[Copypasta] Jacked off in the shower while laying down in the tub

Jacked off in the shower while laying down in the tub -- shower water raining down from above. It was very nice and ended nicely. Later that day, I went to take a shit. Shit wouldn't come out, and I felt an odd tugging sensation between my ass cheeks. Thought I was dying and started freaking out while I tried to pinch my shit off to investigate. Turns out my jizz had found its way into my ass cheeks while laying down in the tub, mingled with all my ass hair, and solidified into a gelatinous plaster. Upon shitting, the hair was so fucked together that my cheeks couldn't separate for the shit to emerge (felt like that playdoh hair salon toy). I ended up having such a massacre of shitcum on my ass and hands that I had to get back in the shower just to clean off.
December 2020
I used to be a real ad
More Copypastas

Meanwhile in Qtpie's chat

twitchquotes: Meanwhile in Qtpie's chat: ~ Kappa ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ ~ Kappa ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€~ Kappa ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€~ Kappa ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€~ Kappa ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€~ Kappa ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€~ Kappa ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€~ Kappa ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ ใ€€~ Kappa ~ Kappa ใ€€ ใ€€ใ€€~ Kappa ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€~ Kappa ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€~ Kappa ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€~ Kappa ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€~ Kappa ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€~ Kappa ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€~ Kappa ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€~ Kappa ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€~ Kappa ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€~ Kappa ใ€€ ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€~ Kappa
twitch chat
November 2014
imaqtpie

EARN that starting position

twitchquotes: It was a humid night, all the windows were open in the Cloud 9 house as Sneaky looked outside contemplating how to avoid the bench again. As he mused the door creaked open and Jack was there. Sneaky knew what had to be done as he got on his knees to fellate his boss. "Oh yea Sneaky, work that hard cock, EARN that starting position"
twitch chat
July 2018
Sneaky

League of Legends

Stop posting ResidentSleeper face

twitchquotes: Guys stop posting ResidentSleeper face. Not many know, but that ResidentSleeper guy actually died while streaming Resident Evil. People just assumed that was sleeping, but he died of dehydration. Please respect the dead and stop posting this morbid image ResidentSleeper
twitch chat
March 2015
Forsen

She sells seashells on a seashore, but the value of these shells will fall

She sells seashells on a seashore But the value of these shells will fall Due to the laws of supply and demand No one wants to buy shells 'cause there's loads on the sand Step 1: you must create a sense of scarcity Shells will sell much better if the people think they're rare, you see Bare with me, take as many shells as you can find and hide 'em on an island stockpile 'em high until they're rarer than a diamond Step 2: you gotta make the people think that they want 'em Really want 'em, really fuckin want 'em Hit 'em like Bronson Influencers, product placement, featured prime time entertainment If you haven't got a shell then you're just a fucking waste man Three: it's monopoly, invest inside some property, start a corporation, make a logo, do it properly ""Shells must sell"", that will be your new philosophy Swallow all your morals they're a poor man's quality Four: expand, expand, expand, clear forest, make land, fresh blood on hand Five: why just shells? Why limit your self? She sells seashells, sell oil as well! Six: guns, sell stocks, sell diamonds, sell rocks, sell water to a fish, sell the time to a clock Seven: press on the gas, take your foot off the brakes, Run to be the president of the United States Eight: big smile mate, big wave that's great Now the truth is overrated, tell lies out the gate Nine: Polarize the people, controversy is the game It don't matter if they hate you if they all say your name Ten: the world is yours, step out on a stage to a round of applause You're a liar, a cheat, a devil, a whore And you sell seashells on the seashore.
August 2021

Reynad is like a pigeon

twitchquotes: Reynad is like a pigeon. Pigeons are too self-absorbed to care about anyone else. They poo on people they don't like; they poo on people they don't even know. The only real difference between reynad and a pigeon is that reynad intends to rob us of our lives, our health, our honor, and our belongings.
twitch chat
March 2014
Reynad
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