Jacked off in the shower while laying down in the tub -- shower water raining down from above. It was very nice and ended nicely. Later that day, I went to take a shit. Shit wouldn't come out, and I felt an odd tugging sensation between my ass cheeks. Thought I was dying and started freaking out while I tried to pinch my shit off to investigate. Turns out my jizz had found its way into my ass cheeks while laying down in the tub, mingled with all my ass hair, and solidified into a gelatinous plaster. Upon shitting, the hair was so fucked together that my cheeks couldn't separate for the shit to emerge (felt like that playdoh hair salon toy). I ended up having such a massacre of shitcum on my ass and hands that I had to get back in the shower just to clean off.
I used to be a real ad
More Copypastas
It can only be described as a Twisting Nether
twitchquotes:
I gasp in horror as Kripp pulls out his "huge gun". It can only be described as a Twisting Nether. He says "I got lethal now ". Then he topdecks Blizzard and frosts my face. I groan as he grabs my package and whispers "No sniperinos on my stream..." Then he continues to Gorehowl me.
twitch chat
Kripp
Hearthstone
UwU sentence deterioration
twitchquotes:
Imagine reading a post, but over the course of it the quality seems to deteriorate and it gets wose an wose, where the swenetence stwucture and gwammer rewerts to a pwoint of uttew non swence, an u jus dont wanna wead it anymwore (oยดฯ๏ฝo) awd twa wol owdewl iws jus awfwul (ยด๏ฝฅฯ๏ฝฅ`)
twitch chat
Weebs
Classic
This message adds zero value to your life
twitchquotes:
This message adds zero value to your life. I hope you enjoyed reading this, because I enjoyed typing it out. If you are still reading this, I would just like to tell you that you are wasting your time. If you think anything positive will come out of this final sentence, you are mistaken
twitch chat
Kripp
ACHOO uh oh you just got the Delta variant!
ACHOOโผ๏ธ๐คง๐คงWhat was thatโ๏ธโ๏ธ๐๐Uh-oh ๐ฏ looks like you just got ๐๐ the Delta variant! ๐๐๐ Donโt you know ๐บ๐ธโ๏ธ๐คข๐ค๐ค๐คค the world ๐ HOE Organization ๐๐
called it the most DOMINANT ๐๐ผ๐๐ผ strain since the start of the ๐ PANTIE-DEMIC ๐๐๐ No more touching daddy ๐ฉ๐ฉ ๐ง๐ผ until you wash ๐งฝ๐งฝyour dirty ๐พnasty ๐คข little ๐ค๐ผfingers โ๐ป๐ค๐ปโ๐ป๐ค๐ปfor 6๏ธโฃ9๏ธโฃ seconds with sHOEp ๐งผ and water ๐ง ๐
otherwise it doesnโt count ๐คก๐คก๐คก Time to stop ๐ spreading the germs ๐คฎ๐ฅด๐คand start spreading ๐งyour legs๐คค๐ฆถ๐ฝ๐ฆต๐ปbecause everyone ๐ฉโ๐ฆฐ๐จโ๐ซ๐ฆน๐พโโ๏ธ๐ง๐ผโโ๏ธhas to keep TWERKING ๐๐from home! ๐ก SEND THIS TO 1๏ธโฃ0๏ธโฃ other coronavirus cucks ๐๐พ๐๐ปotherwise Fuckboy Fauci ๐๐ is cumming for you ๐๐๐
Emoji Pasta
Coronavirus
COVID
In Japan, heart surgeon
Number one. Steady hand. One day, yakuza boss need new heart. I do operation. But mistake! Yakuza boss die! Yakuza very mad! I hide fishing boat, come to America. No English, no food, no money. Darryl give me job. Now I have house, American car and new woman. Darryl save life.
My big secret. I kill yakuza boss on purpose. I good surgeon. The best!