[Copypasta] So you call these things "chips"?

So you call these things "chips"? Instead of crispity crunchy munchie crackerjack snacker nibbler snap crack n pop westpoolchestershireshire queen's lovely jubily delights? That’s rather bit cringe, innit bruv
December 2020
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So I’m an AMC shareholder

So I’m an AMC shareholder, which means I own some of the business. Because the stock kept getting halted today I decided to go to my local AMC and support the stock by buying some concessions. I went up to the stand and told the casher (his nametag said Melvin) that I was a shareholder and wanted to support the business. He looked excited and told me to close my eyes and hold out my hand for a surprise shareholder treat. I can’t believe it, but he just covered my hands in liquid butter! Now I’m typing this at home and cant get it off my hands, and my keyboard is all greasy typing this, What do I do?
January 2021

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Spongebob, you are my new sex toy

August 2021

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I wore a mask at Target today

I wore a mask at Target today. Three of my lungs collapsed as I got carbon monoxide poisoning from breathing in my own bacteria. A brave patriot wearing an Affliction shirt, a MAGA hat, and sweet wrap around sunglasses saved me by giving me CPR. I thanked him and asked if he was a doctor and he said "who needs doctors when we have our fellow Americans, the ones who are here legally I mean." I hugged him and threw my mask on the ground. The Star Spangled Banner played on the speaker system as everyone in the store ripped off their masks and threw them on the ground, chanting "down with communism!" God, Jesus, and all the angels looked down upon us from Heaven and clapped.
June 2020

Coronavirus

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Obey the call of Kel'Thuzad!

twitchquotes: ᕙ༼ຈل͜ຈ༽ᕗ Minions, servants, soldiers of the cold dark, obey the call of Kel’Thuzad!ᕙ༼ຈل͜ຈ༽ᕗ
twitch chat
November 2014
Kripp

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Fix abortion ban with NFT trading

Dear women, The United States will soon ban abortion country wide. So, how will you get one now? Simple. Fly to Canada. "But how will I get the money to fly there?" This is where NFTs come in. I am going to give a step by step process on how to afford a plane ticket with NFT Trading.
July 2022

NFTs

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