[Copypasta] Jacked off in the shower while laying down in the tub

Jacked off in the shower while laying down in the tub -- shower water raining down from above. It was very nice and ended nicely. Later that day, I went to take a shit. Shit wouldn't come out, and I felt an odd tugging sensation between my ass cheeks. Thought I was dying and started freaking out while I tried to pinch my shit off to investigate. Turns out my jizz had found its way into my ass cheeks while laying down in the tub, mingled with all my ass hair, and solidified into a gelatinous plaster. Upon shitting, the hair was so fucked together that my cheeks couldn't separate for the shit to emerge (felt like that playdoh hair salon toy). I ended up having such a massacre of shitcum on my ass and hands that I had to get back in the shower just to clean off.
December 2020
What happened to this ad? :(
More Copypastas

Hello Mr TidesofTime, this is Google's manager Gabe Horn

twitchquotes: Hello Mr TidesofTime, this is Google's manager Gabe Horn here. We have received word you are singing to your viewers. As a Streamer on our newest acquisition, Twitch, your voice is now copy-righted. Please stop immediately. Thank you.
twitch chat
August 2014
TidesOfTime

Unicorn

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September 2021

a girl called me peggable yesterday and idk if im happy with that lmao

so yesterday at school i was with 2 of my friends and we were standing at a table with 2 girls that one of my friends knows better than i know them, and we were talking about couples in our school, and one of the girls just says to me out of nowhere “you’re like the main example of a kind of peggable boy too” and that took be by surprise so much i said “oh, wwell thanks i guess” and i think i was probably blushing soo idk if i only solidified her opinion lmao so like idk if she was flirting or just messing with me im not great at picking up hints, it seems like im not as crazy into pegging as most of u guys are (im mostly gay lmao) and also i dont know if i can now still normally talk to her so help me please ;-;
April 2022

Marginally optimizing a children's game!

twitchquotes: Hey Kripp, loyal fan chiming in here (for once). I think your stream is great! I would have spent my time working towards a cure for cancer, or how to automate food production in the 3rd world, but luckily i stumbled onto your stream and now I can waste my time watching you marginally optimize a children's game! What a career you have made!
twitch chat
October 2014
Kripp

POLICE VOLIBEAR

twitchquotes: HotPokket HELLO RIOT? ☎️ HotPokket MAE HERE ☎️ POLICE VOLIBEAR SELECTED ☎️ HotPokket IM TRIGGERED ☎️ HotPokket
twitch chat
July 2020

League of Legends

Text-to-Speech Playing