[Copypasta] The year is 2030. The AOC is now the Supreme Emperor of the United States and the Americas

The year is 2030. The AOC is now the Supreme Emperor of the United States and the Americas, and has successfully executed her forced feminization program, converting 72% of the us male population into women, the remaining 28% either existing peacefully as femboy subs or have fled the country, if they're lucky. All references to Dr. Seuss, Mr. Potatohead, and other such martyrs and thoughtcrimes will lead to prompt and inevitable cancellation by means of Jewish space laser. All statues of white people have been torn down and replaced with statues of AOC alongside Mao Zedong and Che Guevara, and the public has thus collectively forgotten about Robert E. Lee. The constitution has its 28th amendment, codifying mandatory cock and ball torture for all penis-having citizens no less than twice a week. It is illegal to say "Merry Christmas". Heterosexual relationships are strictly forbidden. Attack Helicopter, with pronouns brr/brrs, is a gender recognized on the official list of 93. The police have been almost entirely defunded, nationally having an annual budget of $5.30, enough for a single Big Mac Combo Meal. There is a new arm of the state, namely the "rape police" whose sole duty is functionally a secret task force to ensure all consent is affirmative and enthusiastic. All citizens must pledge allegiance to the LGBTQIA+ rainbow flag and swear oaths on White Fragility by Robin DiAngelo. All g*mers have been deported. Mexico is now the 53rd state, behind Puerto Rico and Washington DC. All bathrooms are gender-neutral. Marxism, the theory proposing the government do a lot of things, has become the official state ideology, including mandatory education on critical race theory beginning in pre-K. White people are second class citizens, guilty of being white, and all white people must publicly apologize on the behalf of their race as a coming-of-age ceremony at the beginning of pubescence. Facts now care about feelings. We will no longer be subjugated by AOC and her inner party, the Squad. The Culture War is not over. We will not be cancelled. We are the resista— radio static
March 2021
I used to be a real ad
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KkonaW

⡿⠋⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣤⣤⣴⣦⣤⣤⣤⣠⣤⣴⣶⣶⣦⣤⡀⠀⠀⠀⠈⢿⣿ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠉⠛⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠿⠟⠛⠉⠉⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⢻ ⣤⣤⣴⣶⣶⣶⣶⣶⡶⣶⣶⣶⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣶⢶⣤⣤⣶⣶⣶⣤⣶⣶ ⣿⣿⠟⠋⠉⠀⠀⠀⠠⠀⠀⠀⠈⢻⣿⣿⣿⡿⠉⠉⠀⠀⠀⠀⢠⠉⠛⠻⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣶⣦⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢠⣿⣯⣿⣷⠀⠀⠀⠀⢲⣶⣿⣿⣿⣷⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣶⣶⣶⣶⣶⣷⣴⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣶⣤⣄⣸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡟⢹⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣟⣯⣄⡘⢿⣿⣿⡀⠹⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⠟⠋⠙⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡷⠿⠋⠻⣿⣷⣏⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡍⠻⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⠀⠀⠀⠾⠿⠿⠿⠿⠿⠿⠿⣶⣿⣾⣿⣿⣿⢿⡿⠿⠿⠏⠈⠀⣸⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣄⠀⣀⡀⠐⠾⣷⣾⣿⣾⣷⣴⣾⣿⣿⣿⠟⠀⠀⣠⡆⢀⣼⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣦⣿⣿⣷⣶⣦⣾⣦⣾⣯⣌⣩⣥⣉⣠⣤⣴⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠿⠿⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠟⠿ ⣿⣿⣿⣍⣨⠿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣍⣀⣀⣀⣀⣀⠚⠻⣿⣿⡿⠿⠟⠃⠀⠀⣠
September 2020

I remember a time when copypasta was biting satire

twitchquotes: I remember a time when copypasta was biting satire and prophetic indictments of contemporary Twitch chat. Copypasta when I was a younger teenager had the potency to topple Nazi moderatorships and revolutionize new chat epochs. Even the truncation of "copypasta" to "pasta" shows a lack of eloquence that speaks volumes. If, like me, you are a product of those better times and wish to see them return then speak out. Let the memers and Toucans know that real copypasta back.
twitch chat
July 2015

MODS

Classic

But my heart still isn't as broken as Patron Warrior

twitchquotes: Mʏ ᴡɪғᴇ ᴏғ 20 ʏᴇᴀʀs ʟᴇғᴛ ᴍᴇ ᴀ ʏᴇᴀʀ ᴀɢᴏ. I ғᴏᴜɢʜᴛ ᴛᴏ ᴛʜᴇ ʙɪᴛᴛᴇʀ ᴇɴᴅ ʙᴜᴛ ᴛʜᴇ ᴄᴏᴜʀᴛs ɢʀᴀɴᴛᴇᴅ ʜᴇʀ ᴄᴜsᴛᴏᴅʏ ᴏғ ᴏᴜʀ ᴄʜɪʟᴅʀᴇɴ. Bᴜᴛ ᴍʏ ʜᴇᴀʀᴛ sᴛɪʟʟ ɪsɴ'ᴛ ᴀs ʙʀᴏᴋᴇɴ ᴀs ᴘᴀᴛʀᴏɴ ᴡᴀʀʀɪᴏʀ.
twitch chat
September 2015
strifecro

Hearthstone

Prize pool of 4 potatoes

twitchquotes: Hello, my name is Boris Ilya Pistolento. I'm from a small village in cold Siberia. For many years I dreamed of a profession, Cardstone player! But tetris all I can do. One day a trucker was crash in the back of the house of mine and a box fell out. It was the commodore 64, my dreaming is comming to reality. Now I can join the local tournamento, the prize pool of which 4 potatoes. Please no Copy-Pasta!
twitch chat
December 2014
Forsen

Hearthstone

I like spamming copypastas

twitchquotes: I like spamming copypastas. It's my favorite activity. When they're dank, I think to myself "yes". When they're removed, I think to myself "no".
twitch chat
January 2018
Text-to-Speech Playing