[Copypasta] I hate gaming laptops

Today when I walked into my economics class I saw something I dread every time I close my eyes. Someone had brought their new gaming laptop to class. The Forklift he used to bring it was still running idle at the back. I started sweating as I sat down and gazed over at the 700lb beast that was his laptop. He had already reinforced his desk with steel support beams and was in the process of finding an outlet for a power cable thicker than Amy Schumer's thigh. I start shaking. I keep telling myself I'm going to be alright and that there's nothing to worry about. He somehow finds a fucking outlet. Tears are running down my cheeks as I send my last texts to my family saying I love them. The teacher starts the lecture, and the student turns his laptop on. The colored lights on his RGB Backlit keyboard flare to life like a nuclear flash, and a deep humming fills my ears and shakes my very soul. The entire city power grid goes dark. The classroom begins to shake as the massive fans begin to spin. In mere seconds my world has gone from vibrant life, to a dark, earth shattering void where my body is getting torn apart by the 150mph gale force winds and the 500 decibel groan of the cooling fans. As my body finally surrenders, I weep, as my school and my city go under. I fucking hate gaming laptops.
December 2020
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Rudy Giuliani brings a plate of evidence

Holy shit. Rudy Giuliani came into the presser to bring me a plate of election fraud evidence and I literally screamed at him and hit the plate of evidence out of his hand. He started yelling "HEEEREEE'S KRAKEN!" at me and I cut the live feed on him. I’m so distressed right now I don’t know what to do. I didn’t mean to do that to Rudy but I’m literally in shock from the evidence tonight. I feel like I’m going to explode. Why the fucking fuck is he losing? This can’t be happening. I’m having a fucking breakdown. I don’t want to believe the world is so corrupt. I want to Build Back Better™. I want Biden to be president and fix this broken country. I cannot fucking deal with this right now. It wasn’t supposed to be like this, I thought he was polling well in Michigan???? This is so fucked.
November 2020

2020 US Election

Misogynist Pig Kripp

twitchquotes: you have an "!imgay" response but don't have an "!imbi", "!imtrans*", "!imfurry", "!imreallyacat", or "!imfeminist" response? misogynist pig kripp
twitch chat
October 2014
Kripp

Forsen's face

⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠋⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠉⠉⠉⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠋⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠈⠉⢿⣿ ⣿⣿⡿⠛⠁⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢘⣿ ⣿⠟⠁⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⣀⢀⠄⣀⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⣼⣿ ⠇⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢀⣤⣤⣴⣶⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣦⠄⠄⢺⣿ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢀⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣦⠄⢸⣿ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⢰⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣇⢸⣿ ⠄⠄⠄⢀⣾⣿⣿⣿⡿⠟⠛⠛⠻⣿⣿⡿⠛⠉⠄⠉⠉⣻⣾⣿ ⡆⠄⠄⢸⣿⣿⣿⡟⢀⠔⠒⡀⠄⣸⣿⣷⡄⡈⢉⠁⣠⣿⣹⣿ ⣿⣀⠄⠄⣿⣿⣿⣦⣄⡒⢚⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣶⣴⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣟⢉⡵⣆⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣼⣦⣿⣸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡟⠩⠁⡄⣸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⠝⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠟⢁⣀⡀⠄⠙⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣷⡀⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⢋⣀⣤⣤⣤⣤⣤⣼⣿⣿⢻⣿ ⡿⠿⠛⠛⣷⠈⠻⢿⣿⣿⣿⣯⣿⣿⣏⡀⢀⣹⣿⠙⠟⠄⣼⣿ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⣿⣧⡀⠄⠈⠉⠛⠻⠻⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⡟⠄⠄⣼⣿⣿ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⢸⣿⣿⣄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠈⠉⠉⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠉⠿⣿ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢻⣿⣿⣷⣆⡀⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⣴⡇⠄⠄⠄⠈
April 2022
Forsen

It starts with a charging Rein

twitchquotes: It starts with a charging Rein. Janus floods the enemy team. His teammates race back and forth behind closed eyelids. Janus dies. Dead. Now it’s up to the Justice to decide what to do with it.
twitch chat
March 2019
OverwatchLeague

Overwatch

A casual player like yourself might get injured!

twitchquotes: Hi Kripp, Mike Morhaime, President of Blizzard Entertainment here. I notice you're playing one of our older games. I have to warn you, the games we made in that era weren't casual-friendly. A casual player like yourself might get injured!
twitch chat
January 2015
Kripp
Text-to-Speech Playing