[Copypasta] Jacked off in the shower while laying down in the tub

Jacked off in the shower while laying down in the tub -- shower water raining down from above. It was very nice and ended nicely. Later that day, I went to take a shit. Shit wouldn't come out, and I felt an odd tugging sensation between my ass cheeks. Thought I was dying and started freaking out while I tried to pinch my shit off to investigate. Turns out my jizz had found its way into my ass cheeks while laying down in the tub, mingled with all my ass hair, and solidified into a gelatinous plaster. Upon shitting, the hair was so fucked together that my cheeks couldn't separate for the shit to emerge (felt like that playdoh hair salon toy). I ended up having such a massacre of shitcum on my ass and hands that I had to get back in the shower just to clean off.
December 2020
I used to be a real ad
More Copypastas

These Kripp nudes are DISGUSTING!

twitch chat
November 2014
Kripp

This Copypasta Is CRAZY!

You cheated not only the game, but yourself

twitchquotes: You cheated not only the game, but yourself. You didn't grow. You didn't improve. You took a shortcut and gained nothing. You experienced a hollow victory. Nothing was risked and nothing was gained. It's sad that you don't know the difference.
twitch chat
April 2019

Classic

Chibi Vayne

⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠻⠋⠭⣭⠻⠟⠻⠿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠇⠄⠄⠁⠨⢰⠤⡐⡘⡙⠻⠟⠛⠻⡿⣷⣜⡛⣻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡇⠈⠄⠄⠄⠈⣀⣨⣤⣥⣦⣦⣤⡂⠱⡞⢸⣿⣿⣟⣻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⢻⣿⡇⠂⠄⡀⠄⣕⣵⢿⣿⢿⣿⣟⣿⣝⡆⠁⠨⣹⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣴⣿⣿⣿⠁⢁⠄⠤⠁⠉⢫⠮⡻⡿⠿⡓⠑⠩⠉⢹⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⢉⣶⣿⣿⢁⡢⠑⢅⠄⠐⠈⠄⣬⣾⣳⣄⢂⠠⡠⢹⣿⣿⡿⣻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣻⣄⣦⣾⡿⢿⣿⣷⡌⠌⠢⡫⡪⡾⣽⢿⣺⣯⣻⣯⢯⣫⣿⣿⢞⢾⢜⣽⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣧⣮⣿⣖⢀⠄⠈⠎⠝⠹⡹⡳⡋⡓⠽⣑⢺⣻⡏⣽⣿⣷⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠛⠄⠁⣿⡷⠆⡐⠐⡐⡀⣲⢳⠨⡚⢞⣹⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠄⡥⣼⢝⡠⣥⣦⣔⢆⡩⡼⣤⢵⣮⢸⡪⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡗⡈⡁⠠⣿⣿⣿⣐⠈⠊⡊⠂⠯⠻⠁⠁⢼⣿⢰⢱⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠌⠄⠠⣵⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠄⡆⡎⡔⡐⠄⠁⢈⠅⢢⠺⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣎⡪⣸⣿⣿⡿⠿⣋⠂⠄⡂⠨⡈⠏⡇⢀⠄⠘⠸⠿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣼⣾⣻⣬⣮⠏⠈⠌⡂⢁⠄⠣⡣⡂⠠⠐⠄⢌⠉⡛⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠟⡀⠄⠁⠄⠄⠄⠁⠪⡢⠐⠄⡁⠠⠑⠷⣶⣤⣽⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣋⣴⠂⡐⢰⡊⠠⢀⠡⠐⡭⡌⠄⠐⡀⠅⢐⠉⠿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡆⠠⠁⡐⡈⢴⣀⠁⠐⡈⢀⠡⠄⣳⣤⣂⣡⠈⢛⠻⠿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣔⠄⠄⡀⣿⣿⣮⡄⠨⠄⠠⠁⠄⣻⣿⣿⣿⣷⣶⣷⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠁⠄⢰⣤⣟⣻⣿⡀⢁⢡⣬⣐⣀⢛⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣵⣤⣦⣟⣻⡟⣿⣟⣧⣔⣸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣶⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿
September 2021

League of Legends

HOLD THE LINE

twitchquotes: HOLD THE LINE EVERYONE 🏥 WutFace _ 🔪
twitch chat
March 2016
Kripp

Please abide by the Reddit amendments

Sir, please abide by the Reddit amendments: • ⁠Big Chungus is funny • ⁠Keanu Reeves is the second coming of christ • ⁠Elon Musk is the third coming of Christ (as well as wholesome 100, he knows Reddit memes) • ⁠Fortnite is gay (gay = bad) • ⁠Females are dumb while men are cool • ⁠Nestle is the worst company ever (as well as the only bad company) • ⁠Minecraft is the best game ever made • ⁠No emojis allowed (except for 🗿 (yo angelo (it's funny because it's a Jojo reference (if you see someone commit a Jojo reference, you are legally forced to continue the reference chain, if you do not, you will be downvoted))) • ⁠Being downvoted means you're wrong, if you think you're being wrongfully downvoted, rethink your comment, and if you still think you were wrongfully downvoted, rethink your comment until you understand what you did wrong • ⁠Reddit is the best social media Until I have seen major improvements in your behavior, your post will be awarded one downvote (aka Australia upvote, it's funny because Australia is on the opposite side of the globe compared to Europe and America, lol). This is your first and final warning, if you do not abide by these amendments in the future, everyone will dislike that.
August 2021
Text-to-Speech Playing