The year is 2043 Covid variant phi beta epsilon is ravaging 0.0026% of the population, you go outside for your government mandated 30 minute exercise, it's 1 a.m. not the best time, but they alternate your schedule so eventually everyone does get some sunlight. You quadruple mask and put on your plastic helmet. You gaze longingly at the sky. A man riding his bicycle points his flashlight at you "Why aren't you doing your stretches and cardio?" He asks, you recognize him as your neighbor (maybe, it's been some time since you last saw anyone). "It's because of people like you not obeying that the lockdowns have been extended another 4 years." He mumbles through his layers of masks. He reports you to AlphabetGoogle and your social credit score drops 5 points, good luck buying bread this week.
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More COVID Copypastas
Plague doctor / Black Scourge Singed
⣿⣿⣏⢴⢏⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡏⢹⣿⣀⣀⣀⣀⣀⣤⣤
⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠿⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⠜⠻⠿⠿⠿⠿⠿⠿⠿
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⣿⣧⠾⣺⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣫⣤⣴⣦⣶⣾⣿⡦⠤⠀⠀⠤⠤⠤⠖⠒
⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⢋⡻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠟⢉⡀⣀⠀⢠⠃⠀⠀⠀⠀
⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣮⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠟⠀⡃⠀⠀⡇⡜⠉⠙⠛⠓⠒
⣿⠛⣹⢻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠿⠿⠛⠋⠉⠉⠐⠈⠙⢲⡊⡹⠳⣤⣤⡀⠀⠀
⣿⣷⣷⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠛⠋⠁⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⡵⣁⣀⡀⠀⠉⠉⠙
⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠋⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣀⠠⠀⠀⠀⠐⠀⣇⠀⠀⠉⠓⠲⢤⡀
⣿⣿⣿⣿⡟⠀⣀⣠⣤⣶⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣶⣶⣦⣤⣤⣬⡀⠙⢲⡄⠀⠀⠀⠈
⣿⠟⣻⢿⣶⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡆⠀⠙⠢⣄⠀⠀
⣿⣮⣯⣾⣿⣿⡟⣩⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠳⡄⠀⠀⠘⣦⠀
⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠋⠀⠙⢲⠀⠀⠈⢳
⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠛⣆⠀⠀⠈⠳⣄⠀⠀
⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣔⣻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠁⠀⠙⡆⠀⠀⠀⠘⠷⢄
Coronavirus
League of Legends
COVID
ACHOO! Sorry, did I spray you?
ACHOO! Sorry, did I spray you? 💦😉 🧻Corona🤧 is CUMMING💦 for us and you’ve just tested 😱positive🦠 for being 💋NAUGHTY😉 🙅♀️Social distancing is in effect🚫 and I want to spend my 🤷♂️quarenTEEN🔞 with YOU 😍 So grab your 🧴isopropyl-lubricant 💦 and CUM👅 over so I can administer👩⚕️ your treatment😉 and inject💉 you with the vaccine🍆 We’ll spend the 🗝lockdown🔒 flattening the curve📉 and FATTENING DEM’ 👏🏿 CURVES 🍑 Get ready for 14 days of 💯THICC DICC DIAGNOSTICS😭 and sitting on my facemask😷 Send this ✉️ to covid-19 of your sloppiest 💦💦SYMPTOMATIC🤒 SLUTS🤫 If you get 5 back, you’re a Wuhan bat🦇 bitch 👎 If you get 10 back, you’re a 😉horny💄healthy💪hoe😘 If you get all 19 back👏 your ass🍑 is the ANTIDOTE💊 and it’s in high demand 👬🏿
Emoji Pasta
Coronavirus
COVID
Hold Ctrl and type Wash Your Hands
twitchquotes:
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Twitch gives 100 bits for coronavirus awareness
Hold Ctrl and type Wash Your Hands ————————————————————————
Twitch gives 100 bits for coronavirus awareness
Hold Ctrl and type Wash Your Hands ————————————————————————
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Coronavirus
COVID
I've been unvaccinated for 9 months now
I've been unvaccinated for 9 months now, moving from place to place, keeping ahead of the vaxmaxers, never staying anywhere too long, never letting my face become known. "It's great being vaxmaxed isn't it" the shopkeep says vacantly, to nobody in particular. In keeping with the act I reply to the Heinz Baked Beans Substitute 6 Pack (No Plastic) in my hand, something unrelated, with what I hope is a slightly bemused tone. It takes a lot longer to do my shopping these days, I can't simply march through the shop in an orderly fashion, taking what I need in a single trip, I have to absent mindedly shuffle back and forward between the aisles, never really displaying any intent. As unpresent as they are, the vaxmaxed would notice if I was too focused, too alert. A loud smashing sound in the distance almost blows my cover, I notice, and focus on the sound. The vaxmaxed around me slowly aim their distant gaze on me, but I'm able to save myself, I continue my neck jerk and turn it in to a series of spasms, I drop to the floor convulsing, the vaxmaxed around me quickly lose interest and continue on with their day. "That means it's working" one elderly lady comments to her milk as she passes. I continue the charade long enough to filter out most of the vaxmaxed sharing the aisle. It takes a while, and no insubstantial amount of sweat on my part, but I make it to the checkout. A morbidly obese woman directs the horde at the tills, seemingly oblivious to the cacophony of aberrant scan noises and blinking red lights above the entirely self service super checkout. I wait dutifully, not wanting to be noticed, not wanting to be set upon by the Asda Security Vax Checker team, it had taken all my best bluffing to get past them at the door, I almost chuckled when they believed my vax card was in the post but it was quickly stifled, a chuckled would have given me away, a chuckle would have seen me held down and injected with science juice.
COVID
Coronavirus
Day 2 without sports
twitchquotes:
Day 2 without sports: Found a young lady sitting on my couch yesterday. Apparently she’s my wife. She seems nice. Apparently we also have 2 kids.
twitch chat