Jacked off in the shower while laying down in the tub -- shower water raining down from above. It was very nice and ended nicely. Later that day, I went to take a shit. Shit wouldn't come out, and I felt an odd tugging sensation between my ass cheeks. Thought I was dying and started freaking out while I tried to pinch my shit off to investigate. Turns out my jizz had found its way into my ass cheeks while laying down in the tub, mingled with all my ass hair, and solidified into a gelatinous plaster. Upon shitting, the hair was so fucked together that my cheeks couldn't separate for the shit to emerge (felt like that playdoh hair salon toy). I ended up having such a massacre of shitcum on my ass and hands that I had to get back in the shower just to clean off.
I used to be a real ad
More Copypastas
Darude Sandstorm
twitchquotes:
DUDUDUDUDUDUU
DUDUDUDUDUDUU
twitch chat
Reynad
I've become so much like Eren Jaeger, it's scary.
I've become so much like Eren Jaeger, it's scary.
I wear black cardigans, verbally assault women, and physically assault my friends. When I look in the mirror, I can't help but say "ๆฆใ, ๆฆใ" (which means fight, fight in american.) I grew my hair out long because I don't care so now I have to wear it in a bun and I don't care what people think so shut fuck up Hange! I always leave an open wound on my hand, and go out of my way to show it to everyone so they are reminded that I am in control. When I see dogs being taken on walks I get mad at them for not being free like I am. I can't have sex with my girlfriend anymore without forcing her to dress up as Mikasa or Historia, both of whom remind me of Armin. When I order fast food, I refuse to call them french fries and insist on calling them freedom fries. I just keep moving forward, until my enemies are destroyed.
Anime
Weebs
Attack on Titan
Reynad is like a pigeon
twitchquotes:
Reynad is like a pigeon. Pigeons are too self-absorbed to care about anyone else. They poo on people they don't like; they poo on people they don't even know. The only real difference between reynad and a pigeon is that reynad intends to rob us of our lives, our health, our honor, and our belongings.
twitch chat
Reynad
Gray Screen Simulator for Windows
twitchquotes:
Hey Tyler, I was just curious if this was the new Gray Screen Simulator for Windows and Windows devices? I've been seeing a lot of good reviews and was curious about picking it up. Thanks for the advice, buddy!
twitch chat
Tyler1
League of Legends
Kripp BMs an opponent in Hearthstone 2
twitchquotes:
Hey guys, I want to tell you about a terrible experience I had. I'm quite a nice guy but I've had a rough time lately. Kripp said I was a "Mind-blowingly bad hunter" or something like that. This made me a bit sad, but it got worse though. Kripp then said "This guy is a garbage human being", and he said that I'm "a super shit person". I don't know why this guy was being so toxic towards me. He seemed to be a grown man living in a palace, but he hated me so much and he's never even met me. 
twitch chat
Kripp