[Copypasta] How to have sex and still be a virgin

You see if you have sex with another virgin you're therefore taking their virginity and they are taking your virginity so it's a win-win and you can still use Reddit
March 2021
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Equal rights equal fights

I (15M) was walking from school to home today and a girl (15F) kicked my leg. So yeah I was walking to home today and that bitchass girl kicked my leg. It didn't hurt too much it was more like a fly landing on me as my super muscly body protected me. But anyway, as a person that believes in gender equality I punched her a lot harder with my super muscly manly man fists and knocked her out, kidnapped her to my school's chemistry lab at night, then with my super smart brain I composed HCl (hydrochloric acid for those uneducated inferior peeps) with my super chemistry knowledge. I then dipped her in my glorious acid just like any gender equality believing sigma male would. Equal rights equal fights my dear superior reddit using sigma male friends.
May 2022

My NAAAME is Gyoubu Masataka ONIWA

⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀(\__/)⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀(•ㅅ•)⠀⠀My NAAAAAME is _ノ⠀ヽ⠀ノ⠀\_⠀⠀Gyoubu Masataka /⠀️⠀Y⠀⌒Y⌒⠀Y⠀️⠀️ヽ⠀⠀ONIWA! (⠀️⠀️⠀️(三ヽ人⠀⠀/⠀⠀⠀| |⠀️⠀️⠀️ノ⠀¯¯\⠀ ̄ ̄ヽノAs I breathe, ヽ___⠀⠀>、__/ you will NOT pass ⠀⠀⠀|⠀(⠀王⠀)〈 the castle gate ⠀⠀⠀/⠀⠀ミ`——彡⠀\ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀🐎
April 2019

I'm sorry for the comments I made. Please unban me

twitchquotes: I'm sorry for the comments I made. They were far beyond the point of being considered appropriate. You are an incredible person & me having been under the influence of alcohol is no excuse for allowing my behaviour to continue for as long as it did. I swear by God's gracious gift of free will that if you ever allow me to be an active member of your community again I will never follow the precedent I'd set for myself leading up to your rational decision to ban me. i think you're really cool.
twitch chat
January 2022

I am not receiving 328.2 million votes on my election

twitchquotes: I have noticed that, although America has 328.2 million people, I am not receiving 328.2 million votes on my election. I'm not sure if this is being done intentionally or if these "friends" are forgetting to vote for me. Either way, I've had enough. I have compiled a spreadsheet of individuals who have "forgotten" to vote for me. After 2 consecutive strikes, your name is automatically highlighted (shown in red) and I am immediately notified. 3 consecutive strikes and you can expect an in-person "consultation". Think about your actions.
twitch chat
November 2020

2020 US Election

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