[Copypasta] Jacked off in the shower while laying down in the tub

Jacked off in the shower while laying down in the tub -- shower water raining down from above. It was very nice and ended nicely. Later that day, I went to take a shit. Shit wouldn't come out, and I felt an odd tugging sensation between my ass cheeks. Thought I was dying and started freaking out while I tried to pinch my shit off to investigate. Turns out my jizz had found its way into my ass cheeks while laying down in the tub, mingled with all my ass hair, and solidified into a gelatinous plaster. Upon shitting, the hair was so fucked together that my cheeks couldn't separate for the shit to emerge (felt like that playdoh hair salon toy). I ended up having such a massacre of shitcum on my ass and hands that I had to get back in the shower just to clean off.
December 2020
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Kidnapped and put into a donger concentration camp

twitchquotes: helo my name is dongerino pasterino ヽ༼ຈل͜ຈ༽ノ, i am 69 year old donger from imaqtmeatloaf's stream . 420 years ago i was kidnapped and put into a donger concentration camp for 9001 years. 1 year ago, imaqtlasagne and imaqtpie invaded the camp and rescued me. now i work as teacherino, passing down the wisdom of ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) to young dongers.
twitch chat
October 2014
Riot Games

Coming out as morbsexual

In honor of Pride Month, I am here to say that it's morbin' time. Today, my fellow morbheads, we rise. I am proud to come out and express my true morbdentity to the world at this very morbment. I am a morbphile and I identify myself as morbsexual. My pronouns are morb/ius.
June 2022

Morbius

Putin should start an OnlyFans to save the Russian economy

Think about it. The Russian economy is in shambles. All assets frozen, there's no money coming in. But if he just spread that hiney for some people who would like it then why not? With a couple butt spread pictures maybe a ruble can be worth more than a potato again. Here are some content ideas that I suggest: Wanking Videos (pretty basic, these are the cheapest ones cuz his dick🍆 is like 1 cm🥜) Body Worship Videos (kinda hot ngl 😳😌😰, all his dick sucking oligarchs oil his body and touch him in ways he never thought possible👉👌👋🤛) Sanction Bukkake (a livestream where in a dick cums on his face every time he gets a sanction🍆🍆🍆🍆🍆🍆💦💦💦💦💦💦💦) Lukashenko Sex Tapes (these are pretty expensive, a collection of Vladdy Daddy and Lukashenskank cumming with every position in the Kamasutra💃🕺♋🏇🐕) Nuke-In-Crack Challenge (the most expensive one! This is where he fills his hole with the invaluable Russian crude oil and tries to fit a Nuclear Warhead up his ass! ⛽☢️🍑🎆) What u guys think?
March 2022

Russian Ukrainian War

Coronavirus

⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣠⣤⣀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣶⡟⢉⠁⠈⡻⠘⠏⠀⠹⢛⣷⠄⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣰⡞⢿⡄⠀⢻⡴⣇⣀⣷⣴⢄⢀⡖⡾⠁⢀⣼⢛⣦⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⣠⣄⠈⠙⢦⣿⣶⠞⠋⠉⠁⣀⣄⡀⠉⠙⠻⢦⣾⣵⠟⠉⢠⣄⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⢰⣯⣙⠷⣄⡴⠋⣤⣤⣤⠀⢸⡏⢉⣿⠀⣠⡤⣤⡘⢷⣤⡴⣛⣹⣧⠀⠀ ⠀⢀⣄⠀⠉⢛⡿⠁⠘⣧⣀⣼⠃⠀⠙⠛⠁⠀⢿⣄⣸⠇⠀⢹⡟⠉⠁⢀⣄⠀ ⠀⡾⡙⣛⣳⣾⠁⠀⡀⣀⠉⠀⠀⠀⣀⣀⠀⠀⠀⠉⢁⡀⡀⠀⢿⣶⣛⣋⣻⠀ ⠀⠉⠈⠉⠈⡹⠀⠸⠁⠙⣷⠀⠀⢸⡏⠉⣷⠀⠀⢰⠉⠈⣣⠀⠸⡉⠉⠉⠉⠀ ⠀⣿⠛⣛⣻⣿⠀⠈⠛⠙⠁⠀⠀⠈⠛⠛⠁⠀⠀⠀⠙⠛⠉⠀⣼⣽⣛⡛⣹⠀ ⠀⠘⠟⠉⠁⣘⣧⠀⢀⡶⠛⢶⡂⠀⢀⣀⠀⠀⣴⠟⢳⡄⠀⢰⣏⠀⠉⠙⠛⠀ ⠀⠀⢰⡶⢛⣭⠟⢧⡈⠷⠶⠾⠁⢰⡏⠙⣷⠀⠻⢦⠾⢃⣴⠿⢯⣛⢳⡶⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠻⠟⠁⢀⡴⣿⢶⣄⡀⠀⠈⠛⠚⠋⠀⢀⣠⡴⣾⢷⣄⠀⠹⠟⠁⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢺⣏⣴⠏⠀⣸⠟⠝⠓⠶⠶⠖⠛⠛⣯⠀⠘⢷⣙⡿⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⠉⠀⣶⣏⣬⠁⠀⣥⢠⠆⠀⣰⣘⣷⠄⠈⠉⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠉⠉⠀⠘⠳⠾⠛⠀⠉⠉⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ CORONAVIRUS IS HERE CHAT monkaW
March 2020

Coronavirus

COVID

The year is 2025. MoonMoon lies on his deathbed

twitchquotes: The year is 2025. MoonMoon_Ow lies on his deathbed, the countless years of oatmeal infighting finally having taken their toll. He struggles to adjust his eyes to the glare of his computer screen, yearning to view his beloved twitch chat one more time. All he sees is degenerate weeb spam. His eyes brim with tears. He begins gasping his final breath, and in his final moments he hits the hardest dab known to humanity
twitch chat
January 2018
MOONMOON
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