[Copypasta] Response to a your mom joke

I do not care what you say about my mother. Your opinion is your opinion. But trust me, if you actually attempt to do something to my mother, even though she's made some bad decisions in the past that we still need to work through, I will personally call the police on you and I'll be laughing as your mugshot is shown on TV. You don't even know her, do you? The point of your entire existence seems to be to just tease other people. Well, I believe your jokes are in bad taste, and you should cease and desist digging through the dregs left at the bottom of the joke barrel; you could get a splinter, whose pain will be significantly increased by the significantly high amount of salt you carry in your bloodstream. Thank you, and let us cease talking about each other's parents.
December 2020
I used to be a real ad
More Copypastas

Please take this seriously

twitchquotes: Chat please don't copy pasta my serious question. I'm trying to engage with our streamer to learn more about Hearthstone gameplay. Please take this seriously.
twitch chat
November 2014
Forsen

Kripp suffers from Casualitis

twitchquotes: Romanian doctor say in thick accent, "He suffer from Casualitis, too many salts in blood." OJ is injected into the Kripp, but he continues to mumble "Really bro," and "Wow," numerous times. A priest enters and rips a bag of pepperonis over the Kripp. Papparin say "Drink with me friends," and offer cappucino to all.
twitch chat
September 2014
Kripp

You better wear the TSM T-Shirt

twitchquotes: Hello TSM_Kripp, TSM manager here. We can see that you aren't wearing our TSM T-shirt. Remember that it is a vital part of our contract. If you want the fuckmaster-vol7ron you better wear the damn shirt.
twitch chat
January 2015
Kripp

Scary Reddit alien

⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡯⠄⢀⣄⣤⣀⡀⠄⢼⣿⣿⡄⠄⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠂⠄⣾⣿⣿⣿⣷⡀⠉⠙⠉⠄⣠⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠿⠿⠛⠛⠋⠄⠘⠛⠻⠿⢿⣿⣿⣷⣤⣴⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⠿⠛⠉⠉⠛⠛⠉⢀⣀⣤⣤⣦⣶⣶⣶⣶⣴⣤⣤⣀⡀⠉⠛⠛⠉⠉⠙⠻⣿ ⡏⠄⣴⣾⠓⢀⣴⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣦⡀⠹⣿⣦⠄⠈ ⡇⠐⢿⠁⣼⣿⣿⣿⣿⠫⠩⡙⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⢋⠍⡛⣿⣿⣿⣿⣦⠈⡿⠃⠄ ⣿⡄⠄⣸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣗⣅⣵⣔⣸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣇⣢⣑⣐⣽⣿⣿⣿⣿⡇⠄⢠⣾ ⣿⡇⠄⢺⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⣻⣿⢿⠿⠿⠿⠿⣿⣿⣿⡿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡏⠄⢸⣿ ⣿⣿⡄⠄⠝⣞⠯⣟⡿⣼⠫⡶⠸⠖⠃⠛⠢⠆⠖⢭⢫⣾⣻⣝⢷⠛⠄⢠⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣆⡀⠈⠫⡫⡟⣿⡂⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⣰⣯⣟⢗⠝⠁⠄⣠⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣦⣄⡀⠈⢫⣿⡀⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢀⢸⣿⡳⠅⠁⣀⣴⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣆⠄⠓⣿⡤⡘⠰⠰⢘⣠⣿⠇⠅⠠⣸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣶⢀⠑⠝⢽⣙⣘⠵⠏⠃⡀⢡⣴⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣶⡤⣀⣀⣀⣀⣠⣴⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿
April 2021

Ben Shapiro goes to the movie theatre

let's say, hypothetically, that i went to the movie theater, and the movie i was watching happened to be three hours long. for the sake of the argument, i am about halfway through watching the movie, and i have to go to the bathroom. based on what's happening on screen, i can determine that an important scene is coming up, and that i need to see it if i want to understand the plot. what's stopping me from pissing in the drink cup they gave me for my dr. pepper? if i can do it quietly enough, no one is going to be able to notice what i'm doing, and, in my honest opinion, pissing in the drink cup is a much better alternative to using the bathroom, since i would've missed an important plot point had i chosen to do so. lastly, no one would have to clean it up afterwards, since it's all contained within the drink cup, which is meant to be disposed of after the movie anyways, and, as a result, will not affect the theater staff in any way whatsoever.
December 2020

Ben Shapiro

Text-to-Speech Playing