[Copypasta] How to have sex and still be a virgin

You see if you have sex with another virgin you're therefore taking their virginity and they are taking your virginity so it's a win-win and you can still use Reddit
March 2021
(โ–€ฬฟฤนฬฏโ”œโ”ฌโ”ดโ”ฌโ”ด Psst... kid, you wanna disable adblock?
More Copypastas

So my boyfriend loves to play dota 2

twitchquotes: So my boyfriend loves to play dota 2 and is very immersed in twitch culture and this has extended to his everyday conversation. It seems like he can't go one sentence without using one such twitch "meme", like "pogchamp", "omegalul", "monka s", "bible thump", or "monka giga". I am fine with him watching twitch and enjoying his video games but honestly it's quite embarassing when we are talking to someone in public and he just randomly busts out a twitch "meme". It's so cringey and all my friends think he's weird. And don't even get me started on the random japanese phrases (he's white...) I swear this sounds like a meme post but i promise this is my real life ;___;
twitch chat
November 2018

Any advice, Dad?

twitchquotes: Kส€ษชแด˜แด˜, แด›สœษชs ษชs Tสส€แดษดแด‡, แดœส€ sแดษด. Mส แดแดแด, Lแด€วซแดœษชsสœแด€, ษดแด‡แด แด‡ส€ แด›แดสŸแด… สแดแดœ แด€ส™แดแดœแด› แดแด‡. I แดŠแดœsแด› ษขแดแด› แด‹ษชแด„แด‹แด‡แด… แดแดœแด› แดา“ Cแด€ษดแด€แด…ษชแด€ษด แด‡สŸแด‡แดแด‡ษดแด›แด€ส€ส sแด„สœแดแดสŸ า“แดส€ sแด€สษชษดษข "F*แด„แด‹" สŸษชแด‹แด‡ แดœ. Oส€ แดแด€สส™แด‡ ษชแด› แดกแด€s า“แดส€ สแด‡สŸสŸษชษดษข "RIP" แดกสœษชสŸแด‡ แด˜แดœษดแด„สœษชษดษข แด€ แด‹ษชแด…...แด€ษดส แด€แด…แด ษชแด„แด‡, Dแด€แด…?
twitch chat
January 2015
Kripp

Concave head Wojak

โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘ โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–„โ–„โ–€โ–€โ–€โ–„โ–‘โ–‘ โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–€โ–€โ–„โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–„โ–„โ–€โ–„โ–€โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–‘โ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘ โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–€โ–„โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–€โ–„โ–„โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–„โ–„โ–€โ–„โ–‘โ–‘โ–€โ–€โ–€โ–‘โ–„โ–€โ–‘โ–‘ โ–‘โ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–€โ–„โ–‘โ–‘โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–€โ–€โ–€โ–€โ–€โ–„โ–‘โ–‘โ–„โ–€โ–‘โ–„โ–„โ–‘โ–„โ–€โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘ โ–‘โ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–‘โ–€โ–„โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–„โ–€โ–‘โ–‘โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–€โ–‘โ–„โ–€โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘ โ–„โ–€โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–„โ–‘โ–€โ–„โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–€โ–€โ–€โ–€โ–€โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘ โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–„โ–€โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–€โ–„โ–€โ–„โ–„โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–„โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–„โ–€โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘ โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–€โ–„โ–„โ–€โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–„โ–€โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘ โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–„โ–€โ–€โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–€โ–€โ–„โ–„โ–ˆโ–„โ–„โ–€โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘ โ–‘โ–„โ–„โ–€โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–€โ–„โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–„โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘ โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–„โ–„โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–€โ–€โ–€โ–€โ–€ โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–€โ–„โ–„โ–€โ–€โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘ โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘
ascii art
November 2018

Natalie Portman is the reason I work out

Natalie Portman is the reason I work out. I have this fantasy where we start talking at the Vanity Fair Oscars party bar. We exchange a few pleasantries. She asks what I do. I say I loved her in New Girl. She laughs. I get my drink. "Well, see ya," I say and walk away. I've got her attention now. How many guys voluntarily leave a conversation with Natalie Portman? She touches her neck as she watches me leave. Later, as the night's dragged on and the coterie of gorgeous narcissists grows increasingly loose, she finds me on the balcony, my bowtie undone, smoking a cigarette. "Got a spare?" she asks. "What's in it for me?" I say as I hand her one of my little white ladies. She smiles. "Conversation with me, duh." I laugh. "What's so funny?" she protests. "Nothing, nothing... It's just... don't you grow tired of the egos?" "You get used to it," she says, lighting her cigarette and handing me back the lighter. "What would you do if you weren't an actress?" I ask. "Teaching, I think." "And if I was your student, what would I be learning?" "Discipline," she says quickly, looking up into my eyes, before changing the subject. "Where are you from?" "Bermuda," I say. "Oh wow. That's lovely." "It's ok," I admit. "Not everything is to my liking." "What could possibly be not to your liking in Bermuda?" she inquires. "I don't like sand," I tell her. "It's coarse and rough and irritating and it gets everywhere."
January 2021

Classic

DONALD TRUMP NUDES

twitchquotes: IF ๐Ÿ‡บ๐Ÿ‡ธ YOU ๐Ÿ‡บ๐Ÿ‡ธ SEE ๐Ÿ‡บ๐Ÿ‡ธ A LINK ๐Ÿ‡บ๐Ÿ‡ธ THAT ๐Ÿ‡บ๐Ÿ‡ธ SAYS ๐Ÿ‡บ๐Ÿ‡ธ DONALD ๐Ÿ‡บ๐Ÿ‡ธ TRUMP ๐Ÿ‡บ๐Ÿ‡ธ NUDES ๐Ÿ‡บ๐Ÿ‡ธ DONโ€™T ๐Ÿ‡บ๐Ÿ‡ธ CLICK ๐Ÿ‡บ๐Ÿ‡ธ ITS ๐Ÿ‡บ๐Ÿ‡ธ A ๐Ÿ‡บ๐Ÿ‡ธ VIRUS ๐Ÿ‡บ๐Ÿ‡ธ THAT ๐Ÿ‡บ๐Ÿ‡ธ PUTS ๐Ÿ‡บ๐Ÿ‡ธ AMERICAN ๐Ÿ‡บ๐Ÿ‡ธ FLAGS ๐Ÿ‡บ๐Ÿ‡ธ BETWEEN ๐Ÿ‡บ๐Ÿ‡ธ EVERY ๐Ÿ‡บ๐Ÿ‡ธ WORD ๐Ÿ‡บ๐Ÿ‡ธ YOU ๐Ÿ‡บ๐Ÿ‡ธ TYPE
twitch chat
October 2020
More Copypastas
Text-to-Speech Playing