Jacked off in the shower while laying down in the tub -- shower water raining down from above. It was very nice and ended nicely. Later that day, I went to take a shit. Shit wouldn't come out, and I felt an odd tugging sensation between my ass cheeks. Thought I was dying and started freaking out while I tried to pinch my shit off to investigate. Turns out my jizz had found its way into my ass cheeks while laying down in the tub, mingled with all my ass hair, and solidified into a gelatinous plaster. Upon shitting, the hair was so fucked together that my cheeks couldn't separate for the shit to emerge (felt like that playdoh hair salon toy). I ended up having such a massacre of shitcum on my ass and hands that I had to get back in the shower just to clean off.
I used to be a real ad
More Copypastas
Wallstreetbet's Christmas break
Gonna be checking the market every chance I get while pretending to think my brother-in-law's Cards Against Humanity answers are funny.
WallStreetBets
Reynad was getting ready for his first HTC cast
twitchquotes:
Reynad was getting ready for his first HTC cast. His palms were sweaty. Frodan sits next to him, "are you nervous Andrey?" Reynad wipes away his tears and says, "not anymore". They both smile and place their hands on each other's crotch under the desk. Reynad closes his eyes. 
twitch chat
Reynad
Hearthstone
KappaPride
female streamer
twitchquotes:
ok, so i need some advice, there is this female streamer ive been watching for like 3 years, i've donated around $10,000 and bought about a dozen items on her amazon wishlist, she always calls me cute and now im her mod! im thinking of asking her out soon what do you guys think?
twitch chat
Ninja Mixer announcement
twitchquotes:
I know this may come as a shock to many of you, but, as of today, i will be streaming exclusively on Mixer. I know, i know, it's exciting. You know, i feel like this is a really good chance to get back in touch with my roots, and really remember why i fell in love with streaming in the first place.
twitch chat
Ninja
Hello Kripp, it's me Timothy
twitchquotes:
ʜᴇʟʟᴏ ᴋʀɪᴘᴘ, ɪᴛ's ᴍᴇ, ᴛɪᴍᴏᴛʜʏ. ʀᴇᴍᴇᴍʙᴇʀ ᴍᴇ? ʏᴏᴜ ᴜsᴇᴅ ᴛᴏ ʙᴜʟʟʏ ᴍᴇ ᴀɴᴅ ᴄᴀʟʟ ᴍᴇ ᴛʜᴇ ʙ ᴡᴏʀᴅ ᴡʜᴇɴ ɪ ᴡᴀs ᴀ ᴋɪᴅ, ʙᴜᴛ ɪ ɢʀᴇᴡ ᴜᴘ ᴀɴᴅ ɢᴏᴛ ᴛᴏᴜɢʜ ᕦ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)ᕤ . ɪ ᴀᴍ ɴᴏᴡ ʜᴇʀᴇ ᴛᴏ ᴅᴇғᴇɴᴅ ᴍʏ ʜᴏɴᴏʀ ᴀɴᴅ ᴋɪᴄᴋ ʏᴏᴜʀ ᴀ** (ง'̀-'́)ง
twitch chat
Kripp