[Copypasta] I hate gaming laptops

Today when I walked into my economics class I saw something I dread every time I close my eyes. Someone had brought their new gaming laptop to class. The Forklift he used to bring it was still running idle at the back. I started sweating as I sat down and gazed over at the 700lb beast that was his laptop. He had already reinforced his desk with steel support beams and was in the process of finding an outlet for a power cable thicker than Amy Schumer's thigh. I start shaking. I keep telling myself I'm going to be alright and that there's nothing to worry about. He somehow finds a fucking outlet. Tears are running down my cheeks as I send my last texts to my family saying I love them. The teacher starts the lecture, and the student turns his laptop on. The colored lights on his RGB Backlit keyboard flare to life like a nuclear flash, and a deep humming fills my ears and shakes my very soul. The entire city power grid goes dark. The classroom begins to shake as the massive fans begin to spin. In mere seconds my world has gone from vibrant life, to a dark, earth shattering void where my body is getting torn apart by the 150mph gale force winds and the 500 decibel groan of the cooling fans. As my body finally surrenders, I weep, as my school and my city go under. I fucking hate gaming laptops.
December 2020
I used to be a real ad
More Copypastas

Trolling My Church with Among Us

So today at church the pastor was preaching about the crucifixion of Jesus and when he said that Judas would betray Jesus, I blurted out "JUDAS IS THE IMPOSTER! HE'S SUS!" and did a big wide grin (like the "when the imposter is sus" meme). The pastor then said "What are you talking about?" So I yelled "EMERGENCY MEETING! HE DOESN'T GET THE AMONG US REFERENCE!" and then I explained the joke. The pastor, not amused, told me to sit down. I sat back down but then later when he said that Jesus was accused of blasphemy and crucified I couldn't contain myself and I yelled out "JESUS WAS NOT THE IMPOSTER!" and when the pastor told me to stop disrupting I said "THE PASTOR IS SUS, HE DOESN'T GET IT" and I then told everyone to download Reddit for funny Among Us memes. That's when the pastor told me to leave for causing disruptions. I said "WAIT! I'M NOT SUS THOUGH! WHY ARE YOU EJECTING ME?" and then I said "WHEN THE PASTOR IS SUS!" And did the hilarious grin from the meme. After that I got kicked out but it was worth it because I just trolled them all with Among Us.
March 2021

Trolling with Among Us

Among Us / Amogus

It seems you tathered Frump

twitchquotes: Finally, the Kripp thinks, he will be a Papparrian. "I will raise it perfectly, there'll be nothing he can't do it. What a gift!" But doctor says he has bad news. Kripp is scared. He follows. Rania is holding something covered in blankets and crying. Kripp removes the blanket and looks. Trump smirks, "It seems you tathered Frump."
twitch chat
February 2015
Kripp

John Xina needs your credit card info

🚨🚨CALLING ALL TENCENT GAMERS🚨🚨 JOHN XINA 🇨🇳🍦LOST HIS SOCIAL CREDIT 🤯 🤭AND NEEDS YOUR HELP TO GET IT BACK 👍👍🇨🇳 ALL HE NEEDS IS THE 1️⃣2️⃣ DIGITS ON YOUR SOCIAL CREDIT CARD 💳 ALONG WITH THE EXPIRATION DATE 📅 AND THOSE 3️⃣ WACKY DIGITS ON THE BACK 🇨🇳🇨🇳🇨🇳🍦
November 2021

forsenScoots

⠄⠄⠄⣸⠃⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢀⠼⠟⠛⠿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣶⣦⣄⠄ ⠄⠄⣰⠇⠄⠄⠄⠄⣀⣠⣥⣤⣀⣀⣀⠈⠛⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷ ⠄⠄⠘⠄⠄⠄⠄⠐⠛⠛⠛⣛⣛⠛⠛⠿⣶⣶⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⣴⣶⡆⠄⠄⠉⠙⠛⢿⣆⠄⠈⢻⣿⣿⣿⣿⠿⠛⠛⠿⠿⣿⣿⣿ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⣰⣿⣿⣄⠐⢾⣧⠄⣀⣤⠙⠄⠄⠄⣿⣿⣿⣿⣦⣤⣄⠄⠄⠄⠙⣿ ⠄⠄⠄⢠⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣤⣭⣙⣫⣭⣤⠄⠄⣰⣿⣿⣿⠛⠛⠛⠛⠛⣿⣦⡀⠘ ⠄⠄⠄⢸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠟⠁⠄⣰⣿⣿⣿⠃⠄⠄⠙⠛⢷⡈⢻⣷⠄ ⢀⣠⣄⣸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠟⢉⠄⠄⣠⣿⣿⣿⣿⣆⠺⣇⠄⢀⣠⢻⡄⣿⣿ ⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠟⢉⣾⣿⠄⢾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣦⡈⠉⠉⠉⣠⣿⣿⣿ ⠈⢻⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠿⠷⠦⠈⠉⠄⠄⠈⠛⠛⠻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣶⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿ ⠄⣠⣿⣿⠟⠋⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⣠⡾⠿⢷⣄⡹⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡟⠁ ⠄⢉⣿⡏⢀⡀⠄⠄⢀⠄⠄⣶⣦⣌⠄⠄⠄⢹⣿⠈⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡟⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠉⠁⢸⣿⣧⣄⡉⠛⠿⣬⣛⠛⠛⠂⠄⠄⢻⣷⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠏⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢨⣿⡿⠋⠄⠄⠄⠈⠛⠷⢦⡁⠄⢸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⢠⡴⠟⠉⢀⣤⣶⣶⠄⢻⣶⣿⣶⡆⠄⢸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡟⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄
November 2021
Forsen

Emote

Warrior vs Warrior ResidentSleeper

twitchquotes: See Kripp streaming PogChamp , see Kripp playing constructed Kappa , See it's Warrior vs Warrior ResidentSleeper
twitch chat
August 2015
Kripp

Hearthstone

Text-to-Speech Playing