[Copypasta] I hate gaming laptops

Today when I walked into my economics class I saw something I dread every time I close my eyes. Someone had brought their new gaming laptop to class. The Forklift he used to bring it was still running idle at the back. I started sweating as I sat down and gazed over at the 700lb beast that was his laptop. He had already reinforced his desk with steel support beams and was in the process of finding an outlet for a power cable thicker than Amy Schumer's thigh. I start shaking. I keep telling myself I'm going to be alright and that there's nothing to worry about. He somehow finds a fucking outlet. Tears are running down my cheeks as I send my last texts to my family saying I love them. The teacher starts the lecture, and the student turns his laptop on. The colored lights on his RGB Backlit keyboard flare to life like a nuclear flash, and a deep humming fills my ears and shakes my very soul. The entire city power grid goes dark. The classroom begins to shake as the massive fans begin to spin. In mere seconds my world has gone from vibrant life, to a dark, earth shattering void where my body is getting torn apart by the 150mph gale force winds and the 500 decibel groan of the cooling fans. As my body finally surrenders, I weep, as my school and my city go under. I fucking hate gaming laptops.
December 2020
What happened to this ad? :(
More Copypastas

Hello Mr. Morosan! This is the salt truck driver

twitchquotes: ΰΌΌ Ν β€’ Ω„Νœ β€’ ΰΌ½ Κœα΄‡ΚŸΚŸα΄ ᴍʀ. ᴍᴏʀᴏsα΄€Ι΄! α΄›ΚœΙͺs Ιͺs α΄›Κœα΄‡ sα΄€ΚŸα΄›-α΄›Κ€α΄œα΄„α΄‹-α΄…Κ€Ιͺᴠᴇʀ. Ιͺ'ᴍ Κœα΄‡Κ€α΄‡ ᴛᴏ α΄…α΄‡ΚŸΙͺᴠᴇʀ Κα΄α΄œΚ€ ᴏʀᴅᴇʀ ᴏꜰ 69 ᴛᴏɴs ᴏꜰ α΄©α΄œΚ€α΄‡ sα΄€ΚŸα΄› κœ°Κ€α΄α΄ α΄›Κœα΄‡ κœ°α΄€α΄α΄α΄œs sα΄€ΚŸα΄›α΄Ιͺɴᴇ "üʙᴇʀᴋÀᴋᴇɴᴋᴏᴛᴒɴ" ΙͺΙ΄ α΄›Κœα΄‡ α΄€ΚŸα΄©s. Ιͺꜰ ʏᴏᴜ'α΄… ʟΙͺᴋᴇ ᴛᴏ ᴏʀᴅᴇʀ ᴍᴏʀᴇ sα΄€ΚŸα΄›, ΚŸα΄‡α΄› ᴍᴇ ᴋɴᴏᴑ! ɒᴏᴏᴅʙʏᴇ sΙͺΚ€! ΰΌΌ Ν β€’ Ω„Νœ β€’ ΰΌ½
twitch chat
November 2014
Kripp

This is shit

twitchquotes: β–€β–ˆβ–€ β–ˆβ–¬β–ˆ β–ˆ β–„β–ˆβ–€ β–ˆ β–„β–ˆβ–€ β–„β–ˆβ–€ β–ˆβ–¬β–ˆ β–ˆ β–€β–ˆβ–€
twitch chat
November 2014
Kripp

Sense of pride and accomplishment

twitchquotes: The πŸ’° intent πŸ’° is πŸ’° to πŸ’° provide πŸ’° players πŸ’° with πŸ’° a πŸ’° sense πŸ’° of πŸ’° pride πŸ’° and πŸ’° accomplishment πŸ’° for πŸ’° unlocking πŸ’° different πŸ’° heroes. πŸ’° As πŸ’° for πŸ’° cost, πŸ’° we πŸ’° selected πŸ’° initial πŸ’° values πŸ’° based πŸ’° upon πŸ’° data πŸ’° from πŸ’° the πŸ’° Open πŸ’° Beta πŸ’° and πŸ’° other πŸ’° adjustments πŸ’° made πŸ’° to πŸ’° milestone πŸ’° rewards πŸ’° before πŸ’° launch. πŸ’° Among πŸ’° other πŸ’° things, πŸ’° we're πŸ’° looking πŸ’° at πŸ’° average πŸ’° per-player πŸ’° credit πŸ’° earn πŸ’° rates πŸ’° on πŸ’° a πŸ’° daily πŸ’° basis, πŸ’° and πŸ’° we'll πŸ’° be πŸ’° making πŸ’° constant πŸ’° adjustments πŸ’° to πŸ’° ensure πŸ’° that πŸ’° players πŸ’° have πŸ’° challenges πŸ’° that πŸ’° are πŸ’° compelling, πŸ’° rewarding, πŸ’° and πŸ’° of πŸ’° course πŸ’° attainable πŸ’° via πŸ’° gameplay. We πŸ’° appreciate πŸ’° the πŸ’° candid πŸ’° feedback, πŸ’° and πŸ’° the πŸ’° passion πŸ’° the πŸ’° community πŸ’° has πŸ’° put πŸ’° forth πŸ’° around πŸ’° the πŸ’° current πŸ’° topics πŸ’° here πŸ’° on πŸ’° Reddit, πŸ’° our πŸ’° forums πŸ’° and πŸ’° across πŸ’° numerous πŸ’° social πŸ’° media πŸ’° outlets. Our πŸ’° team πŸ’° will πŸ’° continue πŸ’° to πŸ’° make πŸ’° changes πŸ’° and πŸ’° monitor πŸ’° community πŸ’° feedback πŸ’° and πŸ’° update πŸ’° everyone πŸ’° as πŸ’° soon πŸ’° and πŸ’° as πŸ’° often πŸ’° as πŸ’° we πŸ’° can. πŸ’°
twitch chat
November 2017

Hey Kripp, how's it going, Hero Academy 2 Dev here

twitchquotes: Hey Kripp, how's it going, Hero Academy 2 Dev here. We noticed that your salty streams are interesting and entertaining. To fix this issue, we have decided to offer you money to play our very uninteresting and boring card game that is clearly a clone of Hearthstone. We look forward to future business with you and hope that you can sellout out a little bit more in the future. ResidentSleeper
twitch chat
March 2018
Kripp

Hearthstone

salty

you are not old, mate

twitchquotes: you are not old, mate, you are indeed where life starts, you shouldn't be worried what your age is, as long as you feel young you are young, cheer up and win already, love u dad <3
twitch chat
June 2019
Reckful
Text-to-Speech Playing