[Copypasta] A long dad joke

An Afghan, an Albanian, an Algerian, an American, an Andorran, an Angolan, an Antiguans, an Argentine, an Armenian, an Australian, an Austrian, an Azerbaijani, a Bahamian, a Bahraini, a Bangladeshi, a Barbadian, a Barbudans, a Batswanan, a Belarusian, a Belgian, a Belizean, a Beninese, a Bhutanese, a Bolivian, a Bosnian, a Brazilian, a Brit, a Bruneian, a Bulgarian, a Burkinabe, a Burmese, a Burundian, a Cambodian, a Cameroonian, a Canadian, a Cape Verdean, a Central African, a Chadian, a Chilean, a Chinese, a Colombian, a Comoran, a Congolese, a Costa Rican, a Croatian, a Cuban, a Cypriot, a Czech, a Dane, a Djibouti, a Dominican, a Dutchman, an East Timorese, an Ecuadorean, an Egyptian, an Emirian, an Equatorial Guinean, an Eritrean, an Estonian, an Ethiopian, a Fijian, a Filipino, a Finn, a Frenchman, a Gabonese, a Gambian, a Georgian, a German, a Ghanaian, a Greek, a Grenadian, a Guatemalan, a Guinea-Bissauan, a Guinean, a Guyanese, a Haitian, a Herzegovinian, a Honduran, a Hungarian, an I-Kiribati, an Icelander, an Indian, an Indonesian, an Iranian, an Iraqi, an Irishman, an Israeli, an Italian, an Ivorian, a Jamaican, a Japanese, a Jordanian, a Kazakhstani, a Kenyan, a Kittian and Nevisian, a Kuwaiti, a Kyrgyz, a Laotian, a Latvian, a Lebanese, a Liberian, a Libyan, a Liechtensteiner, a Lithuanian, a Luxembourger, a Macedonian, a Malagasy, a Malawian, a Malaysian, a Maldivan, a Malian, a Maltese, a Marshallese, a Mauritanian, a Mauritian, a Mexican, a Micronesian, a Moldovan, a Monacan, a Mongolian, a Moroccan, a Mosotho, a Motswana, a Mozambican, a Namibian, a Nauruan, a Nepalese, a New Zealander, a Nicaraguan, a Nigerian, a Nigerien, a North Korean, a Northern Irishman, a Norwegian, an Omani, a Pakistani, a Palauan, a Palestinian, a Panamanian, a Papua New Guinean, a Paraguayan, a Peruvian, a Pole, a Portuguese, a Qatari, a Romanian, a Russian, a Rwandan, a Saint Lucian, a Salvadoran, a Samoan, a San Marinese, a Sao Tomean, a Saudi, a Scottish, a Senegalese, a Serbian, a Seychellois, a Sierra Leonean, a Singaporean, a Slovakian, a Slovenian, a Solomon Islander, a Somali, a South African, a South Korean, a Spaniard, a Sri Lankan, a Sudanese, a Surinamer, a Swazi, a Swede, a Swiss, a Syrian, a Taiwanese, a Tajik, a Tanzanian, a Togolese, a Tongan, a Trinidadian or Tobagonian, a Tunisian, a Turkish, a Tuvaluan, a Ugandan, a Ukrainian, a Uruguayan, a Uzbekistani, a Venezuelan, a Vietnamese, a Welshman, a Yemenite, a Zambian and a Zimbabwean all go to a nightclub... The doorman stops them and says “Sorry, I can’t let you in without a Thai.”
February 2021
(▀̿Ĺ̯├┬┴┬┴ Psst... kid, you wanna disable adblock?
More Copypastas

Mr Bear song (that's where your hopes go to die)

Well There's all sorts of creatures, down on Dangley Doodle Farm. Like wise old Mr Octopus, with way too many arms! There's Mr Pig! And Mr Cow! They're always in good moods. But That's cause they don't know they'll soon be sliced up into food! Mr Bear! What's that over there? That's where your hopes go to turn into despair. Mr Bear! What's That over there? That's where your dreams go to die! Mr Racoon! Wants to go to the moon. He'll end up as a bus driver soon! Mr Porcupine! Thinks he'll read the news at nine, he'll end up as a janitor, who stinks of turpentine. Mr Tiny Mouse! Thought he'd own a massive house. Ended up in a bed sit where he can't control the louse! Mr Horse! Though he'd go into professional sports. Now he's an alcoholic and he's on his third divorce! Mr Bear! What's that over there? That's the place your life becomes an endless questionnaire! Mr Bear! What's that over there? That's where your hopes go to die. Lower your expectations! Maybe you could get a job in telecommunications. No matter how you try you'll never reach the League of Nations. The best you'll get is middle rank in trading operations! So lower your expectations! You'll never win an oscar, so there's no congratulations. The future that is coming will not meet specifications. And no amount of visualisations will save you from your own deterioration Mr Bear! What's that over there? That's the tramp who thought he'd be a multimillionaire! Mr Bear! What's that over there? That's where self-esteem goes to die. Mr Bear! What's that over there? That's the disappointment that is waiting everywhere! Mr Bear! What's that over there? That's where your schemes go to die! That's where your dreams go to die! That's where dreams go to die!
April 2022

Momo 2

⣿⣿⣿⣿⠏⠄⣰⣿⡋⡴⣁⣿⣿⣿⣿⣯⡖⣄⠘⢿⣆⠄⠄⠄⠈⢻⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⠇⠂⣴⡿⡃⡜⡰⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣟⠸⢠⠸⣿⡆⠄⠄⠄⠄⠹⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⡟⢀⢠⡿⡝⡌⣼⣻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡄⠄⡆⣿⡇⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⡇⡏⣸⣷⣳⣹⡿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣧⠄⣷⣿⡇⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠸⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣧⠿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠿⠻⢿⣿⣿⣦⡸⣿⣷⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢻⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⡡⠦⣄⡹⣿⣿⣿⣿⠃⢠⣶⣶⣦⡌⢿⣿⣿⣾⣿⡆⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢸⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣇⠄⣿⡇⣿⣿⣿⣿⡀⠊⠄⢸⣿⡿⢸⣿⣿⣿⣿⡇⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣝⣋⣠⣿⣿⣿⣿⣧⡈⠒⠚⢛⣡⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⠇⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠠⢻ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣾⣭⣽⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢘⢻ ⣿⣿⣿⡇⢻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠇⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠈⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⡷⠄⢿⣿⣹⣯⣽⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠟⣫⡶⡀⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⡟⡀⠘⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠛⣡⣾⣿⡕⠁⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⡟⡅⠄⠘⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠟⠋⣡⣴⣿⣿⣿⠟⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣷⡇⠄⠄⠘⢯⣍⣡⣤⣶⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠃⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⡇⠄⠄⠄⠄⠙⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣟⣡⣀⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⣿
March 2019

2Chainz lyrics

twitchquotes: "She got a big booty, so I call her big booty". -2Chainz Upon initial glance, these lyrics appear to be an unintelligent embodiment of the lack of creativity that rap and hip hop music is viewed as today. However upon further investigation, one will find that, in actuality, lyrical genius 2Chainz has crafted a beautiful and deep piece of literature carefully condensed into a single 11 word sentence that perfectly describes not only the world we live in, but also life itself.
twitch chat
February 2019

My boyfriend doesnt know (from r/trueoffmychest)

At the beginning of this month, my boyfriend received an email from his brother with the subject "Dude check this out" and a Google Doc called "!!NEW RAP!!". When my boyfriend opened it, all that was on the doc was a picture of Nikocado Avocado’s asshole. When my boyfriend texted his brother about receiving his email, he replied "what email?". They’ve been going back and forth since about the email, my boyfriend’s brother saying he never sent an email and my boyfriend thinking he’s keeping up the act. What my boyfriend doesn’t know is I sent the email. I made an almost identical looking email, one letter off, and even managed to find the exact email profile picture from his brother’s LinkedIn. Now it kills me every time I see them go at it. I’m literally pissing myself as I write this.
May 2022

Reddit

I use Linux as my operating system

"I use Linux as my operating system," I state proudly to the unkempt, bearded man. He swivels around in his desk chair with a devilish gleam in his eyes, ready to mansplain with extreme precision. "Actually", he says with a grin, "Linux is just the kernel. You use GNU+Linux!' I don't miss a beat and reply with a smirk, "I use Alpine, a distro that doesn't include the GNU Coreutils, or any other GNU code. It's Linux, but it's not GNU+Linux." The smile quickly drops from the man's face. His body begins convulsing and he foams at the mouth and drops to the floor with a sickly thud. As he writhes around he screams "I-IT WAS COMPILED WITH GCC! THAT MEANS IT'S STILL GNU!" Coolly, I reply "If windows were compiled with GCC, would that make it GNU?" I interrupt his response with "-and work is being made on the kernel to make it more compiler-agnostic. Even if you were correct, you won't be for long." With a sickly wheeze, the last of the man's life is ejected from his body. He lies on the floor, cold and limp. I've womansplained him to death.
June 2021
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