[Copypasta] The year is 2030. The AOC is now the Supreme Emperor of the United States and the Americas

The year is 2030. The AOC is now the Supreme Emperor of the United States and the Americas, and has successfully executed her forced feminization program, converting 72% of the us male population into women, the remaining 28% either existing peacefully as femboy subs or have fled the country, if they're lucky. All references to Dr. Seuss, Mr. Potatohead, and other such martyrs and thoughtcrimes will lead to prompt and inevitable cancellation by means of Jewish space laser. All statues of white people have been torn down and replaced with statues of AOC alongside Mao Zedong and Che Guevara, and the public has thus collectively forgotten about Robert E. Lee. The constitution has its 28th amendment, codifying mandatory cock and ball torture for all penis-having citizens no less than twice a week. It is illegal to say "Merry Christmas". Heterosexual relationships are strictly forbidden. Attack Helicopter, with pronouns brr/brrs, is a gender recognized on the official list of 93. The police have been almost entirely defunded, nationally having an annual budget of $5.30, enough for a single Big Mac Combo Meal. There is a new arm of the state, namely the "rape police" whose sole duty is functionally a secret task force to ensure all consent is affirmative and enthusiastic. All citizens must pledge allegiance to the LGBTQIA+ rainbow flag and swear oaths on White Fragility by Robin DiAngelo. All g*mers have been deported. Mexico is now the 53rd state, behind Puerto Rico and Washington DC. All bathrooms are gender-neutral. Marxism, the theory proposing the government do a lot of things, has become the official state ideology, including mandatory education on critical race theory beginning in pre-K. White people are second class citizens, guilty of being white, and all white people must publicly apologize on the behalf of their race as a coming-of-age ceremony at the beginning of pubescence. Facts now care about feelings. We will no longer be subjugated by AOC and her inner party, the Squad. The Culture War is not over. We will not be cancelled. We are the resista— radio static
March 2021
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More Copypastas

Do you guys mind not spamming the chat so much?

twitchquotes: Do you guys mind not spamming the chat so much? I'm really trying to pay attention to the stream and you guys are distracting me. If you guys really cared about the quality of the stream or [insert streamer name] you would stop the spamming and copying and pasting. God, I swear you guys are the worst part of twitch. Couldn't you just try to be mature for once in your life? Everyday I come here and it's the same thing, a bunch of no life neckbeards ruining this quality content for everyone else..
twitch chat
December 2017

Classic

I hate Twitch Chat

Imaqtpie's father messages him

twitchquotes: Hola Miguel, it is me your father, Fernando Santana. I see you achieved a lot in your life and your seniora Lisha is a fine mamacita. When are you comin to Mehico?
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June 2017
imaqtpie

League of Legends

forsenFeels

⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⡼⣱⢯⢾⡭⣒⣩⠖⢊⣁⡯⠭⠥⠬⠽⢈⠳⣳⡰⡝⣶⡀⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⣸⣿⣉⣄⠿⣻⣽⣷⣚⠭⠄⡿⠺⠭⠭⣭⡷⠙⢆⠹⢸⠈⣿⡄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⢀⣿⡟⠉⠄⣴⡏⡉⡯⠃⢀⣿⠧⠶⣯⡱⡝⠝⠂⠈⠄⠄⠄⠘⠈⣆ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⢸⣿⠧⢤⡀⠿⢿⠁⠄⣠⠄⡐⣠⣿⣶⣶⣶⣶⣶⣶⣦⡀⠄⠄⡴⠋ ⠄⠄⠄⡠⢼⡓⣄⠢⡑⠄⢀⣤⣾⣿⣿⣶⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣄⡸⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⡜⠷⠆⢰⠘⡆⠑⠃⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠁⠄⠄ ⠄⠰⡁⠄⢀⢸⠄⠇⠄⣺⣿⣿⣿⡦⠄⠠⠬⠭⠉⠙⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡏⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠴⠊⠱⣀⣀⡉⠁⠄⢰⣿⣿⢋⣴⣿⣦⣌⠳⣋⡄⠄⣾⢋⡀⠤⣀⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⢰⣿⣿⣿⣷⠂⣿⣿⣿⣷⣝⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣧⣼⣿⣆⣙⣠⡟⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⢸⣿⣿⣿⡏⢰⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡇⡶⢶⣶⣇⣿⣿⠏⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⢸⣿⣿⣿⣷⡀⠉⢻⣿⣿⣿⡿⣛⣋⡁⠚⠄⠨⢥⣿⠋⢲⡀⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⣠⠼⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡄⠄⠸⠿⡋⢠⣶⡦⣨⣙⣛⢋⠜⣁⣀⡀⡇⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠊⢸⠄⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣦⡀⠉⣐⢤⢻⣧⣀⣬⡾⢋⣾⣿⣿⣿⠥⡀⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⢸⠄⠄⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡷⠄⠄⠐⣸⡷⠿⠃⠄⠄⠻⠿⠿⠋⠄⡘⠤⡀⠄⠄ ⠄⢸⠄⠄⠘⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠃⢠⠟⠄⡆⠰⠄⢇⠄⡼⠄⢠⢂⡎⢠⠃⣀⠱⡀⠄
November 2021
Forsen

Emote

I hate gaming laptops

Today when I walked into my economics class I saw something I dread every time I close my eyes. Someone had brought their new gaming laptop to class. The Forklift he used to bring it was still running idle at the back. I started sweating as I sat down and gazed over at the 700lb beast that was his laptop. He had already reinforced his desk with steel support beams and was in the process of finding an outlet for a power cable thicker than Amy Schumer's thigh. I start shaking. I keep telling myself I'm going to be alright and that there's nothing to worry about. He somehow finds a fucking outlet. Tears are running down my cheeks as I send my last texts to my family saying I love them. The teacher starts the lecture, and the student turns his laptop on. The colored lights on his RGB Backlit keyboard flare to life like a nuclear flash, and a deep humming fills my ears and shakes my very soul. The entire city power grid goes dark. The classroom begins to shake as the massive fans begin to spin. In mere seconds my world has gone from vibrant life, to a dark, earth shattering void where my body is getting torn apart by the 150mph gale force winds and the 500 decibel groan of the cooling fans. As my body finally surrenders, I weep, as my school and my city go under. I fucking hate gaming laptops.
December 2020

Casual Kripp has finally reached the bottom

twitchquotes: Casual Kripp has finally reached the bottom. He has descended to casualness not often witnessed. He watches other people play and imagines their wins as his. His ego is inflated to enormous levels, and he cannot help but pat himself on the back and take credit for a game he did not play. His ego is satisfied for now, but what comes next?
twitch chat
January 2015
Kripp
Text-to-Speech Playing