[Copypasta] The year is 2030. The AOC is now the Supreme Emperor of the United States and the Americas

The year is 2030. The AOC is now the Supreme Emperor of the United States and the Americas, and has successfully executed her forced feminization program, converting 72% of the us male population into women, the remaining 28% either existing peacefully as femboy subs or have fled the country, if they're lucky. All references to Dr. Seuss, Mr. Potatohead, and other such martyrs and thoughtcrimes will lead to prompt and inevitable cancellation by means of Jewish space laser. All statues of white people have been torn down and replaced with statues of AOC alongside Mao Zedong and Che Guevara, and the public has thus collectively forgotten about Robert E. Lee. The constitution has its 28th amendment, codifying mandatory cock and ball torture for all penis-having citizens no less than twice a week. It is illegal to say "Merry Christmas". Heterosexual relationships are strictly forbidden. Attack Helicopter, with pronouns brr/brrs, is a gender recognized on the official list of 93. The police have been almost entirely defunded, nationally having an annual budget of $5.30, enough for a single Big Mac Combo Meal. There is a new arm of the state, namely the "rape police" whose sole duty is functionally a secret task force to ensure all consent is affirmative and enthusiastic. All citizens must pledge allegiance to the LGBTQIA+ rainbow flag and swear oaths on White Fragility by Robin DiAngelo. All g*mers have been deported. Mexico is now the 53rd state, behind Puerto Rico and Washington DC. All bathrooms are gender-neutral. Marxism, the theory proposing the government do a lot of things, has become the official state ideology, including mandatory education on critical race theory beginning in pre-K. White people are second class citizens, guilty of being white, and all white people must publicly apologize on the behalf of their race as a coming-of-age ceremony at the beginning of pubescence. Facts now care about feelings. We will no longer be subjugated by AOC and her inner party, the Squad. The Culture War is not over. We will not be cancelled. We are the resista— radio static
March 2021
I used to be a real ad
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August 2021

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Do you have what it takes to be a Memester?

slow claps steps out of the shadows Heh... not bad, kid. Not bad at all. Your meme, I mean. It's not bad. A good first attempt. It's plenty dank... I can tell it's got some thought behind it... lots of quotable material... But memeing isn't all sunshine and rainbows, kid. You're skilled... that much I can tell. But do you have what it takes to be a Memester? To join those esteemed meme ranks? To call yourself a member of the Ruseman's Corps? Memeing takes talent, that much is true. But more than that it takes heart. The world-class Memesters - I mean the big guys, like Johnny Hammersticks and Billy Kuahana - they're out there day and night, burning the midnight meme-oil, working tirelessly to craft that next big meme. And you know what, kid? 99 times out of a hundred, that new meme fails. Someone dismisses it as bait, or says it's "tryhard," or ignores it as they copy/paste the latest shitpost copypasta dreamt up by those sorry excuses for cut-rate memers over at reddit. The Meme Game is rough, kid, and I don't just mean the one you just lost :). It's a rough business, and for every artisan meme you craft in your meme bakery, some cocksucker at 9gag has a picture of a duck or some shit that a million different Johnny No-Names will attach a milion different captions to. Chin up, kid. Don't get all mopey on me. You've got skill. You've got talent. You just need to show your drive. See you on the boards...
June 2017

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twitchquotes: 123+123+420=666 Illuminati confirmed
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November 2014
Forsen

Jigsaw

⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⣀⣤⣴⣶⣶⣿⣿⣿⣿⣶⣶⡄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢀⣴⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣧⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⢀⣴⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣦ ⠄⠄⠄⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡟⠋⠄⠄⠉⠿ ⠄⠄⢸⣿⣿⡿⠟⠛⠛⠿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡇⠄⣶⠒⣦⠄ ⠄⠄⠘⣿⣿⠁⠄⣠⠒⡄⢹⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⡀⠉⠉⣁⣴ ⠄⠄⠄⣿⣿⣦⡀⠉⠊⠁⠸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣟⣭⣿⣿⣿ ⠄⠄⠄⣿⣿⣿⣿⣶⣶⣷⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⠄⠄⢸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⠄⠄⠈⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⠄⠄⠄⠘⣿⣿⣿⡟⠻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠟⠉ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠈⢿⣿⣿⣄⠄⠉⠻⠿⠿⣛⣛⣫⣭⣿⣯⠴⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠙⠿⣿⣆⠄⠄⠐⣯⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠉⡀⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢄⠉⢻⣷⣄⠄⠐⢄⣨⣥⣤⡷⠖⠁⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⢠⠄⠄⢸⣷⣤⡀⠈⠂⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄
October 2018

Comedy God has entered the building: Attack Helicopter

I Sexually Identify as an Attack Helicopter WEE WOO WEE WOO ALERT! COMEDY GOD HAS ENTERED THE BUILDING! GET TO COVER! steps on stage Bystander: "Oh god! Don't do it! I have a family!" Comedy God: "Heh..." adjusts fedora the building is filled with fear and anticipation God and Jesus himself looks on in suspense comedy god clears throat everything is completely quiet not a single sound is heard world leaders look and wait with dread everything in the world stops nothing is happening comedy god smirks no one is prepared for what is going to happen comedy god musters all of this power he bellows out to the world "ATTACK" absolute suspense everyone is filled with overwhelming dread "HELICOPTER" all at once, absolute pandemonium commences all nuclear powers launch their nukes at once giant brawls start 43 wars are declared simultaneously a shockwave travels around the earth earth is driven into chaos humanity is regressed back to the stone age the pure funny of that joke destroyed civilization itself all the while people are laughing harder than they ever did people who aren't killed die from laughter literally the funniest joke in the world then the comedy god himself posts his creation to reddit and gets karma
August 2021

Classic

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