[Copypasta] Jacked off in the shower while laying down in the tub

Jacked off in the shower while laying down in the tub -- shower water raining down from above. It was very nice and ended nicely. Later that day, I went to take a shit. Shit wouldn't come out, and I felt an odd tugging sensation between my ass cheeks. Thought I was dying and started freaking out while I tried to pinch my shit off to investigate. Turns out my jizz had found its way into my ass cheeks while laying down in the tub, mingled with all my ass hair, and solidified into a gelatinous plaster. Upon shitting, the hair was so fucked together that my cheeks couldn't separate for the shit to emerge (felt like that playdoh hair salon toy). I ended up having such a massacre of shitcum on my ass and hands that I had to get back in the shower just to clean off.
December 2020
What happened to this ad? :(
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moon2WOW

⣿⣿⣿⠛⠉⢀⣤⣀⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠻⠷⠄⠄⠄⢘⣲⣄⠉⢻⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⠛⠁⠄⢸⣿⣿⡿⣋⣤⠤⠄⠄⣀⣀⣀⡀⠄⠄⠄⣀⣤⣤⣤⣤⣅⡀⠹⣿⣿ ⠇⠄⠌⢀⣿⣿⣿⣿⠟⣁⣴⣾⣿⣿⠟⡛⠛⢿⣆⢸⣿⣿⣿⠫⠄⠈⢻⠄⢹⣿ ⠄⠘⠄⣸⣿⣿⣿⣿⡐⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣄⠅⢀⣼⡿⠘⢿⣿⣿⣷⣥⣴⡿⠄⢸⣿ ⠄⠃⠄⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣬⡙⠻⠿⠿⠿⠿⠟⠋⠁⣠⡀⠠⠭⠭⠭⢥⣤⠄⢸⣿ ⢸⠄⢸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣉⣛⠒⠒⠒⢂⣁⣠⣴⣿⣿⣿⣶⣶⣶⣿⣿⡇⠄⣿ ⣿⠄⢸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠟⠋⠉⠉⠛⢿⣿⣿⣿⡇⠄⣿ ⡏⠄⢸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠋⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠈⢻⣿⣿⠃⢀⣿ ⡇⠄⢸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠿⠿⠇⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠈⣿⣿⠄⢸⣿ ⡇⠄⢸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣏⠄⠹⣶⣄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠘⠛⢿⠄⢸⣿ ⠃⠠⠈⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡆⢰⣿⣿⣧⠄⡀⠄⢀⣠⣶⣿⠗⠄⢀⣾⣿ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠉⠻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠈⣿⣿⠃⠄⣩⣴⣿⣿⣿⣃⣤⣶⠄⢹⣿ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠉⠻⢿⣿⣿⣿⡟⢠⣿⣧⣴⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣋⡀⠘⣿ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠉⠛⠁⠈⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠟⠄⠻ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠘⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣾⡖
July 2021
MOONMOON

Greetings Kripp, I am Dr. Hannibal Lector

twitchquotes: ༼ つ ͡ ͡° ͜ ʖ ͡ ͡° ༽つ Greetings Kripp, I am Dr. Hannibal Lector, renowned Psychiatrist based in Baltimore, Maryland. I have heard you are the saltiest man alive, I am intrigued by a man of your... tastes. I would like to invite you for... dinner. ༼ つ ͡ ͡° ͜ ʖ ͡ ͡° ༽つ
twitch chat
January 2015
Kripp

Classic

salty

I sexually Identify as the "I sexually identify as an attack helicopter" joke

I sexually Identify as the "I sexually identify as an attack helicopter" joke. Ever since I was a child, I've dreamed of flippantly dismissing any concepts or discussions regarding gender that don't fit in with what I learned in 8th grade bio. People say to me that this joke hasn't been funny since 2014 and please at least come up with a new one, but I don't care, I'm hilarious. I'm having a plastic surgeon install Ctrl, C, and V keys on my body. From now on I want you guys to call me "epic kek dank meme trannies owned with facts and logic" and respect my right to shit up social media. If you can't accept me you're a memeophobe and need to check your ability-to-critically-think privilege. Thank you for being so understanding.
March 2021

I sexually Identify as

LEGO Yoda CBT lyrics

[Verse 1] Crush my cock with a rock I must. Maximum pain I must endure. Ok, here we go. [Chorus] AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
January 2021
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