[Copypasta] Response to a your mom joke

I do not care what you say about my mother. Your opinion is your opinion. But trust me, if you actually attempt to do something to my mother, even though she's made some bad decisions in the past that we still need to work through, I will personally call the police on you and I'll be laughing as your mugshot is shown on TV. You don't even know her, do you? The point of your entire existence seems to be to just tease other people. Well, I believe your jokes are in bad taste, and you should cease and desist digging through the dregs left at the bottom of the joke barrel; you could get a splinter, whose pain will be significantly increased by the significantly high amount of salt you carry in your bloodstream. Thank you, and let us cease talking about each other's parents.
December 2020
I used to be a real ad
More Copypastas

When will C9 play at Worlds?

twitchquotes: Hi guys, I'm a 12 year old from Uganda. I sold my 6 kids just to be able to afford internet to watch C9 play at worlds. When will they play?
twitch chat
October 2020
Riot Games

League of Legends

And you thought there wouldn't be any bees in chat

twitchquotes: β–‘Aβ–‘nβ–‘dβ–‘ β–‘yβ–‘oβ–‘uβ–‘ β–‘tβ–‘hβ–‘oβ–‘uβ–‘gβ–‘hβ–‘tβ–‘ β–‘tβ–‘hβ–‘eβ–‘rβ–‘eβ–‘ β–‘wβ–‘oβ–‘uβ–‘lβ–‘dβ–‘nβ–‘tβ–‘ β–‘bβ–‘eβ–‘ β–‘aβ–‘nβ–‘yβ–‘ β–‘bβ–‘eβ–‘eβ–‘sβ–‘ β–‘iβ–‘nβ–‘ β–‘tβ–‘hβ–‘iβ–‘sβ–‘ β–‘cβ–‘hβ–‘aβ–‘tβ–‘ bUrself
twitch chat
May 2016
Forsen

Commonwealth of Veganism

twitchquotes: We have claimed, for Electoral Vote purposes, the Commonwealth of Veganism (which won’t allow legal meat eaters) the State of Twitch, and the State of Kripparian, each one of which has a BIG Vegan lead. Additionally, we hereby claim the State of Lettuce if, in fact, there was a large number of secretly dumped carrots as has been widely reported!
twitch chat
November 2020
Kripp

Please tell chat that you Love them

twitchquotes: Hello, Mr Morosan. We want to inform you that your channel has now been striked twice. This is due to the lack of love you give your chat. Please start telling the chat that you "Love them" or else your channel will be terminated. Thank you, Love Department at Twitch.
twitch chat
April 2018
Kripp

Hi Kripp, it's Jarl Balgruuf the Greater

twitchquotes: Hi Kripp it's Jarl Balgruuf the Greater. I heard you are trying to play other games when we need you here at Skyrim to clean up the dragons. Quit what you are doing right now and come join me as the new Whiterun Thane. My axe is ready as your reward.
twitch chat
January 2015
Kripp
Text-to-Speech Playing