Today when I walked into my economics class I saw something I dread every time I close my eyes. Someone had brought their new gaming laptop to class. The Forklift he used to bring it was still running idle at the back. I started sweating as I sat down and gazed over at the 700lb beast that was his laptop. He had already reinforced his desk with steel support beams and was in the process of finding an outlet for a power cable thicker than Amy Schumer's thigh. I start shaking. I keep telling myself I'm going to be alright and that there's nothing to worry about. He somehow finds a fucking outlet. Tears are running down my cheeks as I send my last texts to my family saying I love them. The teacher starts the lecture, and the student turns his laptop on. The colored lights on his RGB Backlit keyboard flare to life like a nuclear flash, and a deep humming fills my ears and shakes my very soul. The entire city power grid goes dark. The classroom begins to shake as the massive fans begin to spin. In mere seconds my world has gone from vibrant life, to a dark, earth shattering void where my body is getting torn apart by the 150mph gale force winds and the 500 decibel groan of the cooling fans. As my body finally surrenders, I weep, as my school and my city go under. I fucking hate gaming laptops.
I used to be a real ad
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I want to impregnate Belle Delphine so bad
When you step into the Rick and Morty fandom realm
When you step into the Rick and Morty fandom realm, you're not going any old place. You're coming to the underground fight club of intellect. Prepare to be mentally battered. But don't worry, after you've spent your newbie time being cognitively pummeled, you'll have joined the ranks of the mental elite.
Then you'll see the world for what it truly is. All those people going around without a thought in their head. You'll hate it. You'll become just like him. And you'll start loving it. The power of intelligence, of absolute intellectual superiority. It'll become a high you chase, constantly learning and experimenting.
You'll finally be a Rick.
Rick and Morty
My pasta is really just not salty enough
twitchquotes:
Hey Kripp, I just finished writing my most recent copypasta, but it needs something else and I was wondering if you can help. My pasta is really just not salty enough and needs some PJSalt. Pls help me finish my masterpiece.
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Kripp
I once had sleep paralysis
twitchquotes:
i once had sleep paralysis and i imagined Kripparian slowly slithering up to me and i felt the brush of his wirey beard press against my chest and his boulder-like face was a miillimeter away from mine and he whispered "..He had the perfect cerds" then drained all my RNG power right out of my chest. I cried for days.
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Kripp
Can't focus on sex with the Food Network on
twitchquotes:
Iām married and have a 4 year old so sex needs to be done in window opportunities. Whatever channel the TV is on in the background is what itās going to be. Food Network is the hardest to have sex to by far. So if for example Guy Fieri Triple D comes on and I hear āweāre going to Seattle for some funky BBQ fish empanadasā while having sex my brain is āyes sex! But those empanadas sound crazy...dude focus on sex....thatās a shit load of jalapeƱos, that would give me heartburn for a week....Ok back to focusing on the sex....oh shit heās going to a bbq pit in Austin next that does burnt tips in white cheddar Mac and Cheese!!! I gotta wrap this upā
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