[Copypasta] I hate gaming laptops

Today when I walked into my economics class I saw something I dread every time I close my eyes. Someone had brought their new gaming laptop to class. The Forklift he used to bring it was still running idle at the back. I started sweating as I sat down and gazed over at the 700lb beast that was his laptop. He had already reinforced his desk with steel support beams and was in the process of finding an outlet for a power cable thicker than Amy Schumer's thigh. I start shaking. I keep telling myself I'm going to be alright and that there's nothing to worry about. He somehow finds a fucking outlet. Tears are running down my cheeks as I send my last texts to my family saying I love them. The teacher starts the lecture, and the student turns his laptop on. The colored lights on his RGB Backlit keyboard flare to life like a nuclear flash, and a deep humming fills my ears and shakes my very soul. The entire city power grid goes dark. The classroom begins to shake as the massive fans begin to spin. In mere seconds my world has gone from vibrant life, to a dark, earth shattering void where my body is getting torn apart by the 150mph gale force winds and the 500 decibel groan of the cooling fans. As my body finally surrenders, I weep, as my school and my city go under. I fucking hate gaming laptops.
December 2020
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For the blind, it is light

twitchquotes: Who is [streamer name]? 🤔 For the blind, 🦇 it is light. 💡 For the hungry 😣 , it is bread. 🍞 For the sick, 💉 it is the cure. ⚕️ For the sad 😢 , it is joy. 😂 For the poor 🚫💰 , it is the treasure; 💰 ⛏️ for the debtor ➖ 💰 , it is forgiveness. 🙏 For the face 😶 , it is the lips 👄
twitch chat
October 2021

Yo Mama guy

⠀⣴⠋⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⡧⠀⠀⠀ ⢸⡇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣾⣁⠀⠀⠀ ⠈⠣⢴⡖⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢰⣤⣤⠶⣏⣠⡤⠀⣀⠀⣀⠀⠀⣠⡄⠀⠀⢀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠉⠀⠉⠻⡦⠀ ⠀⣰⡏⢀⡀⠀⢠⡄⠀⢀⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢸⠇⠀⠀⠉⠉⠛⠾⠿⡤⠟⠛⠛⠛⠳⠶⠺⣿⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠠⣤⠤⠴⠃⠀ ⠀⢾⣤⣿⢀⡀⢸⡀⣠⣿⡇⠀⡀⠀⢠⡟⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢞⣋⢉⡛⢦⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠙⠛⣯⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠘⠻⣾⠁⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠁⠉⡿⠀⠈⠉⣿⠘⠧⠼⠳⠶⠋⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣴⠟⠉⠁⠀⠁⠑⢷⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⡰⠋⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣠⣤⢤⣄⠚⢻⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠠⣇⣴⠄⠀⢻⠀⣀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠄⠠⡾⠃⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⢷⠀⢢⡆⠀⠰⠶⡶⠀⠀⠀⣾⠋⠀⡀⢻⣧⠛⠛⣦⡀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠉⢿⣰⣇⢸⣇⡭⣑⡄⠀⠃⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣀⣀⣀⣀⡈⠀⠀⠁⠀⠀⠀⠙⣿⠁⢸⠇⠀⣼⣿⠀⢻⡂⠀⢸⡇⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⠁⠈⢹⠋⠀⠈⠻⡄⠰⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢠⡴⠒⠉⣉⣉⣉⣉⣹⣦⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⠹⣸⠀⢠⣿⣿⡇⢸⡇⠀⠿⣄⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢸⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢏⣡⠔⠋⠉⠉⠀⠀⠈⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠹⡆⢸⣿⣿⡇⣸⠇⠀⠀⢸⡇ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⠳⣶⠂⠉⣙⣻⣿⠀⠀⠀⠀⠘⠷⠶⠶⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠇⠀⠛⢹⡇⣿⠀⢠⣤⠞⠁ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠱⣤⡞⠁⠀⠹⣆⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣠⠄⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⡤⠶⢮⣸⠏⠀⢀⡹⠂⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠻⣅⠀⠀⠀⢹⣆⠀⠀⢠⣤⡀⠀⠀⠈⠛⠿⠶⠶⠾⠛⠁⠀⠀⠀⣤⠀⠀⠸⣇⣀⣼⢡⣤⣤⠵⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠙⠷⣄⠀⠀⢿⡆⠀⢠⡿⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢹⡄⢸⡇⠀⠀⠈⣿⣶⣼⣿⣿⣄⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⢻⣆⠈⢷⠀⣾⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣠⡾⠁⣸⡿⠘⣷⣄⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣧⣀⣠ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣽⡆⠈⠛⢁⣀⢀⣀⣀⣀⣀⣀⣤⣤⡴⠖⠛⠉⠀⣴⠟⠁⠀⣷⠙⠛⠿⢿⣿⡿⠿⠟⠋⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠻⣥⣿⣶⠛⠋⠉⠉⢉⣩⡭⠿⠟⠋⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠸⠀⠀⠀⠀⣘⣧⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣿⠏⠑⡶⠖⢻⠏⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣿⠈⢧⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣿⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣸⠇⠀⠈⢷⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⠙⡗⠒⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣴⠃⠀⠀⠀⢸⡇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣸⡇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⡾⠏⠀⠀⠀⠀⢨⡇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣀⣠⠴⠞⠋⢹⡄⠀⠀⠀⢇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣀⣤⡴⠋⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢸⠃⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣀⡤⠖⠋⠉⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠳⣄⠀⠀⢈⣁⣀⣤⡤⢴⣶⠿⠛⠋⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⡏⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣴⣾⣯⣥⣤⠤⢤⣤⣀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⠉⠉⠉⠉⠀⠀⠀⠀⢿⡄⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⡾⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠉⠙⠳⢤⣀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣼⣧⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣼⠃⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
September 2021

I hate that guy's emotes so much

twitchquotes: I hate that guy's emotes so much. They all look like some 6 year old made them in MS Paint, and I'm not talking about the purposefully bad ones. And all they do is portray emotions already done by the default emotes; The best custom emotes are ones that do things you can't easily do with the defaults. And the insufferable people who use those emotes find any reason to use any of them, even if they're not related, because they're that proud of a 4.99 purchase. I'd rather sub to a guy I liked watc
twitch chat
September 2017
MOONMOON

Our most powerful technique - Submode

twitchquotes: "You are Anakin no longer, but Darth Vader. Rise my young apprentince," says Palpatine to the new Darth Vader. "My master, can you teach me how to resurrect the dead through the force?" asks Vader. Trump smirks, "In time, my apprentice, but first you must learn our most powerful technique - Sub Mode."
twitch chat
April 2015
Trump

Mayan donger predictions

twitchquotes: 乁₪((☼Ữ☼))₪ㄏ Mayan donger predicts the end of the world will be upon us when dongers stop raising.
twitch chat
November 2014
Forsen
Text-to-Speech Playing