[Copypasta] I hate gaming laptops

Today when I walked into my economics class I saw something I dread every time I close my eyes. Someone had brought their new gaming laptop to class. The Forklift he used to bring it was still running idle at the back. I started sweating as I sat down and gazed over at the 700lb beast that was his laptop. He had already reinforced his desk with steel support beams and was in the process of finding an outlet for a power cable thicker than Amy Schumer's thigh. I start shaking. I keep telling myself I'm going to be alright and that there's nothing to worry about. He somehow finds a fucking outlet. Tears are running down my cheeks as I send my last texts to my family saying I love them. The teacher starts the lecture, and the student turns his laptop on. The colored lights on his RGB Backlit keyboard flare to life like a nuclear flash, and a deep humming fills my ears and shakes my very soul. The entire city power grid goes dark. The classroom begins to shake as the massive fans begin to spin. In mere seconds my world has gone from vibrant life, to a dark, earth shattering void where my body is getting torn apart by the 150mph gale force winds and the 500 decibel groan of the cooling fans. As my body finally surrenders, I weep, as my school and my city go under. I fucking hate gaming laptops.
December 2020
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🎄🎄MERRY CHRISTMAS BITCHES🎄🎄!!

🎄🎄MERRY CHRISTMAS BITCHES🎄🎄!! Now that it’s finally DICKmas 👅💦Santa’s about to slide 🎅🏾😉 down your hot 🔥 hot 🔥chimney tonight. So lick 💦💋those juicy candy canes and drink up that creamy eggnog🍼, it’s about to get wet down at Santa’s workshop🍆🍆! Don’t forgot to slide down that XXXtra 🎅🏾🎅🏾 big North Pole, and make sure your 🍪 cookie 🍪is yummy enough for Santa to eat👄! 👀 But are you bad enough to handle Santa’s giant juicy 8=candy👊🏼COCK=D💦?? Send this to 🔟 of your baddest bitch elves💁🏼💁🏾 If you get 5️⃣ back, youre on the naughty list this year🍆💦! If you get 🔟 back you better be ready for Santa’s hot ♨️CUMlate☕️💦😭 If you get 2️⃣0️⃣ back you’ve got the most bitchin 🍬peppermint 🍬pussy in the North Pole! ❄️⛄ Hope you get to blow 🌬 lots of XXXmas 🎄dick, and that you get lots of XXXmas 🎄CUMMIES 💝💝 HAVE A SLUTTY 💦🍆👅DICKMAS YOU HOE HOE HOE!!! 🎅🏾🎅🏿🎅🏽🎅🏼
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⣶⣶⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠿⠿⠿⠿⠿⠿⢿⣿⣿⣿⣶⣦ ⠟⠉⠉⠉⠉⠉⠛⠻⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡟⣩⣶⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣶⣶⣶⣮⣭⣛ ⣤⠶⢒⣒⣒⣲⣤⣷⣮⠻⣿⣿⣿⣿⠏⣸⣿⣿⠟⣋⣭⣭⣤⣤⣭⣙⠛⢿⣿⣿ ⠁⠈⠉⠍⡉⡙⠛⠻⣿⡇⣿⣿⣿⡏⣾⣿⣿⡟⠄⢠⣴⠄⣠⠄⠉⠉⠛⢦⡙⢿ ⣦⣤⣙⣚⢓⣛⣋⠤⠜⢱⣿⣿⣿⢸⣿⣿⣿⢡⣶⣬⣍⠙⠉⢐⣀⣀⣤⡴⠛⣨ ⣦⣭⣍⣉⣉⣭⣴⣿⢃⣿⣿⣿⣿⣌⣛⣛⠛⠘⣿⣿⣟⣙⠛⣛⢛⣉⣀⣠⣾⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⡿⢋⣼⣿⠋⣼⡿⠿⣿⣿⠟⠉⠙⠛⠃⠈⠛⠻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣴⣿⡿⠋⠘⠛⢿⣦⣿⣧⣤⣀⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠈⠿⣿⣿⣿⠿⢿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⡟⠋⠄⠄⠄⠄⠈⠉⣸⣿⡏⠉⠁⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠈⠻⣿⣷⣦⣄⠉ ⣿⣿⣿⣇⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢰⣿⣿⣿⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠹⣿⣿⡏⣰ ⢿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣦⣦⡀⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢀⣠⣶⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⣸⣿ ⠄⠘⠁⠄⠙⠿⣿⣿⣧⡤⠄⠄⠄⣀⣀⣀⣀⣤⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠟⢰⣿⣿ ⡀⠄⠄⠄⠄⠐⣿⣿⣿⣷⣄⡀⣀⣀⣩⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠟⠁⠄⠿⠈⠋ ⣿⣆⠄⠄⠄⠄⢸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠟⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⣿⣿⣧⡀⠄⠄⠄⠙⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠉⠉⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄
November 2021
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乇乂ㄒ尺卂 丂山口乚口

twitchquotes: In japan we don't say 'I love Star Wars' we say 乇乂ㄒ尺卂 丂山口乚口 which doesn't mean anything it just spells out 'I wanna fuck Ben Swolo' in japanese symbols.
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November 2014
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Master Hand

⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡏⠁⠀⠀⠈⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠟⠛⢿⣿⣿⢀⡀⠀⠀⣰⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠀⠀⠀⠀⢹⡇⠀⠉⠙⠋⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠿⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⠉⠀⠙⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠗⢤⣤⣴⠀⠁⠀⠘⠋⠰⣿⣿⡟⠋⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⢘⣿⣿ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠙⠛⣿⣿⠄⠈⠛⠃⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢨⣿⠋⠀⠀⠀⠠⣄⠀⣠⣾⣿⣿ ⣧⣤⠤⠀⠀⠀⠈⢿⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠘⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣠⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣦⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣰⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⡟⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣼⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⡇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⡇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣷⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⡆⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠉⠉⠛⢿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣦⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣦⣤⣤⣤⣀⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣀⠀⠀⢆⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣠
December 2020

Super Smash Bros

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