[Copypasta] I hate gaming laptops

Today when I walked into my economics class I saw something I dread every time I close my eyes. Someone had brought their new gaming laptop to class. The Forklift he used to bring it was still running idle at the back. I started sweating as I sat down and gazed over at the 700lb beast that was his laptop. He had already reinforced his desk with steel support beams and was in the process of finding an outlet for a power cable thicker than Amy Schumer's thigh. I start shaking. I keep telling myself I'm going to be alright and that there's nothing to worry about. He somehow finds a fucking outlet. Tears are running down my cheeks as I send my last texts to my family saying I love them. The teacher starts the lecture, and the student turns his laptop on. The colored lights on his RGB Backlit keyboard flare to life like a nuclear flash, and a deep humming fills my ears and shakes my very soul. The entire city power grid goes dark. The classroom begins to shake as the massive fans begin to spin. In mere seconds my world has gone from vibrant life, to a dark, earth shattering void where my body is getting torn apart by the 150mph gale force winds and the 500 decibel groan of the cooling fans. As my body finally surrenders, I weep, as my school and my city go under. I fucking hate gaming laptops.
December 2020
What happened to this ad? :(
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Kripp's mods put Stalin to shame

twitchquotes: โ˜ญ โ˜ญ โ˜ญ โ˜ญ Nแดsแด›ส€แดแด สแด€ Kส€ษชแด˜แด˜, Tสœษชs ษชs Cแดแดส€แด€แด…แด‡ Sแด›แด€สŸษชษด แด„แด€สŸสŸษชษดษข า“ส€แดแด 1952. I แด›สœแดแดœษขสœแด› I แดกแด€s แด…แดษชษดษข แดกแด‡สŸสŸ แดกษชแด›สœ แดส Gส€แด‡แด€แด› Pแดœส€ษขแด‡, ส™แดœแด› สแดแดœส€ แดแดแด…s แด˜แดœแด› แดแด‡ แด›แด sสœแด€แดแด‡. I'แด… สŸษชแด‹แด‡ แด›แด ส€แด‡แด„ส€แดœษชแด› แด›สœแด‡แด แด›แด ส€แดœษด แดส ษขแดœสŸแด€ษขs. Bแด‡แด›แด›แด‡ส€ Rแด‡แด… แด›สœแด€ษด Dแด‡แด€แด… โ˜ญ โ˜ญโ˜ญ โ˜ญ
twitch chat
June 2014
Kripp

AMONGUS AMONGUS AMONGUS

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Among Us / Amogus

Emoji Pasta

You think this takes concentration?

twitchquotes: You think this takes concentration? Try healing in World of Warcraft after someone in the group just feared the entire room and the stupid death knight has stolen all the aggro from the tank, all whilst trying to reach deep into the bag for the extra cheesy dorritos. Now THAT is a skill.
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I sexually identify as Ninja Fortnite Gaming

I sexually identify as Ninja Fortnite Gaming. Ever since I was young, I've dreamed of understanding "the pain of being famous", and producing shitty keyboards. People say to me that he was only popular in 2017, but I disagree. He will always have a special place in my heart. From a young age, I knew I was different. Dying my hair blue, being overly cocky, and stealing others' identities were just a few of my favorite childhood pastimes. I'm just not like other guys. From now on, I want you guys to call me Ninja Fortnite Gaming (Tyler Blevins is not acceptable). My pronouns are fort/nite. If you don't use or respect them you're a gamephobe griefer and need to try out his new skin and Gfuel flavor Chug Jug to become more culturally sensitive. Use code NINJAYT for 30% off your order today. Thank you for being understanding.
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twitchquotes: Dear Mister-I'm-Too-Good-To-Bro-Fist-All-My-Subs, this'll be the last pasta I ever send your ***. It's been six months and still no word - I don't deserve it? I know you got my last two pastas; I wrote the Kappas on 'em perfect. I'm in the chat right now, spamming penises in r9k. Hey Kripp, I drank a fifth of OJ, you dare me to riot?
twitch chat
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Kripp
Text-to-Speech Playing