[Copypasta] I tried to go help

Damn saw this one guy getting beat up by 2 other dudes today so I tried to go help, didn’t stand a chance against the 3 of us.
March 2021
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Hi Tyler, this is the riot balance team

twitchquotes: Hi Tyler, this is the riot balance team contacting you due to your expertise in the game known as League of Legends. We wanted to invite you here, to riot studios, to singlehandedly write the code for the next big patch, rebalancing the game anyway you want! we know youre a much better player, coder, and balancer of games than we are. Thank YOU T1!!!
twitch chat
April 2018
Tyler1

League of Legends

Ben Shapiro Kung Fu Fighting

Let's say for a minute, that hypothetically, everyone was in fact kung fu fighting. Now statistically speaking of course, this is impossible. Now hypothetically if they were, hypothetically of course. Now, would they all be performing the same so called Kung Fu move? Statistically speaking that is highly unlikely. This would also, hypothetically, be quite dangerous if it were to actually occur. Coming from a medical official, my wife, who is a doctor, she says that hypothetically, this would be dangerous. So, logically, this would not happen. So in fact, there is no way, impossible even, that everybody was Kung Fu Fighting.
December 2020

Ben Shapiro

Kripp's wife Hafu and future son Dennis Morosan

twitchquotes: hello kripp, I am from the future. I am best friends with your son, Dennis Morosan. Your wife, Hafu, sent me to tell you Well Met and to message her how much you value penguins and OJ
twitch chat
March 2014
Kripp

ISIS threatens Kripp

twitchquotes: لام ، Kripp ، میرے دوست ، اس کے اپنے مقامی ISIS باب سے ہے . میں نے حال ہی میں اپنے میدان ڈیک میں بمباروں کی کمی محسوس کیا ہے . یہ بالکل حرام ہیں اور اللہ کی توہین ہے . آپ ثقافتی تنوع کے بارے میں سب سے اوپر پرواہ ہے آپ کو آپ کے ڈیک کے سب آگے بڑھنے کے لئے ان کارڈز شامل کریں گے! دوسری صورت میں ہم آپ کو کچھ "گھڑیوں" بھیجنے کے لئے مجبور کیا جائے گا . میں تمہیں دھمکی گے لیکن یہ میری خوبصورت اونٹ کی بیوی سے محبت کرنے کا وقت ہے . الوداعی ، Kripp
twitch chat
June 2016
Kripp

Hello gentleman, I have suffered a loss of 69K

Hello gentleman, I regretfully wish to share with you all that I shant comment on this Internet forum henceforth. As of the time of my arrival in this past autumn, I have suffered a loss of 69K. By the blessing of Lady Luck, I am still experiencing a positive net balance of 420%, so I have come to the conclusion I must liquidate my insignificant phallus account. I shall use this fortune for procuring a vaginal enlargement and acquire tremendous breasts for my OnlyAristocracy parchment. Or I may be devilish and maintain an investment position in TournamentCease. I am short of hours of leisure in life, training dogs to consume peanut butter from the reaches of my posterior and can not bare the rapid change of value of my investment holdings of 40 point 7 grand. I am aware that you, my peers of this financial derivatives Internet forum are filled with ecstasy to become privy to this, so copulate with yourself, I desire you all to be ablaze in nonheteronormative ursine hell in tandem with Sadam.
March 2021

WallStreetBets

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