[Copypasta] A long dad joke

An Afghan, an Albanian, an Algerian, an American, an Andorran, an Angolan, an Antiguans, an Argentine, an Armenian, an Australian, an Austrian, an Azerbaijani, a Bahamian, a Bahraini, a Bangladeshi, a Barbadian, a Barbudans, a Batswanan, a Belarusian, a Belgian, a Belizean, a Beninese, a Bhutanese, a Bolivian, a Bosnian, a Brazilian, a Brit, a Bruneian, a Bulgarian, a Burkinabe, a Burmese, a Burundian, a Cambodian, a Cameroonian, a Canadian, a Cape Verdean, a Central African, a Chadian, a Chilean, a Chinese, a Colombian, a Comoran, a Congolese, a Costa Rican, a Croatian, a Cuban, a Cypriot, a Czech, a Dane, a Djibouti, a Dominican, a Dutchman, an East Timorese, an Ecuadorean, an Egyptian, an Emirian, an Equatorial Guinean, an Eritrean, an Estonian, an Ethiopian, a Fijian, a Filipino, a Finn, a Frenchman, a Gabonese, a Gambian, a Georgian, a German, a Ghanaian, a Greek, a Grenadian, a Guatemalan, a Guinea-Bissauan, a Guinean, a Guyanese, a Haitian, a Herzegovinian, a Honduran, a Hungarian, an I-Kiribati, an Icelander, an Indian, an Indonesian, an Iranian, an Iraqi, an Irishman, an Israeli, an Italian, an Ivorian, a Jamaican, a Japanese, a Jordanian, a Kazakhstani, a Kenyan, a Kittian and Nevisian, a Kuwaiti, a Kyrgyz, a Laotian, a Latvian, a Lebanese, a Liberian, a Libyan, a Liechtensteiner, a Lithuanian, a Luxembourger, a Macedonian, a Malagasy, a Malawian, a Malaysian, a Maldivan, a Malian, a Maltese, a Marshallese, a Mauritanian, a Mauritian, a Mexican, a Micronesian, a Moldovan, a Monacan, a Mongolian, a Moroccan, a Mosotho, a Motswana, a Mozambican, a Namibian, a Nauruan, a Nepalese, a New Zealander, a Nicaraguan, a Nigerian, a Nigerien, a North Korean, a Northern Irishman, a Norwegian, an Omani, a Pakistani, a Palauan, a Palestinian, a Panamanian, a Papua New Guinean, a Paraguayan, a Peruvian, a Pole, a Portuguese, a Qatari, a Romanian, a Russian, a Rwandan, a Saint Lucian, a Salvadoran, a Samoan, a San Marinese, a Sao Tomean, a Saudi, a Scottish, a Senegalese, a Serbian, a Seychellois, a Sierra Leonean, a Singaporean, a Slovakian, a Slovenian, a Solomon Islander, a Somali, a South African, a South Korean, a Spaniard, a Sri Lankan, a Sudanese, a Surinamer, a Swazi, a Swede, a Swiss, a Syrian, a Taiwanese, a Tajik, a Tanzanian, a Togolese, a Tongan, a Trinidadian or Tobagonian, a Tunisian, a Turkish, a Tuvaluan, a Ugandan, a Ukrainian, a Uruguayan, a Uzbekistani, a Venezuelan, a Vietnamese, a Welshman, a Yemenite, a Zambian and a Zimbabwean all go to a nightclub... The doorman stops them and says “Sorry, I can’t let you in without a Thai.”
February 2021
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Topdecking and Wrecking

twitchquotes: ʜᴇʟʟᴏ ᴋʀɪᴘᴘ I ᴀᴍ ғᴀᴍᴏᴜs ᴘᴏʀɴ ᴅɪʀᴇᴄᴛᴏʀ, ᴇᴅᴅʏ ᴘᴀsᴛᴇʀɪɴᴏ. ᴡᴇ ᴡᴏᴜʟᴅ ʟɪᴋᴇ ʏᴏᴜ ᴀɴᴅ ᴋᴀᴄᴇʏᴛʀᴏɴ ᴛᴏ ᴘᴀʀᴛɪᴄɪᴘᴀᴛᴇ ɪɴ ᴏᴜʀ ɴᴇᴡ ᴠɪᴅᴇᴏ " ᴛᴏᴘᴅᴇᴄᴋɪɴ' ɴ ᴡʀᴇᴄᴋɪɴ' " ᴋᴀᴄᴇʏᴛʀᴏɴ ᴡᴏᴜʟᴅ ʙᴇ ᴀ ᴘɪᴢᴢᴀɢɪʀʟ ᴀɴᴅ ʏᴏᴜ sᴀʏ ɴᴏ ᴘɪᴢᴢᴇʀɪɴᴏ ᴀɴᴅ ᴛᴏᴘᴅᴇᴄᴋ ʜᴇʀ
twitch chat
March 2014
Kripp

Annoyed Anime Girl

⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⡀⠀⠀⣀⣀⣀⡀⠀⢀⡀⠀⢀⣀⣀⣀⠀⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣠⣎⣀⣀⣠⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣶⡄⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⣰⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣆⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⢰⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⡿⠏⠿⠿⠿⠿⠿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡆⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⢿⠋⠉⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⡀⠀⠀⠘⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣧⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⢰⣿⣿⣿⣿⠟⢁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠇⠀⠀⡈⠀⠻⣿⣿⣿⣿⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⣼⣿⣿⡿⠁⠀⢸⠀⠈⢳⣶⣤⣄⠀⠈⠀⠁⠀⠀⠀⢀⠀⠹⣿⣿⡟⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⣿⣿⣿⠀⠀⠈⣼⡇⠀⠘⠻⠟⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⢤⣀⡀⠌⠀⠀⣿⣿⠃⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⣿⣿⣿⡀⠀⠀⡏⡇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠸⣿⡿⠋⢰⢠⣿⡏⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⣿⣿⣿⡇⠀⠀⢷⡃⠀⠀⢀⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣴⣯⣾⡟⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⣿⣿⣿⡿⠀⠀⣼⣿⡄⠀⠈⠀⢑⠶⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣾⣿⣿⣿⡇⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⣿⣿⣿⠁⠀⠀⣿⣿⠁⠀⠀⠀⢀⣀⣠⣤⣤⣴⠟⣿⣿⣿⣿⡇⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠙⢿⠃⠀⠀⢸⣿⣟⠀⠀⢀⣤⣾⣿⣿⣿⠟⠁⢰⣿⣿⣿⣿⠃⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠠⠴⠀⠀⠀⠿⠿⠿⠧⠾⠿⠿⠿⠿⠿⠃⠀⠀⠾⠿⠿⠟⠁⠀
April 2020

My son 🙇was SO cute today

twitchquotes: My son 🙇was SO cute today, he asked me "dad are clouds candy?" I told him they were water. 💦 Then he asked "dad, what's Earth's defense system?" and then I remembered I don't have a son and he asked again his eyes now obsidian black "what is the defense system father"
twitch chat
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When I was 13, I came out to my parents as a Morbius male.

When i was 13, i came out to my parents as a morbius male. They couldnt accept my morbality, so they sent me off to camp. They just didnt understand— i was morbed that way. At the camp, they gave us electromorb therapy to morb us into beta males. I resisted the treatment, being a morbius male, you cant morb me out of being morbed. I fooled the counselors into thinking they had successfully morbed be into a beta male, and i returned home. To this day, i live a double life— one for my parents, who still cannot accept morbality, and one where its always morbin time.
June 2022

Morbius

WTF IS GIGALUL?

twitchquotes: We have the perfect seven letter emote for a mega-sized british man laughing at your inferior memes. However, we had to take it one step further with this perverted version of the MEGALUL emote and now my chat experience has been completed destroyed. All I wanted was a chat where I could MEGALUL at the LUL fags but now GIGALUL has destroyed the balance of emotes and chat will never be great again.
twitch chat
August 2016
Forsen
Text-to-Speech Playing