[Copypasta] I hate gaming laptops

Today when I walked into my economics class I saw something I dread every time I close my eyes. Someone had brought their new gaming laptop to class. The Forklift he used to bring it was still running idle at the back. I started sweating as I sat down and gazed over at the 700lb beast that was his laptop. He had already reinforced his desk with steel support beams and was in the process of finding an outlet for a power cable thicker than Amy Schumer's thigh. I start shaking. I keep telling myself I'm going to be alright and that there's nothing to worry about. He somehow finds a fucking outlet. Tears are running down my cheeks as I send my last texts to my family saying I love them. The teacher starts the lecture, and the student turns his laptop on. The colored lights on his RGB Backlit keyboard flare to life like a nuclear flash, and a deep humming fills my ears and shakes my very soul. The entire city power grid goes dark. The classroom begins to shake as the massive fans begin to spin. In mere seconds my world has gone from vibrant life, to a dark, earth shattering void where my body is getting torn apart by the 150mph gale force winds and the 500 decibel groan of the cooling fans. As my body finally surrenders, I weep, as my school and my city go under. I fucking hate gaming laptops.
December 2020
I used to be a real ad
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Seven flamestrikes is not a FREE TO PLAY deck

twitchquotes: Kripp, how can you even PRETEND that you are playing with a FREE TO PLAY deck when yours has seven flamestrikes? I thought this stream was newbie friendly, well apparently I was mistaken. For the sake of ***. Unsubbed, unfollowed and unremembered. Bye, Kripp.
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Kripp

xqcSad

⣿⣻⣿⣿⣿⣿⠟⠉⠉⠉⠛⠛⠛⠿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠟⠉⢁⣀⡀⠀⠀ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣶⣤⣄⣈⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣟⣡⣶⣿⣿⣿⡇⠀⠀ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠿⠿⣿⣿⠿⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡟⠿⢿⣿⠿⢿⡟⠃⠀⠀ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣦⣤⣤⣤⣤⣤⣶⣦⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⡤⣤⣤⣤⣤⣴⠀⠀⠀ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡇⠀⠀ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡟⠁⠀⠀ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠛⠛⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠀⠀⠀ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡁⣰⣶⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡏⠀⠀⠀ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣤⣌⣹⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠁⠀⠀⠀ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣾⣿⣿⡿⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠿⢿⣿⣿⣿⠇⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⢿⣿⠀⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠋⠉⢉⠉⣉⠙⠛⠛⠛⣁⡄⠀⠙⣿⣿⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠙⠆⠸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣶⣤⣤⣤⣤⣤⣤⣤⣝⣧⣴⣶⣿⣿⡏⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠹⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⢄⠘⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
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xQcOW

if you go to walmart at 3 AM naked, and scream "AMONG US SUS"

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June 2021

Among Us / Amogus

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twitchquotes: Hot tip: When someone yells pickpocket start searching for your wallet in the groin area and exclaim 'Thank God my wallet is safely tucked between my testicles'. The pickpocket will see this and assume that the wallet is there. These people usually have very supple and delicate hands so when they try to take your wallet you will instead get a pleasant fondling to your genital area.
twitch chat
January 2019

Classic

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twitchquotes: Meanwhile in Kripp's mouth ~•     ~•        ~•       ~•    ~•    ~•      ~•    ~•         ~• ~•     ~•      ~•    ~•    ~•     ~•      ~•    ~•         ~•      ~•      ~•     ~•        ~•
twitch chat
November 2014
Kripp
Text-to-Speech Playing