[Copypasta] Jacked off in the shower while laying down in the tub

Jacked off in the shower while laying down in the tub -- shower water raining down from above. It was very nice and ended nicely. Later that day, I went to take a shit. Shit wouldn't come out, and I felt an odd tugging sensation between my ass cheeks. Thought I was dying and started freaking out while I tried to pinch my shit off to investigate. Turns out my jizz had found its way into my ass cheeks while laying down in the tub, mingled with all my ass hair, and solidified into a gelatinous plaster. Upon shitting, the hair was so fucked together that my cheeks couldn't separate for the shit to emerge (felt like that playdoh hair salon toy). I ended up having such a massacre of shitcum on my ass and hands that I had to get back in the shower just to clean off.
December 2020
I used to be a real ad
More Copypastas

YOU TOOK MY FORTNITE CARD

YOU’RE 🌥️ SO SUSSY 😓😓🙊😨😳🎵 I 😀 KNOW 💭 YOU 👈 TOOK 👫 MY 😏 FORTNITE 🎮 CARD 🃏🃏 I 🍾 KNOW 🤔 YOU 🤖 TOOK 🤯 MY 😘 19 ❗ DOLLAR 💲 FORTNITE 💩 CARD 💳 GIVE 🚪🌌🍸 ME 👈 MY 👨😣 19 ❗ DOLLAR 💰 FORTNITE 💩 CARD 💳😑 YOU 👈😭 BETTER 🎰 GIVE 👹 ME 👩💡 MY 🥳 19 ❗ DOLLAR 💸 FORTNITE 👌🎮 CARD 🗃 I 👹 NEED 📲 MY 🔑 19 ♈ DOLLAR 💵 FORTNITE 👌🎮 CARD, 💳 NOW! 📅
May 2021

Fortnite

Dave’s Hot ‘N Juicy 1/4lb Single

twitchquotes: My god, I would kill someone for a Dave’s Hot ‘N Juicy 1/4lb Single right about now. I mean that bakery bun, coupled with that sexy melted American cheese, the kick of those red onions, and the salty, seasoned square of beef that is always fresh and never frozen cannot be topped anywhere. Every time I bite into a Wendy’s burger, it’s like it’s making love to my tastebuds. I don’t even like eating fast food; unless it’s Wendy’s.
twitch chat
April 2019
NairoMK

People watch reynad just to masturbate

twitchquotes: ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) Reynad does it bother you that out of 15k viewers, its highly likely that some people watch your stream just to masturbate? ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)
twitch chat
May 2014
Reynad

A long long time ago, when Kripp was noLife

twitchquotes: A long long time ago, when Kripp was noLife, he stumbled across an old woman in an alleyway after buying some lentil soup. She told Kripp to give him the soup and in return he would find a beautiful girl. Unfortunately, Kripp didnt realize the old woman was the succubus Raina, who would eventually make him a simple casualarrians
twitch chat
November 2015
Kripp

LOL rage face

⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣀⣤⣴⣶⣿⠿⣿⣿⠿⠿⠿⠿⠿⢿⣿⣷⣶⣶⣤⣄⣀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣠⣶⣿⣿⣿⣿⣭⣤⣤⠤⠤⢤⣀⣀⣀⣀⣀⣀⣀⡈⠉⢙⣿⣿⣿⣶⣤⣀⣀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣤⣾⠟⠋⠀⠀⣀⣤⣴⣿⡿⠿⢲⣤⣤⣄⣀⣀⠀⡀⠀⠀⣠⡾⠿⠟⠛⠛⠿⢿⣿⣿⣶⣤⣤⣀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣰⣾⠟⠁⢀⣤⣾⣿⠟⠋⣉⣀⣀⣀⣈⣉⣩⠭⠭⠭⠭⠭⠭⠭⠤⠤⠀⠀⠀⣠⣶⠿⠿⠿⠿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣶⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⢠⣾⡟⠁⣠⣾⣿⡿⠋⠀⣠⡾⠛⠋⠉⠉⠙⠛⠿⣦⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣴⡿⠋⠀⠀⠀⣠⣾⣿⡟⢻⣿⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⢠⣿⠏⠠⠞⠛⠛⠋⠀⢀⣾⠋⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠸⣷⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣾⠏⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠙⠻⠿⠁⢸⣿⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⣾⡿⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣸⡏⠀⣀⣤⣤⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣿⡄⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠠⣏⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣾⣿⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⢠⣿⠃⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢰⣶⣿⡇⠀⣿⣿⣿⡿⠂⠀⠀⠀⠀⣿⠃⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢿⣄⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣀⣼⠏⣿⡇⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⢸⣿⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠚⠛⢛⣿⣿⣤⡙⠛⠋⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣼⠟⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⠙⠛⠳⣶⣶⠿⠛⠛⠛⠿⣦⣿⣿⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⣾⡇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠞⠉⠀⠈⠛⠿⠶⣦⣤⣴⡾⠟⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣀⣴⠟⠁⢀⣀⣤⣀⡀⠀⠙⢿⣧⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⣿⡇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠠⢤⣤⣤⣤⣤⡤⠴⠖⢻⣿⠃⢀⣴⡿⠉⠉⠉⠻⣦⠀⠀⢿⣧⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⣿⡇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢠⣤⣤⣤⣤⣤⣤⠤⠖⠀⣠⣿⠃⠀⣼⡿⣿⡟⢲⡶⣤⣿⣆⠀⢸⣿⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⣿⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠘⠻⠿⢯⣥⣤⣤⣤⠖⠀⣿⡏⠀⢰⣿⣀⣿⣀⣸⣀⣿⣉⣿⠀⢸⣿⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⣿⡇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠠⣤⣤⣤⣤⣤⣄⣀⣀⠀⣿⡇⠀⢸⡇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣿⠂⣼⡇⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⢸⣇⠀⢠⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢹⣧⠀⢸⡇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢰⡿⢠⣿⠁⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠘⣿⡀⠈⣧⠀⠸⡆⠀⢤⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢸⣿⠀⢸⡇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢠⣿⠁⣾⡇⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⢸⣧⠀⠸⣧⠀⣷⠀⠀⠳⡄⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢸⣿⠀⢸⡇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣾⡇⠀⣿⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⢿⡄⠀⠘⣷⣻⡇⠀⠀⠙⢦⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠤⣤⣤⣤⣀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢸⣿⠀⣾⡇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣿⡇⠀⣿⡇⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠘⣿⡀⠀⠘⣿⣿⡀⠀⠀⠈⣷⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠐⠒⠾⠿⣷⣦⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣸⡏⢀⣿⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢿⡇⠀⠸⣷⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠹⣧⠀⠀⢸⣿⣷⠀⠀⠀⢻⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠐⠲⢶⣬⡙⠻⣦⠀⠀⢀⡿⠁⢸⡟⠉⠙⠓⠲⣄⠀⢸⣷⠀⠀⡇⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢹⣇⠀⠀⢻⡟⣧⠀⠀⠸⣄⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣀⣀⠀⠈⠻⢦⣄⠀⠀⣾⡇⠀⣿⡇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⢷⡀⣿⠀⠀⡇⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢿⣆⠀⠈⢷⡘⣧⠀⠀⠈⠳⣄⠀⠀⠀⠉⠉⠛⠲⣦⡀⠙⠷⠀⣿⠀⠀⣿⠶⠶⡶⠶⡶⢶⠶⢿⣿⠀⠀⡇⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⢿⣆⠀⠀⠻⣿⡷⣤⣀⠀⠈⠳⣄⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠙⠷⣄⠀⣿⠀⠀⢿⣧⣸⣧⣤⡇⢸⣆⣼⡏⠀⢀⡇⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⢿⣧⡀⠀⠈⠳⣄⠉⠓⢦⣀⠈⠻⢦⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⢷⣿⠀⠀⠘⣿⣅⠀⠈⠉⢙⣻⡟⠀⠀⣼⡇⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠙⢿⣦⡀⠀⠈⠙⠶⣤⣽⣿⣦⣄⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢿⣇⠀⠀⠈⠙⠻⠿⠿⠟⠋⠀⠀⣼⡿⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠉⠻⢷⣦⣀⠀⠀⠈⠙⠻⠿⢿⣿⣶⣶⡶⠶⠶⣤⣼⣿⣷⣄⣀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣀⣤⡾⠋⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠉⠛⠿⣶⣤⣄⡀⠀⠀⠈⠉⠙⠛⠓⠶⠶⠶⠆⠀⠉⠛⠛⢻⣾⣿⡿⠟⠋⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⠙⠿⢿⣶⣦⣄⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣶⣶⣶⡶⠟⠋⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⠉⠙⠻⢷⣶⣶⣶⣶⠾⠟⠉⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
May 2021
Text-to-Speech Playing