[Copypasta] I hate gaming laptops

Today when I walked into my economics class I saw something I dread every time I close my eyes. Someone had brought their new gaming laptop to class. The Forklift he used to bring it was still running idle at the back. I started sweating as I sat down and gazed over at the 700lb beast that was his laptop. He had already reinforced his desk with steel support beams and was in the process of finding an outlet for a power cable thicker than Amy Schumer's thigh. I start shaking. I keep telling myself I'm going to be alright and that there's nothing to worry about. He somehow finds a fucking outlet. Tears are running down my cheeks as I send my last texts to my family saying I love them. The teacher starts the lecture, and the student turns his laptop on. The colored lights on his RGB Backlit keyboard flare to life like a nuclear flash, and a deep humming fills my ears and shakes my very soul. The entire city power grid goes dark. The classroom begins to shake as the massive fans begin to spin. In mere seconds my world has gone from vibrant life, to a dark, earth shattering void where my body is getting torn apart by the 150mph gale force winds and the 500 decibel groan of the cooling fans. As my body finally surrenders, I weep, as my school and my city go under. I fucking hate gaming laptops.
December 2020
(β–€ΜΏΔΉΜ―β”œβ”¬β”΄β”¬β”΄ Psst... kid, you wanna disable adblock?
More Copypastas

I fucking hate the word poggers

I fucking hate the word poggers. It's not funny, it's not quirky, it's stupid. It's just an Asian man going gasp!. It is not funny and I do not enjoy looking at it. Whenever someone says poggers out loud I'm just like "I get it you use fucking twitch.
December 2020

How to prank your school principle

Step 1: Go to his office Step 2: distract him Step 3: Put a fish on his desk Step 4: He'll laugh at it and say "Who put this fish on my desk" Step 5: Break his kneecaps
June 2021

Y U NO

β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘ β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–„β–„β–„β–ˆβ–€β–€β–€β–€β–€β–€β–„β–„β–„β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘ β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–„β–ˆβ–€β–€β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–€β–€β–ˆβ–„β–„β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘ β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–„β–ˆβ–€β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–„β–„β–„β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–„β–€β–ˆβ–„β–‘β–‘β–‘ β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–€β–€β–„β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–„β–€β–€β–‘β–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–„β–‘ β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–„β–ˆβ–€β–€β–€β–ˆβ–„β–‘β–„β–ˆβ–€β–€β–€β–ˆβ–„β–‘β–€β–„ β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–ˆβ–‘β–€β–‘β–ˆβ–ˆβ–‘β–ˆβ–ˆβ–‘β–€β–‘β–ˆβ–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–ˆ β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–€β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–€β–‘β–€β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–€β–‘β–‘β–ˆ β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–„β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–ˆ β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–ˆβ–€β–€β–€β–€β–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–ˆ β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–‘β–„β–€β–„β–„β–„β–€β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–ˆ β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–„β–ˆβ–€β–€β–€β–€β–„β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–ˆ β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–„β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–„β–ˆβ–„β–ˆβ–„β–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–ˆ β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–„β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–„β–€β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–€β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–„β–€ β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–„β–ˆβ–„β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–„β–ˆβ–€β–‘ β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–„β–ˆβ–€β–„β–‘β–‘β–€β–„β–„β–‘β–‘β–„β–„β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–€β–€β–€β–„β–„β–€β–€β–‘β–‘β–‘ β–‘β–‘β–„β–ˆβ–€β–‘β–‘β–‘β–€β–„β–‘β–‘β–‘β–€β–€β–€β–ˆβ–ˆβ–„β–„β–„β–„β–„β–„β–ˆβ–€β–€β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–„β–„β–‘ β–„β–€β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–„β–ˆβ–€β–„β–‘β–„β–„β–„β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–€β–ˆβ–ˆβ–€ β–€β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–„β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–„β–ˆβ–„β–„β–„β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–„β–„β–„β–€β–€β–‘β–‘ β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–€β–€β–€β–ˆβ–€β–€β–€β–€β–€β–‘β–€β–ˆβ–ˆβ–€β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘ β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–„β–€β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘
December 2020

copy: pastad

gamer head: on knuckles: cracked gaming goggles: on arms: stretched gamer girl pee: drinked girlfriend: none gay best friend: invited wife: beaten wife: cheated on daughter: abandoned child: destroyed your mom: fucked rockets: launched funding: secured anime: loved Japan: nuked HIV: positive blood: donated American genocide: denied milf: hunted milfs: lewded babies: yeeted emerald splash: deflated society: segregated Israel: destroyed heroin: shot milk: consumed mother: donuted father: robbed identity: hidden traitor: kakyoined Italian drug trade: monopolized masters: awaken Caeser: killed left wing: destroyed lib: owned hog: cranked pants: shid bottom: text top: text Hotel: Trivago Hotel: Mario Duke: Nukem cer: armic balls: crushed balls: ligma the imposter: sus sussy: balls Gucci: gang Delivery: Digiorno Peterbilt: gassed Half: life pog: gers Vaporeon: cool :) edit: spelling
August 2021

Why is your cat at school today Kripp?

twitchquotes: The teacher asked Kripp, "Why is your cat at school today Kripp?" Kripp replied crying, "Because I heard my daddy tell my mommy, 'I am going to eat that p*ssy once Kripp leaves for school today!'
twitch chat
October 2014
Kripp
Text-to-Speech Playing