[Copypasta] I hate gaming laptops

Today when I walked into my economics class I saw something I dread every time I close my eyes. Someone had brought their new gaming laptop to class. The Forklift he used to bring it was still running idle at the back. I started sweating as I sat down and gazed over at the 700lb beast that was his laptop. He had already reinforced his desk with steel support beams and was in the process of finding an outlet for a power cable thicker than Amy Schumer's thigh. I start shaking. I keep telling myself I'm going to be alright and that there's nothing to worry about. He somehow finds a fucking outlet. Tears are running down my cheeks as I send my last texts to my family saying I love them. The teacher starts the lecture, and the student turns his laptop on. The colored lights on his RGB Backlit keyboard flare to life like a nuclear flash, and a deep humming fills my ears and shakes my very soul. The entire city power grid goes dark. The classroom begins to shake as the massive fans begin to spin. In mere seconds my world has gone from vibrant life, to a dark, earth shattering void where my body is getting torn apart by the 150mph gale force winds and the 500 decibel groan of the cooling fans. As my body finally surrenders, I weep, as my school and my city go under. I fucking hate gaming laptops.
December 2020
I used to be a real ad
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MLK day emojipasta

heyyy 👋 Marthin Luther QUEENS 👯‍♀️ i have a dream 😴 🛌 that you will be dicked 🍆 down ⬇️ tonight like DADDY 👨🏿‍🦳 Martin Luther King Jr. would have wanted 😌✊🏿 so MARCH 🚶‍♀️ on down ⬇️ to his washington monument 🇺🇸 and have a SIT IN 🧎‍♀️ on that DICK 🍆🍆 Make sure to ABOLISH his KKKOCK 🗽 like a TRUE PATRIOT 🗽 segregate those cheeks 🍑 tonight it doesn’t matter 🙅‍♀️ if his fountain 🍆💦 is BLACK or WHITE 🤝 we are all CUMRADES 💦💦 in the fight against discrimination 😍 SOAK those PANTIFA 🩲 our TWERK is not over ‼️ SEND this 📤 to ✌️ every WOKE HOE 🤯 you know 🆘 Get 2️⃣0️⃣ BACK to END racism ✊ and UNITE the races in SEXUAL 👉👌 HARMONY ☮️
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Emoji Pasta

Holiday Emoji

MLK Day

we don't operate on empty jars of spaghetti sauce

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February 2021

Classic

Sleeping in bed with your parents

twitchquotes: Question for those in chat: Let's say you are sleeping in bed with your parents. You are in the middle. You wake up and want to get up, but you notice that you are partially inserted into your mom and your dad is partially inserted into you and they are still asleep. Which way do you thrust to get out?
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Our Greatest Gratitude for Your Invaluable Advice

twitchquotes: On behalf of the streamer and whole chat I would like to extend our greatest gratitude for your invaluable advice for this hardstuck challenger player, since he is never able to make proper itemization choices on his own! Your participation in making this channel and streamers game better, will never be forgotten!
twitch chat
May 2022

League of Legends

Monkey D. Luffy

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May 2022

One Piece

Text-to-Speech Playing