you.
She turns. โWhat do you want for Christmas?โ You want to scream Save your money!, but you only shrug. โNothing, really.โ
โNothing?โ She crawls into bed and touches your leg. โAre you sure?โ Again, you wonder why this person chose you.
As she takes the weight of you in her hand, your mind wanders. To your puts. Theyโll expire worthless, like you. After several minutes of failing to conjure your manhood, she asks, โWhatโs wrong?โ
Stonks only go up.
But you donโt.
Bears after a green day
Itโs 4:01pm. Bears solemnly log out of their devastated brokerage account, get up from their makeshift desk made up of a stack of empty Michelinaโs frozen lasagna dinners, head up the stairs of their fatherโs basement, grab the keys to their tan โ97 Chevy Cavalier and a cloth mask embroidered with the word โVOTE,โ and drive down the street to the local gay bar for a holiday themed burlesque show.
Itโs 4:01pm. Bears solemnly log out of their devastated brokerage account, get up from their makeshift desk made up of a stack of empty Michelinaโs frozen lasagna dinners, head up the stairs of their fatherโs basement, grab the keys to their tan โ97 Chevy Cavalier and a cloth mask embroidered with the word โVOTE,โ and drive down the street to the local gay bar for a holiday themed burlesque show.
Bullish market makes me hard
When the stocks ๐๐ go up ๐๐ธ, my dick goes too ๐โฌ๏ธ๐ณ. Bullish ๐ market ๐ฌ makes me hard ๐ฆด๐ฆ. All the countries ๐ณ๏ธ๐ด๐ดโโ ๏ธ๐๐ฉ๐ณ๏ธโ๐๐ณ๏ธโโง๏ธ๐บ๐ณ try to recover ๐ from corona ๐ฆ so the money ๐ฐ๐ต๐ธ flows ๐ฌ into my pocket ๐ณ. Soon ๐ there will be a crash ๐๐ญ๐ฅบ๐ and the bears ๐ป will crawl ๐ผ out of their holes ๐ณ. Then they cut off my greedy dick โ๏ธ๐๐ฉธ if I donโt โ eat โem out ๐ ๐ธ. I must turn into a bear ๐โก๏ธ๐ป and make ๐ค๐ผ more money ๐ฐ๐ต๐ธ and eat some honey ๐ป๐ฏ. When Iโm done โ Iโll throw a party ๐๐ท๐พ and eat your ass ๐ ๐.
When the stocks ๐๐ go up ๐๐ธ, my dick goes too ๐โฌ๏ธ๐ณ. Bullish ๐ market ๐ฌ makes me hard ๐ฆด๐ฆ. All the countries ๐ณ๏ธ๐ด๐ดโโ ๏ธ๐๐ฉ๐ณ๏ธโ๐๐ณ๏ธโโง๏ธ๐บ๐ณ try to recover ๐ from corona ๐ฆ so the money ๐ฐ๐ต๐ธ flows ๐ฌ into my pocket ๐ณ. Soon ๐ there will be a crash ๐๐ญ๐ฅบ๐ and the bears ๐ป will crawl ๐ผ out of their holes ๐ณ. Then they cut off my greedy dick โ๏ธ๐๐ฉธ if I donโt โ eat โem out ๐ ๐ธ. I must turn into a bear ๐โก๏ธ๐ป and make ๐ค๐ผ more money ๐ฐ๐ต๐ธ and eat some honey ๐ป๐ฏ. When Iโm done โ Iโll throw a party ๐๐ท๐พ and eat your ass ๐ ๐.
Did you ever hear the tragedy of Darth JPOW The Wise?
Did you ever hear the tragedy of Darth JPOW The Wise? I thought not. Itโs not a story the Motley Fool would tell you. Itโs a ๐ณ๏ธโ๐๐ป legend. Darth JPOW was a Dark Lord of the FED, so gay and such a bear he could use his money printer to influence the economy to create inflationโฆ He had such a knowledge of the economy that he could even keep stonk prices from falling. The dark side of the economy is a pathway to many abilities some consider to beโฆ transitory. He became so powerfulโฆ the only thing he was afraid of was losing his tendies, which eventually, of course, he did. Unfortunately, he taught Nancy Pelosi everything he knew, then she sold at the top. Ironic. He could save others from market corrections, but not himself.
Did you ever hear the tragedy of Darth JPOW The Wise? I thought not. Itโs not a story the Motley Fool would tell you. Itโs a ๐ณ๏ธโ๐๐ป legend. Darth JPOW was a Dark Lord of the FED, so gay and such a bear he could use his money printer to influence the economy to create inflationโฆ He had such a knowledge of the economy that he could even keep stonk prices from falling. The dark side of the economy is a pathway to many abilities some consider to beโฆ transitory. He became so powerfulโฆ the only thing he was afraid of was losing his tendies, which eventually, of course, he did. Unfortunately, he taught Nancy Pelosi everything he knew, then she sold at the top. Ironic. He could save others from market corrections, but not himself.
I used to be a real ad