[Copypasta] Jacked off in the shower while laying down in the tub

Jacked off in the shower while laying down in the tub -- shower water raining down from above. It was very nice and ended nicely. Later that day, I went to take a shit. Shit wouldn't come out, and I felt an odd tugging sensation between my ass cheeks. Thought I was dying and started freaking out while I tried to pinch my shit off to investigate. Turns out my jizz had found its way into my ass cheeks while laying down in the tub, mingled with all my ass hair, and solidified into a gelatinous plaster. Upon shitting, the hair was so fucked together that my cheeks couldn't separate for the shit to emerge (felt like that playdoh hair salon toy). I ended up having such a massacre of shitcum on my ass and hands that I had to get back in the shower just to clean off.
December 2020
I used to be a real ad
More Copypastas

Leaf Of Legend

twitchquotes: Hello mr michael "ImAPie" santana i am writing to tell you how removing adblock make me better at "Leaf Of Legend". i remove adblock and see add for "Skillcap". Skillcap help me become bestest LoL player in Somalia - Bronze 4. Worth sell wife.
twitch chat
December 2014
imaqtpie

LilZ

β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–„β–„β–€β–€β–ˆβ–€β–€β–€β–€β–€β–„β–„β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘ β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–„β–€β–“β–‘β–‘β–’β–‘β–‘β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–ˆβ–„β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘ β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–„β–ˆβ–“β–“β–“β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–ˆβ–€β–„β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘ β–‘β–‘β–„β–€β–ˆβ–Œβ–“β–“β–“β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–β–Œβ–“β–€β–„β–‘β–‘ β–‘β–ˆβ–“β–“β–ˆβ–Œβ–“β–„β–„β–“β–‘β–‘β–‘β–’β–’β–’β–’β–„β–„β–’β–’β–’β–ˆβ–“β–“β–€β–„β–‘ β–„β–€β–“β–“β–ˆβ–Œβ–“β–€β–ˆβ–“β–‘β–‘β–‘β–’β–’β–’β–’β–ˆβ–“β–€β–’β–„β–Œβ–“β–“β–“β–“β–ˆ β–ˆβ–“β–“β–“β–„β–€β–“β–“β–“β–“β–‘β–‘β–‘β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–‘β–‘β–Œβ–“β–“β–“β–ˆ β–€β–„β–“β–“β–ˆβ–‘β–€β–“β–“β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–‘β–„β–Œβ–“β–“β–ˆβ–‘ β–‘β–ˆβ–“β–“β–“β–ˆβ–‘β–“β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–’β–’β–’β–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–“β–“β–“β–ˆβ–‘ β–‘β–€β–„β–“β–“β–ˆβ–‘β–β–‘β–‘β–„β–„β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–„β–‘β–‘β–‘β–β–‘β–‘β–‘β–€β–„β–€β–‘β–‘ β–‘β–‘β–€β–„β–„β–€β–‘β–β–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–€β–‘β–‘β–„β–€β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘ β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–€β–‘β–‘β–€β–ˆβ–ˆβ–€β–‘β–„β–€β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘
November 2014

I think Kogmaw would be perfect for your playstyle

twitchquotes: Hey imaqtpie, there's a new champ named kogmaw who I think would be perfect for your playstyle. Kogmaw is capable of doing damage after he's been killed and I think you could really benefit from that passive ability. Hope this helps!
twitch chat
August 2019
imaqtpie

League of Legends

Rick

⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣿⣿⣷⑄⒀⣴⣿⣿⣿⑇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⒀⣀⠀⠀Ⓕ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣇⣀⣠⣀⣀⑀⠀⠀ β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β’Ώβ£Ώβ£Ώβ£Ώβ£Ώβ£‹β£…β£€β£€β£Œβ ‰β »β’Ώβ£Ώβ£Ώβ£Ώβ‘Ώβ β €β € β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β Ήβ£Ώβ‘Ÿβ ‹β ‰β €β €β ‰β ™β »β’Άβ‘Œβ’»β£Ώβ£Ώβ β €β €β € β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β£€β£ β£Ύβ£Ώβ£§β£Άβ£¦β£„β’€β£€β£Άβ£¦β£„β €β ˜β£Ώβ£Ώβ£Ώβ£Άβ£¦β£€ β €β£°β‘†β €β €β €β €β ˆβ »β£Ώβ£Ώβ£Ώβ£Ώβ£Ώβ£Ώβ’Έβ£Ώβ£Ώβ£Ώβ£Ώβ †β €β£Ώβ£Ώβ£Ώβ Ÿβ ‹β  β €β£Ώβ£‡β €β €β €β €β €β €β£Έβ£Ώβ »β Ώβ Ÿβ‘ƒβ €β »β Ώβ Ώβ Ÿβ €β €β£Ώβ£Ώβ£Άβ£„β €β € ⠀Ⓓ⣿⣀⣀⣄⣀⠀⠾⠿⣿⑀⠀⠀⣇⣼⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⒀⠙⣿⣿⑿⠿⠀ ⠀Ⓒ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠀⠀⒀⣼⑧⒀⣠⣀⣀⣄⠀⠀⠀⠀⒠⣢⣿⣍⠀⠀⠀ β €β ˜β Ώβ£Ώβ£Ώβ£Ώβ ‹β €β €β ˆβ ½β’·β‘Ώβ£Ώβ£Ώβ£Ώβ£Ώβ‘·β ‚β €β’ β£Ώβ‘β ‰β ‰β €β €β € β €β €β €β£Όβ ‰β’§β €β €β €β €β’ β£‘β’½β£€β£€β €β €β €β£ β žβ ƒβ €β β €β €β €β €β € β €β €β ˜β‘‡β €β ˜β‘†β €β €β €β’Έβ£Έβ’Όβ‘½β£Ώβ£·β£„β’°β£Ώβ£¦β£„β£€β €β €β €β €β €β € β €β €β €β£Ώβ €β €β£·β£Άβ‘„β’ β Žβ €β €β£°β’Ÿβ£Ώβ£Ώβ£Ώβ£Ώβ’»β‘„β ˆβ’³β‘€β €β €β €β € β €β €β €β£Ώβ €β’€β‘‡β €β£°β ‹β €β£€β£Όβ β’Έβ£Ώβ£Ώβ£Ώβ£Ώβ ˜β£·β €β €β’³β‘€β €β €β € β’€β €β €β£Ώβ €β ˆβ£‡β£΅β ƒβ €β’ β£Ώβ‘β €β£Όβ£Ώβ£Ώβ£Ώβ‘β €β’Ήβ‘†β €β ˆβ‘‡β €β €β € ⠀⠀⠀Ⓒ⠀⠀⠉⠉⠀⣠⣾⣿⠻⣄⣻⣿⣿⣿⑇⣀⑾⠃⠀⠀⑇⠀⠀⠀
April 2020

Disappointed with Giant Enemy Crabgot

twitchquotes: I was INSANELY disappointed once I loaded into summoner's rift on my favourite champion, Urgot, to find that Giant Enemy Crabgot did NOT have a female resting on his left shoulder ingame. This is a HUGE deal as it was one of the main factors of which I purchased the skin. I sincerely ask that you recoup my losses or change the skin to have a female resting on his manly shoulder
twitch chat
January 2017

League of Legends

Text-to-Speech Playing