[Copypasta] How to have sex and still be a virgin

You see if you have sex with another virgin you're therefore taking their virginity and they are taking your virginity so it's a win-win and you can still use Reddit
March 2021
I used to be a real ad
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My poop story

twitchquotes: My poop story. I lived in a dookie (pun on purpose) apartment complex in a college town, literally $300 a month, on a river in the south. So a small and always very high maintenance team worked for them. They showed up (stoned) and were changing everyoneโ€™s filters. Heard. Ok come in. I had a particularly funky little caesars pizza not an hour before the incident. We were making small talk and such as these things tend to linger, I suddenly felt a disturbance in my lower gut (bubbleguts). I felt confident in my distance from the maintenance guy that I got squeeze out a fart and then distract him into another room. This was no fart. At slightest bit of effort I put towards this fart a flood of terrible pizza diarrhea shot out of my ass like a goddamn rocket. As I was staring this man in the eye. I was staring another human being in the eyes...while I pooed my pants. To this day not only do I have no clue if he knew or not but I would still pay thousands of dollars to just see my face when that happened. That is my poop story.
twitch chat
June 2019

I apologize, as my English is rather substandard

twitchquotes: I apologize, as my English is rather substandard At what whereabouts were you when the popular browser video game Club Penguin shut down? I was in mine place of residence, when my communications device informed me that someone wanted to contact me. "Club Penguin, the popular browser MMO has shut down." "I disagree"
twitch chat
January 2020

Mr. Morosan's deceptive practices

twitchquotes: Twitch Chat (โ€œChatโ€) respectfully submits this memorandum of law in support of its motion to enjoin Octavian Morosan (โ€œnl_Krippโ€) from distributing false and deceptive advertising for his stream. The "nl" of Mr. Morosan's streaming identity refers to "no life." This is a blatantly deceptive and demonstrably false claim as it can be qualitatively determined that Mr. Morosan does indeed have a life. The Lanham Act merits an injunction preventing Mr. Morosan's deceptive practices.
twitch chat
April 2017
Kripp

Plankton

โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ–„โ–„โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ–„โ–„โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€ โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ–ˆโ–ˆโ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ–ˆโ–ˆโ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€ โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ–ˆโ–ˆโ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ–ˆโ–ˆโ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€ โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ–ˆโ–ˆโ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ–ˆโ–ˆโ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€ โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ–ˆโ–ˆโ”€โ”€โ”€โ–ˆโ–ˆโ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€ โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ–ˆโ–ˆโ”€โ–ˆโ–ˆโ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€ โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ–„โ–„โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–„โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€ โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ–ˆโ–€โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–€โ–ˆโ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€ โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ–ˆโ–‘โ–„โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–„โ–‘โ–„โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–„โ–‘โ–ˆโ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€ โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€ โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–„โ–ˆโ–€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ–€โ–ˆโ–„โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€ โ–ˆโ–ˆโ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ”€โ”€โ–„โ–ˆโ–„โ”€โ”€โ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ–ˆโ–ˆ โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ”€โ”€โ”€โ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ”€โ”€โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ”€โ”€โ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ”€โ”€โ”€โ–„โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆ โ–ˆโ–‘โ–ˆโ–ˆโ”€โ”€โ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ”€โ”€โ–€โ–ˆโ–€โ”€โ”€โ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ”€โ”€โ–„โ–ˆโ–‘โ–ˆโ”€ โ–€โ–ˆโ–‘โ–ˆโ–ˆโ”€โ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–€โ–ˆโ–„โ”€โ”€โ”€โ–„โ–ˆโ–€โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ”€โ–„โ–ˆโ–‘โ–ˆโ–€โ”€ โ”€โ–€โ–ˆโ–‘โ–ˆโ–„โ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–€โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–€โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–„โ–ˆโ–‘โ–ˆโ–€โ”€โ”€ โ”€โ”€โ–€โ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–€โ”€โ”€โ”€ โ”€โ”€โ”€โ–€โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–„โ–ˆโ–„โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–ˆโ–„โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€ โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ–€โ–ˆโ–‘โ–€โ–Œโ”€โ–Œโ”€โ–โ”€โ”€โ–Œโ”€โ–โ–€โ–‘โ–ˆโ–ˆโ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€ โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–Œโ”€โ–Œโ”€โ–โ”€โ”€โ–Œโ”€โ–โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€ โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€ โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€ โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€ โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–€โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–€โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€ โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–Œโ”€โ–โ”€โ”€โ–Œโ”€โ–โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€ โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–€โ–€โ–€โ–€โ–€โ–€โ–€โ–€โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€ โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–ˆโ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€ โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–ˆโ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€ โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ–ˆโ–‘โ–„โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–„โ–‘โ–ˆโ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€ โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ–ˆโ–‘โ–ˆโ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ–ˆโ–‘โ–ˆโ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€ โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ–ˆโ–‘โ–ˆโ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ–ˆโ–‘โ–ˆโ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€ โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ–€โ–ˆโ–ˆโ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€
ascii art
September 2021

Stop posting useless stuff in chat

twitchquotes: Cแด€ษด สแดแดœ แด€สŸสŸ แดŠแดœsแด› sแด›แดแด˜ แด˜แดsแด›ษชษดษข แด›สœแด‡sแด‡ แดœษดษดแด‡แด„แด‡ssแด€ส€ษชสŸส สŸแดษดษข แด˜แดsแด›s แด˜สŸแด‡แด€sแด‡? Tสœแด‡ แดษดสŸส ส€แด‡แด€sแดษด สแดแดœ แด˜แดsแด› แด›สœแด‡แด ษชs แด›แด แด›ส€ส แด€ษดแด… ส™แด€ษชแด› sแดแดแด‡แดษดแด‡ ษชษดแด›แด แด„แดแด˜ส แด€ษดแด… แด˜แด€sแด›ษชษดษข แด›สœแด‡แด. Wสœแด€แด› ษชา“ แดกแด‡ แด€สŸสŸ แดŠแดœsแด› ษขแด€แด แด‡ ษชษดแด›แด‡ส€แด‡sแด›ษชษดษข แด ษชแด‡แดกs แด€ษดแด… แดแด˜ษชษดษชแดษดs แด€ส™แดแดœแด› แด›สœแด‡ sแด›ส€แด‡แด€แด ษชษดsแด›แด‡แด€แด… แดา“ แด˜แดsแด›ษชษดษข แดœsแด‡สŸแด‡ss sแด›แดœา“า“? PสŸแด‡แด€sแด‡ I ส™แด‡ษข สแดแดœ แด›แดกษชแด›แด„สœ แด„สœแด€แด›, แด›แด sแด›แดแด˜ แดกษชแด›สœ แด›สœษชs ษดแดษดsแด‡ษดsแด‡.
twitch chat
July 2014
Kripp
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