[Copypasta] Jacked off in the shower while laying down in the tub

Jacked off in the shower while laying down in the tub -- shower water raining down from above. It was very nice and ended nicely. Later that day, I went to take a shit. Shit wouldn't come out, and I felt an odd tugging sensation between my ass cheeks. Thought I was dying and started freaking out while I tried to pinch my shit off to investigate. Turns out my jizz had found its way into my ass cheeks while laying down in the tub, mingled with all my ass hair, and solidified into a gelatinous plaster. Upon shitting, the hair was so fucked together that my cheeks couldn't separate for the shit to emerge (felt like that playdoh hair salon toy). I ended up having such a massacre of shitcum on my ass and hands that I had to get back in the shower just to clean off.
December 2020
I used to be a real ad
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twitchquotes: εŽ‚δΈ‹εΉΏεžε»ΏεδΈ€ε‰εŠδΈŽζœ¬δΊŒδΈŠζ—¦δΈŠδΊŒζœ¬δΈŽεŠε‰δΈ€εε»ΏεžεΉΏδΈ‹εŽ‚εŽ‚δΈ‹εΉΏεžε»ΏεδΈ€ε‰εŠδΈŽζœ¬δΊŒδΈŠζ—¦δΈŠδΊŒζœ¬δΈŽεŠε‰δΈ€εε»ΏεžεΉΏδΈ‹εŽ‚εŽ‚δΈ‹εΉΏεžε»ΏεδΈ€ε‰εŠδΈŽζœ¬δΊŒδΈŠζ—¦δΈŠδΊŒζœ¬δΈŽεŠε‰δΈ€εε»ΏεžεΉΏδΈ‹εŽ‚εŽ‚δΈ‹εΉΏεžε»ΏεδΈ€ε‰εŠδΈŽζœ¬δΊŒδΈŠζ—¦δΈŠδΊŒζœ¬δΈŽεŠε‰δΈ€εε»ΏεžεΉΏδΈ‹εŽ‚εŽ‚δΈ‹εΉΏεžε»ΏεδΈ€ε‰εŠδΈŽζœ¬δΊŒδΈŠζ—¦δΈŠδΊŒζœ¬δΈŽεŠε‰δΈ€εε»ΏεžεΉΏδΈ‹εŽ‚εŽ‚δΈ‹εΉΏεžε»ΏεδΈ€ε‰εŠδΈŽζœ¬δΊŒδΈŠζ—¦δΈŠδΊŒζœ¬δΈŽεŠε‰δΈ€εε»ΏεžεΉΏδΈ‹εŽ‚εŽ‚δΈ‹εΉΏεžε»ΏεδΈ€ε‰εŠδΈŽζœ¬δΊŒδΈŠζ—¦δΈŠδΊŒζœ¬δΈŽεŠε‰δΈ€εε»ΏεžεΉΏδΈ‹εŽ‚εŽ‚δΈ‹εΉΏεžε»ΏεδΈ€ε‰εŠδΈŽζœ¬δΊŒδΈŠζ—¦δΈŠδΊŒζœ¬δΈŽεŠε‰δΈ€εε»ΏεžεΉΏδΈ‹εŽ‚εŽ‚δΈ‹εΉΏεžε»ΏεδΈ€ε‰εŠδΈŽζœ¬δΊŒδΈŠζ—¦δΈŠδΊŒζœ¬δΈŽεŠε‰δΈ€εε»ΏεžεΉΏδΈ‹εŽ‚εŽ‚δΈ‹εΉΏεžε»ΏεδΈ€ε‰εŠδΈŽζœ¬δΊŒδΈŠζ—¦δΈŠδΊŒζœ¬δΈŽεŠε‰δΈ€εε»ΏεžεΉΏδΈ‹εŽ‚εŽ‚δΈ‹εΉΏεžε»ΏεδΈ€ε‰εŠ
twitch chat
May 2020

NOT. SELLING. GAMESTOP.

🦍 🍌 🦍 🍌 🦍 🍌 🦍 🍌 🦍 🍌 🦍 🍌 NOT. FUCKING. SELLING. πŸš€ πŸš€ πŸš€ πŸš€ πŸš€ πŸš€ πŸš€ πŸš€ πŸš€ πŸš€ πŸš€ πŸš€ NOT PRESSING β€œSELL” ON 1. FUCKING. SHARE. πŸ’Ž 🀚 πŸ’Ž 🀚 πŸ’Ž 🀚 πŸ’Ž 🀚 πŸ’Ž 🀚 πŸ’Ž 🀚 I’LL GO TO $0.00 BEFORE BILLIONAIRES GET ONE MORE PENNY FROM US. πŸš€ πŸš€ πŸš€ πŸš€ πŸš€ πŸš€ πŸš€ πŸš€ πŸš€ πŸš€ πŸš€ πŸš€ CAN’T STOP. WON’T STOP. GAMESTOP. πŸ’Ž 🀚 πŸ’Ž 🀚 πŸ’Ž 🀚 πŸ’Ž 🀚 πŸ’Ž 🀚 πŸ’Ž 🀚 TOMORROW, I THINK I’LL BE HOLDING THE LINE. MAYBE MAKE SOME TENDIES, TOO. πŸš€ πŸš€ πŸš€ πŸš€ πŸš€ πŸš€ πŸš€ πŸš€ πŸš€ πŸš€ πŸš€ πŸš€ I’LL SEE EVERY ONE OF YOU BEAUTIFUL APES ON PLUTO SOON, AND IT’S GOING TO JUST BE A SEA OF SPARKLING DIAMOND. πŸ’Ž 🀚 πŸ’Ž 🀚 πŸ’Ž 🀚 πŸ’Ž 🀚 πŸ’Ž 🀚 πŸ’Ž 🀚 I LOVE YOU, ALL, AND I’M NOT SELLING, AND I’M NOT FUCKING LEAVING. NOT ONE. FUCKING. SHARE!!! πŸš€ πŸš€ πŸš€ πŸš€ πŸš€ πŸš€ πŸš€ πŸš€ πŸš€ πŸš€ πŸš€ πŸš€
February 2021

WallStreetBets

EU "Expect Unsatisfaction” is known as the fastest region to arrive at the Airport

EU "Expect Unsatisfaction” is known as the fastest region to arrive at the Airport. Since they gave up on the LoL Worlds Championship, they are investing in Speedruns. In particular they are current worldrecord holders in Airport no wins Any %
October 2021

EU vs NA

You have been permanently banned from this channel

twitchquotes: β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€” imGlitch You have been permanently banned from this channel. Please review the Twitch Terms of Service for more information. β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”
twitch chat
June 2017

jerma got so angry at the one guy in chat

One day jerma got so angry at the one guy in chat who was being mean and spamming residentsleeper, he quite literally stuck his hands into his screen and yanked really hard. Out came this 5'9 brown haired highschooler who instantly began begging for his life. However, jerma growled really loud and started chanting the lyrics to "I'm a Walrus" by the beatles. The mods, the chat, no one could stop what happened next. Chat was spamming PauseChamp. Then Jerma just grabbed the poor highschooler by his neck and lifted him off the floor and began to spin him really fast.. His guts came flying out with the sheer force that jerma used to spin him. The camera was stained with blood and chat was all spamming monkaW and "LULW typical One guy moment". After a couple of moments jerma wiped the red marking from the camera and sat back down as if nothing happened. The weirdest part was that he started talking about soy milk and how he wasn't a sponsor with any soy milk company. He seemed quite annoyed that he wasnt a sponsor but continued to elaborate on how much he loved soy milk, but only that one specific brand of soy milk. I'm telling you, the one guy residentsleeper spammers are annoying as hell. EDIT: Unfortunately that segment of the VOD was deleted due to DMCA issues with Jerma singing The Beatles.
July 2022
Jerma985
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