[Copypasta] I hate gaming laptops

Today when I walked into my economics class I saw something I dread every time I close my eyes. Someone had brought their new gaming laptop to class. The Forklift he used to bring it was still running idle at the back. I started sweating as I sat down and gazed over at the 700lb beast that was his laptop. He had already reinforced his desk with steel support beams and was in the process of finding an outlet for a power cable thicker than Amy Schumer's thigh. I start shaking. I keep telling myself I'm going to be alright and that there's nothing to worry about. He somehow finds a fucking outlet. Tears are running down my cheeks as I send my last texts to my family saying I love them. The teacher starts the lecture, and the student turns his laptop on. The colored lights on his RGB Backlit keyboard flare to life like a nuclear flash, and a deep humming fills my ears and shakes my very soul. The entire city power grid goes dark. The classroom begins to shake as the massive fans begin to spin. In mere seconds my world has gone from vibrant life, to a dark, earth shattering void where my body is getting torn apart by the 150mph gale force winds and the 500 decibel groan of the cooling fans. As my body finally surrenders, I weep, as my school and my city go under. I fucking hate gaming laptops.
December 2020
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Giving due respect to the chat moderators

twitchquotes: Hey mods I just wanted to congratulate you all and give proper respect for keeping our chats safe from the evils of Twitch, the spammers, and sexual predators. Without you and your methods, which have no affiliation to the leading German political party within the time frame of World War 2, we would not be able to enjoy a fun, clean environment in which we can enrich ourselves with game knowledge and truly become one as a great family for the greater good of internet chatrooms. Again, I would like to say you have done a wonderful job and hope to see you all keep up the great work.
twitch chat
December 2014

MODS

Classic

chat will copy and paste any long paragraph

twitchquotes: i love [streamer name] so much. he goes live everyday and is full of energy. im not even gonna type anything that makes sense cause chat will copy and paste it anyways. the proof to my theory will be present if chat gets filled with this paragraph
twitch chat
October 2020

Nazi doge

โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘ โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–„โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–„ โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–Œโ–’โ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–„โ–€โ–’โ–Œ โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–Œโ–’โ–’โ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–„โ–€โ–’โ–’โ–’โ– โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–โ–„โ–€โ–’โ–’โ–€โ–€โ–€โ–€โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–€โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ– โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–„โ–„โ–€โ–’โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–‘โ–ˆโ–€โ–€โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–ˆโ–’โ–’โ–„โ–ˆโ–’โ– โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–„โ–€โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–€โ–€โ–ˆโ–€โ–ˆโ–‘โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–€โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–€โ–’โ–Œ โ–‘โ–‘โ–โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–„โ–„โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–€โ–€โ–€โ–‘โ–€โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–€โ–„โ–’โ–’โ–Œ โ–‘โ–‘โ–Œโ–‘โ–‘โ–Œโ–ˆโ–€โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–€โ–€โ–€โ–€โ–€โ–€โ–€โ–ˆโ–’โ– โ–‘โ–โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–’โ–’โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–€โ–„โ–Œ โ–‘โ–Œโ–‘โ–’โ–„โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–„โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–Œ โ–€โ–’โ–€โ–โ–„โ–ˆโ–„โ–ˆโ–Œโ–„โ–‘โ–€โ–’โ–’โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–’โ–’โ–’
ascii art
November 2014

Steve Yuen "You Are Gay"

Have you even been walking down the street with your best bro, and while you're walking you accidentally touch hands. You think to yourself, "that was weird, but, I'm not gay". You are. You are gay.
June 2021

I hate myself and my life

twitchquotes: I hate myself and my life, but instead of improving either of those things, I'm drinking alone while watching a rich, balding vegan play children's card games for 15 thousand other losers FeelsBadMan
twitch chat
July 2018
Kripp

Hearthstone

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