[Copypasta] The year is 2030. The AOC is now the Supreme Emperor of the United States and the Americas

The year is 2030. The AOC is now the Supreme Emperor of the United States and the Americas, and has successfully executed her forced feminization program, converting 72% of the us male population into women, the remaining 28% either existing peacefully as femboy subs or have fled the country, if they're lucky. All references to Dr. Seuss, Mr. Potatohead, and other such martyrs and thoughtcrimes will lead to prompt and inevitable cancellation by means of Jewish space laser. All statues of white people have been torn down and replaced with statues of AOC alongside Mao Zedong and Che Guevara, and the public has thus collectively forgotten about Robert E. Lee. The constitution has its 28th amendment, codifying mandatory cock and ball torture for all penis-having citizens no less than twice a week. It is illegal to say "Merry Christmas". Heterosexual relationships are strictly forbidden. Attack Helicopter, with pronouns brr/brrs, is a gender recognized on the official list of 93. The police have been almost entirely defunded, nationally having an annual budget of $5.30, enough for a single Big Mac Combo Meal. There is a new arm of the state, namely the "rape police" whose sole duty is functionally a secret task force to ensure all consent is affirmative and enthusiastic. All citizens must pledge allegiance to the LGBTQIA+ rainbow flag and swear oaths on White Fragility by Robin DiAngelo. All g*mers have been deported. Mexico is now the 53rd state, behind Puerto Rico and Washington DC. All bathrooms are gender-neutral. Marxism, the theory proposing the government do a lot of things, has become the official state ideology, including mandatory education on critical race theory beginning in pre-K. White people are second class citizens, guilty of being white, and all white people must publicly apologize on the behalf of their race as a coming-of-age ceremony at the beginning of pubescence. Facts now care about feelings. We will no longer be subjugated by AOC and her inner party, the Squad. The Culture War is not over. We will not be cancelled. We are the resista— radio static
March 2021
Waiting for adblock to be disabled
More Copypastas

Only Ninety's kids will remember This.

There once was a woman who had 100 children. She named each of them after numbers in the order they were born. There was a fire and all of them died except Ninety. Ninety went off to have kids of her own. They were very kind and loving. One day they found an injured dog. They took it home and nursed it back to health. They hid the dog and never told their mother afraid she would kick the dog out . In fact they never told anyone. To keep from arousing any suspicions they named the dog "This" so the name could be used in conversation. One day This ran away. They never saw This again. No one else knew about This. No one even knew a dog named This existed. Only Ninety's kids will remember This.
August 2021

LS, aka "Life Support"

twitchquotes: LS, aka "Life Support", is a dying streamer for CLG and a commentator for the LCK that is often ridiculed for playing the same 5 songs every stream and questionable tft game knowledge. He is specifically known for his varus one trick pony in low gold korean tft solo-queue.
twitch chat
July 2019
imls

League of Legends

Athens Police arrests two Twitch streamers

twitchquotes: Today Athens Police arrested two men, famous on the internet site Twitch. This "Trump" and "Kripp" were having sex in public, over what seemed to be the dead body of a cat that was backstabbed. Both men referred to the dead cat as "Caterrian". Their one phone call was made to the leading salt exporter "Reynad". More news at 10
twitch chat
May 2015
Reynad

Old town road

twitchquotes: I got the horses🐴 in the back🔙 😌 Horse🐴 tack is attached👌 Hat 🤠is matte black👨🏿 Got the boots👢 that’s black👶🏿 to match🤝 Ridin’ on a horse🐴, ha🤣 You👨🏿🌾 can whip 😜👊your Porsche🚗 I been in the ⛰️valley⛰️👉👌 You ain’t 🙅♂️been up👆 off the porch🏠😴, now Can’t nobody tell🗣️ me🤠 nothin’❌
twitch chat
June 2019

Emoji Pasta

Meet Swampletics, my Morytania locked ultimate ironman

twitchquotes: Meet Swampletics, my Morytania locked ultimate ironman. After recently maxing my ultimate ironman I decided to up the ante, and forge my own journey from scratch. No banking, no trading, but this time I can't leave Morytania.
twitch chat
March 2019
Text-to-Speech Playing