Jacked off in the shower while laying down in the tub -- shower water raining down from above. It was very nice and ended nicely. Later that day, I went to take a shit. Shit wouldn't come out, and I felt an odd tugging sensation between my ass cheeks. Thought I was dying and started freaking out while I tried to pinch my shit off to investigate. Turns out my jizz had found its way into my ass cheeks while laying down in the tub, mingled with all my ass hair, and solidified into a gelatinous plaster. Upon shitting, the hair was so fucked together that my cheeks couldn't separate for the shit to emerge (felt like that playdoh hair salon toy). I ended up having such a massacre of shitcum on my ass and hands that I had to get back in the shower just to clean off.
(▀̿Ĺ̯├┬┴┬┴ Psst... kid, you wanna disable adblock?
More Copypastas
I'm done with this chat
twitchquotes:
Alright, I'm done with this f*cking chat. All you retards do is pick the guy with the least IQ and the most stupid comment, and then you proceed to copypaste it for like ten minutes straight. Y'all are retarded as f*ck
Alright, I'm done with this f*cking chat. All you retards do is pick the guy with the least IQ and the most stupid comment, and then you proceed to copypaste it for like ten minutes straight. Y'all are retarded as f*ck
twitch chat
One off lethal
twitchquotes:
Discovering his inner-passion for painting, Kripp leaves Twitch for good and takes Rania and Dex on the road with him to pursue his dream. After six months Kripp realizes being an artist is a lot harder than playing video games. But it’s too late. Homeless and starving, Rania hates Kripp, Dex hates Kripp, and, worst of all, Kripp hates Kripp. Buying a gun one rainy day, he puts it in his mouth and pulls the trigger. *click* He forgot to buy bullets. “One off lethal,” Rania sobs.
twitch chat
Kripp
mattress/furniture stores exist in a quantum superposition
I'm convinced that mattress/furniture stores exist in a quantum superposition of grand opening and going out of business sale.
It is both and neither at once until an observer records the state at which point it becomes one or the other.
But because you know exactly where the store is located, you cannot know how fast it is going out of business because of your uncertainty about its business momentum.
All around us, all the time pairs of anti-discount mattress stores and discount mattress stores are popping into existence, forming the quantum memory foam that is the basis for the universe. Without the pressure of this quantum memory foam strip malls would collapse.
We can see evidence of this when a pair is created such that one half is within the sales radius of a supermassive furniture store like Ikea-- one of them is pulled in and the other escapes as a Hawking mattress store.
JUSTICE RAINS FROM ABOVE
twitchquotes:
ヽJUSTICE｀、｀RAINSヽ｀ヽヽ☂ 
☂ ヽヽFROMヽ｀ヽ｀、｀ABOVEヽ｀
☂ ヽヽFROMヽ｀ヽ｀、｀ABOVEヽ｀
twitch chat